Emotions Uncovered: The Hidden Benefits of Anger, Sadness & Fear

Emotions. 

Painful? Uplifting? Two sides of the same coin.

There are many different shades of anger... deep, red hot rage to a light red/pink hue of mild irritation. A rainbow of emotions within the human experience, and only experiencing the sunny yellow of joy doesn't allow us to experience the full rainbow. 

As with day and night... if we continuously experience daylight, wouldn’t it get a bit boring? Notice how after a cold, dark, wet winter, spring arrives with more light and warmth. Feels good right? 

We truly appreciate the light when we've experienced darkness too. 

To appreciate the wonderful nature of joy and happiness, we also need to understand what sadness and grief feels like. Doesn't mean we need to wallow in self-pity and grief for days and weeks. It simply means when an emotion arises - acknowledge it, feel it, learn from it and then let it go.  

All emotions are valid. This goes for ourselves too... all parts are valid.  

Click to Tweet: "Only accepting the lighter side of ourselves doesn't bring wholehearted self-acceptance. The shadow needs acknowledging too" Emma Bradford

Emotions (Energy in MOTION) are messengers giving us an invitation. Presenting a door that leads onto something else. If we decide to suppress, ignore, avoid certain emotions it's as if we keep the door closed unable to connect to the wonderful experience on the other side.

We miss out.

Often what prevents us to fully embrace emotions are our beliefs about them from past events. If we believe that crying our sadness or expressing anger is 'wrong' then whenever we feel sadness or anger we'll want to avoid or suppress it. 

It's not the emotion itself... it's the meanings we've attached to them from past experiences.

Afraid of what others might think - fear of showing our vulnerable side in case we're rejected. Vulnerability actually creates deeper bonds. 

Afraid of how it may feel - as we've attached a meaning that __x__ emotion always = pain. As a society we often search for instant pleasure rather than long term happiness. There's a difference between the two and often it's the latter that we really want even if we don't realise it. Searching for instant pleasure and avoiding certain emotions in the process won't bring us long term happiness. 

By opening ourselves to emotions, we open ourselves up to a whole world of experiences and insights. Emotions invite us to experience something else completely different and wonderful in and beyond them. 

Anger can lead to...

• Passion... creative fuel for new projects, missions and new rights.
• Self-esteem... by teaching us about our boundaries, our value and lead us to greater self-worth if we choose to observe the messages and act accordingly.
• Motivation... to create change.
• Etc..

Sadness can lead to...

• Understanding... of what we're experiencing.
• Gratitude... for what we had and have and to fully appreciate the uplifting times. Any sadness I've experienced, acted among many things as a reminder to appreciate what I have and become more present. To truly appreciate the wonderful joys that life has to offer that we can easily take for granted or miss in daily life.
• Connection... with others when we open up and share how we feel. The film 'Inside Out' is a wonderful example of this.
• Etc...

Fear can lead to...

• Courage... to feel the fear and do what we want anyway, recognising how brave we can be.
• Safety... so we can get ourselves out of risky situations if need be.
• Awareness... recognising our priorities and increasing our focus.
• Etc...

In other words it's not the hammer, it's the intention and action we choose to do with the hammer that's important. 

For too long certain emotions have been given a bad reputation, seen as something to be avoided whereas it's simply HOW we express them that's key. Expressing anger by dancing or painting how we feel is very different to punching someone in the face and spreading the anger further. The first transforms the energy, the second multiplies it.

So if anger (for example) isn't 'bad' why do we need to transform it? 

When we remain stuck and attached to certain emotions we interrupt the flow and they can build up within. A mild irritation at first may later become red hot rage if we don't see it for what it is, learn from it and express it in a healthy and productive way from the beginning. Plus I think most of us can agree that a little more peace, love and healing on this planet could be somewhat helpful!

It´s finding a balance, allowing ourselves to go with the flow, without remaining stuck to heavier emotions for too long. That's where NLP and the many other useful techniques and practices out there come in handy. Remaining stuck in certain emotional states can keep us demotivated, dis-empowered and affect our health.

Notice I use the word heavier instead of negative. If we label and judge certain emotions as negative, the more we interrupt the flow. Heavier emotions are the ones where we want to contract and withdraw... lighter emotions are the ones where we feel expansive and open.

By ignoring the knocking on the door of an emotion we miss the insight and gift... and it will only come back louder and stronger another time. 

As they say... what we resist, persists!

If we're learning something through the experience of an emotion can we really label that emotion as negative? Surely gaining new insights can be a wonderful thing, right?

So I wonder... what really lies beyond that door.

I'd love to hear from you, if you're experiencing a particular emotion what is it inviting you to connect with right now? What door is being presented to you? Let me know in the comment section below.

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3 Ways To Transform How You Feel Right Now

Looking up at the cool, star filled country night sky, I breathed a sigh of relief. 

It had been a hard 6 months. 

A breakup, work & money stresses and day to day life struggles. I was  burned out, ready for a change. It was this that led me to book a weekend retreat over a year ago. A weekend just for me on one of my favourite islands, Menorca, to unwind, learn, reflect and reconnect. 

When we get caught up in the daily grind we can forget how disconnected we become. Continuing to run in circles on a hamster wheel out of fear rather than take a moment to step off, regain our balance and reflect on what is necessary. 

Are you currently in a state of fear or LOVE? 

Is what you are doing right NOW absolutely necessary for your current or future health and well-being? 

If not, how can you readjust your priorities so that you continue contributing to your health and well-being?

Sometimes a check-in or reminder is all we need. Sometimes a break-state exercise can work wonders (keep reading for more), and sometimes we need a complete break. A break to press the 'reset' button so we can regain alignment, and leap forward into new exciting experiences and opportunities in our lives.

I know that when I have felt stressed, anxious or in a state of fear in the past my focus was simply out of alignment with what I wanted. I was focusing on what I feared most, listening to the Inner Critic's spew of hurtful comments and forgetting to connect with what truly fills me with joy. 

You see, we can create our emotional state. Anytime, anywhere. In fact we do it all the time... just most the time we are not conscious of it. Emotions don't just happen to us. It can feel like they do if we live our lives unconscious of our thought processes. With awareness though we can notice that by tracing out thoughts back after a particular emotion arises... there you have the answer. 

There you have the root cause. 

Click to Tweet: "When we choose to embrace ourselves, life can feel even better" Emma Bradford

There are many tools and techniques out there, it can be an overwhelming supermarket of self-awareness techniques. Which is why I have kept not all, though most of my focus on NLP. It works, it's simple and it gives us the emotional mastery tools that make any challenging situation so much easier to bear. 

That retreat a year ago on Menorca was one of the many experiences that inspired me to create my own so others could experience the same with some additional NLP techniques. If I could create a wonderful relaxing break PLUS the life tools to take home so to enjoy a happier, healthier life with less stress, now that would be something valuable indeed. 

And this is exactly what I have chosen to do. 

First, if you feel you need a SOS reset right now, feeling stressed and frazzled longing for an escape try one of these 3 BREAK-STATE exercises...

• Dance to your favourite song, not only does your moving body help your physical well-being it also releases feel good hormones boosting your emotional state. And not forgetting that music is a powerful, powerful healer.
• Take a brisk walk outdoors in nature, so you can soak up the negative ions (that are positive for the body). I don't know about you, I find it virtually impossible to not to feel grateful and uplifted when I'm surrounded by nature. Try it, you may you struggle to hold onto the stress too ;-)
• Close your eyes and think of something that helps you to feel happy and calm... this could be a memory, a time in your past where you experienced that emotion. See what you saw, hear what your heard and notice that feeling becoming stronger with every breath. Notice what you say to yourself when you feel happy and calm. If you could give this emotion a colour what would that be? Notice how things start to steadily transform as you imagine that colour flowing through and around your body.

I encourage you to find what works for you, find feel good activities that can give you an extra boost in a healthy and productive manner. Choose to consciously create how you want to feel. 

Yes, it's possible!

And if you'd like to discover specific NLP techniques to effectively manage your emotions, transform your relationship with yourself and that critical voice within all whilst enjoying the beautiful tranquil Menorcan surroundings get in contact. 

This retreat has only 7 places. If you want to be one of those lucky 7, visit my website for more information on prices and to reserve your place www.emmabradford.net or send me an email at info@emmabradford.net. Earlybird price closing date ends 15th March 2017!

It's time for some radical self-care lovely - let's make 2017 even better.

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