3 Common Hidden Desires Behind Emotional Food Cravings

Our emotional state is a powerful thing... especially if we allow it to guide us rather than learning from it and directing it.

It can make or break situations, propel us forward and try new things or make us want to hide away and avoid the world. 

It can help us manifest what we want or don't want.

It can also affect our relationship with food.

How often have we eaten more when we're stressed? How often have we felt low, down in the dumps or simply bored and can't seem to stop craving and/or eating certain foods?

Whilst yes, the physical body may guide you at times if its lacking certain vitamins or minerals and will do so by craving certain foods. What often happens though, is when we crave foods the actual food is not what we are really looking for. 

We can tell the difference between a physical need and emotional need by the nature of the situation. Tracing our thoughts and emotions back noticing how they developed as that food craving arose. We can ask ourselves...

What was I thinking and feeling before that craving occurred?

How am I feeling now as I crave that food? 

Some may notice that just before a food craving arose that there were feelings of boredom or a heavy emotional state for example. Notice the thoughts too... often there is 'negative' self-talk. Yes our thoughts create and influence how we feel! (More on emotions here). 

A question we can ask ourselves is...

"Hmm I wonder, what am I really craving?"

In many ways, NLP is above all a curious mindset. It puts us in the driving seat, helping us to become aware of so many choices and possibilities. It infuses curiosity about ourselves, others and life. 

An example of this curious mindset is when I was on the beach in Menorca. There were some unisex toilets, and a queue of people waiting assuming that 'shut door = its occupied'. Out of nowhere this little boy walked all the way to the front of the queue and opened the door to the toilet and stepped inside. It was empty after all much to the surprise of those in the queue! This is what I mean by the curiosity. Its a questioning, a wondering, and a childlike inquisitive mind discovering what is really going on in the situation (not what we assume is happening), what options are available and using that information to take action. 

Are we looking to feel a comforting emotion to help lift you out of the boredom and low mood? This is a common reason why many people crave certain foods that remind them of comforting times during childhood. They are simply trying to connect to that feeling.

Of course we can enjoy comfort food from time to time, and of course it's wonderful to reconnect with old recipes and dishes we used to love. What is unhelpful though is continuing a regular pattern of using food to feed us the emotions that we wish to feel. Especially if they are junk food items or foods that are unhelpful to our physical health. We'll feel rubbish about eating it afterwards if we do so on a regular basis and beat ourselves up about it. Not the most helpful action. Thus creating a continuous cycle of more emotional food cravings. 

So if we want to curb the cravings, we can use our inquisitive skills and ask ourselves... "Hmm I wonder, what am I really craving?" Because there is a hidden goal, a hidden positive intention. And quite often if we're feeling unhappy and unfulfilled, searching for comfort food, there are 1 or more of the 6 Basic Human Needs (especially the three in pink) that we are searching for unconsciously...

1. Feeling a sense of Love, Belonging & Connection to others
2. Feeling Significant and that we are recognised for things
3. Having a sense of perceived Certainty, feeling safe and secure
4. Experiencing a sense of Variety
5. Feeling a sense of Growth as an individual
6. Feeling that we are Contributing to the lives of others

Once we know what we're are really looking for, we can then brainstorm other ways to bring that feeling into our life, therefore helping to reduce the cravings for unhelpful foods. For emotional food cravings often it's when we feel alone, sad, rejected etc (looking for love and belonging), when we feel anxious uncertain (looking for comfort and a perceived sense of certainty) or when we feel bored (looking for a sense of variety, satisfaction, excitement and adventure in life). 

For example... if we find that what we're really looking to feel is a sense of perceived certainty, then we can find other ways to help us feel supported, safe and comfortable without using food. For example; creating the most comfortable environment we can at home or by calling a dear friend and asking for help during a time of uncertainty. CONSTRUCTIVE comfort rather than destructive comfort.

Another way to transform our emotional state is to bring our attention 100% to the present moment, breathe deeply, raise our arms up above our head, tilting the head up and closing our eyes as we continue to breathe and focus on our breath. Almost as if we have just won a race and someone captured a photo of us passing through the finish line as we truly felt that moment. This is a called a Power Pose and we can understand why it's called that as we bring it into our life on a regular basis. (For the science behind the pose click here).

Now its your turn. 

What are you really craving and how will you fulfil that need without using food? Use the space in the comment section below to state your new actions and kick start yourself into a healthier relationship with yourself and food.

Have a friend who is struggling with emotional food cravings or simply needs an extra boost of energy? Offer a helping hand and share this post. 

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Dancing To Success

Yes inspiration and wisdom can sometimes come from the most unexpected sources! I find often its more an attitude; if we are open, receptive and curious we can gain the most valuable insights from what we experience in life. This song below reminds me of my beautiful sister, who was the person that introduced me to my first official 5 Rhythms dance class many years ago. It was from 5 Rhythms that I discovered the power of movement and how it can positively affect our emotions. 

I often talk about the MIND/BODY connection in workshops and meetup practice groups...we know through NLP and many other documented studies over the years that the mind can affect the physical and emotional bodies. What we believe and focus our attention on grows and can alter how we feel both physically and emotionally. 

Don't take my word for it - experience it for yourself! Try focusing the next 15 seconds on a memory where you felt so much excitement, happiness and joy that you were literally jumping for joy and grinning ear to ear. As you breathe into this start to notice what changes with your posture, energy levels and breath etc...your physical and emotional bodies are responding to your thoughts. 

Also through the research of TED speaker Amy Cuddy and many other studies we know that our body can also affect our thoughts and emotions. What postures we hold ourselves in can in turn either create feelings of confidence and high level of self esteem or it can make us feel more introverted and lacking in confidence. Everything is connected. Whether we choose to use this wisdom or not is up to us. 

So if you're starting this year with new goals and you're noticing a few limiting beliefs or fears cropping up, I challenge you this month to use your body alongside other techniques to help propel you to success. 

For example...

You may have the goal to start meditating this year and as you try, you notice limiting beliefs coming up such as 'I cant do it', 'Its boring', 'Its too hard'. 

Challenge those beliefs by finding evidence in your life for the opposite positive belief and/or possible solutions...

'I can do it, I tried a new skill of salsa dancing last year and succeeded'

'There are many different meditation techniques out there, I'll find something fun or an app to get me started'

'If its so hard why are so many people doing it? What will make it easier for me?'

Alongside that use your body and literally 'shake off' any fears or doubts. 

By doing something physical, shaking off any unhelpful emotions, you can then help your mind to 'shake off' the fears and beliefs. Scientifically speaking, the exercise will help raise your levels of Serotonin, Endorphins and Dopamine (the feel good hormones) which in turn help you to feel better about yourself and starting a new goal. It will literally be that kick start to get you going. Not only that, it can also help you to bounce back easily with kindness for yourself if ever you get lost along the way. 

The MIND/BODY connection is a wonderful thing. Next time you you feel resistance, fear, doubts, or anger about a challenge/upsetting situation, use this connection to your advantage. Notice what shifts with your thoughts, emotions and physical body as you do this. 

You don't even need to go to a dance class. Its not about constraining ourselves by learning specific steps*...its about letting go...dancing from within as if no one is watching. And for that, all you need is your body...and maybe a few funky beats ;-)

Try it this month, shake off the fears, shake off the frustration and shake into the success you desire. 

See you on the dance floor! 

*Depending on the type of dance obviously!

The Power Of One Simple Word...

'Prepare for the worse case scenario'...'Don't get your hopes up'...

How many of these phrases have you heard throughout your life so far? 

Whilst being aware of the consequences (i.e. checking Ecology as we call in in NLP) is extremely helpful...sometimes if we place too much emphasis on what we don't want...what could 'go wrong'...or what we are missing...we simply affirm to ourselves and others to bring us in life more of what we don't want. 

After all the grass is greener where we water it. In other words where we place our attention, our focus, our energy...that area continues to grow. 

Sonia Choquette, an Intuitive Spiritual Teacher has always emphasised the power of the word 'Wonder'. 'I wonder...' opens up possibilities, connects with our creativity and imagination to start creating what we desire.

For example, imagine that there are two friends...friend A and friend B:

Friend A starts the day waking up thinking 'Oh crap, another miserable day I bet I'll get stuck in traffic again, and I bet that my boss will be in another of his bad mood as always...etc etc'

Friend B starts the day waking up and thinking 'I wonder what wonderful things will happen today...'

Essentially what friend B is doing is exercising their creativity, imagination, and having fun in the process. They are also telling their RAS (Recticular Activating System) what they want to focus on and what they wish to experience. Friend A is also communicating with their RAS, however to create different outcomes...by telling their RAS to find more of what they don't want.

In NLP we talk about the RAS, a part of our brain as it is fundamental in goal setting. It acts as a filter between the conscious and unconscious mind, acting as a faithful servant to our thought process. If we feed it with positive thoughts, it will set out to prove those true, just as if we were to feed it limiting thoughts such as 'Nothing is going right...I'm going to have a crap day´ it will also set out to prove those true. Our RAS cannot differentiate between positive and negative. It simply acts like a dog finding the ball its master has thrown out there...it fnds the evidence and brings it to our attention. 

This is not to say that you will completely cease to have any challenges, set backs or disappointments by starting the day this way...they can still come into our lives as they do with anyone. It simply means you will start noticing more of the 'wonderful moments' and yes in turn attract more into your day to day life as you begin to shift your focus. 

So notice what kind of day you could have if you fed your RAS with thoughts like "I wonder what wonderful things will happen today..." 

Your RAS will start bringing to your attention little surprises and wonderful pleasures of life and as you bring your focus to these areas and that your beliefs are aligned...you will start attracting even more into your life.

Notice what wonderful, little treasures come into your life when you start the day with wonder...its a lot more fun thinking that way too ;-) 

Happy November!

The Real Meaning Behind Unwanted Emotions

If we didn't have moments of doubt, fear or sadness what would we have to compare the happy moments against?

Would we truly appreciate the happy times without the challenges?

I know for one that any challenges I experienced previously, acted among many things as a reminder to appreciate what I have and become more present. This helped me to really appreciate the wonderful joys that life has to offer.

As with anything it´s about finding a balance, allowing ourselves to go with the flow, and also using our skills whether be it with NLP or other, to keep us from remaining in heavier states for too long. A little bit can help us value the happier times and gain positive learnings; too much can keep us stuck and demotivated.

Isn't that the meaning after all of a heavier emotional state - to remind us that something is not quite right, that we need to shift something in order to return to alignment and feel happier again?
Notice that I use the word heavier instead of negative...if we label and judge them as negative, the more difficult it can be to shift to a happier state.

What we resist, persists!

By simply allowing ourselves to acknowledge the emotion, allow it to pass without judgement through observation of how it feels or through positive activities such as dancing, painting, singing etc we can gain positive learnings and change state more easily.

If we are learning something through the experience can we really label it as negative?

More thoughts on emotions soon!!

 Copyright © Emma Bradford 2016

Welcome!

I was talking with a loved one the other day about a few insights I had whilst watching the surfers on Badalona beach, and he inspired me to share my thoughts in the form of a blog.

In 2009 I started researching and attending workshops, making huge shifts in my personal and professional life, changing career path from the Textile Furnishing Industry to what I really feel passionate about - helping others to experience the life they deserve. 

Since qualifying as a NLP practitioner, and then later Master Level, I feel more empowered and at ease, having used NLP to overcome previous panic attacks and fears, I now share my skills with others. 

For quite a few years now I have scribbled down many thoughts, moments of inspirations, questions that I have pondered, or useful bits of information I have picked up along the way in becoming a NLP Coach.

Through that conversation the other day, I realised how these thoughts were so much more useful if shared. It seemed selfish to keep them hidden in a drawer collecting dust when who knows somebody else may find something useful for their current life situation. 

So here we go! 

It has been a wonderful journey so far and I know this is just the beginning...the best is yet to come! Thank you for joining me on this beautiful road, together we will use those bumps and experiences along the way as stepping stones into a greater, brighter future for all, reminding ourselves and others that anything is achievable...as in the words of Audrey Hepburn "Nothing is impossible, even the word itself says I´m Possible."

Best wishes,

Emma

 Copyright © Emma Bradford 2016

Disclaimer: This blog contains thoughts and opinions expressed by myself, other individuals along with links to other websites. Please use your own discernment related to all material and always seek advice from a health care professional for serious health concerns.