The Experience That Changed Everything... Where Wholehearted NLP Really Comes From

Things don't always make sense.

Many times amidst the confusion, lies an invitation for us to find the clarity deep within the experience... if we dare to step into the truth of it. Outer facades dropping to reveal what really lies within. 

Intuition sometimes works in this way, pulling us towards or away from something without the initial clarity as to WHY we feel that way.

Few years ago I felt a strong pull towards Menorca - especially to a particular part of the island. When I arrived, I met a local and we connected straight away. This time it was different, I felt a strong need to talk to this person, almost as if it was a knowing, a 100% certainty even though I was initially unsure why.

We kept in regular contact after that first meeting, the intuitive pull remained strong. I thought I had met a life partner, whereas the true intuitive message would soon appear as something completely different. 

This person, at an unconscious level, was about to teach me one of my greatest lessons in life. One that would completely transform my work, my outlook on life and so much more. I had no idea at the time of meeting - neither did they. I just knew, for some reason we were being placed together.

Ever since I can remember I’ve been an optimistic person naturally able to re-frame events. Supporting friend's in need, I literally felt their pain and desperately wanted them to feel better. Naturally this developed into my profession too.

I find it easy to focus on the light, all things positive. It allows me to see and remind clients of their true potential when they’ve lost all hope. 

I’d learnt like many to ignore my emotions growing up - a way of survival from a young age. Long term, that behaviour was actually doing me more harm than good. Looking back now I can see how out of balance I was.

By only acknowledging the lighter side of things... we can never fully experience wholehearted self-acceptance.

Back home on the beach I watched the waves eating their way across the shore, observing the wet stones glistening in the sand. One caught my attention; it was a beautiful oval, grey, sparkly stone, which reminded me of this person. I bent down to pick it up when a huge wave came. As the wave retreated the stone was gone. Disappointed, I looked around though it was nowhere to be found. Still thinking of that person, another stone caught my eye in the same spot. Little did I know then what this beautiful heart shaped stone would truly represent.

Listening to my gut instinct, I took another trip to Menorca a few months later. There was a moment on this trip where everything clicked into place, certain conversations and the realisation that this person was not for me in the sense I initially thought. The expectation bubble was brutally burst. Painful at first until I realised they were coming into my life as one of my greatest teachers, in the moment I needed it most. 

A perfect mirror to face my shadow parts (parts we hide, dislike, avoid, suppress) and see them with love.

There, I saw a parent holding their sobbing child... eyes closed, with a loving calm breath, embracing the hurt with 100% presence. Later to ask the child, ‘what did you learn here for next time?’ 

I realised deep within THIS is how we need to embrace painful emotions within ourselves. Not run from them as I had spent a lifetime doing.

Looking at my stone, its meaning became so clear and what this whole experience was about.

It represents the light and dark within everyone. The importance of embracing our whole selves,  especially the shadow parts.

We can ask ourselves...

“I notice ___(observe feelings)___, it's ok, everyone has felt that at some point in their life, wonder what I can learn here?"

It’s human nature to move away from suffering and often we seek comfort from alcohol, food, unhelpful habits etc. Remember these only give us short lived pleasure, when in reality long lasting happiness is desired. And embracing all parts of ourselves, both light and shadow with love is creating even deeper wholehearted, self-acceptance.

My intuition had led me into the greatest love story - and not the one I initially expected. The longer I held onto expectations the more painful it became. It was when I let go and realised the true message of the experience, things transformed into an even greater love story... with my whole self. 

Thanks to that experience, I now teach Wholehearted NLP, using NLP to find the gifts within the shadow.

Thanks to that experience I'm discovering the gifts ALL emotions can offer. 

Thanks to that experience I'm continuing to learn and acknowledge both the light and shadow, within myself, within others and society.

Thanks to that experience my outlook on my work, life and self has completely transformed, for the better.

Is it all rainbows and unicorns now? 

Absolutely not. It's a daily practice of choosing integration and sometimes it's easier than others. I was clueless of what that intuitive pull was really signifying at the beginning, and this time I found out because I decided to follow the trail of clues. Clues being that pull, towards something, a curiosity to learn more, know more, experience more.

Intuition means 'inspired tuition'. Note the word TUITION. It's only tuition if we don't act on it. When we act on it, that's when can transform into an insightful and useful experience.

It's also important to note that an intuitive gut feeling can differ from person to person how we experience it. I can only speak from personal experience and my experience may differ to another persons experience. 

Pay attention, notice... look back over past events when you 'knew' something was off, not quite right or you needed to do something. 

What were the signs? 
How did you know? 
What's the common thread when you look back over several different events? 
Any similarities in how you 'knew'?

Awareness of this can pin-point how our intuition communicates with us. 

We're all different. 

My intuition can be both an overwhelming happy YES feeling to a subtle, constant pull or push. I know it's my intuition when if I haven't acted upon it, it appears again, and again, and again... that prodding as if to say 'go on'. On the other hand, if I get a sudden overwhelming desire or fear popping up that ceases to reappear again - even if I haven't acted on it - then I know often it wasn't really my intuition. 

Putting it into practice...

What are you being drawn to at the moment? (And no, I don't mean a quick desire for comfort food or alcohol. I'm talking about a sensation within, a gut feeling, a pull towards or away from something).

What does this feeling wish to communicate? 

I wonder, what gifts you'll encounter when you act on that loving message?

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this with them spreading the love further. 

Want more? FREE resources, events, online community etc all on my website www.emmabradford.net

My Wake Up Call... And It's Message

"I'm done conforming" I said to myself.

Following every 'Must Have Steps On How To Reach 6 Figures In Your Coaching Business' never really resonated with me. At times I felt guilty in the past for not taking part as I felt I 'should' be doing it because it was the seen thing to do.

"That's what all coaches do right? Doing __x__ training, __y__ program, __z__ social media tactic... so I need to do that too".

Yet some of it felt forced, rigid and even sneaky... (don't even get me started on Instagram following tactics). So I stepped away and felt set apart at times for doing so. 

You have to post in ____ way, every day.

Have to do __x__, __y__ and __z__ to gain followers  

You have to document all your life on social media stories everyday

Have to... must do... should do... etc.

The list grew longer and longer.

I'm good at being consistent with blog posts, social media updates, online community commitments, meetups, workshops etc. My Taurus determination has got me where I am today. I also noticed this Spring I needed a little more balance, running my business according to what resonates with me only without the guilt. 

A while ago I felt low in energy, having spent years behind a computer working hard to spread the message about Wholehearted NLP and offer support to those seeking it. Carrying the business solo - accounts, publicity, creation, coaching, training, admin... everything... single handed. 

Then I had a wake up call. Life slapped me in the face and brought me to my senses. 

My health was stretched from the pressure I was putting on myself and a friend left the Earthly plane. Success took on a whole new meaning. Talking about this with a dear friend at a house party afterwards... I explained to her how I forgot about the true meaning of success in life and what's truly valuable.

Friends, family and health.

So I postponed all my events for a whole month, looked within and step by step started making necessary changes in my life.

A) RECONNECT TO THE BODY: I reconnected to my senses even more, getting out of my head and into my body. Attending regular yoga classes, dancing more around the house to my favourite music, appreciating my body with gratitude.

B) PRIORITISE VALUES: I started prioritising time with family even more, and catching up with friends because that's something I value. Life is too short not to acknowledge what we value.

C) TIME-OUT TO RELAX: I started taking time out from work, choosing to post social media updates ONLY when I really wanted to and felt I had something worth sharing. 

I love my job, I feel passionate about spreading the message of finding gifts within the shadow and supporting individuals through that. Looking back I can see it was another layer to shed in realigning myself with what resonates in terms of how I manage my work/life balance.

To step a little further out of the rigidity and a little more into the fluidity.

So I decided upon a new work manifesto...

1) To post work based social media updates ONLY when I feel called to share an important message or valuable event. Bringing authenticity even more to the forefront of my work at ALL levels.

This doesn't mean to say to go for months without connecting with my community or that certain tips to gain publicity or out smart social media algorithms are unnecessary or even bad. If we value our community and have a message that can offer service and benefit, being present and learning useful tips can be a smart thing to do so the message actually gets seen. It's about using ONLY what resonates and leaving the rest. Using ONLY what feels authentic to us and letting go of what others may be doing if doesn't speak to us.

2) Listen to my intuition... when I need to step back and say no and when something is calling my attention.

Is it a complete 'yes!'? If not... then most often it's not the best choice for me, my business and clients so I won't go ahead.

3) Prioritise creative, relaxing, regeneration time out from work, as not only does this fuel work successes to come, it also contributes to true success in LIFE.


I share this openly because I feel it's important to keep bursting the bubble that all teachers are perfect and free from challenges - a common misconception, especially in the coaching/NLP world. Yes I've learnt some incredibly useful life changing tools over the years, and yes I've overcome many challenges too. This has helped me really understand clients deeply and guide them to their inner knowing during challenging life situations. Re-frame past events, rewrite the story within their unconscious and reconnect them to their true self within.

And just like any teacher... I'm human too.

A recent trip took me into the depths of the beautiful Cotswold's, in the UK with dear friends. A week away to unwind, laugh and explore. I remember before the trip, someone on social media commenting... "a whole week?! What will your clients do?!" I thought they were joking at first. Turned out they were serious and concerned for my clients well-fare if I was unavailable for a few days.

The old me would of felt guilty taking time out, questioning my actions and perhaps even slotted in a non-urgent hours of work during the trip, even if it could wait.

The new me wasn't having any of it. 

Knowing full well my clients and business were going to benefit so much more by having a re-energised, grounded and centred coach, not to mention allowing me to feel more human again by creating a more harmonious work/life balance. Hey, I even postponed a Facebook live... something I would have never done before as commitment and consistency are BIG for me. Though I knew, deep within I needed a switch off from the online work world. 

And you know what? It worked.

My energy built up with strength and I felt inspiration growing again within. Something I thought was disappearing... in reality it was simply waiting to be found again.

To find MYSELF again.

I felt tired back then because I was disconnected from my energy.

I felt lacking in inspiration back then because I was disconnected from my intuition.

The energy and intuition are within and around us... they ARE us. It's all about reconnecting to OURSELVES. 

Because we are, whether we chose to realise it or not, the staring role in our life. There are no back ups, covers waiting to fill in behind the curtains.

It's us, this life, and our choices.

If you've been feeling tired with life's challenges and commitments recently ask yourself this... who am I living my life for? 

And how do I choose to live it from now on? 

Now I'd love to hear from you! Reflecting on this, what one change do you feel called to make in your life to really embrace and LIVE life fully? And when will you do that? Let me know in the comment section below.

Have a friend needing a gentle nudge forward into fully embracing life? Offer a helping hand and forward this post. 

For more information on Training's, Workshops, Classes & 1:1 Coaching visit www.emmabradford.net 

7 Reasons Why We Don't Do What's Good For Us... And How To Change It

Daily...

• Meditation,
• Gratitude Lists,
• Exercise,
• Morning Routines,
• Journaling,
• Affirmations,
• Healthy Organic Food
• Etc...the list goes on.

Anyone else felt overwhelmed at times with the endless to do list of what we 'should' do to live a healthy and fulfilled life? 

I certainly have. 

Sometimes it can feel like a full time job doing everything that we need to to care for ourselves. The lists can be extensive, and even with small simple things there can be times where self-sabotage kicks in. We know what we need for a healthier, happier life, so why do we find it so hard to actually bring it into practice?

"I know I should meditate but I just can't seem to keep it going! What's wrong with me?!"

"I can't seem to stick to it... I was doing so well and now I'm back to square one"

Common phrases from clients. It's frustrating I know, I've been there many times too. 

As far as I know, there are 7 main reasons why we don't do what we know deep within we need to do for a happy and healthy life. 

1) Not addressing beliefs & emotions within the conscious/unconscious mind.

- Fears about change and/or negative beliefs about uncertainty and change

- Limiting beliefs about the new outcome, for example if loosing weight is the desired outcome there could be underlying beliefs and fears such as... "If I'm thin I'll attract unwanted attention (staying overweight to protect self)"

Creating Change...

What do I believe about change itself? What does change and uncertainty mean to me?

What do I believe about achieving __(desired outcome)__? 

Notice if any limiting beliefs arise and challenge them by re-framing the statement - what else could this mean?

For example: It's not whether I'm overweight or skinny that I attract unwanted attention... it's more to do with my beliefs about it that can attract uncomfortable experiences.

2) Being unaware of the secondary gain of current behaviour and situation where we're searching for something unconsciously. 

If we don't acknowledge our authentic desires this is where self-sabotaging/yo-yo behaviour can kick in. For example, if we want to relax, unwind yet have feelings of obligation, too many activities from work, commitments in our life along with a hidden drive of wanting to BE and relax rather than do... then can come the behaviour of sitting in front of the TV rather than exercising! As many say up to 95% or more of our behaviour is controlled by our unconscious mind. 

Creating Change...

What is the hidden positive intention here? What am I really looking for? 

How can I fulfil this AND do activities that fulfil my health and well-being too? 

3) Using negative, pressuring internal dialogue such as 'I have to/should do/must do...' rather than 'I will/can/want to...'. 

I don't know about you, I certainly don't feel motivated when I order myself to do something - I turn the other way!

Creating Change...

How am I talking and thinking about __x__? 

How can I change that so it becomes even more compelling and exciting so I want to do it? 

4) Being focused on instant pleasure rather than long term happiness. 

Bringing our focus on the task rather than the benefit is very common. When we do this, it can often demotivate us rather than motivate us.

Creating Change...

What is the big WHY in doing ___x___?

How will I benefit now and in the long term by doing ___x___?

5) Allowing our emotional state to remain dropped down and stuck... therefore less motivation. Our emotional state is KEY to how motivated we feel about things. 

Creating Change...

What music inspires, energises and uplifts me?

What puts a smile on my face? 

How can I use these to motivate me to do ___x___?

6) Creating to do lists from only one level - the mind.

Rather than acknowledging our body's capacity to physically carry out only a certain number of tasks out compared to how many the mind can actually think about. The mind is quick and has no limitations on time, whereas to physically do tasks throughout the day can take more time than to think about it. More about the Mind/Body list here.

Creating Change...

What 1 or 2 well-being tasks will I focus on solely that will bring me the greatest amount of joy, satisfaction and benefits? 

7) Feeling uncomfortable moving out of the comfort zone. 

To do something new, means shifting the energy in that moment and moving out of the comfort zone can feel... err at times... uncomfortable! What we're noticing is simply the shift in vibration from one situation to another. It's the initial step that is the biggest shift. 

There have been many articles talking about the Japanese technique to get things done by only doing 5 minutes of an activity. By doing so, once we've started, often we'll continue because we've already achieved that initial hurdle. 

Creating Change...

The previous points above plus social accountability can help take this first step. 

"If I notice awkward feelings about changing a pattern of behaviour even if it's something for my health and well-being, often I'm simply noticing the shift in energy in moving out of the comfort zone. The more I repeat the action of giving that activity a go, the more comfortable I can feel with the new behaviour"

So now over to you...

Looking back, is there something that you know you can benefit from yet you've been struggling to do it up until now? 

Which of the 7 above reasons resonated most and why? 

What will you do differently this week to create that change? Schedule in your diary now to make that even more of a reality. 

Have a friend that could benefit from this? Offer them a helping hand by sharing this post. 

And if you want more information on NLP Trainings, FREE Online Community, FREE resources and 1:1 sessions click here. 

How To Gain True Life Satisfaction

Life. 

Duality. 

I was reminded of this a few weeks back, celebrating the success of my recent NLP Graduate students - what an awesome group! And the same week hearing news of a friend that unexpectedly passed away. 

On one hand I wanted to jump for joy and celebrate the success of my students... on the other I wanted to cry, grieve - shocked at the sudden news of my friend. 

It was a BIG reminder on how valuable life is, and how we can take it for granted. 

Hours passing by scrolling Facebook or taking the 100th photo for the perfect Instagram selfie. I read a post once by Karly Nimmo who has a two shot rule. She won't take more than two photos - and then one of those gets posted. 

Or perhaps we binge eat, binge watch Netflix, use alcohol or smoking to disconnect from pain we may be feeling.

If endless social media or another vice really fulfills us deeply then by all means we can continue as long as it doesn't harm our health. More often than not it doesn't fulfill us in the long term - if we're really honest with ourselves, we're looking for something else deep down. 

Love, belonging, connection, acceptance, excitement, variety, significance... the list goes on.

It's when we move through challenges, finding insights and learning from those moments that we transform the need to stick a 'Netflix plaster' over how we feel. 

There can be ups and downs. 

Life can bring moments of joy and love... and moments of anger and grief. Much of how we experience things is to do with what stories we tell ourselves about things. Whether we're conscious of this or not. Our thoughts & beliefs create the frustration, struggle, stress and more. Sometimes we may not want to acknowledge this, because when we do we can't point the finger anymore. We're responsible. 

For our life.

How we choose to live it. 

Whilst we may not be able to directly change all circumstances in the world and other peoples behaviour. One of our greatest gifts in life is that we have the gift of choice. Choice on what actions we take or don't take. How we choose to respond to things and see situations. 

And this needn't mean an overwhelming list of do's and don'ts, feeling angry with ourselves if we are triggered yet again by a particular person or situation. Or feeling pressure to create big changes out of fear, setting goals looking for perfection as we believe it will bring a sense of belonging, rather than out of love for ourselves and our future.

Choice can simply mean choosing to make most of the simple little things. To really LIVE this life we are living in this human experience. 

For example...

• Stepping outside and breathing deeply rather than take our freedom to do this as granted.
• Observing the beauty of a flower rather than hurriedly pass it by.
• Closing our eyes and feeling the sunshine on our skin rather than think about endless to do lists.
• Hearing the sounds that surround us as individual sounds of a larger orchestra rather than noise.
• Noticing what we say to our self when we reconnect to the beauty of life in this way rather than beat ourselves up.

The list is endless. 

There are many options and choices available. 

Let's start with small, micro actions and experiences. It can be the small and simple things that often are the most powerful and beneficial.

I wonder... how many valuable things can we experience today?

Now I'd love to hear from you: What little blessing do you notice right now in your experience? Let me know in the comment section below. And join us in the online community.

Have a friend that would find this useful? Offer a supportive hand and share this post.

And if you want more information on trainings and how you can transform your life experience using NLP with heart - check out the latest trainings here.

The Hidden Drive Behind The Inner Critic & Why Vulnerability Matters

Fearful Part: "Shouldn't do__x__ need to do __y__ uggh I'm so lazy!"

Loving Part Within: "Relax"

Fearful Part: "Look at everything that needs to get done, will never get all this done or done right, I'm so hopeless"

Loving Part Within: "Just be"

Fearful Part: "Everyone else can manage why can't I? What's wrong with me?"

Loving Part Within: "Breathe"

Fearful Part: "I feel_(alone/sad/angry/numb/depressed)_ why is everyone else happy and not me?"

Loving Part: "Connect"

How many of us have heard that fearful part, the Inner Critic's judgements before? And how many of us have experienced what I call the 'Inner Critic's Hangover'? In other words... the heavier emotional states that result from negative self-talk. 

I have. 

And so has virtually every client I've worked with. In fact, I'm sure every human being on this planet has had at least one moment of feeling low or experiencing negative self-talk at some point in their life... if not on a regular basis. To experience the variety of colour that emotions bring is natural. With many of these emotions created by previous thoughts we can create change if we desire. If we feel heavier states often we're simply experiencing the hangover of indulging in the Inner Critic's fears.

Taking a deeper look, we can ask ourselves...

What is the hidden drive for the fearful, criticising part - what is it really looking for? 

What does it believe? 

When did it first decide this?

What positive insights do we know now that we didn't know back then?

And if we aren't sure straight away... if we were to know, what would we discover?

Looking for love & belonging is a common hidden drive. Trying to perfect ourselves or show a mask as unconsciously perhaps we believe showing imperfections or vulnerability will lead to separation or abandonment. The thing is, many desire deeper meaning, belonging, happiness and fulfilment in life, yet we move through life with a mask, shielding ourselves from that very fulfilment we desire.

Ironic huh? 

Click To Tweet: "Numbing ourselves from emotional pain, also numbs ourselves from joy. Moving through emotional pain (i.e. finding the gifts in the form of understanding, connection and support), helps us reconnect to joy" Emma Bradford

Being authentic, showing our imperfections and vulnerability can lead to...

Connection

Innovation

Creativity

Acceptance

Strength

Courage

Understanding

Healing

Belonging

Companionship

Support

And SO much more. 

Without opening up, daring to be vulnerable, we miss out on SO much. I've been there - it can be lonely place if we remain stuck in the Inner Critic Hangover.

How can we really experience deep love and belonging if we only show a mask and remain connected to fears?

Step by step we can journey towards greater authenticity and love each day. 

Is it easy? Not always. 

It can feel scary moving out of the comfort zone, breaking free and being real. It can feel different to listen to that loving voice within rather than just the fears. It's even scarier though never allowing ourselves the gift of authenticity and love in life. 

Energetically speaking, 2018 among many things is a year of SUPPORT. To create support, give support and receive support.

For ourselves, others, and society.

So if we're going through a challenging time, it's time to reach out. Each and every one of us are so worthy of love and belonging.

Entering the shadow, finding the light (gifts) and coming out the other side. Because to only listen and live life according to fears of the shadow is to completely ignore the love and light. It's not choosing one or the other, its using both for the highest good.

Our fears (shadow part) help us appreciate our strength (light) deepen our awareness and understanding of ourselves/others/society. And the light is the strength within to find the gifts in the shadow.

Want more light in the world? 

It starts within. 

Now I'd love to hear from you! What did you find most useful about this and what area will that help you with? Let me know in the comment section below.

Have a friend that would find this useful? Spread the love and share this post.

For more information, Wholehearted NLP trainings, FREE podcast, FREE online support group etc... click here.

Emotions Uncovered: The Hidden Benefits of Anger, Sadness & Fear

Emotions. 

Painful? Uplifting? Two sides of the same coin.

There are many different shades of anger... deep, red hot rage to a light red/pink hue of mild irritation. A rainbow of emotions within the human experience, and only experiencing the sunny yellow of joy doesn't allow us to experience the full rainbow. 

As with day and night... if we continuously experience daylight, wouldn’t it get a bit boring? Notice how after a cold, dark, wet winter, spring arrives with more light and warmth. Feels good right? 

We truly appreciate the light when we've experienced darkness too. 

To appreciate the wonderful nature of joy and happiness, we also need to understand what sadness and grief feels like. Doesn't mean we need to wallow in self-pity and grief for days and weeks. It simply means when an emotion arises - acknowledge it, feel it, learn from it and then let it go.  

All emotions are valid. This goes for ourselves too... all parts are valid.  

Click to Tweet: "Only accepting the lighter side of ourselves doesn't bring wholehearted self-acceptance. The shadow needs acknowledging too" Emma Bradford

Emotions (Energy in MOTION) are messengers giving us an invitation. Presenting a door that leads onto something else. If we decide to suppress, ignore, avoid certain emotions it's as if we keep the door closed unable to connect to the wonderful experience on the other side.

We miss out.

Often what prevents us to fully embrace emotions are our beliefs about them from past events. If we believe that crying our sadness or expressing anger is 'wrong' then whenever we feel sadness or anger we'll want to avoid or suppress it. 

It's not the emotion itself... it's the meanings we've attached to them from past experiences.

Afraid of what others might think - fear of showing our vulnerable side in case we're rejected. Vulnerability actually creates deeper bonds. 

Afraid of how it may feel - as we've attached a meaning that __x__ emotion always = pain. As a society we often search for instant pleasure rather than long term happiness. There's a difference between the two and often it's the latter that we really want even if we don't realise it. Searching for instant pleasure and avoiding certain emotions in the process won't bring us long term happiness. 

By opening ourselves to emotions, we open ourselves up to a whole world of experiences and insights. Emotions invite us to experience something else completely different and wonderful in and beyond them. 

Anger can lead to...

• Passion... creative fuel for new projects, missions and new rights.
• Self-esteem... by teaching us about our boundaries, our value and lead us to greater self-worth if we choose to observe the messages and act accordingly.
• Motivation... to create change.
• Etc..

Sadness can lead to...

• Understanding... of what we're experiencing.
• Gratitude... for what we had and have and to fully appreciate the uplifting times. Any sadness I've experienced, acted among many things as a reminder to appreciate what I have and become more present. To truly appreciate the wonderful joys that life has to offer that we can easily take for granted or miss in daily life.
• Connection... with others when we open up and share how we feel. The film 'Inside Out' is a wonderful example of this.
• Etc...

Fear can lead to...

• Courage... to feel the fear and do what we want anyway, recognising how brave we can be.
• Safety... so we can get ourselves out of risky situations if need be.
• Awareness... recognising our priorities and increasing our focus.
• Etc...

In other words it's not the hammer, it's the intention and action we choose to do with the hammer that's important. 

For too long certain emotions have been given a bad reputation, seen as something to be avoided whereas it's simply HOW we express them that's key. Expressing anger by dancing or painting how we feel is very different to punching someone in the face and spreading the anger further. The first transforms the energy, the second multiplies it.

So if anger (for example) isn't 'bad' why do we need to transform it? 

When we remain stuck and attached to certain emotions we interrupt the flow and they can build up within. A mild irritation at first may later become red hot rage if we don't see it for what it is, learn from it and express it in a healthy and productive way from the beginning. Plus I think most of us can agree that a little more peace, love and healing on this planet could be somewhat helpful!

It´s finding a balance, allowing ourselves to go with the flow, without remaining stuck to heavier emotions for too long. That's where NLP and the many other useful techniques and practices out there come in handy. Remaining stuck in certain emotional states can keep us demotivated, dis-empowered and affect our health.

Notice I use the word heavier instead of negative. If we label and judge certain emotions as negative, the more we interrupt the flow. Heavier emotions are the ones where we want to contract and withdraw... lighter emotions are the ones where we feel expansive and open.

By ignoring the knocking on the door of an emotion we miss the insight and gift... and it will only come back louder and stronger another time. 

As they say... what we resist, persists!

If we're learning something through the experience of an emotion can we really label that emotion as negative? Surely gaining new insights can be a wonderful thing, right?

So I wonder... what really lies beyond that door.

I'd love to hear from you, if you're experiencing a particular emotion what is it inviting you to connect with right now? What door is being presented to you? Let me know in the comment section below.

Want practical tips, videos and more? Join the Online community here. Have a friend that would find this post useful? Spread the love even further and share this post. 

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This Could Be The Most Powerful Thing You Do...

'Nothing will change so why bother'

'There's no point even trying'

Have you thought either of these in your life before? I certainly have, and I know many of my clients have too. 

It can feel pretty awful seeing the disheartening news stories, fear based marketing and manipulative tactics out there. Being an entrepreneur I've seen the in's and out's of what goes on in the coaching world... paid likes, sneaky social media tactics, fear based marketing pointing out why people are so flawed they need to buy the product... the list goes on.

To be honest I felt sick to my stomach with some of the things I saw and heard in the last few years. I felt ashamed and embarrassed to be part of what I saw at the time, a manipulative industry.

I felt like giving up. 

Starting anew. Changing career despite loving what I do and hearing gratitude and thanks from clients.

I realised that whilst this was all going on, I was simply seeing so much of it because I was focused on it. The grass is greener where we water it! I opened my perspective and realised that there are also so many wholehearted, authentic coaches that offer valuable support without actively promoting the 'you're broken' message.

By shying away, avoiding the industry all together, wasn't going to bring more light and change things. If I did, it would be one less person creating a positive change in an industry that needs it. If I gave up... using other people's negative behaviour as a reason to quit, I'd be running away from the shadow side of the industry and playing the victim.

And that's not what I teach.

Click to Tweet: "Matching fear with fear, does not create love" Emma Bradford

Running away from what we find challenging doesn't change things. By running away or ignoring things it's as if we've given others (or the issue) permission to continue growing and growing. And this is applicable to everything... what we see in society, aspects about ourselves, issues in relationships... everything we find a challenge. 

Those of you who have been following my work for a while will know I talk a lot about light and shadow. This metaphor is the basis of what I teach - Wholehearted NLP. Using NLP with heart for the highest good of ourselves and others, to uncover the gifts and messages of the shadow (the parts we don't like) so we can reconnect to our light (our true essence). 

Light and shadow is within everything. You probably have heard of Yin and Yang right? Opposing energy forces. If you look at the image below you can see how connected the two forces are. We cannot have one without the other. Where there's night also comes day... when we can experience hot we can also experience cold.

Also notice that within the shadow side there is a little bit of light too. 

This light within the shadow can come in the form of gifts, insights, meaning, connection and support all of which can be found during challenging times and situations... if we dare to open up to it and face the shadow. I've come to realise that it's not one or the other. It's both. hand in hand. Light and shadow together that invite us to fully embrace, learn from and appreciate this human experience we call life. 

The light comforts, reminds us of our immense strength and supports us as we shine light on the shadow to uncover the insights.

The shadow provides gifts, deep insights and supports us to fully appreciate the light. 

Gaining Clarity...

1) INTERNAL: If we use this metaphor to look at ourselves... embracing both the parts we like (light) and the parts we don't (shadow) this can bring true wholehearted self-acceptance. Let's use our strengths to help us overcome what we find challenging within. 

2) EXTERNAL: If we use this metaphor to take positive action (light) regarding the horrors (shadow) we see in society... this is what starts to create more peace. Let's use positive behaviours and actions to create new projects, communities and experiences that support and generate wonderful change in the parts where the shadow is prevalent. 

Actionable Steps...

1) INTERNAL: What's your top strength? How can you use that to start transforming (even if it's simply transforming by perspective) a part of yourself you don't like? For example... my creativity is one of my strengths and this plays a key role in helping me express painful emotions from my shadow. 

2) EXTERNAL: One, simple act of kindness has the ability to completely transform someone's day. The receiver can feel wonderful and often feels inclined to spread it out further... creating a ripple effect. What simple act of kindness can you do today? For example... helping someone up the stairs with their suitcase or simply a smile as you go about your day.

The big changes in the world are calling us to take a good look within and outside of ourselves. To finally face whats been lurking in the shadow for a long time, whether that's personal fears or racism, hatred and inequality in society. We cannot destroy something with the same thinking that created it. Matching fear with fear does not create love. Time is calling us to look at the shadow head on, shine our light on it, find the gifts IN it and use those gifts to create positive change. 

It's up to us. 

Let's use what we don't like as fuel for creating loving change rather than running away and blaming. Let's be empowered rather than victims. 

It's time for change. 

Have a friend who would find this useful? Please continue spreading the love and share this post.. this could count as one of the acts of kindness!

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