Why I Deleted Instagram: The Spiritual Impact of Social Media

 (PART 1)

 

Last week I deleted my Instagram account (off my phone).

 

It became clear to me this summer, I needed change. For emotional, mental, physical wellbeing, and more importantly at a SPIRITUAL level.

 

Using social media for work, sharing events, connecting with students and clients, in this ever-increasing digital age – I believed I had to be on social media all the time.

 

And with the algorithm, Instagram certainly encourages regular use.

 

You get rewarded if you play by the rules, use the app every day and take part in trends. New tactics to keep people engaged so your posts get seen by more.

 

Thing is, the more I tuned in, the more I noticed, and the more I realised.

Technology can be a great help, and also, it’s an energetic portal. It amplifies energetically whatever is placed online. And it’s a place where you can give and receive energy at various levels, sometimes beneficial, other times less so. 

 

I’ll explain more.

 

(NOTE: If you’re well versed with the energetic world already, feel free to skip to part 2)

 

You see, everything in this life is made up of energy (quantum physics explains more), what you say, feel, eat, drink, post online etc, all holds a vibration.

 

There are things you see, touch and feel with your 5 senses, and also there are subtler frequencies that cannot be seen with physical eyes. Think about WiFi - you see the effect, right? You know it’s there, though most people don’t see data floating through the air with their physical eyes.

 

You have a physical body, and you have an energetic field made up of various layers - I won’t go into detail here, though for simplicity’s sake let’s call the energetic aspect of you, the Soul which animates your physical body. You have a name, a personality and body in this lifetime, yet you at your core are something so much more.

 

Depending on your beliefs (and it can be useful to reflect on different perspectives, even just for a moment) at your core, you never die. The physical body may be left behind, though on an energetic level you live on.

 

This physical life, right now is temporary.

 

Opening up to the world of energy is vast and often brings many questions, fears, beliefs etc. It’s not focused on much in mainstream society (even though it’s heavily studied and proven by scientific studies - specifically in quantum physics).

 

(PART 2)

 

I was brought up knowing about and working with energy from day one.

 

Understanding the depths of food energetics from both parents (my mother being a pioneer in this field with over 45 years’ experience and 9 books) and developing my skills as an intuitive through various modalities, I know deeply the world is not only what we see or sense physically.

 

This awareness and sensitivity were a challenge over the years which has since developed into one of my greatest strengths. Knowing what people are feeling before they say anything, receiving deep insights without looking for it, getting messages from people who have passed… and more.

 

I remember years ago, drawing a picture for someone, getting clear messages for specific things that made no sense to me whatsoever.

Asparagus, golden pocket watch, bookshelf, whiskey in a glass. What?

 

Later to find out that what I drew was a direct message for this person about their deceased father. He bought tinned asparagus for them every Christmas and drank a shot of whisky every evening whilst reading in his study.

 

My mouth dropped open when the person pulled out a golden pocket watch from their desk that they kept as a keepsake of him

 

I had no idea, yet I trusted what I felt energetically.

 

Why do I share this? 

 

We’re influenced by energy (many different forms) whether we’re aware of it or not.

Frequencies from phone masts, mobile phones, bluetooth, social media, news, collective focus and attention on specific things, people thinking about us, different environments etc. Some people are more sensitive to it than others, though we ALL have the ability to notice it.

 

How do you feel in a busy shopping street vs a quiet place surrounded by nature?

Have you ever walked into a room sensing tension in the air?

How do you feel after you scroll on social media?

 

What I’ve learnt over the years is the importance of grounding, watching what I consume (information, food, drink, environments etc) and connecting to what lights me up in life (a direct connection to my Soul).

I use social media (for various jobs) though over the years I’ve developed an unhealthy habit (like many) of using my phone in moments when I could develop more presence. Yes, even with all I know about the subconscious mind I found myself unconsciously scrolling.

“Work” was the excuse to be on the apps regularly and I found it hard to set boundaries whilst having (Instagram especially) on my phone. It became an unconscious habit that kept pulling me back, again and again.

 

Easy access for the Ego to play out subconscious patterns, rather than creating change.

 

(PART 3)

 

First let’s be clear, social media isn’t all bad, it can be used for wonderful things that create a positive impact. Whilst the following points focus more on the negative impact, to bring awareness, it’s important to remember there are benefits too and it can be used with balance for those who chose to do so.

 

I’ve also included some “TRY THIS” invitations after every point to invite change. These are an invitation, not a “must do” and please go at your own pace. It’s not about getting it perfect, doing everything right now. Simply a few reflection points or simple practical steps to shift the focus and step forward regarding social media if you choose.

 

These simple “TRY THIS” steps are a starting point and further steps and professional support may be needed for ingrained habits, though do not underestimate their power due to the simplicity.

DISCONNECTION FROM BODY & SOUL

Unintentionally wasting time through scrolling, disconnecting from body and Soul, therefore creating space for other energies to enter and influence. These apps place people in a hypnotic state so information embeds deeper into subconscious therefore making people more easily influenced.

 

Not just psychologically and emotionally, though also energetically. I won’t go into this in huge depth here though I’ve noticed energetic influences that gain from people entering this disconnected state. Resulting in the person lacking vitality, clarity and purpose in their life because they’re giving away their power to the app and energies connected to the apps without realising.

 

Of course, there is helpful content with information and practices that uplift and inspire the Soul too. Though the act of scrolling itself, isn’t helpful as it promotes disconnection. A perfect way to numb and zone out of the depth of this human experience, which can lead to lack of clarity, purpose and deeper meaning in life when done so regularly.

 

TRY THIS: Take a deep breath counting in slowly 1, 2, 3, 4… and out until 6. Back to the breath, back to the body. From here, place your hand over your heart, notice the rise and fall as you breathe in and out, that’s LIFE right there. Within you. Reconnect.

COMPARISON

Social media is a prime location for comparison between people to arise, sometimes even unconsciously. Though resulting in feeling a lack of self-worth and fulfilment, believing that other people’s lives are better when comparing your whole life to someone else’s curated highlights. This is also very prominent regarding body image too, especially with the increased use of filters.

 

I've noticed this arising personally seeing other coaches online who have way less experience, depth and qualifications yet seem to get more work and have thousands of followers because they’re better at marketing and are ok using the influencer model (posting about their lifestyle to gain more followers). I struggled with this as I do not want to share every aspect of my life online, nor do I want people to want to live exactly like me. I want people to reconnect to themselves and life.

 

TRY THIS: Place your right hand over your left shoulder, and your left hand under your right shoulder… offering yourself a gentle hug. Notice what shifts as you say to yourself “thank you for being YOU”.

JUDGEMENT, BLAME & EXPECTATIONS

Division between humans is common online, with complex issues becoming black and white, polarising people against each other (have you seen Social Dilemma on Netflix?).

 

Using social media for work, and having a following often brings the expectation that you need to speak about all world events also. Many expect you to not just be the professional of which you are trained in …though to also be an activist, influencer, friend, parental figure etc ...the list goes on.

 

I will absolutely speak up on important matters when it’s in alignment though I noticed my energy draining in this area as I cannot tend to every political topic on the planet, and nor should I need to. 

Though some expect this. 

I was also placing pressure on myself to keep up with society rather than holding space for my well-being (which helps me be of better service in the long term). I support some charities and causes and felt a pressure to post about it online with these expectations, though also recognised my boundaries and need to not post everything online.

 

Often the same energetic pattern is playing out on apps that is found in the world, people played like pawns on a chess board (again, if you haven’t seen Social Dilemma on Netflix, do). People being emotionally influenced regarding world events, resulting in turning towards each other, repeating the same energetic cycle of hate within the collective consciousness. And I noticed that in this online environment I was judging myself more too.

 

TRY THIS: What’s REALLY important for you in life, at the deepest core? What do you choose to give energy and attention to? What thoughts, words and actions reflect those core values? When you step away from the stories, and back to what truly drives behaviours (values) and see that in others too, things become clearer and more filled with compassion.

 

SUBCONSCIOUS WOUNDS

Social media can connect humans, AND it also energetically ties to unconscious wounds of the Ego. If an individual using social media has a childhood wound that hasn’t been tended to, it will play out.

Remember what I said earlier? Social media is a portal; it amplifies things energetically.

For example, if you have a rejection wound that’s overlooked, social media will highlight that. If you have a perfectionist streak, believing that nothing you do is enough. Social media will highlight that. This can create more anxiety for people as they unconsciously seek validation through social media to fill childhood wounds.

 

TRY THIS: Take a moment to reflect on what patterns have arisen when using social media. What do they say about unconscious childhood stories that need tending to? What “bucket” is looking to be filled and how can you do that in a conscious and constructive way? If you want extra support with this, 1:1 sessions are available.

 

A COLLECTIVE VISION BOARD

You’ve heard of a vision board, right? Creating a visual representative of what you want to call into your life, through magazine cuttings or online images so the subconscious mind can start bringing that into the present experience (along with belief work etc). Social media is like a collective online vision board.

Whatever humanity draws attention to through online posts, it collectively invites the shared focus to manifest more of that in the world. Shared, collective attention is incredibly powerful, it has the power to influence the world, for better or for worse. Quantum physics explains this further with the observer effect.

 

TRY THIS: What world do you want to see? Are your thoughts, words, actions and what you share online in alignment with that? Can you find a song, image or phrase that represents that to support your vision and daily expression?

 

SHORTENED ATTENTION SPAN & AI

Instagram was primarily used for photos. Now the algorithm favours short, concise videos which help to shorten attention spans. In NLP we use short moving images, repetition and break states to reprogram the subconscious mind and rewire new neural pathways for positive change.

The way Instagram is designed, it does the same, though depending on what content you consume, this can bring positive or negative effects.

For content creators, many have moved to posting videos rather than photos because they get a better reach - which if you’re running a business you need. Thing is, by uploading more and more video footage, of yourself, you are giving more data of gestures, mannerisms, voice, facial expressions etc for AI development.

 

Some say this is a good thing, though to be aware of the possible consequences is important. There are already AI generated videos of individuals saying things they never said. If you’re running a business this is problematic, and energetically it is too.

 

TRY THIS: Switch short form content to more long form content. Creating an identity around this can help as well seeking accountability with loved ones or a professional. Notice what changes when you say “I don’t watch reels anymore” vs “I shouldn’t / need to stop / have to stop / can’t watch reels anymore”. The first statement is an identity statement, it’s decisive and clear which helps to direct behaviour. When something becomes part of who you are, it’s a lot easier to stick to, especially with accountability - language matters! I used this for YouTube shorts and haven’t watched one in over 3 years!

 

(PART 4)

 

And the list goes on, not to mention questionable ethics of corporate giants etc.

 

Though I mention it again, social media or the corporate giants that create them are not necessarily the sole villain here.

 

We need to take responsibility for how we live our lives, what’s helpful and what is and isn’t (for us as individuals).

 

I knew before, though this summer I felt it deeply, I cannot complete what I've come here to do at a Soul level by how I have been using social media until now.

 

• It was distracting me from myself, my true self.
• It was wasting precious time that I could be using to create new projects and ideas that I have yet to birth.
• It was an excuse of the Ego to avoid the depths of the Soul.

I'm not saying goodbye to Instagram or other platforms completely, though taking a break from having my work account on my phone, and saying goodbye to unnecessary scrolling.

 

Using that “TRY THIS” tip from above …I now affirm,” I don’t do endless scrolling”.

 

Allowing my energy field to be filled once again with my whole being, not other energies that influence and drain me.

Looking after myself physically, mentally, emotionally and SPIRITUALLY.

Things that help…

• Time in nature and connection with my body.
• Getting back into reading good books again, fewer screens in the evening and early morning.
• Seeing the bigger picture, listening to my intuition, and guidance from my Soul.
• Creating more intentional space for myself, slowing down, giving myself permission to rest.
• Cutting energetic ties, placing boundaries, holding a firm intention whenever I enter platforms.

Not doing this perfectly by any means, though the intention is there and I’m really enjoying the gifts this new step forward is bringing so far.

 

More peace.

More calm.

More presence.

More time.

 

I may pop in occasionally on Instagram, though for now, I'm creating space and loving it. Focusing my attention on the monthly email shares, blog posts like these, Insight Timer meditation app and on my Telegram channel.

Do you struggle with social media?

What helps you find balance? I'd love to hear.

And as always, 1:1 sessions continue online, worldwide - more info here.

Struggles, The Self Awareness Industry & How I'm Finding Balance

10 years in the self-awareness industry professionally (and many more personally) and I’ve continuously reflected on the light and shadow within this field.



What works, what doesn't, what feels authentic, what doesn't.



Blame, gaslighting, abuse when in the wrong hands... and also support, information, insight, comfort, healing, community and more when used with integrity.

 

If you’ve studied with me or listened to Episode 1 (Podcast) you would have heard about these struggles which led me to almost quit my work 6 years ago... and also led me to create Wholehearted NLP (heart centred NLP trainings) for many years.


Whilst my work has shifted slightly (hello art, dance and creativity!) my continuous reflection on how to navigate this work ethically, responsibly and sustainably has always remained.

• How can I let people know about the support I offer in a way that is uplifting and inspiring rather than playing on pain points and struggles they may have?

• How can I use online marketing and social media in a way that supports and uplifts and also honours my boundaries and wellbeing rather than following trends and pushy sales?

I've done some things well, many things not so well and I've learnt a HUGE amount along the way.

10 years ago, I could post a title for an event on meetup and have 40 people attending with zero marketing.

Nowadays with the sheer amount of events, coaches, options, freebies, courses in the world means so many are overwhelmed, attention spans have reduced (thanks instagram reels, shorts and TikTok!), commitment levels and responses have shifted and many struggle to even keep up with basic daily communications and tasks.

This has meant many businesses over the years have looked for new ways to get noticed among the sea of options in order to continue their work - which led to many using aggressive pain point marketing tactics.



Point out the problem, and provide the solution.



I'm sharing all of this as I want to be as transparent as possible. Where I've been, what I'm focused on and how I'm navigating things as best I can so to continue offering support ethically and sustainably.

Whilst overall I feel I've kept the heart as a core focus of my work, there are things I have been reflecting on that I can improve. Not because anyone has said anything recently - they haven't - though because it's my priority to continue checking in, learning and improve how I work.

MY AIM IS TO

1) Be authentic, whilst also honouring my boundaries as I share online.

To share truths, vulnerabilities yet not need to use that as a way to grab attention and make money from it. Some professionals share every single aspect of daily life and I'm not one of them. I don't want to encourage people to continuously check for updates taking their attention away from real life.

• Why do I need to take Instagram photos of my breakfast to publicise my work?

• Why do I need to spill every personal detail online in order to get my posts seen by more?

When I'm not online I want to be in the moment LIVING and I encourage others to do the same. I'm aware this choice can affect my business. I’m aware of the value the online world can offer, connection it can bring, and that people want to connect to the real person (not the polished version) something I can improve on further. I’m also mindful of my boundaries for wellbeing too. I’ve tried many times having social media apps continuously on my phone and it doesn't work for me personally. 

At the time of writing this I have Instagram and Facebook content posted by my social media assistant. It's still my content and words though she posts it on my behalf and time to time I pop in to respond to messages and comments and post the odd story on Instagram. 

This format could change in the future, at the moment it's what works for me so I can focus my time and energy on sessions, trainings, podcast and creative projects. I love connecting to students online and in person (love receiving your messages and emails!) though posting instagram stories every single day doesn't feel authentic right now.



2) Celebrate myself as a woman, whilst honouring what feels good to post in regards to photos of my body.

Pictures of me get more engagement than any other post that I post. This frustrates me as I wish it was more about my words, my work than my body or face grabbing attention.

Many like a picture and ignore the description and scroll past. I'm mindful about what feels good, respectful towards myself. I don't want to sexualise myself in order to sell my work, yet I also see the power in women celebrating their bodies too - especially to help rewrite patriarchal views.

I’ve received many undesirable comments online from some men (not all - there are many respectful, conscious men out there too) over the years simply because I’m a woman posting publicly. Self-expression, allowing myself to be seen and also having strong boundaries is important.



3) Discern what aspects of social media communication feels good and not follow trends if it doesn't feel aligned - even if it means a drop in engagement.

Social media platforms change the algorithms all the time, engagement can drop by half just because you decide you don't want to be on the app every single day and join the daily reel club and encourage the shortening of attention spans with 3 second reels on a daily basis.

How social media is evolving is concerning for mental health and wellbeing of humanity if we don’t bring conscious awareness to how we use social media mindfully.

I now have questions that I ask myself as filters to discern if whatever I post is useful, uplifting, promoting reconnection to ourselves, our body, others, nature, and the divinity in life (the 5 points of Creating Change) whilst also honouring my creative expression.

Doesn't mean I'll never post reels again, though I won't follow trends blindly without questioning and listening within first.



3) Not to have main focus on aggressive pain point marketing.

How things are worded is important and the old marketing trick of pointing out all the problems and selling the solution is one that sells though can also be a slippery slope.

I’m continuously asking myself how can I inspire, uplift and support through my words. To communicate what I offer support in (so people know what I do) whilst reminding people that they are perfectly whole, beautiful and capable already.

This has been one of the most challenging aspects of this work and industry. I've learnt some lessons along the way and often steer towards not focusing on selling at all which is not sustainable for me if my work is to continue... some marketing and sales is necessary.



4) Prices are now visible on my website.

I hid some prices for certain services for years, and clients needed to get in contact for more information so I could talk to them first before I gave the information. I now see this wasn't being fully transparent. I take responsibility and have changed that and all prices are now visible.



5) I'm not the cheapest yet I don't charge thousands.

Pricing of private sessions in the online self-awareness (and especially coaching) world has become out of hand in some respects. Do I only want to serve the rich in the western world? No.

I believe in making things as affordable as possible whilst also making it sustainable for me to keep this work going. What many don't realise when they see a per session or per hour price tag is the sheer volume of work that goes on behind the scenes aside from sessions to keep the business running is HUGE. 1:1 sessions make up a very small part of this work. 

Making things affordable and also sustainable is important so I can continue providing support well into the future and also fund the free content that I offer (that's not free for me to produce) such as the podcast. Podcasts, even though they are free to listen to, they cost money to produce.

Therefore I have payment plans, products with smaller price points and plenty of free content for those who can't afford 1:1 sessions or courses right now.



7) Continue offering a money back guarantee so client’s needs are covered and they always have a choice. I've always had this for sessions and this will continue also for trainings.



8) Make it clearer when sharing testimonials.

That testimonials are from personal experiences from clients and students only and cannot guarantee the same outcome for others. It’s important as consumers to remember this whilst looking at testimonials and reviews online, it's one person's experience.



9) Listen to what feels good to my Soul above all.

To follow that inner knowing and to always honour that as I move forward with my work rather than following what others in the industry do.



10) Check in more often with clients and students.

Trainings will have check in / feedback forms at the middle of the training as well as the end so any issues or unmet needs can be dealt with during the training. Also, regular check ins with clients to make sure they are getting what they signed up for.



11) Be mindful of privilege.

I cannot understand fully what it means to live life in certain minority groups as I come from a very privileged background. Though I can bring sensitivity and awareness to it as much as I can.

We can influence our reality, we can transform how we choose to experience things in life, yet that doesn't mean that we will all live on super yachts with millions. We can manifest things, our mindset and beliefs can impact our life experience significantly AND cultural challenges, minority challenges are real too.

I’ve always had the perspective that anything is possible... yet sometimes the Soul or challenges faced in different cultures and minority groups can bring a different path compared to what the Ego desires. Doesn’t mean we can’t make the most of a situation or bring about change, though I'm bringing it to my attention to be more sensitive to this.



12) Remind people they are whole and complete already.

In this industry (especially with NLP) there is often the perspective about needing to clear away limiting beliefs seeing them as 'bad' and that we need 'fixing'. Thing is, it's more about reconnecting rather than fixing anything. Coming back to the authentic self, back to the Soul rather than creating a new version according to the Egoic mind. 

Yes, letting go of a limiting belief can be useful, though it's more about recognising what already lies within. This has always been my focus with Wholehearted NLP trainings. I taught students to gain the message from emotions first before running to techniques to shift it, to find the gifts in present day life too, rather than solely focus on future goals. 

When used with integrity NLP is always about returning to wholeness, recognising the wholeness that is already present. If NLP practitioners truly use the NLP presuppositions given on trainings as a guide this will be present. This perspective will continue and grow and evolve with Creating Change and my other work.



All of these points, and more... I'm still navigating.



I share this not to paint a perfect picture (I’m far from perfect). Though to share what’s been a continuous journey and how it’s been evolving. What I’ve struggled with and how I’m navigating it.

 

An important topic for both professionals AND consumers.

Professionals to be responsible, ethical and transparent as possible AND for consumers to also take responsibility and discern and not place teachers on pedal stools. To listen to their truth ultimately and make decisions based on that.

Every person is human - if you haven't seen yet the documentary called Kumaré, I highly recommend it. My students and meetup members loved it when we discussed it many years ago - it brings up some very important points!

In society often there's a lot of finger pointing. Blaming and seeing someone, a business, a government, or an organisation as the 'bad guy'. Yes there are a lot of questionable things going on in the world - not just in the self-awareness industry. 

That doesn't give permission to hand over power and continue playing the victim. 

You, me, and everyone else are ultimately responsible for our personal choices, actions, purchases and words. 

I'm still learning (plenty to improve!) and I invite you to reflect on these words too... whether you're a professional or consumer. 

Discern, take responsibility and remember the heart.

Anything you think I´ve forgotten?

I’d love to hear your thoughts (whether you’re a consumer or professional) every voice matters. Leave a comment below.

Thank you for reading and for being you!

With love, Emma.

Found this useful? Share, spread the love. Every share makes such a difference!

Want more? Join the monthly email here and listen to the podcast here.

How To Gain True Life Satisfaction

Life. 

Duality. 

I was reminded of this a few weeks back, celebrating the success of my recent NLP Graduate students - what an awesome group! And the same week hearing news of a friend that unexpectedly passed away. 

On one hand I wanted to jump for joy and celebrate the success of my students... on the other I wanted to cry, grieve - shocked at the sudden news of my friend. 

It was a BIG reminder on how valuable life is, and how we can take it for granted. 

Hours passing by scrolling Facebook or taking the 100th photo for the perfect Instagram selfie. I read a post once by Karly Nimmo who has a two shot rule. She won't take more than two photos - and then one of those gets posted. 

Or perhaps we binge eat, binge watch Netflix, use alcohol or smoking to disconnect from pain we may be feeling.

If endless social media or another vice really fulfills us deeply then by all means we can continue as long as it doesn't harm our health. More often than not it doesn't fulfill us in the long term - if we're really honest with ourselves, we're looking for something else deep down. 

Love, belonging, connection, acceptance, excitement, variety, significance... the list goes on.

It's when we move through challenges, finding insights and learning from those moments that we transform the need to stick a 'Netflix plaster' over how we feel. 

There can be ups and downs. 

Life can bring moments of joy and love... and moments of anger and grief. Much of how we experience things is to do with what stories we tell ourselves about things. Whether we're conscious of this or not. Our thoughts & beliefs create the frustration, struggle, stress and more. Sometimes we may not want to acknowledge this, because when we do we can't point the finger anymore. We're responsible. 

For our life.

How we choose to live it. 

Whilst we may not be able to directly change all circumstances in the world and other peoples behaviour. One of our greatest gifts in life is that we have the gift of choice. Choice on what actions we take or don't take. How we choose to respond to things and see situations. 

And this needn't mean an overwhelming list of do's and don'ts, feeling angry with ourselves if we are triggered yet again by a particular person or situation. Or feeling pressure to create big changes out of fear, setting goals looking for perfection as we believe it will bring a sense of belonging, rather than out of love for ourselves and our future.

Choice can simply mean choosing to make most of the simple little things. To really LIVE this life we are living in this human experience. 

For example...

• Stepping outside and breathing deeply rather than take our freedom to do this as granted.
• Observing the beauty of a flower rather than hurriedly pass it by.
• Closing our eyes and feeling the sunshine on our skin rather than think about endless to do lists.
• Hearing the sounds that surround us as individual sounds of a larger orchestra rather than noise.
• Noticing what we say to our self when we reconnect to the beauty of life in this way rather than beat ourselves up.

The list is endless. 

There are many options and choices available. 

Let's start with small, micro actions and experiences. It can be the small and simple things that often are the most powerful and beneficial.

I wonder... how many valuable things can we experience today?

Now I'd love to hear from you: What little blessing do you notice right now in your experience? Let me know in the comment section below. And join us in the online community.

Have a friend that would find this useful? Offer a supportive hand and share this post.

And if you want more information on trainings and how you can transform your life experience using NLP with heart - check out the latest trainings here.