Could This Be The Answer?

Those following my work will have noticed I've been travelling a fair bit recently. Family gatherings, funeral, workshops... I think I'll be buying a fair few trees to be planted this autumn to make up for the many flights!

One thing I've noticed whenever I return to Barcelona, step back into the flat and start unpacking is how living with just a few things can make life so much simpler. I feel lighter, freer.

I also went to Menorca for August with just 1 item of hand luggage, most of which was taken up with my laptop. And looking at my wardrobe afterwards I realised how much stuff I do not use with a strong urge to give the majority away. This urge also seems to arise whenever I take self-awareness courses and Training's, it's as if when I move something within me, I need to move the stuff around me too.

And you know what?

It feels so good!

Whilst we may not want to live out of a suitcase for the rest of our lives, significantly reducing and spring cleaning our living space can have numerous benefits... 

1) Charities and those in need benefit from donated clothes and books etc.

2) Cleaning and clearing physical items around us helps shift the energy around us also... which in turn affects the energy within us too.

3) Getting rid of the old in our lives creates space for the new to come in. I remember a teacher once saying that before she manifested her life partner she literally cleared space in her house for this partner (that she had yet to meet) so could move in one day. As if she was saying to the Universe "I'm ready! I'm creating space in my life (and home) for a loved one to share it with me".

4) Life is simpler. 

Click To Tweet: "Simplify life, create space and welcome the new" Emma Bradford

Number 4 alone is golden. I mean how full can life get sometimes? Bills, work, emails, chargers, passwords, food shops, cooking, cleaning, washing, commitments etc. Cutting back, sticking to essentials only can create so much SPACE.

Space to notice the freedom, presence and valuable small (Big) things in life.

Feeling overwhelmed? Stressed? Cluttered? Or simply looking to create change and bring new energy into your life?

Strip back. 

Wardrobes, cupboards, drawers, asking yourself... 

1) Is this necessary and important? If yes, keep it. If no move on to next step...

2) Is this meaningful, beautiful and something that puts a smile on my face? If yes, keep it if you wish. If no, time to release it.


Life can be so simple and beautifully rewarding. 

Let's make it even more so and notice what shifts occur by doing so. 

What helps you feel lighter, freer and more relaxed in life? Let me know in the comment section below.

Have a friend seeking support? Offer a helping hand and share this post.

Want more? Full details on trainings, workshops, coaching, audios and more on my website.

How To Navigate Challenging Times... The Difference That Makes The Difference

A friend asked once... "how do we navigate difficult times?" 

How do we get through it? 

What helps, what doesn't? 

Whilst in the past I would of replied 'I'm fine', keeping things fairly surface level if something challenging arose, brushing everything under the carpet. Nowadays I find myself sharing more, opening more.

'CONNECT' is my answer.

Whether that's connecting with ourselves, with others, with nature, with universal energy... it all can provide immense support and healing. 

This is constructive comfort, as I call it. Rather than searching for the full tub of ice cream solely to numb how we feel on a regular basis. 

In practice... 

This summer a family member passed on, transitioned into the next realm, no longer in the physical yet the energy lives on... even if some say that's simply within our memories and hearts. 

Whilst this family member was old and lived a long life, I felt the empty gap and sadness as I started to adjust to new family life, and the need to connect as I navigated this precious time. 

I sent a message to a few local friends, explaining that during the next few months I'd like to connect more, especially during the times I would have usually seen that family member in the past. Not out of distraction or to avoid the sadness I felt, though as a form of support as I get used to new family life and experience the emotions that arise. 

"This is how we find the light in darker times" I said to them as I shared how I felt.

CONNECTION. 

It's using the difficult times as a reminder to connect at all the levels we feel necessary. 

Click To Tweet: "Want connection? Create Connection" Emma Bradford

If we're navigating a challenging time...

Sometimes we may want alone time. If this is the case we can find the light during these moments by creating space to connect with ourselves and nature. A moment to observe, reflect, and simply be. 

Just like the beauty that can be experienced when we observe the night sky. It's dark yet can still be incredibly beautiful when witnessed. 

And sometimes we may want additional support too. If this is the case we can find the light during challenging moments by reaching out, connecting with loved ones. 

By creating connection, at whatever level we choose, can help us navigate through these moments helping us to find the gifts in them. CONNECTION is the LIGHT that darker times offers us. It's an invitation. Helping us realise that the darkness at its core is actually made of light too. 

It just needs us to flick the switch on.

To create connection, in whatever way feels right for us... to be that navigating light during difficult times.

It's our choice. 

What helps you navigate challenging times? Let me know in the comment section below. 

Have a friend going through a difficult time? Offer a helping hand and share this post. 

Want more? Full details on trainings, workshops, coaching, audios and more on my website.

The Experience That Changed Everything... Where Wholehearted NLP Really Comes From

Things don't always make sense.

Many times amidst the confusion, lies an invitation for us to find the clarity deep within the experience... if we dare to step into the truth of it. Outer facades dropping to reveal what really lies within. 

Intuition sometimes works in this way, pulling us towards or away from something without the initial clarity as to WHY we feel that way.

Few years ago I felt a strong pull towards Menorca - especially to a particular part of the island. When I arrived, I met a local and we connected straight away. This time it was different, I felt a strong need to talk to this person, almost as if it was a knowing, a 100% certainty even though I was initially unsure why.

We kept in regular contact after that first meeting, the intuitive pull remained strong. I thought I had met a life partner, whereas the true intuitive message would soon appear as something completely different. 

This person, at an unconscious level, was about to teach me one of my greatest lessons in life. One that would completely transform my work, my outlook on life and so much more. I had no idea at the time of meeting - neither did they. I just knew, for some reason we were being placed together.

Ever since I can remember I’ve been an optimistic person naturally able to re-frame events. Supporting friend's in need, I literally felt their pain and desperately wanted them to feel better. Naturally this developed into my profession too.

I find it easy to focus on the light, all things positive. It allows me to see and remind clients of their true potential when they’ve lost all hope. 

I’d learnt like many to ignore my emotions growing up - a way of survival from a young age. Long term, that behaviour was actually doing me more harm than good. Looking back now I can see how out of balance I was.

By only acknowledging the lighter side of things... we can never fully experience wholehearted self-acceptance.

Back home on the beach I watched the waves eating their way across the shore, observing the wet stones glistening in the sand. One caught my attention; it was a beautiful oval, grey, sparkly stone, which reminded me of this person. I bent down to pick it up when a huge wave came. As the wave retreated the stone was gone. Disappointed, I looked around though it was nowhere to be found. Still thinking of that person, another stone caught my eye in the same spot. Little did I know then what this beautiful heart shaped stone would truly represent.

Listening to my gut instinct, I took another trip to Menorca a few months later. There was a moment on this trip where everything clicked into place, certain conversations and the realisation that this person was not for me in the sense I initially thought. The expectation bubble was brutally burst. Painful at first until I realised they were coming into my life as one of my greatest teachers, in the moment I needed it most. 

A perfect mirror to face my shadow parts (parts we hide, dislike, avoid, suppress) and see them with love.

There, I saw a parent holding their sobbing child... eyes closed, with a loving calm breath, embracing the hurt with 100% presence. Later to ask the child, ‘what did you learn here for next time?’ 

I realised deep within THIS is how we need to embrace painful emotions within ourselves. Not run from them as I had spent a lifetime doing.

Looking at my stone, its meaning became so clear and what this whole experience was about.

It represents the light and dark within everyone. The importance of embracing our whole selves,  especially the shadow parts.

We can ask ourselves...

“I notice ___(observe feelings)___, it's ok, everyone has felt that at some point in their life, wonder what I can learn here?"

It’s human nature to move away from suffering and often we seek comfort from alcohol, food, unhelpful habits etc. Remember these only give us short lived pleasure, when in reality long lasting happiness is desired. And embracing all parts of ourselves, both light and shadow with love is creating even deeper wholehearted, self-acceptance.

My intuition had led me into the greatest love story - and not the one I initially expected. The longer I held onto expectations the more painful it became. It was when I let go and realised the true message of the experience, things transformed into an even greater love story... with my whole self. 

Thanks to that experience, I now teach Wholehearted NLP, using NLP to find the gifts within the shadow.

Thanks to that experience I'm discovering the gifts ALL emotions can offer. 

Thanks to that experience I'm continuing to learn and acknowledge both the light and shadow, within myself, within others and society.

Thanks to that experience my outlook on my work, life and self has completely transformed, for the better.

Is it all rainbows and unicorns now? 

Absolutely not. It's a daily practice of choosing integration and sometimes it's easier than others. I was clueless of what that intuitive pull was really signifying at the beginning, and this time I found out because I decided to follow the trail of clues. Clues being that pull, towards something, a curiosity to learn more, know more, experience more.

Intuition means 'inspired tuition'. Note the word TUITION. It's only tuition if we don't act on it. When we act on it, that's when can transform into an insightful and useful experience.

It's also important to note that an intuitive gut feeling can differ from person to person how we experience it. I can only speak from personal experience and my experience may differ to another persons experience. 

Pay attention, notice... look back over past events when you 'knew' something was off, not quite right or you needed to do something. 

What were the signs? 
How did you know? 
What's the common thread when you look back over several different events? 
Any similarities in how you 'knew'?

Awareness of this can pin-point how our intuition communicates with us. 

We're all different. 

My intuition can be both an overwhelming happy YES feeling to a subtle, constant pull or push. I know it's my intuition when if I haven't acted upon it, it appears again, and again, and again... that prodding as if to say 'go on'. On the other hand, if I get a sudden overwhelming desire or fear popping up that ceases to reappear again - even if I haven't acted on it - then I know often it wasn't really my intuition. 

Putting it into practice...

What are you being drawn to at the moment? (And no, I don't mean a quick desire for comfort food or alcohol. I'm talking about a sensation within, a gut feeling, a pull towards or away from something).

What does this feeling wish to communicate? 

I wonder, what gifts you'll encounter when you act on that loving message?

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this with them spreading the love further. 

Want more? FREE resources, events, online community etc all on my website www.emmabradford.net

Emotions Uncovered: The Hidden Benefits of Anger, Sadness & Fear

Emotions. 

Painful? Uplifting? Two sides of the same coin.

There are many different shades of anger... deep, red hot rage to a light red/pink hue of mild irritation. A rainbow of emotions within the human experience, and only experiencing the sunny yellow of joy doesn't allow us to experience the full rainbow. 

As with day and night... if we continuously experience daylight, wouldn’t it get a bit boring? Notice how after a cold, dark, wet winter, spring arrives with more light and warmth. Feels good right? 

We truly appreciate the light when we've experienced darkness too. 

To appreciate the wonderful nature of joy and happiness, we also need to understand what sadness and grief feels like. Doesn't mean we need to wallow in self-pity and grief for days and weeks. It simply means when an emotion arises - acknowledge it, feel it, learn from it and then let it go.  

All emotions are valid. This goes for ourselves too... all parts are valid.  

Click to Tweet: "Only accepting the lighter side of ourselves doesn't bring wholehearted self-acceptance. The shadow needs acknowledging too" Emma Bradford

Emotions (Energy in MOTION) are messengers giving us an invitation. Presenting a door that leads onto something else. If we decide to suppress, ignore, avoid certain emotions it's as if we keep the door closed unable to connect to the wonderful experience on the other side.

We miss out.

Often what prevents us to fully embrace emotions are our beliefs about them from past events. If we believe that crying our sadness or expressing anger is 'wrong' then whenever we feel sadness or anger we'll want to avoid or suppress it. 

It's not the emotion itself... it's the meanings we've attached to them from past experiences.

Afraid of what others might think - fear of showing our vulnerable side in case we're rejected. Vulnerability actually creates deeper bonds. 

Afraid of how it may feel - as we've attached a meaning that __x__ emotion always = pain. As a society we often search for instant pleasure rather than long term happiness. There's a difference between the two and often it's the latter that we really want even if we don't realise it. Searching for instant pleasure and avoiding certain emotions in the process won't bring us long term happiness. 

By opening ourselves to emotions, we open ourselves up to a whole world of experiences and insights. Emotions invite us to experience something else completely different and wonderful in and beyond them. 

Anger can lead to...

• Passion... creative fuel for new projects, missions and new rights.
• Self-esteem... by teaching us about our boundaries, our value and lead us to greater self-worth if we choose to observe the messages and act accordingly.
• Motivation... to create change.
• Etc..

Sadness can lead to...

• Understanding... of what we're experiencing.
• Gratitude... for what we had and have and to fully appreciate the uplifting times. Any sadness I've experienced, acted among many things as a reminder to appreciate what I have and become more present. To truly appreciate the wonderful joys that life has to offer that we can easily take for granted or miss in daily life.
• Connection... with others when we open up and share how we feel. The film 'Inside Out' is a wonderful example of this.
• Etc...

Fear can lead to...

• Courage... to feel the fear and do what we want anyway, recognising how brave we can be.
• Safety... so we can get ourselves out of risky situations if need be.
• Awareness... recognising our priorities and increasing our focus.
• Etc...

In other words it's not the hammer, it's the intention and action we choose to do with the hammer that's important. 

For too long certain emotions have been given a bad reputation, seen as something to be avoided whereas it's simply HOW we express them that's key. Expressing anger by dancing or painting how we feel is very different to punching someone in the face and spreading the anger further. The first transforms the energy, the second multiplies it.

So if anger (for example) isn't 'bad' why do we need to transform it? 

When we remain stuck and attached to certain emotions we interrupt the flow and they can build up within. A mild irritation at first may later become red hot rage if we don't see it for what it is, learn from it and express it in a healthy and productive way from the beginning. Plus I think most of us can agree that a little more peace, love and healing on this planet could be somewhat helpful!

It´s finding a balance, allowing ourselves to go with the flow, without remaining stuck to heavier emotions for too long. That's where NLP and the many other useful techniques and practices out there come in handy. Remaining stuck in certain emotional states can keep us demotivated, dis-empowered and affect our health.

Notice I use the word heavier instead of negative. If we label and judge certain emotions as negative, the more we interrupt the flow. Heavier emotions are the ones where we want to contract and withdraw... lighter emotions are the ones where we feel expansive and open.

By ignoring the knocking on the door of an emotion we miss the insight and gift... and it will only come back louder and stronger another time. 

As they say... what we resist, persists!

If we're learning something through the experience of an emotion can we really label that emotion as negative? Surely gaining new insights can be a wonderful thing, right?

So I wonder... what really lies beyond that door.

I'd love to hear from you, if you're experiencing a particular emotion what is it inviting you to connect with right now? What door is being presented to you? Let me know in the comment section below.

Want practical tips, videos and more? Join the Online community here. Have a friend that would find this post useful? Spread the love even further and share this post. 

More FREE Resources and information about Wholehearted NLP trainings and sessions here. 

Avoidance... And My Mosquito Bite Adventure

Avoidance. 

More common than we think. It's behind most sabotaging behaviours too. 

Yes there are positive intentions, things, feelings we search for unconsciously... there are also benefits and gains by avoiding what we want to move away from. 

It's all too common nowadays to bury our head in the sand. Technology makes this easier too. Facing an awkward silence in the lift with someone you don't know? 

Out comes the mobile. 

We often use mobile phones as an escapism... a jail free card... a way out. Rather than facing things head on, even if they're uncomfortable at first. Avoiding the present moment. I was reminded of avoidance as I was bitten for the 3rd time in a row one hot summer evening by a mosquito. 

Yes even mosquitoes can bring insights!

Angrily cursing... "what's the point of mosquitoes?" "its bad enough being bitten, why do we need to be left with an irritating bite mark too?"

"Presence" I heard within. 

My intuition was pointing how out of touch with the present moment I was at that time and the mosquito bites did have a silver lining... to reconnect with my body and the present moment. Even if it was an irritating reminder! This is not to say that every mosquito bite is a call to be present, each person and situation is different. It certainly seemed the case for me at the time. 

Looking within a little deeper (my curious mindset is often exlporing) all three bites were on the same side of my body even though both sides were visible to the mosquito. 

Interesting.

Some people say depending whether symptoms are displayed on the right or left hand side of the body it can give an insight to what contributing emotional conflicts are present. 

As far out as it may sound to some, emotions can contribute to physical symptoms that we experience... whatever the symptom. Making that symptom worse or better, as we create and influence our reality. 

For example... the left hand side of the body is generally considered to be connected to our feminine energy, female relationships, mother etc. Whereas the right hand side of the body is largely considered to indicate emotions about the masculine energetic side of ourselves, father figure, male relationships etc. There are many different theories and insights out there... though this theory in particular always stuck as it resonates with me. 

It made sense, I was annoyed about a particular situation and person at the time. And that matched exactly with which side of the body I had the mosquito bites on. I was experiencing an irritating physical reminder of how 'irritated' I was because I avoided the anger in the first place. I was being called present to the irritation I initially tried to avoid. 

This was another reminder, another wake up call to step even closer to authentic wholehearted living.

And let this be a lesson... emotions will always surface and manifest one way or another! If we suppress them now, they'll often bubble up in another form later on. 

Our experiences around us are a direct mirror into what is happening internally. 

We can observe and learn or we can avoid. It's our choice. We don't need to obsessively dissect every single thing we experience to find meaning... life is simply for living and having care-free fun too :-). It can help though at times to understand the meaning behind certain situations by tapping into that curious mindset. 

Click to Tweet: "Find the answer within that resonates for you" Emma Bradford

There are no right or wrong answers either, and many factors can come into play. Though by looking within, reflecting on possible meanings behind experiences can give us many insights and answers. 

Find the answer that resonates for you.

1) "I wonder, what is my current external experience highlighting about my internal world?"

2) "And how can I use this information with compassion to create the best outcome for myself and others?"

I realised after that experience how much I had avoided presence in many areas of my life. Presence with certain emotions, certain situations, and certain feelings sensations. By looking a little deeper into experiences we can gain insights into what beliefs, thoughts and emotions that may contribute. 

This is a common example I see with clients and in workshops too is the desire to avoid conflict at times. To avoid speaking our truth as often there is a hidden belief that it will create conflict if we do. Truth is, it's more about how we communicate rather that what we say. Only 7% of communication is based on actual words!

This calls for compassion. 

If you find that you have been avoiding certain situations and feelings first be kind to yourself. There's a reason behind every behaviour... find it, learn from it and then choose the direction you wish to go in. There are many insights to be had, and support around... we don't benefit from it though if we continue to avoid it. 

May each step on this journey be another deeper, compassionate stepping stone towards an even greater wholehearted life. Let's walk this path as one loving community.

If you'd like support in creating new habits and managing emotions and negative self-talk get in touch for online Wholehearted NLP sessions. Simply email... info@emmabradford.net.

Have a friend who would find this useful? Share this post. 

For more... check out the FREE downloads, online community and podcast on my website www.emmabradford.net

I Was Guilty... & The Truth About The Search For Happiness

I wrote the majority of this post flying at 35,000ft.

It's often where I get my best insights and ideas.

This time I was fuelled, seeing a magazine article in the airport titled 'How To Be Happy Everyday'. Those of you in my Facebook Community 'Compassionate Inner Light' would have seen my Facebook post as it happened. 

Maybe I misunderstood the article.

Maybe I didn't.

Often though, articles like that bring more pressure than pleasure.

Yes, we are the ones that attach meanings to situations... yes we create how we feel. However I feel the need to clarify a few things because there are so many misconceptions and misleading articles. 

With 5 years of professional experience in the self-awareness world, I've seen a lot of rubbish out there and I've also seen many authentic, heart driven professionals. I've lost my way a few times too, trying to find the balance between putting the message out there without trying to make anyone feel broken. Sometimes successfully, sometimes not, and in the last year especially I've realised the importance of this. 

Professionals are not in charge of what the reader feels and what meanings they attach to things however I believe we have a responsibility to put out a message of hope, reassurance and support - emphasising that no one is broken. We may feel broken at times, though at our core, no one is. And it deeply saddens me that there can be individuals reading magazine articles like the one I saw, thinking 'I'm not happy every day... there's something wrong with me... I need what they're selling'.

Stop right there. 

There is nothing wrong if we don't feel happy ALL the time.

Click To Tweet: "We're not the emotions we feel... we're just experiencing them" Emma Bradford

For most of my life, I was caught up in what people call 'Spiritual Bypassing'. Only focusing on the light. Ignoring the shadow. Suppressing and ignoring heavier emotions. Probably why a few challenges came into my life to slap me in the face and 'wake me up' - so I could finally start acknowledging my fears.

I'll be honest, being a naturally optimistic person I still have my moments. Though thanks to NLP and great life challenges the steps towards wholehearted living are even more frequent. 

The most important being honesty with myself.

To live wholeheartedly avoiding spiritual bypassing doesn't mean we have to broadcast publicly every single time we feel an emotion (whether that's on social media or other) unless we feel called to do so.

What it means simply is being as authentic and honest as we can. Living with awareness towards our perfect messy humanness. To live wholeheartedly means that we acknowledge how we feel... being honest with ourselves and others, noticing, observing and expressing that as we feel the need, in a healthy way whether be it through creative activity such as (dancing, writing...) and/or heartfelt communication etc.

So that magazine article title got me thinking...

There's a HUGE difference between desperately searching for instant happiness every moment, running away from pain compared to creating long lasting satisfaction and happiness of life accepting the ups and downs.. 

1) Desperately searching for happiness, often invites us to use vices that bring only short lived pleasure or obsessively setting goal after goal seeking to improve our lives out of fear of where we are... never feeling happy with the current moment. "I'll be happy when I have___(fill in the blank)___". This state is fearful, future based and unappreciative of the gifts the present moment can bring.

2) Creating long lasting life satisfaction is actively connecting to what we love and what fills us with joy at a deep Soul level regularly. Engaging in uplifting activities that speak to us, and help us reconnect and enjoy life. Noticing what we feel grateful for, simple pleasures in life. This state is active, present and grateful.

Life has polarity.

We have Yin/Yang, night/day, light/dark. And I'm guessing it's so we can really appreciate one by experiencing the other. It's so we can really feel and learn from this human experience to the full, by appreciating all colours life has to offer. We can even see from recent films such as 'Inside Out'... Sadness has it's value.

In my humble opinion I believe much of life is about this fluidity, moving through the highs and lows finding our balance as we do. There's no need to remain stuck in heavier emotional states and fall victim to how we feel... blaming outside influences for it as we do.

That's where NLP comes in handy. We have the ability to influence how we feel anytime, anywhere. Remembering that we are not the emotions we feel... we are simply experiencing them.

There's also no need to suppress and ignore what the shadow brings up. This also includes constantly and obsessively using practises to feel happier and energised whilst ignoring the deeper messages challenging emotions have to offer. Spiritual Bypassing has long term consequences - I know... I'm still healing from years of it.

If you think you've been caught up in the desperate search for happiness or have been Spiritually Bypassing and feel the need to regain balance try this...

1. Be kind to yourself. We have all been there, it's ok. 
2. What fulfils you at a deep Soul level? What little things generate a sense of joy and satisfaction? Brainstorm a list, what I call the 'I love...' page. A few of mine would include cups of tea in the sunshine, flowers, taking photos of beauty in nature, listening to podcasts whilst creating in the kitchen, dancing like no one is watching etc.
3. Chose ONE thing from that list and bring it into your life regularly noticing how that feels as you do. One simple thing... daily or weekly... you choose. As some would say, we often give ourselves enough pressures and duties in life... life is simply about being authentic reconnecting to what we love. Remembering what fills us up from the inside out and living life according to our true self as much as we can.

Now I'd love to hear from you! In the comment section below let me know one thing on your 'I love...' page. Studies show stating new habits and goals out loud increase our chances of actually creating that shift.

Have a friend that would find this useful? Please share and spread the love even further :-)

More information and FREE downloads on my website www.emmabradford.net

My Key To Wholehearted Living

There’s a story behind this stone.

One that taught me more than I could have imagined.

You see, ever since I can remember I’ve been an optimistic person naturally able to re-frame events. I’d be the one drawing a cheeky smiley face for a friend in need, making an extra batch of soup for a heartbroken housemate or helping others see the positive side of things. I felt their pain so strongly and would try with all my might to help them feel better.

Naturally this developed into my profession too.

It’s been one hell of a journey though and I can see looking back how out of balance I was at times. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is allow people to walk their own path in life - even if it means them hitting rock bottom so to desire change and connect with their full potential.

Before I discovered NLP I’d learnt like many to ignore my emotions - a way of survival from a young age. Though in the long term that behaviour was actually doing more harm than good. Thankfully self-awareness skills I discovered, taught me ways to manage how I felt and let go of things at a deep unconscious level to promote healing.

However in the early days of my NLP journey, there was still something out of alignment… I saw myself as something broken, needing ‘fixing’ on a daily basis.

I had an overwhelming list of limiting beliefs and unwanted emotions rising to the surface. Luckily my teacher Jessica Robbins, wisely reminded us “You don’t need to remove every limiting belief, only the ones which stand in the way of achieving a desired outcome”.

Phew! That’s a relief then.

I steadily learnt to be less judgmental of myself, created techniques like the ‘I Feel…’ page (FREE download below) to help acknowledge emotions and release them. I regularly tune into what my body and intuition is communicating to me, listening intently for the next steps to take. However I too need reminders occasionally, as there are always opportunities in life to shed another layer towards a more wholehearted, authentic way of living.

It was my intuition that took me to a National Park in Menorca for a short trip. There I made new connections, welcoming another experience and opportunity for growth. Of course, there were doubts and fears; changes needed to be made to my work schedule, and opening up to new people can be scary after heartbreak. 

It's essential though, that our hearts remain open regardless. 

My profession doesn’t magically remove my Inner Critic forever; I simply intend to connect to what I love on a regular basis, using techniques to ease the process if any fears arise. 

Back home on the beach I watched the waves eating their way across the shore, observing the wet stones glistening in the sand. One caught my attention; it was a beautiful oval, grey, sparkly stone, which reminded me of a dear friend from my recent trip. I bent down to pick it up when a huge wave came, when the wave retreated the stone was gone. Disappointed, I looked around though it was nowhere to be found. Still thinking of that friend, another stone caught my eye. Little did I know then what this beautiful heart shaped stone would truly represent.

Listening to my gut instinct, I took another trip to Menorca a few months later. Eagerly anticipating what adventures lay ahead. For the first time I’d be doing a full test run of working remotely. It was on this recent trip when I began to realise the true meaning of my stone.

At times in my life I was still so far from wholehearted living, only seeing the positive side of things and what needed to change.

I found it super easy to talk about the light.

This will remain a huge part of me I’m sure. It allows me to see and remind clients of their true potential when they’ve lost all hope. Though in the past I saw myself as something that needed ‘fixing’, fearing pain rather than embracing my whole self with love when letting go of what was no longer useful.

Looking at my stone, its meaning clicked. 

It represents the light and dark within everyone. The importance of embracing our whole selves, using this as a foundation to make necessary shifts in our lives with compassion and presence.

Imagine a parent holding their sobbing child... eyes closed, a loving calm breath, whilst embracing the hurt with 100% presence. Later to ask the child, ‘what did you learn here for next time?’ 

This is how we need to embrace hurting parts of ourselves. I knew this concept before, though to experience first-hand my friend in Menorca comforting a child in pain, I understood and valued this at a much deeper level.

The KEY is the intention and perspective we hold when we look within. Choosing out of LOVE for ourselves and our future to make changes, rather than out of fear of feeling pain.

We can either…

A) See problems, ourselves as broken individuals that need fixing, run to techniques or vices out of fear, unwilling to really look within and learn from past experiences, judging ourselves in the process for not being perfect enough.

Or we can…

B)  Embrace ourselves in spite of pain, learn and transform at a deep unconscious level using techniques like NLP* stepping each day closer to embracing our whole self in each moment. Knowing that there may be fear, pain and suffering at times… that's ok. We can experience a huge amount of joy and love when we truly embrace life. If we notice painful beliefs or emotions arising, to have the courage and self-love to fully see and learn from them, choosing to lovingly transform them without judgement if needed.

“I notice ___(observe feelings)___, it's ok, everyone has felt that at some point in their life, wonder what I can learn here?"

We can miss valuable opportunities for growth if we skip straight to ‘this is bad, get rid of the pain’ with a judgmental perspective that we're not perfect enough compared to others. If we don’t fully integrate these insights and heal the belief that we need 'fixing' there’s a chance we may find ourselves repeating the pattern.

Not always easy I know.

It’s human nature to move away from suffering and often we seek comfort from alcohol, food, unhelpful habits etc. Remember these only give us short lived pleasure, when in reality long lasting happiness is desired. And anything less than embracing all parts of ourselves with love isn't being exquisitely human too though, isn't it?

Here I am on a journey, shedding another layer, stepping a little bit closer to wholehearted living. I invite you to join me and many others on this journey.

We’re each at the point in our life that’s perfect for us.

Time to ditch the label ‘we're broken’ and let go of comparisons. If there are bumps along the way may we have the courage to breathe into any pain a little deeper, learn from it a little more and embrace our whole selves, whilst lovingly continuing to grow and make changes if needed.

Now I’d love to hear from you! Comment below what you found most useful from this post and why. 

Have a friend who would be interested too? Offer them a helping hand and share this post.

EXTRA: 'I Feel...' page Download HERE. And for a FREE boost your Self-Esteem pack head on over to my website www.emmabradford.net.

*Or any other method that helps you to heal at an unconscious level removing the root cause with love.