My Wake Up Call... And It's Message

"I'm done conforming" I said to myself.

Following every 'Must Have Steps On How To Reach 6 Figures In Your Coaching Business' never really resonated with me. At times I felt guilty in the past for not taking part as I felt I 'should' be doing it because it was the seen thing to do.

"That's what all coaches do right? Doing __x__ training, __y__ program, __z__ social media tactic... so I need to do that too".

Yet some of it felt forced, rigid and even sneaky... (don't even get me started on Instagram following tactics). So I stepped away and felt set apart at times for doing so. 

You have to post in ____ way, every day.

Have to do __x__, __y__ and __z__ to gain followers  

You have to document all your life on social media stories everyday

Have to... must do... should do... etc.

The list grew longer and longer.

I'm good at being consistent with blog posts, social media updates, online community commitments, meetups, workshops etc. My Taurus determination has got me where I am today. I also noticed this Spring I needed a little more balance, running my business according to what resonates with me only without the guilt. 

A while ago I felt low in energy, having spent years behind a computer working hard to spread the message about Wholehearted NLP and offer support to those seeking it. Carrying the business solo - accounts, publicity, creation, coaching, training, admin... everything... single handed. 

Then I had a wake up call. Life slapped me in the face and brought me to my senses. 

My health was stretched from the pressure I was putting on myself and a friend left the Earthly plane. Success took on a whole new meaning. Talking about this with a dear friend at a house party afterwards... I explained to her how I forgot about the true meaning of success in life and what's truly valuable.

Friends, family and health.

So I postponed all my events for a whole month, looked within and step by step started making necessary changes in my life.

A) RECONNECT TO THE BODY: I reconnected to my senses even more, getting out of my head and into my body. Attending regular yoga classes, dancing more around the house to my favourite music, appreciating my body with gratitude.

B) PRIORITISE VALUES: I started prioritising time with family even more, and catching up with friends because that's something I value. Life is too short not to acknowledge what we value.

C) TIME-OUT TO RELAX: I started taking time out from work, choosing to post social media updates ONLY when I really wanted to and felt I had something worth sharing. 

I love my job, I feel passionate about spreading the message of finding gifts within the shadow and supporting individuals through that. Looking back I can see it was another layer to shed in realigning myself with what resonates in terms of how I manage my work/life balance.

To step a little further out of the rigidity and a little more into the fluidity.

So I decided upon a new work manifesto...

1) To post work based social media updates ONLY when I feel called to share an important message or valuable event. Bringing authenticity even more to the forefront of my work at ALL levels.

This doesn't mean to say to go for months without connecting with my community or that certain tips to gain publicity or out smart social media algorithms are unnecessary or even bad. If we value our community and have a message that can offer service and benefit, being present and learning useful tips can be a smart thing to do so the message actually gets seen. It's about using ONLY what resonates and leaving the rest. Using ONLY what feels authentic to us and letting go of what others may be doing if doesn't speak to us.

2) Listen to my intuition... when I need to step back and say no and when something is calling my attention.

Is it a complete 'yes!'? If not... then most often it's not the best choice for me, my business and clients so I won't go ahead.

3) Prioritise creative, relaxing, regeneration time out from work, as not only does this fuel work successes to come, it also contributes to true success in LIFE.


I share this openly because I feel it's important to keep bursting the bubble that all teachers are perfect and free from challenges - a common misconception, especially in the coaching/NLP world. Yes I've learnt some incredibly useful life changing tools over the years, and yes I've overcome many challenges too. This has helped me really understand clients deeply and guide them to their inner knowing during challenging life situations. Re-frame past events, rewrite the story within their unconscious and reconnect them to their true self within.

And just like any teacher... I'm human too.

A recent trip took me into the depths of the beautiful Cotswold's, in the UK with dear friends. A week away to unwind, laugh and explore. I remember before the trip, someone on social media commenting... "a whole week?! What will your clients do?!" I thought they were joking at first. Turned out they were serious and concerned for my clients well-fare if I was unavailable for a few days.

The old me would of felt guilty taking time out, questioning my actions and perhaps even slotted in a non-urgent hours of work during the trip, even if it could wait.

The new me wasn't having any of it. 

Knowing full well my clients and business were going to benefit so much more by having a re-energised, grounded and centred coach, not to mention allowing me to feel more human again by creating a more harmonious work/life balance. Hey, I even postponed a Facebook live... something I would have never done before as commitment and consistency are BIG for me. Though I knew, deep within I needed a switch off from the online work world. 

And you know what? It worked.

My energy built up with strength and I felt inspiration growing again within. Something I thought was disappearing... in reality it was simply waiting to be found again.

To find MYSELF again.

I felt tired back then because I was disconnected from my energy.

I felt lacking in inspiration back then because I was disconnected from my intuition.

The energy and intuition are within and around us... they ARE us. It's all about reconnecting to OURSELVES. 

Because we are, whether we chose to realise it or not, the staring role in our life. There are no back ups, covers waiting to fill in behind the curtains.

It's us, this life, and our choices.

If you've been feeling tired with life's challenges and commitments recently ask yourself this... who am I living my life for? 

And how do I choose to live it from now on? 

Now I'd love to hear from you! Reflecting on this, what one change do you feel called to make in your life to really embrace and LIVE life fully? And when will you do that? Let me know in the comment section below.

Have a friend needing a gentle nudge forward into fully embracing life? Offer a helping hand and forward this post. 

For more information on Training's, Workshops, Classes & 1:1 Coaching visit www.emmabradford.net 

This Could Be The Most Powerful Thing You Do...

'Nothing will change so why bother'

'There's no point even trying'

Have you thought either of these in your life before? I certainly have, and I know many of my clients have too. 

It can feel pretty awful seeing the disheartening news stories, fear based marketing and manipulative tactics out there. Being an entrepreneur I've seen the in's and out's of what goes on in the coaching world... paid likes, sneaky social media tactics, fear based marketing pointing out why people are so flawed they need to buy the product... the list goes on.

To be honest I felt sick to my stomach with some of the things I saw and heard in the last few years. I felt ashamed and embarrassed to be part of what I saw at the time, a manipulative industry.

I felt like giving up. 

Starting anew. Changing career despite loving what I do and hearing gratitude and thanks from clients.

I realised that whilst this was all going on, I was simply seeing so much of it because I was focused on it. The grass is greener where we water it! I opened my perspective and realised that there are also so many wholehearted, authentic coaches that offer valuable support without actively promoting the 'you're broken' message.

By shying away, avoiding the industry all together, wasn't going to bring more light and change things. If I did, it would be one less person creating a positive change in an industry that needs it. If I gave up... using other people's negative behaviour as a reason to quit, I'd be running away from the shadow side of the industry and playing the victim.

And that's not what I teach.

Click to Tweet: "Matching fear with fear, does not create love" Emma Bradford

Running away from what we find challenging doesn't change things. By running away or ignoring things it's as if we've given others (or the issue) permission to continue growing and growing. And this is applicable to everything... what we see in society, aspects about ourselves, issues in relationships... everything we find a challenge. 

Those of you who have been following my work for a while will know I talk a lot about light and shadow. This metaphor is the basis of what I teach - Wholehearted NLP. Using NLP with heart for the highest good of ourselves and others, to uncover the gifts and messages of the shadow (the parts we don't like) so we can reconnect to our light (our true essence). 

Light and shadow is within everything. You probably have heard of Yin and Yang right? Opposing energy forces. If you look at the image below you can see how connected the two forces are. We cannot have one without the other. Where there's night also comes day... when we can experience hot we can also experience cold.

Also notice that within the shadow side there is a little bit of light too. 

This light within the shadow can come in the form of gifts, insights, meaning, connection and support all of which can be found during challenging times and situations... if we dare to open up to it and face the shadow. I've come to realise that it's not one or the other. It's both. hand in hand. Light and shadow together that invite us to fully embrace, learn from and appreciate this human experience we call life. 

The light comforts, reminds us of our immense strength and supports us as we shine light on the shadow to uncover the insights.

The shadow provides gifts, deep insights and supports us to fully appreciate the light. 

Gaining Clarity...

1) INTERNAL: If we use this metaphor to look at ourselves... embracing both the parts we like (light) and the parts we don't (shadow) this can bring true wholehearted self-acceptance. Let's use our strengths to help us overcome what we find challenging within. 

2) EXTERNAL: If we use this metaphor to take positive action (light) regarding the horrors (shadow) we see in society... this is what starts to create more peace. Let's use positive behaviours and actions to create new projects, communities and experiences that support and generate wonderful change in the parts where the shadow is prevalent. 

Actionable Steps...

1) INTERNAL: What's your top strength? How can you use that to start transforming (even if it's simply transforming by perspective) a part of yourself you don't like? For example... my creativity is one of my strengths and this plays a key role in helping me express painful emotions from my shadow. 

2) EXTERNAL: One, simple act of kindness has the ability to completely transform someone's day. The receiver can feel wonderful and often feels inclined to spread it out further... creating a ripple effect. What simple act of kindness can you do today? For example... helping someone up the stairs with their suitcase or simply a smile as you go about your day.

The big changes in the world are calling us to take a good look within and outside of ourselves. To finally face whats been lurking in the shadow for a long time, whether that's personal fears or racism, hatred and inequality in society. We cannot destroy something with the same thinking that created it. Matching fear with fear does not create love. Time is calling us to look at the shadow head on, shine our light on it, find the gifts IN it and use those gifts to create positive change. 

It's up to us. 

Let's use what we don't like as fuel for creating loving change rather than running away and blaming. Let's be empowered rather than victims. 

It's time for change. 

Have a friend who would find this useful? Please continue spreading the love and share this post.. this could count as one of the acts of kindness!

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