Inner Critic: The Most Common Mistake & How To Avoid It

I thought it was about time I wrote this. 

Seeing it's something I've talked about a lot during workshops. It's also one of the most common 'diseases' out there. And yes I've suffered from it too.

'I can't do it' 

'I'm ugly/stupid/fat etc'

'I'm not good enough'

Seriously... I don't know a single human being that hasn't thought one of these at some point in their life. Quite often when we do, we assume we're the only person. That somehow everyone else 'out there' is separate from us and we're stuck in a gloomy, lonely dark corner. 

I'll let you into a secret... believe it or not, these limiting thoughts are not coming from you as a whole. You are simply the one listening and hearing these thoughts. You are something so much more if you dare to believe. 

These are coming from what many call the 'Inner Critic'... that part that is scared, fearful, angry and hurt. The part that is holding onto limiting beliefs and fears by a way of protection and comfort however weird that may be.

Though by continuing to believe and act according to these thoughts, will only take us so far.

Quite often when we believe we're not good enough, that we're flawed, we use it as an excuse as to why we can't have something, do something or why we can't enjoy the life we desire. We use it as an excuse to stay within our comfort zone. Believing we must be what we think society views 'perfect' in order to be worthy of something. Funny thing is, perfection is totally a matter of individual preference and perception!

To be worthy of a great job, body or partner does not mean you need to be perfect.

Yet often the negative voice within doesn't take notice of this... and you know one of the reasons why? Because we've been giving attention to what it says as if it's gospel and we haven't cleared away the limiting beliefs within.

Being a perfectionist can have it's drawbacks, especially if we choose to believe the Inner Critic. Good news is, it's not too late for change. 

Thanks to many practical tips I've learnt from NLP, I discovered how to start detaching from my Inner Critic, transforming that voice into my Inner cheerleader whenever I notice it arising. Is it always easy and plain sailing? No. Though what I've learnt along the way has made it so much easier.

You see, this fearful part (the Inner Critic) contrary to popular belief is not something to be shunned, boxed or suppressed. You've probably heard the phrase 'what you resist, persists' right?

It's applicable to to this too. 

Click To Tweet: The Inner Critic is giving you a dare... are you going to believe what it says or pursue what you love regardless? Emma Bradford

I've heard endless times to just 'reject' what the Inner Critic says... I certainly thought that at first too. Whilst this might be partly helpful, it's also a common mistake in how to effectively deal with the Inner Critic during  the long term.

If we solely ignore what it says, certain negative thoughts & beliefs will simply continue to pop up if we don't deal with the root cause. Our Inner Critic is simply repeating fears and limiting beliefs that have been stored unconsciously from a young age. For example, if we learnt 'I'm stupid' when we were young, that may still pop up in the form of our Inner Critic if we don't address the root cause... the first event in which we decided that.

I've gathered a lot of information on this topic both from my professional work and personal life experiences over the years, no doubt it will become a book one day too. There's just too much to include in just this one blog post!

First of all, let me give you 3 simple steps that both my clients and I have found helpful when noticing negative thoughts from the Inner Critic within.

Pay Attention To The 3 L's

1) Listen and observe what the Inner Critic is saying - awareness is key, observe what is being brought to your attention. There is a huge difference between listening & learning compared to listening & believing the negative thoughts.

2) Learn from the Inner Critic - what is it teaching you about your fears? What limiting beliefs are being pointed out that can be let go of now? Where & when did you decide these beliefs originally? How can you view that past event differently now so to let go of the limiting beliefs? 

For example... if you notice the Inner Critic often comments 'I'm lazy, I can never get anything done' dig a little deeper and uncover the root cause using the questions above. If you'd like an extra helping hand, book yourself a 1:1 Empowerment Session with a coach that works with the unconscious mind (details on what I offer HERE). 

3) Connect to what you Love, at a Soul level regardless of what the negative chatter says within - the Inner Critic is an expert at Finding Excuses And Reasons why you can't do something. Notice that by believing and acting on what it says, you simply keep yourself in a state of fear.

Finally know this... there may be good days and challenging days, and when we discover skills to gain insights and detach from the Inner Critic, life can become much easier. 

It's like you suddenly have the handbook and phrases to speak another language if ever the need arises. 

The Inner Critic is not something to reject or 'get rid of completely'. It's something to help us learn and embrace our shadow side, so we can step into an even greater wholehearted way of life layer by layer. And by doing that, notice how life can be so much more insightful and fulfilling. It's there for a reason.

The Inner Critic is one of our greatest teachers... it's simply up to us to recognise that, and utilise it.

Now its your turn... using the comment section below, what's your Inner Critic teaching you right now? I'd love to hear your shares and perhaps your share can help inspire others too.

Have a friend that may find this useful? Offer them a helping hand and forward this post. Sharing posts like these help to spread love even further into the world.

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I KNOW, I've been there too.

Thanks to many useful, practical tips I learnt through NLP I started detaching from my inner critic, transforming that voice into my inner cheerleader.

If you want to discover more about WHAT I DID and how you can benefit, grab a spot at this special workshop... repeated once more due to popular demand.

One Important Key To Finding What You Want

It was a few summers ago when I experienced this, a great reminder many people overlook.

A fundamental point that has the ability to significantly change your life experience, and if ignored can lead to all sorts of lengthy detours and challenges.

That summer I was discovering the sites and wonders that Cataluña has to offer... enjoying the fresh, clean, forest air.

Ahhh... the perfect antidote to busy, entrepreneurial life.

Crystal clear streams to cool down from the Spanish sun, followed by tranquil picnic spots to unwind after a long day exploring.

During this trip, my road trip partner and I were excitedly preparing for a summer barbecue, we had the coals, the food, now we just needed a site.*

"We'd like to find a BBQ site please!" we eagerly stated out loud - as we often did. 

Hungry and raring to go we drove through a little town and asked some locals. They pointed, we followed, only to find the site was closed and no BBQ's were allowed.

Onto the next.

Adventure filled road trip for sure.

The next site we found had facilities however the locals clearly stated we had to ask permission, book the space before hand and the person in charge was unavailable at the moment. We had found a space but we couldn't use it. Hmmm thinking to myself, something started to click within.

"OK... we'd like to find a BBQ site that is available to use this evening".

The search continued, both being typical Taurus, we weren't giving up that easily!

Next stop: There was an available site, but also a huge derelict building right next to it. The space was filthy, broken glass, stray cats... it looked like something from a horror film in the diminishing evening light. Not inviting at all.

"OK! We'd like to find a BBQ site that is available to use this evening, comfortable, clean and welcoming!" 

At this point we were both laughing, realising what had been preventing our success up until now.

Sometimes we think we are putting the message 'out there' for what we want... when in reality we are giving mixed messages or simply just being too vague. We may know that critical thinking, fears and doubts can hinder the manifesting process, however, what many often forget is that not being SPECIFIC is a major factor too. 

In this case, it was the later and this adventure was a wonderful reminder. We had simply been looking for 'BBQ site'. We found spaces, just not what we really wanted.

Our RAS (Reticular Activating System), a part of the brain that helps to bring things to our awareness was looking for something vague as that was all we had stated. RAS, a filter between the unconscious and conscious... a fundamental part of the brain for goal setting. More on the RAS here.

If we desire something, and we are not clear on what we really want... it can lead us down all sorts of adventure filled experiences. Whilst that can be fun, sometimes it can take us much longer to achieve that desired outcome.

Look at it this way: 

If you want to enjoy great health, regulate your natural weight, boost self esteem, love your body etc answer the following...

1) What SPECIFICALLY are you looking for?

E.g.) 'I want to be healthy enough to do __X__' (not just 'I want to be healthy'... notice the difference?)

2) Where and when would you like that? (What specific day and time?) 

E.g.) I want to be healthy enough to do ___X___ by ____'

3) How will you know when you achieve that? (What will you see, hear, and feel?) 

E.g.) 'When I am healthy enough to do __X__ by ___ I will see____, hear____ and feel____'

The clearer the desire within your focus, the clearer the message that goes to you RAS, therefore the more likely that outcome will occur. Your RAS does not know that difference between reality and imagined experiences. It doesn't even know the difference between limiting beliefs and true helpful beliefs. It simply acts like a faithful dog running after the ball its master has thrown. So feed it clear, positive direction by doing the following...

• Visualise: Imagine your desired outcome as a movie scene including all the desired details and sensory information (what you will see, hear and feel).

• Positive Language: Talk about your desired outcome using positive, reinforcing language both with yourself and others. For example, 'I am losing weight' not 'I am trying to lose weight but it never seems to shift' the later reinforces 'I am not losing weight' to your RAS... which in turn keeps that experience in your reality. 

• Consistent Action: Take small, consistent actionable steps towards your desired outcome to strengthen and reinforce the direction you wish to go in.

• Reprogram The Unconscious Mind: Clear up any opposing, negative beliefs that may be stored unconsciously. More on removing limiting beliefs here.

And you'll be pleased to know, on that trip we managed to enjoy some delicious BBQ's, in gorgeous spots despite the initial detours!

Now I’d love to hear from you...

What SPECIFIC desired outcome would you like to experience and what first step can you can take towards achieving that? 

Using the comment section below, schedule it now and holding yourself accountable. It is scientifically proven that those who write goals down, and do the necessary steps above are over 95% more likely to achieve them. Yes really! So the real question is, how much do you really want it? ;-)

I look forward to reading your comments, until next time, wishing you a fabulous month ahead.


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*Because of forest fires and the Spanish heat there are specific locations for enjoying BBQ's.

Feeling Fearful? Try This...

I was reminded of this a few weeks ago.

Chatting to my NLP teacher and her partner… I realised the giant leap I had made.

4 years ago whilst standing in her training room, my first ever NLP course, the fear of public speaking was making an appearance yet again. Something I struggled with throughout school, college, university and even as an assistant manager in London.

I hated it.

Often hiding behind pieces of paper that I would hold, shaking and whispering words so quiet no one could hear me. The exercise at the time was to create a story in groups to teach the names of the planets in a memorable and entertaining way. I somehow managed escape most of it, assigning myself the role of ‘Chief Artist’ saying the bare minimum by drawing all the diagrams on the board instead.

Much more enjoyable I thought! Funny too, as there were only 4 people in the room… I was that terrified.

Avoidance, however, doesn’t help you improve things.

And the satisfaction I have felt since by acknowledging and facing my fears totally outweighs the 5 minutes sketching a comic strip on the board.

Sometimes when taking a moment chatting to others about our journey we realise how much things have transformed. Take a moment to consider…

• Is there an area of your life you used to really struggled with and now you find much easier?
• What did you learn about this on the journey to success?

With regards to public speaking, I started step by step by holding myself accountable and scheduling weekly talks. The first ever meetup I held over 3 years ago was in a small bar in Raval, Barcelona, with just 3 people. With support and encouragement both from myself* and members this became easier and easier. Also by removing limiting beliefs and using light hypnotic language to tell my unconscious everything will be ok helped to transform that area even further.

4 keys to moving from FEAR to SUCCESS effectively...

Social Accountability - Schedule that event before you feel ready, hold yourself accountable.

Practice - Practice, practice, practice... there is no failure, only feedback!

Support - Open up to finding and receiving support from both yourself and others.

Removing unconscious barriers - Find the unconscious root cause and remove it with love.

Fast forward 4 years from my first NLP training, and I now teach weekly classes on NLP and Self Awareness techniques to large groups, largest being 45+ people! Whilst there is room for improvement and each week I learn more and more… the transformation from what I used to be like to now, has been quite humbling. I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for my NLP training and desire to share these invaluable tools.

Tweet: "If you're Finding Excuses And Reasons why you can't... you're keeping yourself in the FEAR zone." Emma Bradford


If we allow it, fear can take hold on us we may even try to shove everything under the carpet to avoid the pain.

Though by doing so, the crap often spills out anyway.

For example, by ignoring a fear of rejection it can manifest as a bad habit or illness the more we suppress it. It is simply the emotion's way of shouting for our attention. Ignore it, and it will find another way to get your attention. 

By observing how you feel with kindness and dealing with the root cause creates long lasting results. This is what I do with clients, with the combination of them…

1) Accepting personal responsibility for their life, willing to participate during a program of sessions e.g.)  showing up and doing a few super quick reinforcement NLP exercises between sessions if required.

2) A desire to experience change with the support and skills provided.

And I as their NLP coach help them to…

3) Find and heal the root cause by reprogramming their unconscious and create a more compelling future.

Together we can create significant results as we don’t treat the symptoms, we treat the root cause. If you want to hear what my clients really think you can click here.

In the meantime I encourage you to consider…

• Is there something in your life that you find challenging and often avoid?
• What have you been looking to feel or gain by not dealing with that fear directly? 
• And what are you losing as a result of this behaviour?
• Take a moment to notice how stepping into that, owning the experience and saying yes to change can bring so much more joy in the years to come when you overcome that fear. Better than avoidance, right?

I’d love to hear from you!

Using the comment section, what area of your life will you apply the 4 keys (Social accountability, practice, support and working with your unconscious mind)? When will you start doing that? Schedule it now and hold yourself accountable noticing the transformation that follows when you take action.

Or is there something else that has helped you improve an area in your life? If so feel free to share your experience and insights below. 

Until next time, wishing you a great month ahead!

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this blog post now via Facebook, twitter or by email and offer a helping hand.

FREE GIFT: Want to be the first to receive these posts plus extra bonus information that I only send by email? Sign up to my monthly newsletter here and receive a FREE Guided Visualisation mp3 to boost your Self-Esteem even further.

* I encourage you, every time you step out of your comfort zone to give yourself kind words, a hug or a pat on the back. Positive reinforcement makes future steps so much easier! 

Transforming Fear Into Strength... What Would You Do?

'Basically, it's hot enough to melt steel'

...they said, as I breathed in the cool, crisp evening air and heard the gushing of the river Thames nearby. 

I was just about to do something that terrified me.

I was forcing myself well out of my comfort zone, yet I knew with all my being that this experience was right for me at this time in my life, I had to do it. 

2015, for many has brought huge changes. I could see clients and meetup group members experiencing turmoil... "This autumn has been too much!" I heard as I started focusing meetup events and workshops more and more on soothing the emotions within and how to detach from the inner critical voice. 

It seemed so needed at this time, more than ever.

I too went through major personal shifts earlier this year, with situations forcing me to let go, re-adjust and continue strengthening the loving connection within despite of challenging experiences.

Painful, yes.

And as with most things, what I learnt through the process made it so worthwhile.

So whilst looking up at the stars that cool evening near London, hearing the energy of the crowd and feeling the adrenaline pumping within I knew that my life experience was about to move to another level. I was about to test my beliefs about life and Mind/Body connection to the MAX, allowing all levels of my being to experience a completely new reality. 

I took off my shoes and socks, feeling the cold wet grass beneath my feet. 

Mind 100% on my desired outcome. At this point I couldn't even hear what the crowd was cheering towards me, I had no idea... it felt as if I was in another world, totally focused ahead as I stepped forward and walked bare foot across 4 metres of hot charcoals that lay before me.

Firewalk's* are just one way to help us to use our fear and transform it into strength and power in a situation. Breaking away from the 'I can't do it... I will get burned...' beliefs to 'Wow no burns whatsoever and I didn't feel a thing... if I can do this I can do ANYTHING!'. By actually achieving something that we previously perceived as impossible, we can feel more motivated to continue our journey towards other desired outcomes.

Empowering is an understatement!

If anything it's simply just a way to step out of your comfort zone and realise what you are capable of as solutions, goals and desired outcomes don't tend to reside within our comfort zone... we need to venture out of that comfort circle as this image below demonstrates...

And no, stepping out of our comfort zone doesn't feel necessarily always feel comfortable!
Quite often, it's afterwards when it can feel bloody great, and you often wonder why you feared it so much in the first place.

So that evening near London as my mind was so focused on my desired outcome, it was only until I reached the last step that I suddenly thought to myself 'I don't feel anything' and by that point I was on the grass again ready to celebrate with the rest of the group.

Eager to examine my feet afterwards... I found no burns whatsoever. 

Wow! 

The support I received during that experience, raising my emotional state and choosing to focus 100% on my desired outcome helped to make that move a whole lot easier despite the fears. Quite amazing to feel first hand too how the mind can affect the physical and emotional bodies experience of life in such a powerful way. 

Often people believe that we need to feel ready to do something or that we need to do it when we don't feel fearful anymore... when in reality these types of beliefs actually keep us stuck. Successful, confident people still feel fearful at times... they simply notice the thoughts and emotions and act towards their desired outcome regardless.

"We all feel fear at some point in life, particularly when starting out at something new. Fear is a healthy human emotion, so long as it doesn't cripple other emotions to get in the way of opportunity." Richard Branson

Have you been keeping yourself within your comfort zone recently?

If so, how can you support yourself through that process moving out of your comfort zone and towards your goals and desired outcomes in your life? 

The Firewalk** experience was one of the highlights of 2015 and a wonderful opportunity to remind myself of my capabilities.

A year of transformation and helping to prepare the foundations for 2016.

This time of year I often pick up on subtle energies and I 'feel' the shift energetically for what the theme for the next year will be for me. We often do this consciously too in the form of setting desired outcomes and creating new helpful habits in the form of New Year's Resolutions. 

However you do it, this time of year is a wonderful moment for reflection and transition... letting go of the old, welcoming in the new whatever you want that to be, and realising how far you have come noting the experiences you are grateful for so far. And this doesn't have to involve Firewalk's ;-)

Use this final week to reflect upon your 2015 experiences, and take a moment to consider this...

1) What TRANSFORMED for you in 2015 that you are most grateful for? 

No matter how big or small. Simply by being more aware of a new side of you, or picking up a new skill can be a wonderful change. As you consider how things have evolved, notice the feelings that triggers knowing all the wonderful new experiences  that you can welcome NOW thanks to that shift.

Also...

2) What is continuing to TRANSFORM at the moment as you go into the New Year? 

If there something you currently feel in the middle of ask yourself if there is anything that can help you through the experience. For example; support from a loved one, finding out how others may have completed a similar journey, a loving, comforting practice such as the Inner Light Visualisation or more.

And finally...

3) What would you like to TRANSFORM in 2016 and how can you help that to become a reality? 

Want to improve an area in your life or learn a new skill? Set the date in 2016 when you will start doing that. Writing things down and holding yourself accountable is a powerful step to success.

Now, I'd love to hear from you! 

Using the comment section below, what is your answer to transformation question number 3?  What will 2016 be about for you?  

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this blog post on facebook, twitter or by email and offer a helping hand this season. 

Until next time, wishing you a fabulous end to 2015... let's make 2016 the best year yet!

EXTRA: Want to be the first to receive these posts plus extra bonus information that I only send by email? Sign up to my monthly newsletter here and receive a FREE Guided Visualisation mp3 to boost Self-Esteem. 


* To be carried out ONLY under supervision of trained Firewalk instructors! 
** Photos to follow when I receive them from the SUPER POWER SCHOOL event organisers.

One Common, Forgotten Key To Manifesting What You Want

'Think big'

'Skies the limit' 

'Don't hold back'

...how often do we actually do that? 

How often do we allow ourselves to ask for what we really want?

Maybe you do allow yourself to ask and take action towards goals yet still find yourself in times of struggle and hardship?

I have seen both with myself and clients, that so many of us place ourselves at times, in these containers of 'I don't deserve it', 'I'm not good enough', 'don't be greedy' etc. Believing that if we are happy, successful and receive wonderful things then that's often considered as a threat to others. Now that's an unhappy belief to hold onto! 

What if we were to change things and start allowing ourselves to receive those gifts? If we allow ourselves to experience happiness then we naturally radiate that others, helping the world to be a brighter place.

I was reminded of this on a recent holiday to Menorca. I emailed the reception staff before travelling to check if I could have two single beds, for myself and my friend who was joining me in the studio flat I reserved. I thought, "you know what I really would love? Is a studio flat with a sea view and a terrace too. Why not?" I considered it for a moment as I heard the dialogue starting in my mind "You can't ask for all of that, it's too much, you're just being greedy, you're already requesting a change of the beds blah blah blah." I observed the thoughts and then let them go proceeding to request what I wanted regardless, ceasing to listen to the limiting beliefs further. 

[Before I continue, I'd like to add that everyone has moments of doubt and negative self talk at some point in their lives (yes even NLP coaches!). I point this out to let you know that it's OK. It's what makes us human. Be kind to yourself, as it's what we do with these thoughts that really count. The less we focus on these doubts and detach from the negative stories we tell ourselves, the less they will have an impact on our lives.]

Later that day I received a response, saying that all the studio flats were on the ground floor with no sea views and no terrace so the extra requests were not possible. "Fair enough" I thought, "Even though it would be really nice (and I believe I deserve it!)... I'll let it go." 

When I arrived to check in, despite my initial booking all the studios were unavailable as they accidentally double booked themselves the last minute. 

This resulted in receiving a completely free upgrade to a 3 bedroom flat with sea views and a terrace. 

Result!!

Would I have still received that if I hadn't emailed that request? Who knows. 

However, I am sure that by...

• Allowing myself to request that and put the message out there regardless
• Being open to receiving what I wanted (i.e. believing that I deserved it) 
• AND most importantly letting go of the 'how' and fearful attachments to the results

...helped to bring that into reality (more on how we create our reality here). 

When manifesting/goal setting if we are constantly stuck in a place of doubt, fear, 'I don't deserve it' mentality... even whilst taking action towards our goals, that's often when the struggles and set backs come into play. It's not to say everything will be completely 100% plain sailing if we don't. Just that by asking, believing and letting go of the reins of attachment it can help to make the ride a whole lot smoother. 

Next time you catch yourself wanting something and hearing that Gremlin in the back of your head with all the excuses, limiting beliefs and fears...take a moment and STOP.

1. Briefly observe the doubts and let them go by changing your focus back what you want - not what you don't want or the fears surrounding it. (More info on how to remove persistent limiting beliefs here)
2. Feel how good it could be to have that as you visualise it (Make it sensory based noting what you'll see, hear and feel)
3. Put the message out there by taking action. Bite-size, actionable steps to move towards that desired outcome.
4. Then, change your focus back 100% to whatever you were doing previously in the present moment. This helps to let go of attachment to fears and doubts and surrender to the flow of true manifestation. 

I often find the last step is the most powerful as it helps to release attachment and stop entertaining the fears and doubts. If these are left to linger within our focus they can reverse the whole manifestation process. This is the hidden key that most people forget about. Bringing our attention back to the present moment.

Try it. 

Notice what changes as you use that hidden key whenever you wish for something. Using the comments below share what you would love to receive in the next month and observe what thoughts come up. If you notice any 'I don't deserve it' beliefs, challenge them and state positive phrases to break that down such as 'I am choosing to deserve it' or 'With every breath I take my self worth grows stronger and stronger'. Then following the steps above notice what happens. 

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this post and offer a helping hand.

Until next time, happy manifesting ;-)

EXTRA: Want to be the first to receive these posts plus extra bonus information that I only send by email? Sign up to my monthly newsletter here and receive a FREE Guided Visualisation mp3 to boost Self-Esteem.

How To Let Go Of Excess Emotional Baggage

Emotions are funny things aren't they? 

Catching us off guard and making us say things we don't want to say or do what we don't want to do. Common belief is that things just happen to us...we have no control over life and how we feel - now that's a powerless position to put ourselves in! And a scary one too, never knowing what's around the corner or if we'd be able to handle it.

Can we really control our emotions? 

Good news. The answer is YES! How we experience life is much to do with what is going on in our 'control tower' - our brain! The thoughts and images that we choose to focus on in our mind all have a meaning that we attach to it. For each person the meanings are different - we each have our own 'map of the world' or 'pair of glasses' if you like and its by focusing on these meanings, thoughts and beliefs that we have the control of creating lighter or heavier emotional states. It's up to us. 

Not easy, I know.

I certainly have my moments too. The magic part though is being aware and accepting responsibility which can bring a HUGE sense of freedom. We have a choice, we can mope around all day and point the finger elsewhere (easy to do!) or we can accept that the quickest way things will change is by doing something about it and to start changing our focus (more effort at first but oh so more rewarding!).  

So when you next catch yourself starting to feel sad, angry or frustrated...trace back your thoughts and notice where your focus was. Quite often you'll notice negative thoughts such as 'its not working, I cant do anything right' or 'he hasn't replied, he's lost interest in me'...hmmm not so uplifting thoughts eh? 

No wonder we feel rubbish afterwards!

So how can we let go of the emotional baggage if we find ourselves swimming in heavy emotions? 


1) Openness & Loving Awareness: Being open to consider a different perspective, noticing how we feel and tracing back our thoughts to find the root cause. Notice the word 'loving' here. This is not about beating ourselves up again for having a negative thought in the first place...simply be curious and notice.

2) Re-framing: Challenge your thoughts and beliefs and re-frame the situation. Is it really that 'he's lost interest'? Or perhaps he's had a challenging day?

3) Creative Release: If you still feel some of that emotion you wish to let go of, find a creative outlet to release it whether be that through dance, exercise, writing or art etc. I often encourage clients to write what I call the 'I feel...' page if I notice there needs to be more of a release. 

Taking out an A4 piece of paper and repeating and finishing the sentence 'I feel...' until they have completely covered the page. Emotions are like energetic heavy weights if we hold onto them...by writing things down we can let go of some of those weights, allowing the emotions to express their true nature and simply be the 'energy in motion' that they are. Its our constant focus on unhelpful thoughts, judgement and lack of creative release that makes them heavier. Writing the 'I feel...' page followed by screwing up and throwing away the paper can create a huge relief. I also use this technique if ever there is a time I feel the need to let go of excess emotional baggage and it works wonders.

Being an empathetic person myself (yes, its my number one Gallup strength too!) can have its pros and cons. Whilst I often feel what clients are feeling and sense intuitively what needs to be worked on in each moment it can also mean I need to be very loyal to my personal well-being to then ensure I can continue giving the best service possible. Just like when you're travelling by plane and they say 'place your own mask on first before helping others' - because if you don't you simply cannot help others effectively. 


These above tools are fundamental for any empathetic person, or anyone dealing with unpleasant emotions. Try it, notice how much lighter you can feel and let me know what difference you notice in the comments below! Or perhaps you have a technique that works great for you, I'd love to hear your thoughts - feel free to share with everyone in the comments below.

Its through the practice where the real magic happens! 

And finally, do you have friends currently struggling with their emotions? Forward on this post and create pack for a week with your friend, both supporting each other through the 3 step process and discussing the changes that occur...as they say sharing is caring and a helping hand can work wonders. 

Dancing To Success

Yes inspiration and wisdom can sometimes come from the most unexpected sources! I find often its more an attitude; if we are open, receptive and curious we can gain the most valuable insights from what we experience in life. This song below reminds me of my beautiful sister, who was the person that introduced me to my first official 5 Rhythms dance class many years ago. It was from 5 Rhythms that I discovered the power of movement and how it can positively affect our emotions. 

I often talk about the MIND/BODY connection in workshops and meetup practice groups...we know through NLP and many other documented studies over the years that the mind can affect the physical and emotional bodies. What we believe and focus our attention on grows and can alter how we feel both physically and emotionally. 

Don't take my word for it - experience it for yourself! Try focusing the next 15 seconds on a memory where you felt so much excitement, happiness and joy that you were literally jumping for joy and grinning ear to ear. As you breathe into this start to notice what changes with your posture, energy levels and breath etc...your physical and emotional bodies are responding to your thoughts. 

Also through the research of TED speaker Amy Cuddy and many other studies we know that our body can also affect our thoughts and emotions. What postures we hold ourselves in can in turn either create feelings of confidence and high level of self esteem or it can make us feel more introverted and lacking in confidence. Everything is connected. Whether we choose to use this wisdom or not is up to us. 

So if you're starting this year with new goals and you're noticing a few limiting beliefs or fears cropping up, I challenge you this month to use your body alongside other techniques to help propel you to success. 

For example...

You may have the goal to start meditating this year and as you try, you notice limiting beliefs coming up such as 'I cant do it', 'Its boring', 'Its too hard'. 

Challenge those beliefs by finding evidence in your life for the opposite positive belief and/or possible solutions...

'I can do it, I tried a new skill of salsa dancing last year and succeeded'

'There are many different meditation techniques out there, I'll find something fun or an app to get me started'

'If its so hard why are so many people doing it? What will make it easier for me?'

Alongside that use your body and literally 'shake off' any fears or doubts. 

By doing something physical, shaking off any unhelpful emotions, you can then help your mind to 'shake off' the fears and beliefs. Scientifically speaking, the exercise will help raise your levels of Serotonin, Endorphins and Dopamine (the feel good hormones) which in turn help you to feel better about yourself and starting a new goal. It will literally be that kick start to get you going. Not only that, it can also help you to bounce back easily with kindness for yourself if ever you get lost along the way. 

The MIND/BODY connection is a wonderful thing. Next time you you feel resistance, fear, doubts, or anger about a challenge/upsetting situation, use this connection to your advantage. Notice what shifts with your thoughts, emotions and physical body as you do this. 

You don't even need to go to a dance class. Its not about constraining ourselves by learning specific steps*...its about letting go...dancing from within as if no one is watching. And for that, all you need is your body...and maybe a few funky beats ;-)

Try it this month, shake off the fears, shake off the frustration and shake into the success you desire. 

See you on the dance floor! 

*Depending on the type of dance obviously!

Removing Self Critcism

Beliefs about ourselves can affect the life we experience. Not only can these Limiting Beliefs lower our confidence and self esteem, they can also filter our reality so we only experience a life that matches beliefs we store at an unconscious level.

Maybe you notice at times a critical voice inside saying 'I can't do that because...' 'I can't have that because...' 'I can't be that because...'

Sometimes these beliefs can be hidden too, we go about our life working towards a goal and on a unconscious level self sabotage our efforts...all because deep down there is a limiting belief.

Hidden Limiting Beliefs can be found in many different ways, one simple way to start is by stating in the present tense that you have/are whatever you were working towards - as if you have achieved it already. Notice what thoughts come up after...quite often a limiting belief can pop up.


Wouldn't it be great to let go of this self criticism?


On the 19th of July I will be explaining how to...

1) UNCOVER hidden limiting beliefs; find out what is really holding you back.

2) LOOSEN limiting beliefs using specific NLP Language Patterns for both yourself and others.

3) REMOVE Limiting Beliefs using simple yet effective NLP exercises and start believing you CAN achieve your desired outcome.

More information can be found here


If you are not part of meetup.com and wish to attend simply email info@emmabradford.net and I can reserve you a place.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

Less Correcting and More Connecting

I was at work tidying away the boxes of tea and noticed a phrase on the tea bag label of a well known herbal tea company. 

This phrase made me stop and think when I came across it. Not only because its something that I have worked on personally in the past, it is also something that I have found quite common among people I have encountered throughout my life so far.

Do less correcting and more connecting

When we correct ourselves from an area of judgement we disconnect from our true self, become stuck in a state of fear and limiting beliefs of 'I'm not good enough' = loosing the connection

When we correct others through judgements we build up a wall between them and us = loosing the connection.

What is important here is to acknowledge what we mean by correction. It may seem hypocritical for some for a NLP Coach to say not to correct to ourselves and improve areas of our life. It depends what you mean by correcting. Personally, NLP is about remembering who we are and our great capabilities. So whilst it may feel that we are correcting (improving) ourselves, what we are really doing is remembering our true selves before we piled on the limiting beliefs and self sabotaging behaviours.

So the real issue here is... are we correcting (improving) areas of our self from a place of love, releasing what no longer benefits us or are we correcting (judging) from a place of fear?

Correcting out of judgement can break connections. If we continue to judge others and ourselves we just drift further away from the connection we desire. Note that writing this doesn't mean I am perfect either, its through my many mistakes and challenges and a couple of successes that I feel I can talk about topics such as this.

When we accept all of our imperfections, continuing to improve what no longer works for us we connect to our core, our true self = more connection

When we accept others as they are whilst maintaining respect and value for ourselves, we build a stronger connection between us = more connection

This does not mean to say that you need to accept hurtful or harmful behaviour from others by not ´correcting´ them. You can still connect in a loving relationship or friendship whilst being a high value person. High value, meaning that you acknowledge your needs and desires whilst cooperating with the other, accepting their map of the world too and finding a solution that works for the highest good of everyone.

Good Vibrations Barcelona - I Trust you, Do You Trust Me Social Experiment www.facebook.com/goodvibrationsbarcelona

Correcting (improving) to then remember our true self and our capabilities can enhance connection

Correcting out of judgement and fear can move us further away from ourselves and harm connections with others

By noticing judgements that come up in day to day life we can question ourselves what may be behind that initial judgement and acknowledge that from a place of love.


Are we fearful about what others may think?

Are we so scared of rejection that we reject others first?


Are we continuing to find faults in ourselves so to confirm the ´Im not good enough´ limiting belief and remain in our comfort zone? For some to release this is more scary than the affect of the belief itself. For some succeeding can be frightening as it questions all the limitations we had previously believed and it brings unknown experiences.


When do you feel most connected to yourself and others?

How can you increase these connections on a daily/weekly basis?

What is NLP?

Neuro Linguistic Programming can sound like a bit of a mouthful at times. 

Each practitioner has their own way of describing what is with some calling it both an Art and a Science and others explaining it as a way to achieve excellence in your life. I usually use the following description...

NLP is a tool to understand unhelpful patterns we may be creating unconsciously in our lives. To enhance or alter our patterns of thought, behaviour and emotion so to become the best version of ourselves. 

It's like we have a DIY toolkit for life.

I don't see it as becoming a completely new person (although it can feel that way sometimes!)... its more about uncovering the layers of limiting beliefs and emotional baggage we may have picked up along the way, uncovering the real you beneath. Its about remembering our strengths and capabilities which on an super conscious level we have always known and realising this both on a conscious and unconscious level.

Since the beginning of time, aspects of NLP is something that some people have used without realising it however it really came to light in the 1970s through the pioneering work of Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Everybody has the skills and the ability to achieve their desired outcome, however sometimes we can become a little lost along the way which is when the guidance of a friend, family member, doctor or practitioner can help during difficult situations

In short:

Neuro is to do with how we process information internally from our senses to our brain
Linguistic is to do with how we use language to communicate to others as well as ourselves
Programming is to do with our internal strategies we use in order to achieve outcomes.

Through the use of visualisations, goal setting techniques, creating triggers to recall positive emotions and much more, NLP can be a very practical, useful and life changing tool. More than anything its a way to re-frame events, helping us to see things from another perspective and no longer having the same painful emotional charge as before.

Notice how great it would be to go through life understanding yourself a little better, being able to create happy emotions whenever you need to and letting go of past hurts and negative thoughts about yourself!

That's not to say people cant achieve this without NLP, of course they can, there are many useful techniques out there. However NLP can help many people kick start the process and find the balance, great health and happiness that they desire in a very quick and efficient way.

One of my favourite quotes is that of Henry Ford...

"If you always do what you've done, you'll always get what you've got"

If we want to achieve something in our life that we have never had before, we need to do something different. If we havent got it at the moment then there is obviously something that is preventing you from having it whether be it a belief about ourselves beliefs about the world, self sabotaging behaviour or a limiting perspective on the situation. By understanding ourselves, our thoughts and beliefs, and then installing positive behaviours and beliefs we can then start to experience the life we want to experience.

Simple, powerful, effective.