7 Reasons Why We Don't Do What's Good For Us... And How To Change It

Daily...

• Meditation,
• Gratitude Lists,
• Exercise,
• Morning Routines,
• Journaling,
• Affirmations,
• Healthy Organic Food
• Etc...the list goes on.

Anyone else felt overwhelmed at times with the endless to do list of what we 'should' do to live a healthy and fulfilled life? 

I certainly have. 

Sometimes it can feel like a full time job doing everything that we need to to care for ourselves. The lists can be extensive, and even with small simple things there can be times where self-sabotage kicks in. We know what we need for a healthier, happier life, so why do we find it so hard to actually bring it into practice?

"I know I should meditate but I just can't seem to keep it going! What's wrong with me?!"

"I can't seem to stick to it... I was doing so well and now I'm back to square one"

Common phrases from clients. It's frustrating I know, I've been there many times too. 

As far as I know, there are 7 main reasons why we don't do what we know deep within we need to do for a happy and healthy life. 

1) Not addressing beliefs & emotions within the conscious/unconscious mind.

- Fears about change and/or negative beliefs about uncertainty and change

- Limiting beliefs about the new outcome, for example if loosing weight is the desired outcome there could be underlying beliefs and fears such as... "If I'm thin I'll attract unwanted attention (staying overweight to protect self)"

Creating Change...

What do I believe about change itself? What does change and uncertainty mean to me?

What do I believe about achieving __(desired outcome)__? 

Notice if any limiting beliefs arise and challenge them by re-framing the statement - what else could this mean?

For example: It's not whether I'm overweight or skinny that I attract unwanted attention... it's more to do with my beliefs about it that can attract uncomfortable experiences.

2) Being unaware of the secondary gain of current behaviour and situation where we're searching for something unconsciously. 

If we don't acknowledge our authentic desires this is where self-sabotaging/yo-yo behaviour can kick in. For example, if we want to relax, unwind yet have feelings of obligation, too many activities from work, commitments in our life along with a hidden drive of wanting to BE and relax rather than do... then can come the behaviour of sitting in front of the TV rather than exercising! As many say up to 95% or more of our behaviour is controlled by our unconscious mind. 

Creating Change...

What is the hidden positive intention here? What am I really looking for? 

How can I fulfil this AND do activities that fulfil my health and well-being too? 

3) Using negative, pressuring internal dialogue such as 'I have to/should do/must do...' rather than 'I will/can/want to...'. 

I don't know about you, I certainly don't feel motivated when I order myself to do something - I turn the other way!

Creating Change...

How am I talking and thinking about __x__? 

How can I change that so it becomes even more compelling and exciting so I want to do it? 

4) Being focused on instant pleasure rather than long term happiness. 

Bringing our focus on the task rather than the benefit is very common. When we do this, it can often demotivate us rather than motivate us.

Creating Change...

What is the big WHY in doing ___x___?

How will I benefit now and in the long term by doing ___x___?

5) Allowing our emotional state to remain dropped down and stuck... therefore less motivation. Our emotional state is KEY to how motivated we feel about things. 

Creating Change...

What music inspires, energises and uplifts me?

What puts a smile on my face? 

How can I use these to motivate me to do ___x___?

6) Creating to do lists from only one level - the mind.

Rather than acknowledging our body's capacity to physically carry out only a certain number of tasks out compared to how many the mind can actually think about. The mind is quick and has no limitations on time, whereas to physically do tasks throughout the day can take more time than to think about it. More about the Mind/Body list here.

Creating Change...

What 1 or 2 well-being tasks will I focus on solely that will bring me the greatest amount of joy, satisfaction and benefits? 

7) Feeling uncomfortable moving out of the comfort zone. 

To do something new, means shifting the energy in that moment and moving out of the comfort zone can feel... err at times... uncomfortable! What we're noticing is simply the shift in vibration from one situation to another. It's the initial step that is the biggest shift. 

There have been many articles talking about the Japanese technique to get things done by only doing 5 minutes of an activity. By doing so, once we've started, often we'll continue because we've already achieved that initial hurdle. 

Creating Change...

The previous points above plus social accountability can help take this first step. 

"If I notice awkward feelings about changing a pattern of behaviour even if it's something for my health and well-being, often I'm simply noticing the shift in energy in moving out of the comfort zone. The more I repeat the action of giving that activity a go, the more comfortable I can feel with the new behaviour"

So now over to you...

Looking back, is there something that you know you can benefit from yet you've been struggling to do it up until now? 

Which of the 7 above reasons resonated most and why? 

What will you do differently this week to create that change? Schedule in your diary now to make that even more of a reality. 

Have a friend that could benefit from this? Offer them a helping hand by sharing this post. 

And if you want more information on NLP Trainings, FREE Online Community, FREE resources and 1:1 sessions click here. 

Two NLP Hacks To Get Back On Track

That moment of frustration - you know there must be a better way to achieve something yet you can't quite see it. What do you do? 

Give up? 

Keep going doing the same thing over and over? 

Or do what toddlers do? (And no I don't mean a tantrum).

Behaviour flexibility - Toddlers are experts at it. If they can't get what they want, their behaviour moves from begging, crying, shouting, throwing things. Whilst these behaviours might not be appropriate as adults in most situations... it's the mindset that's invaluable. If one thing doesn't work whilst moving towards a goal, try something else. Still moving in the same direction though changing the tactic, the approach.

I was reminded of this whilst playing Trionimos with my Grandmother recently. You can learn a lot from this game and my patience and determination was certainly tested many times! To fit all the tiles together it takes behaviour flexibility, finding new ways to readjust the tiles so all of them connect. 

One of the BIGGEST reasons why people don't achieve the goals they desire aside from the limiting beliefs and fears... is the lack of consistency. 

It's easy to give up. 

It's easy to give up and say it didn't work. Quite often we do this just before the results arrive too.

Giving up doesn't bring you what you want though. 

If one approach doesn't work... try another. If two Trionimo tiles don't fit together, move a few others around so they all can. 

It sounds simple, and often the most beneficial things are. These things can often get overlooked for their simplicity and then many wonder why some people have 'all the luck' and they don't. 

Digging a little deeper, it isn't a question of luck at all. 

By adopting behaviour flexibility we can TRANSFORM situations, discover new solutions, gain new skills and so much more. It just requires us to tap into that flexible, curious mindset. "Mm I wonder, how can I make this work?"

Sometimes we can become stuck thinking that if we let go of the way we've been doing something that means we've failed in some way. And this couldn't be further from the truth. It's not a failure to change the approach. Some would say it's a failure not to try, or even still to continue repeating the same behaviour even though it's not working. 

So this month, if you have something you'd like to bring into your life for example...

• Learning a new skill
• Regaining your healthy natural weight
• Maintaining a regular yoga or meditation practice
• Increasing the amount of wholefoods consumed
• Etc...

And you feel like giving up, use these next few points as a reminder...

1) What is your WHY. Why do you want to bring this into your life? Use this as motivation when you feel like giving up. What will that that new yoga or mediation practice give you for example? What will you be able to let go of? 

2) Boost your emotional state. When we feel good, we naturally feel more energised to continue learning that new skill or maintain a regular practice. Regularly connect with music that you love, images that inspire and energise you, inspiring podcasts etc (and if you haven't checked out The Life Manual podcast you can do so here).

These two points can help whenever you need to re-adjust, try a different approach and keep moving forward. It doesn't matter if we hit a obstacle. It matters what we do consistently that counts. And slip ups teach us a wealth of wisdom... IF we tap into that behaviour flexibility and keep moving forward. 


I'd love to hear your thoughts! What new practice or goal are you bringing into your life now and what will help you? And if you'd like to read further on motivation check out my previous blog post here. 

Have a friend that would find this useful? Offer them a helping hand and forward on this post. 

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