How To Navigate Challenging Times... The Difference That Makes The Difference

A friend asked once... "how do we navigate difficult times?" 

How do we get through it? 

What helps, what doesn't? 

Whilst in the past I would of replied 'I'm fine', keeping things fairly surface level if something challenging arose, brushing everything under the carpet. Nowadays I find myself sharing more, opening more.

'CONNECT' is my answer.

Whether that's connecting with ourselves, with others, with nature, with universal energy... it all can provide immense support and healing. 

This is constructive comfort, as I call it. Rather than searching for the full tub of ice cream solely to numb how we feel on a regular basis. 

In practice... 

This summer a family member passed on, transitioned into the next realm, no longer in the physical yet the energy lives on... even if some say that's simply within our memories and hearts. 

Whilst this family member was old and lived a long life, I felt the empty gap and sadness as I started to adjust to new family life, and the need to connect as I navigated this precious time. 

I sent a message to a few local friends, explaining that during the next few months I'd like to connect more, especially during the times I would have usually seen that family member in the past. Not out of distraction or to avoid the sadness I felt, though as a form of support as I get used to new family life and experience the emotions that arise. 

"This is how we find the light in darker times" I said to them as I shared how I felt.

CONNECTION. 

It's using the difficult times as a reminder to connect at all the levels we feel necessary. 

Click To Tweet: "Want connection? Create Connection" Emma Bradford

If we're navigating a challenging time...

Sometimes we may want alone time. If this is the case we can find the light during these moments by creating space to connect with ourselves and nature. A moment to observe, reflect, and simply be. 

Just like the beauty that can be experienced when we observe the night sky. It's dark yet can still be incredibly beautiful when witnessed. 

And sometimes we may want additional support too. If this is the case we can find the light during challenging moments by reaching out, connecting with loved ones. 

By creating connection, at whatever level we choose, can help us navigate through these moments helping us to find the gifts in them. CONNECTION is the LIGHT that darker times offers us. It's an invitation. Helping us realise that the darkness at its core is actually made of light too. 

It just needs us to flick the switch on.

To create connection, in whatever way feels right for us... to be that navigating light during difficult times.

It's our choice. 

What helps you navigate challenging times? Let me know in the comment section below. 

Have a friend going through a difficult time? Offer a helping hand and share this post. 

Want more? Full details on trainings, workshops, coaching, audios and more on my website.

The Forgotten Side Of Spirituality In Life... And How to Experience Deeper Fulfillment

Two elements.

How do we find a balance between the following... and do we really need this balance?

When our focus is split between physical life and spiritual life (and I'm not specifically talking about organised religion here, I'm talking about our deeper, personal beliefs about LIFE whatever that may be for us) sometimes we're missing the beauty and magic from the two combined together.

Whatever our beliefs are, it seems human beings regardless of gender, age, race have often found reassurance in some sort of belief about our life experience. Whether we don't believe in a higher force or we do, whatever spectrum we may associate ourselves with and anywhere in between... our beliefs have often given us a sense of security and comfort.

Many connect with the understanding that within everything is energy, vibrating particles. This has been proved time and time again by scientists. We  have electromagnetic fields. Everything from the food we consume, objects that surround us all have vibrating particles in variations. Solids vibrate slower, so we can actually touch them. Liquids, vibrate more quickly making the liquid form that we see. And gases vibrate even quicker, so quick that we often cannot see them.

Regardless of speed and form... the energy remains.

This energy, some call consciousness. There is this universal loving energy that gives life. 

Something I've noticed in the self awareness industry is that sometimes we can move so far away from the physical realm focusing too much on the Spiritual side of things that we forget why we're here. At least why I feel we're here... some could argue this is simply my perception!

Let's look at what we call ourselves... 'Human beings'. 

Human + Being. 

We are not just a physical body, we are the energy, spirit and breath that fills it and animates it. When someone dies, their physical body still remains a short while, it's the breath, the life force that has moved on. Also we are not just an energetic being floating around, we have a physical body grounding us into this human experience. 

Whatever the reasons are why we're here, and who we really are... I guess we'll find out in detail one day. At the moment, what many of us have are different elements of this whole truth.

"Truth is a sphere" as my NLP Trainer, would often say.

Perhaps we're not here to solely focus on the physical side of life, there's something more. And... perhaps we're not here to ignore the physical experiences of life too.

It's the two together. Hand in hand. Human + Being.

Click To Tweet: "Human Beings = Human + Being. Acknowledge both parts and notice what transforms" Emma Bradford

To remember our spiritual (energetic) nature whilst making the most of this human physical experience we call life - to really experience sensations, physical experiences and pleasures, especially with our physical body. Often there can be the misconception that to be focused on material aspects in life is 'shallow' or not 'spiritual'. Doesn't sound like a very spiritually, loving belief to me.

We're here in a physical body with material aspects around us for a reason. For the experience of it and to really enjoy it in all it's colours and shades on offer.

At the same time, being solely focused on the physical side, ignoring or dismissing any belief in something else (whether that's simply energy from a scientific point of view or a Soul, Spirit, consciousness, higher force etc) often can leave us searching for more whether we're conscious of it or not.

Unsatisfied with life. Unfulfilled. Something missing.

When we combine the two, in whatever way that resonates for us we can experience even more fulfilment in life.

Acknowledging our physical body and physical experience whilst remembering what lies deeper within ourselves and others - an energy, a Soul.

To ignore the pleasures our physical experience can bring some would say is to ignore a fundamental part of spirituality. Meditating all day long does not make us more spiritual than others. Tapping into the simple sensations and pleasures our senses and body allow us to experience can be a magical and spiritual part of life.

And to ignore the wisdom and understanding deeper within ourselves, others and life is to ignore a vital part that many of us search for too.

It's seeing the bigger picture, whilst enjoying the details too.

Both, hand in hand.

Try this...

What are you grateful for in your physical experience right now? What sensations do you notice? Feel into it.

Experiencing this, what does this teach you about life? What deeper messages lie within? And if you're not sure, if you were to know... what do you think you'd discover? 

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How To Gain True Life Satisfaction

Life. 

Duality. 

I was reminded of this a few weeks back, celebrating the success of my recent NLP Graduate students - what an awesome group! And the same week hearing news of a friend that unexpectedly passed away. 

On one hand I wanted to jump for joy and celebrate the success of my students... on the other I wanted to cry, grieve - shocked at the sudden news of my friend. 

It was a BIG reminder on how valuable life is, and how we can take it for granted. 

Hours passing by scrolling Facebook or taking the 100th photo for the perfect Instagram selfie. I read a post once by Karly Nimmo who has a two shot rule. She won't take more than two photos - and then one of those gets posted. 

Or perhaps we binge eat, binge watch Netflix, use alcohol or smoking to disconnect from pain we may be feeling.

If endless social media or another vice really fulfills us deeply then by all means we can continue as long as it doesn't harm our health. More often than not it doesn't fulfill us in the long term - if we're really honest with ourselves, we're looking for something else deep down. 

Love, belonging, connection, acceptance, excitement, variety, significance... the list goes on.

It's when we move through challenges, finding insights and learning from those moments that we transform the need to stick a 'Netflix plaster' over how we feel. 

There can be ups and downs. 

Life can bring moments of joy and love... and moments of anger and grief. Much of how we experience things is to do with what stories we tell ourselves about things. Whether we're conscious of this or not. Our thoughts & beliefs create the frustration, struggle, stress and more. Sometimes we may not want to acknowledge this, because when we do we can't point the finger anymore. We're responsible. 

For our life.

How we choose to live it. 

Whilst we may not be able to directly change all circumstances in the world and other peoples behaviour. One of our greatest gifts in life is that we have the gift of choice. Choice on what actions we take or don't take. How we choose to respond to things and see situations. 

And this needn't mean an overwhelming list of do's and don'ts, feeling angry with ourselves if we are triggered yet again by a particular person or situation. Or feeling pressure to create big changes out of fear, setting goals looking for perfection as we believe it will bring a sense of belonging, rather than out of love for ourselves and our future.

Choice can simply mean choosing to make most of the simple little things. To really LIVE this life we are living in this human experience. 

For example...

• Stepping outside and breathing deeply rather than take our freedom to do this as granted.
• Observing the beauty of a flower rather than hurriedly pass it by.
• Closing our eyes and feeling the sunshine on our skin rather than think about endless to do lists.
• Hearing the sounds that surround us as individual sounds of a larger orchestra rather than noise.
• Noticing what we say to our self when we reconnect to the beauty of life in this way rather than beat ourselves up.

The list is endless. 

There are many options and choices available. 

Let's start with small, micro actions and experiences. It can be the small and simple things that often are the most powerful and beneficial.

I wonder... how many valuable things can we experience today?

Now I'd love to hear from you: What little blessing do you notice right now in your experience? Let me know in the comment section below. And join us in the online community.

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And if you want more information on trainings and how you can transform your life experience using NLP with heart - check out the latest trainings here.

Emotions Uncovered: The Hidden Benefits of Anger, Sadness & Fear

Emotions. 

Painful? Uplifting? Two sides of the same coin.

There are many different shades of anger... deep, red hot rage to a light red/pink hue of mild irritation. A rainbow of emotions within the human experience, and only experiencing the sunny yellow of joy doesn't allow us to experience the full rainbow. 

As with day and night... if we continuously experience daylight, wouldn’t it get a bit boring? Notice how after a cold, dark, wet winter, spring arrives with more light and warmth. Feels good right? 

We truly appreciate the light when we've experienced darkness too. 

To appreciate the wonderful nature of joy and happiness, we also need to understand what sadness and grief feels like. Doesn't mean we need to wallow in self-pity and grief for days and weeks. It simply means when an emotion arises - acknowledge it, feel it, learn from it and then let it go.  

All emotions are valid. This goes for ourselves too... all parts are valid.  

Click to Tweet: "Only accepting the lighter side of ourselves doesn't bring wholehearted self-acceptance. The shadow needs acknowledging too" Emma Bradford

Emotions (Energy in MOTION) are messengers giving us an invitation. Presenting a door that leads onto something else. If we decide to suppress, ignore, avoid certain emotions it's as if we keep the door closed unable to connect to the wonderful experience on the other side.

We miss out.

Often what prevents us to fully embrace emotions are our beliefs about them from past events. If we believe that crying our sadness or expressing anger is 'wrong' then whenever we feel sadness or anger we'll want to avoid or suppress it. 

It's not the emotion itself... it's the meanings we've attached to them from past experiences.

Afraid of what others might think - fear of showing our vulnerable side in case we're rejected. Vulnerability actually creates deeper bonds. 

Afraid of how it may feel - as we've attached a meaning that __x__ emotion always = pain. As a society we often search for instant pleasure rather than long term happiness. There's a difference between the two and often it's the latter that we really want even if we don't realise it. Searching for instant pleasure and avoiding certain emotions in the process won't bring us long term happiness. 

By opening ourselves to emotions, we open ourselves up to a whole world of experiences and insights. Emotions invite us to experience something else completely different and wonderful in and beyond them. 

Anger can lead to...

• Passion... creative fuel for new projects, missions and new rights.
• Self-esteem... by teaching us about our boundaries, our value and lead us to greater self-worth if we choose to observe the messages and act accordingly.
• Motivation... to create change.
• Etc..

Sadness can lead to...

• Understanding... of what we're experiencing.
• Gratitude... for what we had and have and to fully appreciate the uplifting times. Any sadness I've experienced, acted among many things as a reminder to appreciate what I have and become more present. To truly appreciate the wonderful joys that life has to offer that we can easily take for granted or miss in daily life.
• Connection... with others when we open up and share how we feel. The film 'Inside Out' is a wonderful example of this.
• Etc...

Fear can lead to...

• Courage... to feel the fear and do what we want anyway, recognising how brave we can be.
• Safety... so we can get ourselves out of risky situations if need be.
• Awareness... recognising our priorities and increasing our focus.
• Etc...

In other words it's not the hammer, it's the intention and action we choose to do with the hammer that's important. 

For too long certain emotions have been given a bad reputation, seen as something to be avoided whereas it's simply HOW we express them that's key. Expressing anger by dancing or painting how we feel is very different to punching someone in the face and spreading the anger further. The first transforms the energy, the second multiplies it.

So if anger (for example) isn't 'bad' why do we need to transform it? 

When we remain stuck and attached to certain emotions we interrupt the flow and they can build up within. A mild irritation at first may later become red hot rage if we don't see it for what it is, learn from it and express it in a healthy and productive way from the beginning. Plus I think most of us can agree that a little more peace, love and healing on this planet could be somewhat helpful!

It´s finding a balance, allowing ourselves to go with the flow, without remaining stuck to heavier emotions for too long. That's where NLP and the many other useful techniques and practices out there come in handy. Remaining stuck in certain emotional states can keep us demotivated, dis-empowered and affect our health.

Notice I use the word heavier instead of negative. If we label and judge certain emotions as negative, the more we interrupt the flow. Heavier emotions are the ones where we want to contract and withdraw... lighter emotions are the ones where we feel expansive and open.

By ignoring the knocking on the door of an emotion we miss the insight and gift... and it will only come back louder and stronger another time. 

As they say... what we resist, persists!

If we're learning something through the experience of an emotion can we really label that emotion as negative? Surely gaining new insights can be a wonderful thing, right?

So I wonder... what really lies beyond that door.

I'd love to hear from you, if you're experiencing a particular emotion what is it inviting you to connect with right now? What door is being presented to you? Let me know in the comment section below.

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This Could Be The Most Powerful Thing You Do...

'Nothing will change so why bother'

'There's no point even trying'

Have you thought either of these in your life before? I certainly have, and I know many of my clients have too. 

It can feel pretty awful seeing the disheartening news stories, fear based marketing and manipulative tactics out there. Being an entrepreneur I've seen the in's and out's of what goes on in the coaching world... paid likes, sneaky social media tactics, fear based marketing pointing out why people are so flawed they need to buy the product... the list goes on.

To be honest I felt sick to my stomach with some of the things I saw and heard in the last few years. I felt ashamed and embarrassed to be part of what I saw at the time, a manipulative industry.

I felt like giving up. 

Starting anew. Changing career despite loving what I do and hearing gratitude and thanks from clients.

I realised that whilst this was all going on, I was simply seeing so much of it because I was focused on it. The grass is greener where we water it! I opened my perspective and realised that there are also so many wholehearted, authentic coaches that offer valuable support without actively promoting the 'you're broken' message.

By shying away, avoiding the industry all together, wasn't going to bring more light and change things. If I did, it would be one less person creating a positive change in an industry that needs it. If I gave up... using other people's negative behaviour as a reason to quit, I'd be running away from the shadow side of the industry and playing the victim.

And that's not what I teach.

Click to Tweet: "Matching fear with fear, does not create love" Emma Bradford

Running away from what we find challenging doesn't change things. By running away or ignoring things it's as if we've given others (or the issue) permission to continue growing and growing. And this is applicable to everything... what we see in society, aspects about ourselves, issues in relationships... everything we find a challenge. 

Those of you who have been following my work for a while will know I talk a lot about light and shadow. This metaphor is the basis of what I teach - Wholehearted NLP. Using NLP with heart for the highest good of ourselves and others, to uncover the gifts and messages of the shadow (the parts we don't like) so we can reconnect to our light (our true essence). 

Light and shadow is within everything. You probably have heard of Yin and Yang right? Opposing energy forces. If you look at the image below you can see how connected the two forces are. We cannot have one without the other. Where there's night also comes day... when we can experience hot we can also experience cold.

Also notice that within the shadow side there is a little bit of light too. 

This light within the shadow can come in the form of gifts, insights, meaning, connection and support all of which can be found during challenging times and situations... if we dare to open up to it and face the shadow. I've come to realise that it's not one or the other. It's both. hand in hand. Light and shadow together that invite us to fully embrace, learn from and appreciate this human experience we call life. 

The light comforts, reminds us of our immense strength and supports us as we shine light on the shadow to uncover the insights.

The shadow provides gifts, deep insights and supports us to fully appreciate the light. 

Gaining Clarity...

1) INTERNAL: If we use this metaphor to look at ourselves... embracing both the parts we like (light) and the parts we don't (shadow) this can bring true wholehearted self-acceptance. Let's use our strengths to help us overcome what we find challenging within. 

2) EXTERNAL: If we use this metaphor to take positive action (light) regarding the horrors (shadow) we see in society... this is what starts to create more peace. Let's use positive behaviours and actions to create new projects, communities and experiences that support and generate wonderful change in the parts where the shadow is prevalent. 

Actionable Steps...

1) INTERNAL: What's your top strength? How can you use that to start transforming (even if it's simply transforming by perspective) a part of yourself you don't like? For example... my creativity is one of my strengths and this plays a key role in helping me express painful emotions from my shadow. 

2) EXTERNAL: One, simple act of kindness has the ability to completely transform someone's day. The receiver can feel wonderful and often feels inclined to spread it out further... creating a ripple effect. What simple act of kindness can you do today? For example... helping someone up the stairs with their suitcase or simply a smile as you go about your day.

The big changes in the world are calling us to take a good look within and outside of ourselves. To finally face whats been lurking in the shadow for a long time, whether that's personal fears or racism, hatred and inequality in society. We cannot destroy something with the same thinking that created it. Matching fear with fear does not create love. Time is calling us to look at the shadow head on, shine our light on it, find the gifts IN it and use those gifts to create positive change. 

It's up to us. 

Let's use what we don't like as fuel for creating loving change rather than running away and blaming. Let's be empowered rather than victims. 

It's time for change. 

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How One Post-It Note Propelled Me Into Change...

It's of the biggest lessons I've learnt in life.

That no matter how bleak a situation may seem. There is always one thing that remains.

Choice. There are many options in life and often we forget how many are available to us. Not only that, also we're the ones in control whether we're aware or not. 

NLP has been a loving 'kick up the backside' and reminder for me many times whenever I've felt like a victim. And yes being a victim is more common than we think...

Finding every excuse and reason why...

• We can't do something - even though we know we'd benefit by doing it.
• We need to hold onto a problem, remaining focused on the problem not open to considering different perspectives.
• We're not to blame and the other person or outside force is and they have inflicted us (this includes blaming the government for how we feel!)
• We need to hold onto a grudge... even if it's something from years ago (move on, for your sake and if you need help letting go check out this previous blog post). 
• We need sympathy from others believing that life always throws us the worst.
• Everyone else is better than us or has what we want and lack.
• We don't deserve good things, yet other people do.
• We always have such bad luck or always fall ill. 
• We need to use the phrases 'If only I had done___x, y, z___' - self blame is also being a victim!
• And much more...

So how does NLP shake us out of this? 

If we create our emotions through our thoughts, behaviour, lifestyle etc then nobody can force us to feel a certain way. It may feel like they can, though we are the ones attaching meaning to that situation and influencing how we feel no matter how uncomfortable that might be to hear. 

And if we're creating how we feel surely we can create a different response right? 

Yes! And this is where NLP (or any other method that works with the unconscious mind) comes in handy. It helps us to let go of emotional triggers and consciously create how we wish to feel.

First, let's be clear...

To have the occasional moan means we're human. No need to beat ourselves up. Though to remain stuck in a victim mentality, using any of the above list on a regular basis keeps us dis-empowered, stuck and in a state of lack and fear. 

Not to mention pretty miserable. 

The easy option is to blame. The happier option is to accept personal responsibility for our life and empower ourselves into the life we desire. If we desire change we need to take inspired action and influence what we can... ourselves and how we respond to things. 

One thing that can help is observing what we're really looking for. Our behaviour is a clear indication of what is going on unconsciously - some say our unconscious mind controls more than 95% of our behaviour! By observing our behaviour we can gain an idea of what our unconscious wants. Quite often with victim behaviour, it's a desire to feel loved with a sense of belonging. If you catch yourself doing any of the above behaviours ask yourself this...

1) What am I really looking for? 

2) And how can I generate some of this myself? 

For example, if we're looking for love, we can find ways to connect to that feeling rather than expecting others on a daily basis to generate that for us. Because that's how we experience love - it's a feeling and there are many ways to create how you feel. Loving words, thoughts, sights, sounds, smells, environments etc that don't solely depend on other people. 

Click To Tweet: "The easy option is to blame, the happier option is to create a change" Emma Bradford

Try this... 

In the past if I wanted to make changes, bring something new into my life and felt resistance cropping up... I would write the following words on a post-it note and place it somewhere I could see it everyday.

Option 1: Stay the same 

Option 2: Make a change

That reminder, noticing what life would be like if I remained the in the same situation for years and years, along with removing any necessary limiting beliefs and inner conflicts, meant desired experiences were a lot easier to bring into my life. 

And when I say make a change, it's about aligning ourselves with our authentic self, so we can receive what we truly desire, re-framing situations so they no longer bother us and seeing things from another perspective. 

When we remove limiting beliefs its as if the glasses we wear become a little sharper, a few scratches removed so we can see things with a clearer perspective. It's about remembering who we truly are, letting go of all the false beliefs of 'not being good enough' we may have picked up along the way.

Because you are, absolutely good enough, without a doubt to experience the life you desire.

Use this as a reminder.

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If you'd like more support in removing unconscious blocks and letting go of those emotional triggers contact me on info@emmabradford.net for 1:1 empowerment sessions - available worldwide. 

Also last chance for the EXCLUSIVE transformational Menorca retreat 26-28th May 2017. Closing date 15th April! More info here. 

Inner Critic: The Most Common Mistake & How To Avoid It

I thought it was about time I wrote this. 

Seeing it's something I've talked about a lot during workshops. It's also one of the most common 'diseases' out there. And yes I've suffered from it too.

'I can't do it' 

'I'm ugly/stupid/fat etc'

'I'm not good enough'

Seriously... I don't know a single human being that hasn't thought one of these at some point in their life. Quite often when we do, we assume we're the only person. That somehow everyone else 'out there' is separate from us and we're stuck in a gloomy, lonely dark corner. 

I'll let you into a secret... believe it or not, these limiting thoughts are not coming from you as a whole. You are simply the one listening and hearing these thoughts. You are something so much more if you dare to believe. 

These are coming from what many call the 'Inner Critic'... that part that is scared, fearful, angry and hurt. The part that is holding onto limiting beliefs and fears by a way of protection and comfort however weird that may be.

Though by continuing to believe and act according to these thoughts, will only take us so far.

Quite often when we believe we're not good enough, that we're flawed, we use it as an excuse as to why we can't have something, do something or why we can't enjoy the life we desire. We use it as an excuse to stay within our comfort zone. Believing we must be what we think society views 'perfect' in order to be worthy of something. Funny thing is, perfection is totally a matter of individual preference and perception!

To be worthy of a great job, body or partner does not mean you need to be perfect.

Yet often the negative voice within doesn't take notice of this... and you know one of the reasons why? Because we've been giving attention to what it says as if it's gospel and we haven't cleared away the limiting beliefs within.

Being a perfectionist can have it's drawbacks, especially if we choose to believe the Inner Critic. Good news is, it's not too late for change. 

Thanks to many practical tips I've learnt from NLP, I discovered how to start detaching from my Inner Critic, transforming that voice into my Inner cheerleader whenever I notice it arising. Is it always easy and plain sailing? No. Though what I've learnt along the way has made it so much easier.

You see, this fearful part (the Inner Critic) contrary to popular belief is not something to be shunned, boxed or suppressed. You've probably heard the phrase 'what you resist, persists' right?

It's applicable to to this too. 

Click To Tweet: The Inner Critic is giving you a dare... are you going to believe what it says or pursue what you love regardless? Emma Bradford

I've heard endless times to just 'reject' what the Inner Critic says... I certainly thought that at first too. Whilst this might be partly helpful, it's also a common mistake in how to effectively deal with the Inner Critic during  the long term.

If we solely ignore what it says, certain negative thoughts & beliefs will simply continue to pop up if we don't deal with the root cause. Our Inner Critic is simply repeating fears and limiting beliefs that have been stored unconsciously from a young age. For example, if we learnt 'I'm stupid' when we were young, that may still pop up in the form of our Inner Critic if we don't address the root cause... the first event in which we decided that.

I've gathered a lot of information on this topic both from my professional work and personal life experiences over the years, no doubt it will become a book one day too. There's just too much to include in just this one blog post!

First of all, let me give you 3 simple steps that both my clients and I have found helpful when noticing negative thoughts from the Inner Critic within.

Pay Attention To The 3 L's

1) Listen and observe what the Inner Critic is saying - awareness is key, observe what is being brought to your attention. There is a huge difference between listening & learning compared to listening & believing the negative thoughts.

2) Learn from the Inner Critic - what is it teaching you about your fears? What limiting beliefs are being pointed out that can be let go of now? Where & when did you decide these beliefs originally? How can you view that past event differently now so to let go of the limiting beliefs? 

For example... if you notice the Inner Critic often comments 'I'm lazy, I can never get anything done' dig a little deeper and uncover the root cause using the questions above. If you'd like an extra helping hand, book yourself a 1:1 Empowerment Session with a coach that works with the unconscious mind (details on what I offer HERE). 

3) Connect to what you Love, at a Soul level regardless of what the negative chatter says within - the Inner Critic is an expert at Finding Excuses And Reasons why you can't do something. Notice that by believing and acting on what it says, you simply keep yourself in a state of fear.

Finally know this... there may be good days and challenging days, and when we discover skills to gain insights and detach from the Inner Critic, life can become much easier. 

It's like you suddenly have the handbook and phrases to speak another language if ever the need arises. 

The Inner Critic is not something to reject or 'get rid of completely'. It's something to help us learn and embrace our shadow side, so we can step into an even greater wholehearted way of life layer by layer. And by doing that, notice how life can be so much more insightful and fulfilling. It's there for a reason.

The Inner Critic is one of our greatest teachers... it's simply up to us to recognise that, and utilise it.

Now its your turn... using the comment section below, what's your Inner Critic teaching you right now? I'd love to hear your shares and perhaps your share can help inspire others too.

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I KNOW, I've been there too.

Thanks to many useful, practical tips I learnt through NLP I started detaching from my inner critic, transforming that voice into my inner cheerleader.

If you want to discover more about WHAT I DID and how you can benefit, grab a spot at this special workshop... repeated once more due to popular demand.

My Key To Wholehearted Living

There’s a story behind this stone.

One that taught me more than I could have imagined.

You see, ever since I can remember I’ve been an optimistic person naturally able to re-frame events. I’d be the one drawing a cheeky smiley face for a friend in need, making an extra batch of soup for a heartbroken housemate or helping others see the positive side of things. I felt their pain so strongly and would try with all my might to help them feel better.

Naturally this developed into my profession too.

It’s been one hell of a journey though and I can see looking back how out of balance I was at times. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is allow people to walk their own path in life - even if it means them hitting rock bottom so to desire change and connect with their full potential.

Before I discovered NLP I’d learnt like many to ignore my emotions - a way of survival from a young age. Though in the long term that behaviour was actually doing more harm than good. Thankfully self-awareness skills I discovered, taught me ways to manage how I felt and let go of things at a deep unconscious level to promote healing.

However in the early days of my NLP journey, there was still something out of alignment… I saw myself as something broken, needing ‘fixing’ on a daily basis.

I had an overwhelming list of limiting beliefs and unwanted emotions rising to the surface. Luckily my teacher Jessica Robbins, wisely reminded us “You don’t need to remove every limiting belief, only the ones which stand in the way of achieving a desired outcome”.

Phew! That’s a relief then.

I steadily learnt to be less judgmental of myself, created techniques like the ‘I Feel…’ page (FREE download below) to help acknowledge emotions and release them. I regularly tune into what my body and intuition is communicating to me, listening intently for the next steps to take. However I too need reminders occasionally, as there are always opportunities in life to shed another layer towards a more wholehearted, authentic way of living.

It was my intuition that took me to a National Park in Menorca for a short trip. There I made new connections, welcoming another experience and opportunity for growth. Of course, there were doubts and fears; changes needed to be made to my work schedule, and opening up to new people can be scary after heartbreak. 

It's essential though, that our hearts remain open regardless. 

My profession doesn’t magically remove my Inner Critic forever; I simply intend to connect to what I love on a regular basis, using techniques to ease the process if any fears arise. 

Back home on the beach I watched the waves eating their way across the shore, observing the wet stones glistening in the sand. One caught my attention; it was a beautiful oval, grey, sparkly stone, which reminded me of a dear friend from my recent trip. I bent down to pick it up when a huge wave came, when the wave retreated the stone was gone. Disappointed, I looked around though it was nowhere to be found. Still thinking of that friend, another stone caught my eye. Little did I know then what this beautiful heart shaped stone would truly represent.

Listening to my gut instinct, I took another trip to Menorca a few months later. Eagerly anticipating what adventures lay ahead. For the first time I’d be doing a full test run of working remotely. It was on this recent trip when I began to realise the true meaning of my stone.

At times in my life I was still so far from wholehearted living, only seeing the positive side of things and what needed to change.

I found it super easy to talk about the light.

This will remain a huge part of me I’m sure. It allows me to see and remind clients of their true potential when they’ve lost all hope. Though in the past I saw myself as something that needed ‘fixing’, fearing pain rather than embracing my whole self with love when letting go of what was no longer useful.

Looking at my stone, its meaning clicked. 

It represents the light and dark within everyone. The importance of embracing our whole selves, using this as a foundation to make necessary shifts in our lives with compassion and presence.

Imagine a parent holding their sobbing child... eyes closed, a loving calm breath, whilst embracing the hurt with 100% presence. Later to ask the child, ‘what did you learn here for next time?’ 

This is how we need to embrace hurting parts of ourselves. I knew this concept before, though to experience first-hand my friend in Menorca comforting a child in pain, I understood and valued this at a much deeper level.

The KEY is the intention and perspective we hold when we look within. Choosing out of LOVE for ourselves and our future to make changes, rather than out of fear of feeling pain.

We can either…

A) See problems, ourselves as broken individuals that need fixing, run to techniques or vices out of fear, unwilling to really look within and learn from past experiences, judging ourselves in the process for not being perfect enough.

Or we can…

B)  Embrace ourselves in spite of pain, learn and transform at a deep unconscious level using techniques like NLP* stepping each day closer to embracing our whole self in each moment. Knowing that there may be fear, pain and suffering at times… that's ok. We can experience a huge amount of joy and love when we truly embrace life. If we notice painful beliefs or emotions arising, to have the courage and self-love to fully see and learn from them, choosing to lovingly transform them without judgement if needed.

“I notice ___(observe feelings)___, it's ok, everyone has felt that at some point in their life, wonder what I can learn here?"

We can miss valuable opportunities for growth if we skip straight to ‘this is bad, get rid of the pain’ with a judgmental perspective that we're not perfect enough compared to others. If we don’t fully integrate these insights and heal the belief that we need 'fixing' there’s a chance we may find ourselves repeating the pattern.

Not always easy I know.

It’s human nature to move away from suffering and often we seek comfort from alcohol, food, unhelpful habits etc. Remember these only give us short lived pleasure, when in reality long lasting happiness is desired. And anything less than embracing all parts of ourselves with love isn't being exquisitely human too though, isn't it?

Here I am on a journey, shedding another layer, stepping a little bit closer to wholehearted living. I invite you to join me and many others on this journey.

We’re each at the point in our life that’s perfect for us.

Time to ditch the label ‘we're broken’ and let go of comparisons. If there are bumps along the way may we have the courage to breathe into any pain a little deeper, learn from it a little more and embrace our whole selves, whilst lovingly continuing to grow and make changes if needed.

Now I’d love to hear from you! Comment below what you found most useful from this post and why. 

Have a friend who would be interested too? Offer them a helping hand and share this post.

EXTRA: 'I Feel...' page Download HERE. And for a FREE boost your Self-Esteem pack head on over to my website www.emmabradford.net.

*Or any other method that helps you to heal at an unconscious level removing the root cause with love.