Sunday, 23 September 2018

Could This Be The Answer?

Those following my work will have noticed I've been travelling a fair bit recently. Family gatherings, funeral, workshops... I think I'll be buying a fair few trees to be planted this autumn to make up for the many flights!

One thing I've noticed whenever I return to Barcelona, step back into the flat and start unpacking is how living with just a few things can make life so much simpler. I feel lighter, freer.

I also went to Menorca for August with just 1 item of hand luggage, most of which was taken up with my laptop. And looking at my wardrobe afterwards I realised how much stuff I do not use with a strong urge to give the majority away. This urge also seems to arise whenever I take self-awareness courses and Training's, it's as if when I move something within me, I need to move the stuff around me too.

And you know what?

It feels so good!

Whilst we may not want to live out of a suitcase for the rest of our lives, significantly reducing and spring cleaning our living space can have numerous benefits... 



1) Charities and those in need benefit from donated clothes and books etc.

2) Cleaning and clearing physical items around us helps shift the energy around us also... which in turn affects the energy within us too.

3) Getting rid of the old in our lives creates space for the new to come in. I remember a teacher once saying that before she manifested her life partner she literally cleared space in her house for this partner (that she had yet to meet) so could move in one day. As if she was saying to the Universe "I'm ready! I'm creating space in my life (and home) for a loved one to share it with me".

4) Life is simpler. 





Number 4 alone is golden. I mean how full can life get sometimes? Bills, work, emails, chargers, passwords, food shops, cooking, cleaning, washing, commitments etc. Cutting back, sticking to essentials only can create so much SPACE.

Space to notice the freedom, presence and valuable small (Big) things in life.

Feeling overwhelmed? Stressed? Cluttered? Or simply looking to create change and bring new energy into your life?

Strip back. 

Wardrobes, cupboards, drawers, 
asking yourself... 


1) Is this necessary and important? If yes, keep it. If no move on to next step...

2)
Is this meaningful, beautiful and something that puts a smile on my face? If yes, keep it if you wish. If no, time to release it.


Life can be so simple and beautifully rewarding. 

Let's make it even more so and notice what shifts occur by doing so. 



What helps you feel lighter, freer and more relaxed in life? Let me know in the comment section below.

Have a friend seeking support?
Offer a helping hand and share this post.

Want more?
Full details on trainings, workshops, coaching, audios and more on my website.

Saturday, 25 August 2018

How To Navigate Challenging Times... The Difference That Makes The Difference

A friend asked once... "how do we navigate difficult times?" 


How do we get through it? 

What helps, what doesn't? 


Whilst in the past I would of replied 'I'm fine', keeping things fairly surface level if something challenging arose, brushing everything under the carpet. Nowadays 'CONNECT' is my answer. 

Whether that's connecting with myself, with others, with nature, with universal energy... it all can provide immense support and healing. 

This is constructive comfort, as I call it. Rather than searching for the full tub of ice cream solely to numb how we feel on a regular basis. 

In practice... 


This summer a family member passed on, transitioned into the next realm, no longer in the physical yet the energy lives on... even if some say that's simply within our memories and hearts. 


Whilst this family member was very old and had lived a long life, I could feel the empty gap and sadness as I started to adjust to new family life, and the need to connect as I navigated this precious time. 

I sent a message to a some local friends, explaining that during the next few months I'd like to connect more, especially when I would have usually seen that family member in the past. Not out of distraction or to avoid the sadness I felt, though as a form of support whilst I get used to new family life and experience the emotions that arise. 

"This is how we find the light in darker times" I said. 

CONNECTION. 

It's using the difficult times as a reminder to connect at all the levels we feel necessary. 







If we're navigating a challenging time...

Sometimes we may want alone time. If this is the case we can find the light during these moments by creating space to connect with ourselves and nature. A moment to observe, reflect, and simply be. 

Just like the beauty that can be experienced when we observe the night sky. It's dark yet can still be incredibly beautiful when witnessed. 

And sometimes we may want additional support too. If this is the case we can find the light during challenging moments by reaching out, connecting with loved ones. 

By creating connection, at whatever level we choose, can help us navigate through these moments helping us to find the gifts in them. CONNECTION is the light that darker times presents to us. It's an invitation. Helping us realise that the darkness at its core is actually made of light too. 

It just needs us to flick the switch on. 

It's our choice. 


What helps you navigate challenging times? Let me know in the comment section below. 

Have a friend going through a difficult time? Offer a helping hand and share this post. 

Want more? Full details on trainings, workshops, coaching, audios and more on my website.

Tuesday, 24 July 2018

You Already Have What You Want

Chatting with a loved one not long ago, it suddenly clicked. I realised how blind I had been regarding a particular area in my life. 

Overlooked. 

And I wondered how many others do this too?

How often do we want something in our life, set goals, go out to achieve certain things... focusing on what we don't have right now and 'oh how great my life will be WHEN I have__X__'. That statement is limiting us from enjoying life before achieving __X__.

If we expand our perspective we may actually realise we have much of what we want already. Perhaps not in the way we expected it to show up, still, often it's there. 

We already have the love, money, health, success  (whatever it is that we're looking for) in other ways already. 

Just because something isn't showing up in the way that we want it or the way we expected it to show up... doesn't mean it's not there. It doesn't give us permission to dismiss all of the gifts within our human experience already. 

If we want LOVE in our life, and feel jealous, irritated, sad, lonely when we see people loved up in the streets are we really lacking love in our life? Just because we may not have it in the way that we want it, doesn't give us permission to completely ignore the love we receive in life already. 

It's there. 

How often do we ignore, push away or reject the love that comes to us? For example, when somebody gives us a compliment... do we fully receive it? Or do we push it away and reject it reaffirming the opposite? 

"That's a nice colour on you" 
"Oh this old thing? You haven't seen the stain on the back"

Pushing away love right there. 

If we want MONEY and financial abundance in our life, feeling restricted, resentful, angry at the 'lack' that we see... are we really lacking abundance in our life? Just because we don't have it in the way that we want it, doesn't give us permission to take for granted the abundance that is within our life already. 

It's there. 

How often do we take for granted the money that comes into our life already? For example, when we make payments or buy something... do we fully appreciate the fact that we can make that payment and the benefits we'll receive by doing so? 

'Uggh I have to pay for __X__' rather than 'I'm so grateful for this (service/product/experience) and all I'm going to receive by paying for___X___'

Even utility bills... what a wealth of abundance it is to have running water, light, WiFi connection etc and everything that having that can allow us to do and experience.





If we want HEALTH in our life, and continue to focus on the aches, pains, irritations are we really lacking health? Just because we may not have it in the way that we want it, doesn't give us permission to completely ignore the health we currently have. This has been probably my biggest lesson. 

It's there. 

How often do we take for granted the health we currently have? For example, do we fully appreciate what our body can still do regardless of any symptoms we may have? 

'My__X__ is playing up again, so annoying' vs 'I'm grateful I can breathe/talk/see/hear etc'

You get the picture. 

We already have much of what we want already, just perhaps not in the way we want it or think it should come to us. 

This doesn't mean to say we can never have goals and desires, it simply means that by bringing a little more GRATITUDE to the current situation we can gain more fulfilment, satisfaction and we may even realise the goal is not that important anyway. It also doesn't mean to say we ignore certain aspects and symptoms that need to be addressed, I'm not talking about spiritual bypassing here. I'm talking about appreciating what is present already and not allowing our desires and goals take away our satisfaction of what we already have. 

And this needn't mean to say we beat ourselves up for 'not being grateful' enough, we're all on this journey together, I've certainly had my fair share of reminders and it's a conscious choice to appreciate more on a regular basis. There may be easy moments and challenging moments in life. The challenging times are often a reminder of how strong and resilient we are. 

Taking it a step further, many of the goals and desires we have are simply so we can FEEL a certain way. Happy, satisfied, free, loved etc. Good news is, we can create how we feel already, right now. Having __X__ isn't the only way. We don't need to wait and limit ourselves by attaching ourselves to the sole actualization of the said goal and missing the gifts that surround us already. More info on emotions here

We already have so much of what we want. 

It's there - we just need to open our eyes and appreciate the gifts already within our experience. Perhaps it's presented in a different colour to what we expected. And just because it's different doesn't mean it's not there.



I wonder, what new gifts will you discover today? Let me know in the comment section below what you notice.

Have a friend who could benefit from this? Offer a helping hand and share this post. 

More information on events, audio teachings, online community and trainings on www.emmabradford.net


Monday, 25 June 2018

The Forgotten Side Of Spirituality In Life... And How to Experience Deeper Fulfillment

Two elements.

How do we find a balance between the following... and do we really need this balance?

When our focus is split between physical life and spiritual life (and I'm not specifically talking about organised religion here, I'm talking about our deeper, personal beliefs about LIFE whatever that may be for us) sometimes we're missing the beauty and magic from the two combined together.

Whatever our beliefs are, it seems human beings regardless of gender, age, race have often found reassurance in some sort of belief about our life experience. Whether we don't believe in a higher force or we do, whatever spectrum we may associate ourselves with and anywhere in between... our beliefs have often given us a sense of security and comfort.

Many connect with the understanding that within everything is energy, vibrating particles. This has been proved time and time again by scientists. We  have electromagnetic fields. Everything from the food we consume, objects that surround us all have vibrating particles in variations. Solids vibrate slower, so we can actually touch them. Liquids, vibrate more quickly making the liquid form that we see. And gases vibrate even quicker, so quick that we often cannot see them.

Regardless of speed and form... the energy remains.

This energy, some call consciousness. There is this universal loving energy that gives life. 

Something I've noticed in the self awareness industry is that sometimes we can move so far away from the physical realm focusing too much on the Spiritual side of things that we forget why we're here. At least why I feel we're here... some could argue this is simply my perception!

Let's look at what we call ourselves... 'Human beings'. 

Human + Being. 

We are not just a physical body, we are the energy, spirit and breath that fills it and animates it. When someone dies, their physical body still remains a short while, it's the breath, the life force that has moved on. Also we are not just an energetic being floating around, we have a physical body grounding us into this human experience. 

Whatever the reasons are why we're here, and who we really are... I guess we'll find out in detail one day. At the moment, what many of us have are different elements of this whole truth.

"Truth is a sphere" as my NLP Trainer, would often say.

Perhaps we're not here to solely focus on the physical side of life, there's something more. And... perhaps we're not here to ignore the physical experiences of life too.

It's the two together. Hand in hand. Human + Being.





To remember our spiritual (energetic) nature whilst making the most of this human physical experience we call life - to really experience sensations, physical experiences and pleasures, especially with our physical body. Often there can be the misconception that to be focused on material aspects in life is 'shallow' or not 'spiritual'. Doesn't sound like a very spiritually, loving belief to me.

We're here in a physical body with material aspects around us for a reason. For the experience of it and to really enjoy it in all it's colours and shades on offer.

At the same time, being solely focused on the physical side, ignoring or dismissing any belief in something else (whether that's simply energy from a scientific point of view or a Soul, Spirit, consciousness, higher force etc) often can leave us searching for more whether we're conscious of it or not.

Unsatisfied with life. Unfulfilled. Something missing.

When we combine the two, in whatever way that resonates for us we can experience even more fulfilment in life.

Acknowledging our physical body and physical experience whilst remembering what lies deeper within ourselves and others - an energy, a Soul.

To ignore the pleasures our physical experience can bring some would say is to ignore a fundamental part of spirituality. Meditating all day long does not make us more spiritual than others. Tapping into the simple sensations and pleasures our senses and body allow us to experience can be a magical and spiritual part of life.

And to ignore the wisdom and understanding deeper within ourselves, others and life is to ignore a vital part that many of us search for too.

It's seeing the bigger picture, whilst enjoying the details too.

Both, hand in hand.

Try this...
What are you grateful for in your physical experience right now? What sensations do you notice? Feel into it.

Experiencing this, what does this teach you about life? What deeper messages lie within? And if you're not sure, if you were to know... what do you think you'd discover? 


Have a friend that could benefit? Spread the love and share this post.

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Tuesday, 22 May 2018

The Experience That Changed Everything... Where Wholehearted NLP Really Comes From

Things don't always make sense.

Many times amidst the confusion, lies an invitation for us to find the clarity deep within the experience... if we dare to step into the truth of it. Outer facades dropping to reveal what really lies within. 

Intuition sometimes works in this way, pulling us towards or away from something without the initial clarity as to WHY we feel that way.

Few years ago I felt a strong pull towards Menorca - especially to a particular part of the island. When I arrived, I met a local and we connected straight away. This time it was different, I felt a strong need to talk to this person, almost as if it was a knowing, a 100% certainty even though I was initially unsure why.

We kept in regular contact after that first meeting, the intuitive pull remained strong. I thought I had met a life partner, whereas the true intuitive message would soon appear as something completely different

This person, at an unconscious level, was about to teach me one of my greatest lessons in life. One that would completely transform my work, my outlook on life and so much more. I had no idea at the time of meeting - neither did they. I just knew, for some reason we were being placed together.




Ever since I can remember I’ve been an optimistic person naturally able to re-frame events. Supporting friend's in need, I literally felt their pain and desperately wanted them to feel better. Naturally this developed into my profession too.

I find it easy to focus on the light, all things positive. It allows me to see and remind clients of their true potential when they’ve lost all hope. 

I’d learnt like many to ignore my emotions growing up - a way of survival from a young age. Long term, that behaviour was actually doing me more harm than good. Looking back now I can see how out of balance I was.


By only acknowledging the lighter side of things... we can never fully experience wholehearted self-acceptance.


Back home on the beach I watched the waves eating their way across the shore, observing the wet stones glistening in the sand. One caught my attention; it was a beautiful oval, grey, sparkly stone, which reminded me of this person. I bent down to pick it up when a huge wave came. As the wave retreated the stone was gone. Disappointed, I looked around though it was nowhere to be found. Still thinking of that person, another stone caught my eye in the same spot. Little did I know then what this beautiful heart shaped stone would truly represent.

Listening to my gut instinct, I took another trip to Menorca a few months later. There was a moment on this trip where everything clicked into place, certain conversations and the realisation that this person was not for me in the sense I initially thought. The expectation bubble was brutally burst. Painful at first until I realised they were coming into my life as one of my greatest teachers, in the moment I needed it most. 

A perfect mirror to face my shadow parts (parts we hide, dislike, avoid, suppress) and see them with love.

There, I saw a parent holding their sobbing child... eyes closed, with a loving calm breath, embracing the hurt with 100% presence. Later to ask the child, ‘what did you learn here for next time?’ 

I realised deep within THIS is how we need to embrace painful emotions within ourselves. Not run from them as I had spent a lifetime doing.

Looking at my stone, its meaning became so clear and what this whole experience was about.





It represents the light and dark within everyone. The importance of embracing our whole selves,  especially the shadow parts.

We can ask ourselves...

“I notice ___(observe feelings)___, it's ok, everyone has felt that at some point in their life, wonder what I can learn here?"


It’s human nature to move away from suffering and often we seek comfort from alcohol, food, unhelpful habits etc. Remember these only give us short lived pleasure, when in reality long lasting happiness is desired. And embracing all parts of ourselves, both light and shadow with love is creating even deeper wholehearted, self-acceptance.

My intuition had led me into the greatest love story - and not the one I initially expected. The longer I held onto expectations the more painful it became. It was when I let go and realised the true message of the experience, things transformed into an even greater love story... with my whole self. 

Thanks to that experience, I now teach Wholehearted NLP, using NLP to find the gifts within the shadow.

Thanks to that experience I'm discovering the gifts ALL emotions can offer. 

Thanks to that experience I'm continuing to learn and acknowledge both the light and shadow, within myself, within others and society.

Thanks to that experience my outlook on my work, life and self has completely transformed, for the better.


Is it all rainbows and unicorns now? 

Absolutely not. It's a daily practice of choosing integration and sometimes it's easier than others. I was clueless of what that intuitive pull was really signifying at the beginning, and this time I found out because I decided to follow the trail of clues. Clues being that pull, towards something, a curiosity to learn more, know more, experience more.

Intuition means 'inspired tuition'. Note the word TUITION. It's only tuition if we don't act on it. When we act on it, that's when can transform into an insightful and useful experience.

It's also important to note that an intuitive gut feeling can differ from person to person how we experience it. I can only speak from personal experience and my experience may differ to another persons experience. 

Pay attention, notice... look back over past events when you 'knew' something was off, not quite right or you needed to do something. 

What were the signs? 
How did you know? 
What's the common thread when you look back over several different events? 
Any similarities in how you 'knew'?

Awareness of this can pin-point how our intuition communicates with us. 

We're all different. 

My intuition can be both an overwhelming happy YES feeling to a subtle, constant pull or push. I know it's my intuition when if I haven't acted upon it, it appears again, and again, and again... that prodding as if to say 'go on'. On the other hand, if I get a sudden overwhelming desire or fear popping up that ceases to reappear again - even if I haven't acted on it - then I know often it wasn't really my intuition. 

Putting it into practice...

What are you being drawn to at the moment? (And no, I don't mean a quick desire for comfort food or alcohol. I'm talking about a sensation within, a gut feeling, a pull towards or away from something).

What does this feeling wish to communicate? 

I wonder, what gifts you'll encounter when you act on that loving message?



Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this with them spreading the love further. 

Want more? FREE resources, events, online community etc all on my website www.emmabradford.net

Monday, 23 April 2018

My Wake Up Call... And It's Message

"I'm done conforming" I said to myself.

Following every 'Must Have Steps On How To Reach 6 Figures In Your Coaching Business' never really resonated with me. At times I felt guilty in the past for not taking part as I felt I 'should' be doing it because it was the seen thing to do.

"That's what all coaches do right? Doing __x__ training, __y__ program, __z__ social media tactic... so I need to do that too".

Yet some of it felt forced, rigid and even sneaky... (don't even get me started on Instagram following tactics). So I stepped away and felt set apart at times for doing so. 

You have to post in ____ way, every day.
Have to do __x__, __y__ and __z__ to gain followers  
You have to document all your life on social media stories everyday
Have to... must do... should do... etc.

The list grew longer and longer.

I'm good at being consistent with blog posts, social media updates, online community commitments, meetups, workshops etc. My Taurus determination has got me where I am today. I also noticed this Spring I needed a little more balance, running my business according to what resonates with me only without the guilt. 

A while ago I felt low in energy, having spent years behind a computer working hard to spread the message about Wholehearted NLP and offer support to those seeking it. Carrying the business solo - accounts, publicity, creation, coaching, training, admin... everything... single handed. 

Then I had a wake up call. Life slapped me in the face and brought me to my senses. 

My health was stretched from the pressure I was putting on myself and a friend left the Earthly plane. Success took on a whole new meaning. Talking about this with a dear friend at a house party afterwards... I explained to her how I forgot about the true meaning of success in life and what's truly valuable.

Friends, family and health.



So I postponed all my events for a whole month, looked within and step by step started making necessary changes in my life.


A) RECONNECT TO THE BODY: I reconnected to my senses even more, getting out of my head and into my body. Attending regular yoga classes, dancing more around the house to my favourite music, appreciating my body with gratitude.

B) PRIORITISE VALUES: I started prioritising time with family even more, and catching up with friends because that's something I value. Life is too short not to acknowledge what we value.

C) TIME-OUT TO RELAX: I started taking time out from work, choosing to post social media updates ONLY when I really wanted to and felt I had something worth sharing. 

I love my job, I feel passionate about spreading the message of finding gifts within the shadow and supporting individuals through that. Looking back I can see it was another layer to shed in realigning myself with what resonates in terms of how I manage my work/life balance.

To step a little further out of the rigidity and a little more into the fluidity.


So I decided upon a new work manifesto...

1) To post work based social media updates ONLY when I feel called to share an important message or valuable event. Bringing authenticity even more to the forefront of my work at ALL levels.


This doesn't mean to say to go for months without connecting with my community or that certain tips to gain publicity or out smart social media algorithms are unnecessary or even bad. If we value our community and have a message that can offer service and benefit, being present and learning useful tips can be a smart thing to do so the message actually gets seen. It's about using ONLY what resonates and leaving the rest. Using ONLY what feels authentic to us and letting go of what others may be doing if doesn't speak to us.


2) Listen to my intuition... when I need to step back and say no and when something is calling my attention.


Is it a complete 'yes!'? If not... then most often it's not the best choice for me, my business and clients so I won't go ahead.


3) Prioritise creative, relaxing, regeneration time out from work, as not only does this fuel work successes to come, it also contributes to true success in LIFE.


I share this openly because I feel it's important to keep bursting the bubble that all teachers are perfect and free from challenges - a common misconception, especially in the coaching/NLP world. Yes I've learnt some incredibly useful life changing tools over the years, and yes I've overcome many challenges too. This has helped me really understand clients deeply and guide them to their inner knowing during challenging life situations. Re-frame past events, rewrite the story within their unconscious and reconnect them to their true self within.

And just like any teacher... I'm human too.





A recent trip took me into the depths of the beautiful Cotswold's, in the UK with dear friends. A week away to unwind, laugh and explore. I remember before the trip, someone on social media commenting... "a whole week?! What will your clients do?!" I thought they were joking at first. Turned out they were serious and concerned for my clients well-fare if I was unavailable for a few days.

The old me would of felt guilty taking time out, questioning my actions and perhaps even slotted in a non-urgent hours of work during the trip, even if it could wait.

The new me wasn't having any of it. 

Knowing full well my clients and business were going to benefit so much more by having a re-energised, grounded and centred coach, not to mention allowing me to feel more human again by creating a more harmonious work/life balance. Hey, I even postponed a Facebook live... something I would have never done before as commitment and consistency are BIG for me. Though I knew, deep within I needed a switch off from the online work world. 

And you know what? It worked.

My energy built up with strength and I felt inspiration growing again within. Something I thought was disappearing... in reality it was simply waiting to be found again.

To find MYSELF again.

I felt tired back then because I was disconnected from my energy.
I felt lacking in inspiration back then because I was disconnected from my intuition.

The energy and intuition are within and around us... they ARE us. It's all about reconnecting to OURSELVES. 

Because we are, whether we chose to realise it or not, the staring role in our life. There are no back ups, covers waiting to fill in behind the curtains.

It's us, this life, and our choices.

If you've been feeling tired with life's challenges and commitments recently ask yourself this... who am I living my life for? 

And how do I choose to live it from now on? 



Now I'd love to hear from you! Reflecting on this, what one change do you feel called to make in your life to really embrace and LIVE life fully? And when will you do that? Let me know in the comment section below.

Have a friend needing a gentle nudge forward into fully embracing life? Offer a helping hand and forward this post. 

For more information on Training's, Workshops, Classes & 1:1 Coaching visit www.emmabradford.net 


Tuesday, 20 March 2018

7 Reasons Why We Don't Do What's Good For Us... And How To Change It

Daily...
  • Meditation,
  • Gratitude Lists,
  • Exercise,
  • Morning Routines,
  • Journaling,
  • Affirmations,
  • Healthy Organic Food
  • Etc...the list goes on.
Anyone else felt overwhelmed at times with the endless to do list of what we 'should' do to live a healthy and fulfilled life? 

I certainly have. 

Sometimes it can feel like a full time job doing everything that we need to to care for ourselves. The lists can be extensive, and even with small simple things there can be times where self-sabotage kicks in. We know what we need for a healthier, happier life, so why do we find it so hard to actually bring it into practice?

"I know I should meditate but I just can't seem to keep it going! What's wrong with me?!"
"I can't seem to stick to it... I was doing so well and now I'm back to square one"

Common phrases from clients. It's frustrating I know, I've been there many times too. 








As far as I know, there are 7 main reasons why we don't do what we know deep within we need to do for a happy and healthy life. 



1) Not addressing beliefs & emotions within the conscious/unconscious mind.

- Fears about change and/or negative beliefs about uncertainty and change

- Limiting beliefs about the new outcome, for example if loosing weight is the desired outcome there could be underlying beliefs and fears such as... "If I'm thin I'll attract unwanted attention (staying overweight to protect self)"


Creating Change...

What do I believe about change itself? What does change and uncertainty mean to me?
What do I believe about achieving __(desired outcome)__? 

Notice if any limiting beliefs arise and challenge them by re-framing the statement - what else could this mean?

For example: It's not whether I'm overweight or skinny that I attract unwanted attention... it's more to do with my beliefs about it that can attract uncomfortable experiences.


2) Being unaware of the secondary gain of current behaviour and situation where we're searching for something unconsciously. 



If we don't acknowledge our authentic desires this is where self-sabotaging/yo-yo behaviour can kick in. For example, if we want to relax, unwind yet have feelings of obligation, too many activities from work, commitments in our life along with a hidden drive of wanting to BE and relax rather than do... then can come the behaviour of sitting in front of the TV rather than exercising! As many say up to 95% or more of our behaviour is controlled by our unconscious mind. 


Creating Change...

What is the hidden positive intention here? What am I really looking for? 
How can I fulfil this AND do activities that fulfil my health and well-being too? 


3) Using negative, pressuring internal dialogue such as 'I have to/should do/must do...' rather than 'I will/can/want to...'. 



I don't know about you, I certainly don't feel motivated when I order myself to do something - I turn the other way!


Creating Change...

How am I talking and thinking about __x__? 
How can I change that so it becomes even more compelling and exciting so I want to do it? 




4) Being focused on instant pleasure rather than long term happiness. 



Bringing our focus on the task rather than the benefit is very common. When we do this, it can often demotivate us rather than motivate us.

Creating Change...

What is the big WHY in doing ___x___?
How will I benefit now and in the long term by doing ___x___?


5) Allowing our emotional state to remain dropped down and stuck... therefore less motivation. Our emotional state is KEY to how motivated we feel about things. 


Creating Change...

What music inspires, energises and uplifts me?
What puts a smile on my face? 
How can I use these to motivate me to do ___x___?


6) Creating to do lists from only one level - the mind.



Rather than acknowledging our body's capacity to physically carry out only a certain number of tasks out compared to how many the mind can actually think about. The mind is quick and has no limitations on time, whereas to physically do tasks throughout the day can take more time than to think about it. More about the Mind/Body list here.


Creating Change...

What 1 or 2 well-being tasks will I focus on solely that will bring me the greatest amount of joy, satisfaction and benefits? 


7) Feeling uncomfortable moving out of the comfort zone. 

To do something new, means shifting the energy in that moment and moving out of the comfort zone can feel... err at times... uncomfortable! What we're noticing is simply the shift in vibration from one situation to another. It's the initial step that is the biggest shift. 

There have been many articles talking about the Japanese technique to get things done by only doing 5 minutes of an activity. By doing so, once we've started, often we'll continue because we've already achieved that initial hurdle. 

Creating Change...

The previous points above plus social accountability can help take this first step. 

"If I notice awkward feelings about changing a pattern of behaviour even if it's something for my health and well-being, often I'm simply noticing the shift in energy in moving out of the comfort zone. The more I repeat the action of giving that activity a go, the more comfortable I can feel with the new behaviour"




So now over to you...

Looking back, is there something that you know you can benefit from yet you've been struggling to do it up until now? 

Which of the 7 above reasons resonated most and why? 

What will you do differently this week to create that change? Schedule in your diary now to make that even more of a reality. 

Have a friend that could benefit from this? Offer them a helping hand by sharing this post. 

And if you want more information on NLP Trainings, FREE Online Community, FREE resources and 1:1 sessions click here. 

Saturday, 24 February 2018

How To Gain True Life Satisfaction

Life. 

Duality. 

I was reminded of this a few weeks back, celebrating the success of my recent NLP Graduate students - what an awesome group! And the same week hearing news of a friend that unexpectedly passed away. 

On one hand I wanted to jump for joy and celebrate the success of my students... on the other I wanted to cry, grieve - shocked at the sudden news of my friend. 

It was a BIG reminder on how valuable life is, and how we can take it for granted. 

Hours passing by scrolling Facebook or taking the 100th photo for the perfect Instagram selfie. I read a post once by Karly Nimmo who has a two shot rule. She won't take more than two photos - and then one of those gets posted. 

Or perhaps we binge eat, binge watch Netflix, use alcohol or smoking to disconnect from pain we may be feeling.

If endless social media or another vice really fulfills us deeply then by all means we can continue as long as it doesn't harm our health. More often than not it doesn't fulfill us in the long term - if we're really honest with ourselves, we're looking for something else deep down. 

Love, belonging, connection, acceptance, excitement, variety, significance... the list goes on.

It's when we move through challenges, finding insights and learning from those moments that we transform the need to stick a 'Netflix plaster' over how we feel. 



There can be ups and downs. 

Life can bring moments of joy and love... and moments of anger and grief. Much of how we experience things is to do with what stories we tell ourselves about things. Whether we're conscious of this or not. Our thoughts & beliefs create the frustration, struggle, stress and more. Sometimes we may not want to acknowledge this, because when we do we can't point the finger anymore. We're responsible. 

For our life.

How we choose to live it. 

Whilst we may not be able to directly change all circumstances in the world and other peoples behaviour. One of our greatest gifts in life is that we have the gift of choice. Choice on what actions we take or don't take. How we choose to respond to things and see situations. 

And this needn't mean an overwhelming list of do's and don'ts, feeling angry with ourselves if we are triggered yet again by a particular person or situation. Or feeling pressure to create big changes out of fear, setting goals looking for perfection as we believe it will bring a sense of belonging, rather than out of love for ourselves and our future.

Choice can simply mean choosing to make most of the simple little things. To really LIVE this life we are living in this human experience. 

For example...

  • Stepping outside and breathing deeply rather than take our freedom to do this as granted.
  • Observing the beauty of a flower rather than hurriedly pass it by.
  • Closing our eyes and feeling the sunshine on our skin rather than think about endless to do lists.
  • Hearing the sounds that surround us as individual sounds of a larger orchestra rather than noise.
  • Noticing what we say to our self when we reconnect to the beauty of life in this way rather than beat ourselves up.

The list is endless. 

There are many options and choices available. 


Let's start with small, micro actions and experiences. It can be the small and simple things that often are the most powerful and beneficial.

I wonder... how many valuable things can we experience today?



Now I'd love to hear from you: What little blessing do you notice right now in your experience? Let me know in the comment section below. And join us in the online community.

Have a friend that would find this useful? Offer a supportive hand and share this post.

And if you want more information on trainings and how you can transform your life experience using NLP with heart - check out the latest trainings here.


Sunday, 28 January 2018

The Hidden Drive Behind The Inner Critic & Why Vulnerability Matters

Fearful Part: "Shouldn't do__x__ need to do __y__ uggh I'm so lazy!"

Loving Part Within: "Relax"

Fearful Part: "Look at everything that needs to get done, will never get all this done or done right, I'm so hopeless"

Loving Part Within: "Just be"

Fearful Part: "Everyone else can manage why can't I? What's wrong with me?"

Loving Part Within: "Breathe"

Fearful Part: "I feel_(alone/sad/angry/numb/depressed)_ why is everyone else happy and not me?"

Loving Part: "Connect"




How many of us have heard that fearful part, the Inner Critic's judgements before? And how many of us have experienced what I call the 'Inner Critic's Hangover'? In other words... the heavier emotional states that result from negative self-talk. 

I have. 

And so has virtually every client I've worked with. In fact, I'm sure every human being on this planet has had at least one moment of feeling low or experiencing negative self-talk at some point in their life... if not on a regular basis. To experience the variety of colour that emotions bring is natural. With many of these emotions created by previous thoughts we can create change if we desire. If we feel heavier states often we're simply experiencing the hangover of indulging in the Inner Critic's fears.

Taking a deeper look, we can ask ourselves...

What is the hidden drive for the fearful, criticising part - what is it really looking for? 
What does it believe? 
When did it first decide this?
What positive insights do we know now that we didn't know back then?

And if we aren't sure straight away... if we were to know, what would we discover?

Looking for love & belonging is a common hidden drive. Trying to perfect ourselves or show a mask as unconsciously perhaps we believe showing imperfections or vulnerability will lead to separation or abandonment. The thing is, many desire deeper meaning, belonging, happiness and fulfilment in life, yet we move through life with a mask, shielding ourselves from that very fulfilment we desire.

Ironic huh? 

Being authentic, showing our imperfections and vulnerability can lead to...

Connection
Innovation
Creativity
Acceptance
Strength
Courage
Understanding
Healing
Belonging
Companionship
Support

And SO much more. 

Without opening up, daring to be vulnerable, we miss out on SO much. I've been there - it can be lonely place if we remain stuck in the Inner Critic Hangover.


How can we really experience deep love and belonging if we only show a mask and remain connected to fears?

Step by step we can journey towards greater authenticity and love each day. 

Is it easy? Not always. 

It can feel scary moving out of the comfort zone, breaking free and being real. It can feel different to listen to that loving voice within rather than just the fears. It's even scarier though never allowing ourselves the gift of authenticity and love in life. 


Energetically speaking, 2018 among many things is a year of SUPPORT. To create support, give support and receive support.

For ourselves, others, and society.

So if we're going through a challenging time, it's time to reach out. Each and every one of us are so worthy of love and belonging.




Entering the shadow, finding the light (gifts) and coming out the other side. Because to only listen and live life according to fears of the shadow is to completely ignore the love and light. It's not choosing one or the other, its using both for the highest good.

Our fears (shadow part) help us appreciate our strength (light) deepen our awareness and understanding of ourselves/others/society. And the light is the strength within to find the gifts in the shadow.

Want more light in the world? 

It starts within. 


Now I'd love to hear from you!
What did you find most useful about this and what area will that help you with? Let me know in the comment section below.

Have a friend that would find this useful?
Spread the love and share this post.

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