4 Levels to Creating Change

If you've been reading the news about different critical events, I'm sure like many, you may have been feeling a lot. 

Here's a gentle reminder - it's ok to feel. 

To feel scared, outraged, worried etc. 

To be human, and to connect to natural human responses is healthy. 

What doesn't help is to remain stuck in them, judging, blaming and shaming, forgetting the bigger picture and deeper thread that connects us all. 

There are many ways to create change in life, personally and collectively. 

I don't have all the answers (much I'm still learning) though from what I've observed over the years so far from my own setbacks, challenges and bumps along the way - as well as my wins, client successes too. 

There are 4 KEY LEVELS to creating change, in no particular order - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.

You see, everything is made of frequency (science has proven this time and time again) and each of the following levels hold a different frequency and vibrate at different speeds. Each valid, each important.

Picture this...

If I was to tell you to  "go to the beach now"... you may have an image or memory that arises. From that you may start to feel something, you may also get an intuitive messages or realise that so many people around the world are connected through the sea and the sea is like a representation of humans... each a drop in one giant ocean. 

And through all of that, physically you are still where you are. The physical body vibrates slower (and needs more time to make the shift) compared to the mind and emotions and spiritual connection. 

                                      

Let's look at these levels through the eyes of creating change in life.

On a PERSONAL level - if you've been moving towards a desired outcome can you can identify any of the following that you have overlooked?

• PHYSICAL: Take action, get practical.
• MENTAL: Hold the vision, clear any subconscious beliefs that may limit.
• EMOTIONAL: Express what needs to be expressed, and feel the joy of receiving what you want to call in.
• SPIRITUAL: Remember the deeper thread that connects all, listen to your intuition (the guidance from your Soul.

This can also be applied COLLECTIVELY...

• PHYSICAL: Helping on a practical level, giving aid, supporting others physically in need is important.
• MENTAL: Holding the vision and belief that a harmonious world is possible is important.
• EMOTIONAL: Express what needs to be expressed constructively, and feel what it would be like to experience a world with more harmony (heart coherence) is important.
• SPIRITUAL: Prayer, energy work, meditation etc is important.

All levels are valid, all levels are important.

To ignore, blame, shame, judge, avoid one of those is to miss the full opportunity given by LIFE to create a shift in the current experience. 

I've seen a lot of blame and judgement online lately, there are many horrified and furious with what is going on around the world (rightly so). Though to turn that onto fellow humans, judging how others show up in times of crisis is a waste of precious energy. 

What if that energy used to help those in need directly instead?  

Something I've struggled with over the years is finding the balance between being of service, and also doing it in a way that is sustainable in the long run for me and others.

Sensitivity to the subtle realms is my superpower... and I've needed to learn plenty of self-care and boundaries too. 

I have friends who are born activists and dive head first into all the horror, shadow and do their humanitarian work there.

They are amazing. 

And I also have other friends like me, who focus more on the energetic work, both internally and externally to contribute to more integrated harmony for humanity, which is also incredibly important. Making sure I don't overtax my nervous system so I can support clients in need whilst still being aware of what is happening in the world and contributing through the subtle realms through intention, attention, prayer, healing meditation etc. 

All ways of helping are valid. 

• Looking at your own shadow. 
• Protesting
• Prayer
• Group meditation
• Donations

The list goes on.

Collectively we all contribute. 

Which brings me to 3 questions I recently asked on Instagram...

• What's your vision for this planet and humanity? 
• What do you spend your time, energy and attention focused on? 
• Are those in alignment? 

Read that again.

We are collectively co-creating this world. It's impossible to go into all the nuances in one blog post though with these 4 levels it's a starting point to expand the perspective and shift the energy to one of possibility and opportunity. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, how are you showing up for yourself and others in today's world? 

NOTE: If you are struggling, only focused on your immediate world, know that's ok too. You, focusing on you, in moments of struggle is valid, allowed and important on a vibrational level. Though often what can happen is when being of service is brought in, the personal experience can shift too, after all it's one of the 6 basic human needs - contribution.

And if you need some extra support to gain clarity, calm and confidence 1:1 sessions are available worldwide. Full details here. And also a Podcast episode here. 

Two NLP Hacks To Get Back On Track

That moment of frustration - you know there must be a better way to achieve something yet you can't quite see it. What do you do? 

Give up? 

Keep going doing the same thing over and over? 

Or do what toddlers do? (And no I don't mean a tantrum).

Behaviour flexibility - Toddlers are experts at it. If they can't get what they want, their behaviour moves from begging, crying, shouting, throwing things. Whilst these behaviours might not be appropriate as adults in most situations... it's the mindset that's invaluable. If one thing doesn't work whilst moving towards a goal, try something else. Still moving in the same direction though changing the tactic, the approach.

I was reminded of this whilst playing Trionimos with my Grandmother recently. You can learn a lot from this game and my patience and determination was certainly tested many times! To fit all the tiles together it takes behaviour flexibility, finding new ways to readjust the tiles so all of them connect. 

One of the BIGGEST reasons why people don't achieve the goals they desire aside from the limiting beliefs and fears... is the lack of consistency. 

It's easy to give up. 

It's easy to give up and say it didn't work. Quite often we do this just before the results arrive too.

Giving up doesn't bring you what you want though. 

If one approach doesn't work... try another. If two Trionimo tiles don't fit together, move a few others around so they all can. 

It sounds simple, and often the most beneficial things are. These things can often get overlooked for their simplicity and then many wonder why some people have 'all the luck' and they don't. 

Digging a little deeper, it isn't a question of luck at all. 

By adopting behaviour flexibility we can TRANSFORM situations, discover new solutions, gain new skills and so much more. It just requires us to tap into that flexible, curious mindset. "Mm I wonder, how can I make this work?"

Sometimes we can become stuck thinking that if we let go of the way we've been doing something that means we've failed in some way. And this couldn't be further from the truth. It's not a failure to change the approach. Some would say it's a failure not to try, or even still to continue repeating the same behaviour even though it's not working. 

So this month, if you have something you'd like to bring into your life for example...

• Learning a new skill
• Regaining your healthy natural weight
• Maintaining a regular yoga or meditation practice
• Increasing the amount of wholefoods consumed
• Etc...

And you feel like giving up, use these next few points as a reminder...

1) What is your WHY. Why do you want to bring this into your life? Use this as motivation when you feel like giving up. What will that that new yoga or mediation practice give you for example? What will you be able to let go of? 

2) Boost your emotional state. When we feel good, we naturally feel more energised to continue learning that new skill or maintain a regular practice. Regularly connect with music that you love, images that inspire and energise you, inspiring podcasts etc (and if you haven't checked out The Life Manual podcast you can do so here).

These two points can help whenever you need to re-adjust, try a different approach and keep moving forward. It doesn't matter if we hit a obstacle. It matters what we do consistently that counts. And slip ups teach us a wealth of wisdom... IF we tap into that behaviour flexibility and keep moving forward. 


I'd love to hear your thoughts! What new practice or goal are you bringing into your life now and what will help you? And if you'd like to read further on motivation check out my previous blog post here. 

Have a friend that would find this useful? Offer them a helping hand and forward on this post. 

Want to be the first to receive these posts PLUS extra information that I only send by email? Join the monthly newsletter list here. There's a FREE gift too. 

Where The Feeling Of Joy REALLY Comes From... And How To Manage 'Failure'

There's a saying we often say in NLP.

One I've repeated time and time again in seminars, workshops and coaching sessions. 

I use this phrase as a reminder that it's not the end of the world if something doesn't go 'according to plan'. 

Before I dive straight into the phrase, I'd like to mention one common mistake in the self-development field (or what I prefer to call self-awareness field) and most importantly how to rectify it. 

Often we can get so caught up with a desired outcome, setting goal after goal so much so that we miss what's in between and within the process in getting there. 

I certainly fell victim to this during my first few years within this industry. Feeling that I needed to achieve more, do more, have more, be more. That put me in a very unhappy place indeed as I was so out of balance with the other side of the coin. Being an ambitious, determined Taurus by nature I still need a reminder time to time though slowly and surely over the last few years I've learnt how to balance things out. 

It's great to have goals, a desire to grow, expand and experience new things in our lives. What's not so great is doing so and forgetting to be present along the journey too. Smelling the flowers along the way as they say. 

That's where our joy comes from. 

Those little moments, experiences and gems that we experience day to day whilst we move towards x, y or z. 

Not the sole actualisation of x, y or z. 

Menorca 'Reclaim Your Inner Strength' Retreat May 26-28th 2017

Click To Tweet: "Joy comes from those moments, experiences and gems that we experience day to day... not the sole actualisation of a goal" Emma Bradford

And if, for whatever reason we strive towards a goal and things turn out differently than expected, how we choose to move in the lead up to the goal plays a HUGE role in how we experience 'failure'. 

For example, say there are two friend's... A and B.

• Friend A desperately wants to achieve x, all focus is 100% on achieving x and nothing else will do. Currently feeling a lack, a sadness because they have yet to achieve x.

• Friend B also wants to achieve x and whilst the goal is within focus they're also mindful and present about what they're learning along the way. Feeling more content about themselves and the world as the journey progresses appreciating the experiences they've gained so far.

Now, if neither one successfully achieves x first time round, which friend do you think will bounce back quicker and still feel good regardless? Which one would be more willing to give it another shot and try a new tactic?

Friend B right? 

This brings me back to the NLP phrase I mentioned... "There's no failure, only feedback" or as Marie Forleo says... "I may win or I may learn... though I never loose". 

If there is something you are working towards in your life take a moment to reflect how you are moving towards that goal.


1) Is this something I desire at all levels, that is congruent with my beliefs and values? 

2) Am I enjoying the process, learning and collecting experiences and stories along the way? If not, what can help me shift my focus?

For example... some may find placing a reminder their phone with one of the above quotes/phrases helps. Find what works for you.

The journey is where we can find little nuggets of joy. It's our relationship with the experience that makes all the difference. As Brene Brown says...

"I leap for the experience through the air... because I cannot predict the landing... (ask yourself)... what's worth doing even though I may fail?"

Have a friend that would find this useful? Forward on this post, offering a helping hand.

And if you'd love to transform how you manage unwanted emotions, negative self-talk and to experience a more accepting and loving relationship with yourself come and join my exclusive retreat in May!

Return home feeling refreshed, knowing you can handle whatever life throws at you. A weekend retreat that lasts a lifetime.

More details can be found HERE - earlybird price ends 15th of March 2017!

What To Do When You Feel Like Giving Up...

It's an awful feeling. 

I know I've certainly encountered this many times in my life. 

Creeping up, seemingly as if out of nowhere. 

It's in those moments of lack of hope, exhaustion or simply feeling fed up things can feel pretty bleak, numb and lonely. Striving towards things just to experience setback after setback. In fact, we have more influence on what we experience in life than we realise. 

This topic has come up quite a few times with clients.In a society where 'achieving' and 'doing' is seen to be the bees knees, we are simply repeating the school system well into adult life, looking for validation and praise outside of ourselves. Feeling that we need to achieve, succeed and busy ourselves in order to be accepted.

It's when we start accepting ourselves though, wherever we are on our journey that things begin to transform.

The problem is when in the process striving towards a goal, we can feel completely overwhelmed and exhausted if our focus is misplaced. Often we have high expectations of ourselves, comparing our backstage to another's show reel. Remind yourself of this next time you're on social media! ;-)

I've noticed many times when 'trying to control the outcome' behaviour occurs in clients, it's often due to deep seated fears. When we hold high expectations of what we 'should have in our life' judging, pushing and controlling outcomes we're doing so from a place of fear... a fear of UNCERTAINTY, FAILURE and the meanings we attach to them.

We wrongly assume that if we control the situation as much as we can, in as many aspects as we can... that it guarantees the outcome we desire, therefore eliminating the uncertainty. Actually life can be pretty unexpected at times! We also wrongly assume that if we fail... that somehow leads to rejection from others.

Not necessarily the case. 

What actually happens is that by acting out of fear, we are rejecting the true flow of life, we are rejecting ourselves, our whole, perfectly imperfect selves and exhausting ourselves in the process. Sometimes our desire to give up is simply pinpointing our need to see failure and uncertainty in a different light.

FAILURE is simply and opportunity for feedback, a stepping stone to try again from a different angle. The real failure is failing to try again.

UNCERTAINTY is simply an opportunity for new experiences. If everything was certain in life there would be no adventure, no variety, no excitement and no new wonderful surprises.

Click To Tweet: "When we try to control things we simply fear uncertainty & failure... in fact these bring variety, excitement & direction" Emma Bradford 

In NLP we often talk about goal setting, SMART goals, desired outcomes and more. It's great to have something to move towards to challenge ourselves, grow and evolve as a human being. Life can be pretty dull and frustrating if we remain stuck in the same situation day in day out for years. There's a difference though in pushing and controlling out of fear for something to happen... and lovingly working towards things whilst detaching from the specific outcome of how we need to experience something. 

The 3 Main Steps Of Manifesting...

1) We need to ASK, being clear and specific about what we want. No half-hearted wishful thinking here - be clear! Write it down, speak about it using positive language and be specific.

2) We need to BELIEVE that we can have it or better, tapping into our senses, what we will see, hear, feel when we experience that? Often this step is where people struggle... if we don't address the limiting beliefs held both consciously and unconsciously we will find it very hard to manifest what we desire. And when we truly believe that something can happen, we can let go of all needs to control the situation. When we try to control, often that is simply indicating that at some level we are holding a fear/doubt that it may not happen. 

3) We need to be open to RECEIVE what it is that we desire, and this can take action too. Things don't necessarily fall from the sky into out laps (even though I have seen some magical things happen!) we need to take inspired action and meet the Universe (or whatever term you wish to use) halfway. This is where our intuition comes into play. Listen to your gut feeling pulling you towards or away from something... intuition invites us to take inspired action.

There's a difference between wanting with fearful attachment...

"If I don't get this I'm a failure"

Forcing and exhausting ourselves to achieve something VS asking and believing without ties to the specific result and especially how something occurs...

"I desire this or better... I'm open to wonderful new experiences coming my way"

If you have been working towards something recently and feel like giving up, use these next 4 steps I put together to rebuild your foundations.

The 4 W's To Realignment...

1) WHICH emotions are present? Notice how you are feeling, what is within and safely express that ('I feel...' page which you can download HERE can help)

2) WHAT is this feeling and setback teaching you now?  Tap into your curious mindset and ask yourself the meaning of the current situation. How is this setback helping to propel you forward into the life you desire?

3) WHERE is your focus? Are you focusing on where you are not, the lack and fear in life? If so, refocus on what fills you with love, take bite size steps towards your desired outcome. 

4) WHY are you working towards this desired outcome? What is your big 'WHY' behind this... what will it give you? Use this as motivation to continue moving forward.

Now I'd love to hear from you! Is there something you have been working towards and have been struggling to make it a reality? If so, what have you found most useful in this blog post and why?

Have a friend that is struggling at the moment? Send them some love and offer a helping hand by sharing this post. 

If you want FREE NLP coaching and weekly guidance and support, join the online community HERE. 

PLEASE NOTE: Whilst this blog post is mainly addressing the feeling of giving up regarding projects and goals, helplessness can feel awful. If for any reason this is going deeper and you feel suicidal please contact your local support number here. 

One Important Key To Finding What You Want

It was a few summers ago when I experienced this, a great reminder many people overlook.

A fundamental point that has the ability to significantly change your life experience, and if ignored can lead to all sorts of lengthy detours and challenges.

That summer I was discovering the sites and wonders that Cataluña has to offer... enjoying the fresh, clean, forest air.

Ahhh... the perfect antidote to busy, entrepreneurial life.

Crystal clear streams to cool down from the Spanish sun, followed by tranquil picnic spots to unwind after a long day exploring.

During this trip, my road trip partner and I were excitedly preparing for a summer barbecue, we had the coals, the food, now we just needed a site.*

"We'd like to find a BBQ site please!" we eagerly stated out loud - as we often did. 

Hungry and raring to go we drove through a little town and asked some locals. They pointed, we followed, only to find the site was closed and no BBQ's were allowed.

Onto the next.

Adventure filled road trip for sure.

The next site we found had facilities however the locals clearly stated we had to ask permission, book the space before hand and the person in charge was unavailable at the moment. We had found a space but we couldn't use it. Hmmm thinking to myself, something started to click within.

"OK... we'd like to find a BBQ site that is available to use this evening".

The search continued, both being typical Taurus, we weren't giving up that easily!

Next stop: There was an available site, but also a huge derelict building right next to it. The space was filthy, broken glass, stray cats... it looked like something from a horror film in the diminishing evening light. Not inviting at all.

"OK! We'd like to find a BBQ site that is available to use this evening, comfortable, clean and welcoming!" 

At this point we were both laughing, realising what had been preventing our success up until now.

Sometimes we think we are putting the message 'out there' for what we want... when in reality we are giving mixed messages or simply just being too vague. We may know that critical thinking, fears and doubts can hinder the manifesting process, however, what many often forget is that not being SPECIFIC is a major factor too. 

In this case, it was the later and this adventure was a wonderful reminder. We had simply been looking for 'BBQ site'. We found spaces, just not what we really wanted.

Our RAS (Reticular Activating System), a part of the brain that helps to bring things to our awareness was looking for something vague as that was all we had stated. RAS, a filter between the unconscious and conscious... a fundamental part of the brain for goal setting. More on the RAS here.

If we desire something, and we are not clear on what we really want... it can lead us down all sorts of adventure filled experiences. Whilst that can be fun, sometimes it can take us much longer to achieve that desired outcome.

Look at it this way: 

If you want to enjoy great health, regulate your natural weight, boost self esteem, love your body etc answer the following...

1) What SPECIFICALLY are you looking for?

E.g.) 'I want to be healthy enough to do __X__' (not just 'I want to be healthy'... notice the difference?)

2) Where and when would you like that? (What specific day and time?) 

E.g.) I want to be healthy enough to do ___X___ by ____'

3) How will you know when you achieve that? (What will you see, hear, and feel?) 

E.g.) 'When I am healthy enough to do __X__ by ___ I will see____, hear____ and feel____'

The clearer the desire within your focus, the clearer the message that goes to you RAS, therefore the more likely that outcome will occur. Your RAS does not know that difference between reality and imagined experiences. It doesn't even know the difference between limiting beliefs and true helpful beliefs. It simply acts like a faithful dog running after the ball its master has thrown. So feed it clear, positive direction by doing the following...

• Visualise: Imagine your desired outcome as a movie scene including all the desired details and sensory information (what you will see, hear and feel).

• Positive Language: Talk about your desired outcome using positive, reinforcing language both with yourself and others. For example, 'I am losing weight' not 'I am trying to lose weight but it never seems to shift' the later reinforces 'I am not losing weight' to your RAS... which in turn keeps that experience in your reality. 

• Consistent Action: Take small, consistent actionable steps towards your desired outcome to strengthen and reinforce the direction you wish to go in.

• Reprogram The Unconscious Mind: Clear up any opposing, negative beliefs that may be stored unconsciously. More on removing limiting beliefs here.

And you'll be pleased to know, on that trip we managed to enjoy some delicious BBQ's, in gorgeous spots despite the initial detours!

Now I’d love to hear from you...

What SPECIFIC desired outcome would you like to experience and what first step can you can take towards achieving that? 

Using the comment section below, schedule it now and holding yourself accountable. It is scientifically proven that those who write goals down, and do the necessary steps above are over 95% more likely to achieve them. Yes really! So the real question is, how much do you really want it? ;-)

I look forward to reading your comments, until next time, wishing you a fabulous month ahead.


Sharing is caring...

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this blog post now via Facebook, twitter or by email and offer a helping hand.

FREE GIFT: Want to be the first to receive these posts plus extra bonus information that I only send by email? Sign up to my monthly newsletter here and receive a FREE Guided Visualisation mp3 to boost your Self-Esteem even further.


*Because of forest fires and the Spanish heat there are specific locations for enjoying BBQ's.

One Common, Forgotten Key To Manifesting What You Want

'Think big'

'Skies the limit' 

'Don't hold back'

...how often do we actually do that? 

How often do we allow ourselves to ask for what we really want?

Maybe you do allow yourself to ask and take action towards goals yet still find yourself in times of struggle and hardship?

I have seen both with myself and clients, that so many of us place ourselves at times, in these containers of 'I don't deserve it', 'I'm not good enough', 'don't be greedy' etc. Believing that if we are happy, successful and receive wonderful things then that's often considered as a threat to others. Now that's an unhappy belief to hold onto! 

What if we were to change things and start allowing ourselves to receive those gifts? If we allow ourselves to experience happiness then we naturally radiate that others, helping the world to be a brighter place.

I was reminded of this on a recent holiday to Menorca. I emailed the reception staff before travelling to check if I could have two single beds, for myself and my friend who was joining me in the studio flat I reserved. I thought, "you know what I really would love? Is a studio flat with a sea view and a terrace too. Why not?" I considered it for a moment as I heard the dialogue starting in my mind "You can't ask for all of that, it's too much, you're just being greedy, you're already requesting a change of the beds blah blah blah." I observed the thoughts and then let them go proceeding to request what I wanted regardless, ceasing to listen to the limiting beliefs further. 

[Before I continue, I'd like to add that everyone has moments of doubt and negative self talk at some point in their lives (yes even NLP coaches!). I point this out to let you know that it's OK. It's what makes us human. Be kind to yourself, as it's what we do with these thoughts that really count. The less we focus on these doubts and detach from the negative stories we tell ourselves, the less they will have an impact on our lives.]

Later that day I received a response, saying that all the studio flats were on the ground floor with no sea views and no terrace so the extra requests were not possible. "Fair enough" I thought, "Even though it would be really nice (and I believe I deserve it!)... I'll let it go." 

When I arrived to check in, despite my initial booking all the studios were unavailable as they accidentally double booked themselves the last minute. 

This resulted in receiving a completely free upgrade to a 3 bedroom flat with sea views and a terrace. 

Result!!

Would I have still received that if I hadn't emailed that request? Who knows. 

However, I am sure that by...

• Allowing myself to request that and put the message out there regardless
• Being open to receiving what I wanted (i.e. believing that I deserved it) 
• AND most importantly letting go of the 'how' and fearful attachments to the results

...helped to bring that into reality (more on how we create our reality here). 

When manifesting/goal setting if we are constantly stuck in a place of doubt, fear, 'I don't deserve it' mentality... even whilst taking action towards our goals, that's often when the struggles and set backs come into play. It's not to say everything will be completely 100% plain sailing if we don't. Just that by asking, believing and letting go of the reins of attachment it can help to make the ride a whole lot smoother. 

Next time you catch yourself wanting something and hearing that Gremlin in the back of your head with all the excuses, limiting beliefs and fears...take a moment and STOP.

1. Briefly observe the doubts and let them go by changing your focus back what you want - not what you don't want or the fears surrounding it. (More info on how to remove persistent limiting beliefs here)
2. Feel how good it could be to have that as you visualise it (Make it sensory based noting what you'll see, hear and feel)
3. Put the message out there by taking action. Bite-size, actionable steps to move towards that desired outcome.
4. Then, change your focus back 100% to whatever you were doing previously in the present moment. This helps to let go of attachment to fears and doubts and surrender to the flow of true manifestation. 

I often find the last step is the most powerful as it helps to release attachment and stop entertaining the fears and doubts. If these are left to linger within our focus they can reverse the whole manifestation process. This is the hidden key that most people forget about. Bringing our attention back to the present moment.

Try it. 

Notice what changes as you use that hidden key whenever you wish for something. Using the comments below share what you would love to receive in the next month and observe what thoughts come up. If you notice any 'I don't deserve it' beliefs, challenge them and state positive phrases to break that down such as 'I am choosing to deserve it' or 'With every breath I take my self worth grows stronger and stronger'. Then following the steps above notice what happens. 

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this post and offer a helping hand.

Until next time, happy manifesting ;-)

EXTRA: Want to be the first to receive these posts plus extra bonus information that I only send by email? Sign up to my monthly newsletter here and receive a FREE Guided Visualisation mp3 to boost Self-Esteem.