How We Can Transform Fear Into Love

I feel I write about this more and more lately, and it's too important to stop.

This time it came closer than ever. 

Barcelona, my home, my beautiful city was attacked. I was in shock when I first heard, and at the same time there was a feeling for a while that Barcelona might be a prime target with Las Ramblas welcoming millions of people every year.

It's with tears, deep sadness... yet a deep knowing and optimism that I wrote this following words to my dear Barcelona meetup members. I felt the need to share some words to my community, knowing some had to run for their lives, to show support, and however much or little we are connected to recent events - these words can be applied to virtually anything.

The shadow of this world is not easy to experience, yet we don't need to let it stop us from continuing to believe and act according to what many of us value in life - love & peace. Just as I say with the Inner Critic... let us observe, learn and continue regardless creating positive change as we do. 

Click to Tweet: "Seeing people's fearful actions doesn't give us permission to give up on our loving actions" Emma Bradford

It's challenging times like these that can bring up varied responses... naturally we're all different. Some use their anger and hate to fuel more hate and hurtful actions, others want to avoid talking about the challenging emotions all together and only talk about love and light. 

First let us remember this...

It's OK to experience sadness... let's use that sadness and transform it when we connect, find understanding and share support.

It's OK to experience anger... let's use that anger constructively to create meaningful actions and community projects that create positive change in society.

It's OK to experience fear and pain when we hear of events like these... let's use it as a reminder to reconnect with loving words and actions as much as possible and not remain stuck in the vibration of fear as we continue our lives.

There's a difference...

Experiencing and passing through certain emotions is completely different to brushing over and avoiding them because they are a 'lower' vibration. Spiritual bypassing gets us nowhere. Yes, as much as we connect to love the better... though without acknowledging the current situation as it is first and any emotions that may be present we miss a wonderful opportunity to transform the collective fear at many levels.

Some might say, we cannot transform something without knowing, acknowledging and understanding what we want to transform first. 

Emotions are fuel... let us USE the pain, anger and sadness we feel to propel us into creating more love in whichever way feels right for us.

• Acts of kindness to those in the streets, affected to show that despite fear, love remains.
• Volunteering and offering support... the plus side of Facebook is that there is a huge amount on offer right now for those in need in our city. Beautiful to see how the city is coming together.
• And simply by stepping out of our houses, regardless of any fear and continuing with our life because we believe in something better.
• And so much more.

We're in this together, whether we're from Barcelona or not. This is a worldwide issue. A doorway of opportunity is being opened to us now... as a society we are called to face, learn from and find the gifts in the shadow using our combined light. Rather than reject it completely.

This is both within ourselves at a personal level and in whats going on in the planet right now. 

Everything is connected. We're being called to bring more connection, understanding, peace and love into our daily lives and communities on a regular basis... not just when difficult times occur. 

Connection, support, conversation, positive action.

Let's do all that we possibly can to ACKNOWLEDGE what happens, LEARN from it and then bring even more LOVE into society... even if it's simply to offer support and comfort to those deeply affected by challenging events.

This is how we can transform fear into love.

Spreading the love further

Here are a few options to choose from if you wish to spread the love further...

I'd love to hear from you... what loving action will you take today?
Have a friend that would find this useful? Please spread the love and share this link.
Want more? Check out the latest post on how we can find the gifts in the shadow here.
Looking for Support? FREE online community here. 

I Was Guilty... & The Truth About The Search For Happiness

I wrote the majority of this post flying at 35,000ft.

It's often where I get my best insights and ideas.

This time I was fuelled, seeing a magazine article in the airport titled 'How To Be Happy Everyday'. Those of you in my Facebook Community 'Compassionate Inner Light' would have seen my Facebook post as it happened. 

Maybe I misunderstood the article.

Maybe I didn't.

Often though, articles like that bring more pressure than pleasure.

Yes, we are the ones that attach meanings to situations... yes we create how we feel. However I feel the need to clarify a few things because there are so many misconceptions and misleading articles. 

With 5 years of professional experience in the self-awareness world, I've seen a lot of rubbish out there and I've also seen many authentic, heart driven professionals. I've lost my way a few times too, trying to find the balance between putting the message out there without trying to make anyone feel broken. Sometimes successfully, sometimes not, and in the last year especially I've realised the importance of this. 

Professionals are not in charge of what the reader feels and what meanings they attach to things however I believe we have a responsibility to put out a message of hope, reassurance and support - emphasising that no one is broken. We may feel broken at times, though at our core, no one is. And it deeply saddens me that there can be individuals reading magazine articles like the one I saw, thinking 'I'm not happy every day... there's something wrong with me... I need what they're selling'.

Stop right there. 

There is nothing wrong if we don't feel happy ALL the time.

Click To Tweet: "We're not the emotions we feel... we're just experiencing them" Emma Bradford

For most of my life, I was caught up in what people call 'Spiritual Bypassing'. Only focusing on the light. Ignoring the shadow. Suppressing and ignoring heavier emotions. Probably why a few challenges came into my life to slap me in the face and 'wake me up' - so I could finally start acknowledging my fears.

I'll be honest, being a naturally optimistic person I still have my moments. Though thanks to NLP and great life challenges the steps towards wholehearted living are even more frequent. 

The most important being honesty with myself.

To live wholeheartedly avoiding spiritual bypassing doesn't mean we have to broadcast publicly every single time we feel an emotion (whether that's on social media or other) unless we feel called to do so.

What it means simply is being as authentic and honest as we can. Living with awareness towards our perfect messy humanness. To live wholeheartedly means that we acknowledge how we feel... being honest with ourselves and others, noticing, observing and expressing that as we feel the need, in a healthy way whether be it through creative activity such as (dancing, writing...) and/or heartfelt communication etc.

So that magazine article title got me thinking...

There's a HUGE difference between desperately searching for instant happiness every moment, running away from pain compared to creating long lasting satisfaction and happiness of life accepting the ups and downs.. 

1) Desperately searching for happiness, often invites us to use vices that bring only short lived pleasure or obsessively setting goal after goal seeking to improve our lives out of fear of where we are... never feeling happy with the current moment. "I'll be happy when I have___(fill in the blank)___". This state is fearful, future based and unappreciative of the gifts the present moment can bring.

2) Creating long lasting life satisfaction is actively connecting to what we love and what fills us with joy at a deep Soul level regularly. Engaging in uplifting activities that speak to us, and help us reconnect and enjoy life. Noticing what we feel grateful for, simple pleasures in life. This state is active, present and grateful.

Life has polarity.

We have Yin/Yang, night/day, light/dark. And I'm guessing it's so we can really appreciate one by experiencing the other. It's so we can really feel and learn from this human experience to the full, by appreciating all colours life has to offer. We can even see from recent films such as 'Inside Out'... Sadness has it's value.

In my humble opinion I believe much of life is about this fluidity, moving through the highs and lows finding our balance as we do. There's no need to remain stuck in heavier emotional states and fall victim to how we feel... blaming outside influences for it as we do.

That's where NLP comes in handy. We have the ability to influence how we feel anytime, anywhere. Remembering that we are not the emotions we feel... we are simply experiencing them.

There's also no need to suppress and ignore what the shadow brings up. This also includes constantly and obsessively using practises to feel happier and energised whilst ignoring the deeper messages challenging emotions have to offer. Spiritual Bypassing has long term consequences - I know... I'm still healing from years of it.

If you think you've been caught up in the desperate search for happiness or have been Spiritually Bypassing and feel the need to regain balance try this...

1. Be kind to yourself. We have all been there, it's ok. 
2. What fulfils you at a deep Soul level? What little things generate a sense of joy and satisfaction? Brainstorm a list, what I call the 'I love...' page. A few of mine would include cups of tea in the sunshine, flowers, taking photos of beauty in nature, listening to podcasts whilst creating in the kitchen, dancing like no one is watching etc.
3. Chose ONE thing from that list and bring it into your life regularly noticing how that feels as you do. One simple thing... daily or weekly... you choose. As some would say, we often give ourselves enough pressures and duties in life... life is simply about being authentic reconnecting to what we love. Remembering what fills us up from the inside out and living life according to our true self as much as we can.

Now I'd love to hear from you! In the comment section below let me know one thing on your 'I love...' page. Studies show stating new habits and goals out loud increase our chances of actually creating that shift.

Have a friend that would find this useful? Please share and spread the love even further :-)

More information and FREE downloads on my website www.emmabradford.net