Reconnecting With LIFE

For the last few years, each summer I do the same thing.

Social media break for the ENTIRE month. 

To be honest, every time I reconnect after the break, I feel reluctant to start again because it feels so good to switch off!

Not that useful for online business owners, though the good thing is, each time I return my boundaries are firmer, my priorities in life are clearer and moving forward I use social media more and more for work only.

With much of the world online nowadays it can be challenging for businesses, social life and more if we're not connected online. 

 

Especially this year. 

 

Social media has been an easy way to remain connected with loved ones during times of physical distance. It's great for keeping in contact, learning new things and spreading the word.

 

Social media is also designed to attract our attention and fulfil many needs. In fact, it touches upon all 6 of the 6 Basic Human Needs which is why it can be so addictive…

 

• Love and Connection – Connecting and sharing with loved ones 
• Significance – Receiving likes, comments and emojis 
• (Perceived) Certainty – Logging in each time knowing where certain things are, the same icons appear, familiar colours and logos
• Uncertainty (Variety) – Scrolling with new news updates, new emojis and backgrounds to use
• Growth – Learning new things about people and the world
• Contribution – Offering support to others, helping non-profits, providing a service

 

Notice how many social media apps fulfil each of these needs… albeit sometimes in a rather superficial, distant way compared to in person heartfelt connection.

Despite the companies best efforts to capture our attention we can create a healthy balance being mindful of how we use it and how they entice us.

 

It’s possible.

 

Ever wondered why they choose the colour RED for notifications and not another colour? Red is often considered the colour of urgency, enhancing that desire to click quick to find out who has commented or liked or messaged.

Though by being aware of the ‘shadow’ of social media we can place healthy boundaries and decide what usage works for our health and well-being.

Personally, total breaks work really well for me, especially during holiday season. This year reflecting on what I’ve learnt I thought to share some of these insights in case anyone else feels inspired to take a break or wants some tips on how to do it.

 

Benefits…

• I felt more present, observing the beauty around me.
• I had more time for other things… way more time.
• I opened up space to learn from within and from nature.
• I was creating conscious connection... mindfully choosing who and what to enter my energetic field.
• Any residual anxiety from this year’s events reduced significantly.
• Greater stillness, calmness and relief.
• Deeper connection to self, few trusted loved ones, nature and LIFE itself.
• Expanded awareness of past actions and choices.
• Moments of boredom, which were the birthplace for creativity to arise.
• Flexibility, finding other ways to connect with loved ones, find news and spend my time.
• Patience.
• Non attachment.
• My health improved significantly being away from phones and screens.
• Increased satisfaction with the little (BIG) things in life, the gifts that surround us in every moment.
• I felt lighter.
• My attention span increased for other activities or when I simply wanted to BE.

 

And much more…

 

It was interesting, initially I noticed the unconscious habit with my hands automatically searching for app without thinking. A clear sign how ingrained the habit of checking social media had become. This was made easier to break by deleting the relevant apps and reorganising the main screen on my phone.

 

Pattern interrupt.

 

This is what we talk about in NLP – finding ways to interrupt the strategies we have for unwanted habits. Always pressing on the snooze button each morning? I wonder what happens when the alarm is placed in a different location so the unconscious mind doesn’t have it so easy to repeat the same habit?

I also noticed that I can survive perfectly fine, have a social life and continue to learn and grow without my mobile and certain apps on a regular basis. Going mobile free for periods of time is highly beneficial.

 

Mobiles and apps are useful… and there is still REAL LIFE around us too.

 

Life is beyond the screens.

Want to take a break though not sure how to start to make it last?

• Decide which apps you want a break from. Are you prone to scrolling? Or constantly checking messages? A social media break doesn’t mean everything at once – find what works for you.
• Decide on a time frame. You may want a big break like I did or simply for a few days. If you use social media for work pick the best times for you to take a break without affecting your work significantly.
• Social accountability can work wonders for goal setting and support. Each break I take I announce it online for a few reasons…

1. My clients, meetup members and students follow me online so I want them to be aware that during a certain time frame I’ll be responding to emails only.
2. I want to encourage others to take the break if they feel the need.
3. By announcing it online I have created social accountability, therefore if ever I desire to quickly check messages (which rarely happens as it feels so good to switch off) I remind myself that people expect me to be offline during that time so that acts as motivation to stay offline.

• Delete the relevant apps off your phone, reorganise the main screen to interrupt any old habits.
• Find ways to remain connected with loved ones. Social media break doesn’t need to mean being disconnected completely. Arrange that skype call, call a friend, post a letter and keep connected with loved ones you trust and value.
• Start a new hobby, book, puzzle or practice.
• Be mindful of the 6 Basic Human Needs. If social media fulfils many of the 6 basic human needs, being aware of this can be useful in mindfully fulfilling these needs elsewhere in a constructive, healthy way.

 

Have you had a social media break?

What did you learn? I'd love to know.

I’ll be announcing some classes and training's very soon to transform our relationship with emotions and negative self-talk, make sure you’re signed up to my newsletter to receive the updates if you’re taking a social media break!

You Already Have What You Want

Chatting with a loved one not long ago, it suddenly clicked. I realised how blind I had been regarding a particular area in my life. 

Overlooked. 

And I wondered how many others do this too?

How often do we want something in our life, set goals, go out to achieve certain things... focusing on what we don't have right now and 'oh how great my life will be WHEN I have__X__'. That statement is limiting us from enjoying life before achieving __X__.

If we expand our perspective we may actually realise we have much of what we want already. Perhaps not in the way we expected it to show up, still, often it's there. 

We already have the love, money, health, success  (whatever it is that we're looking for) in other ways already. 

Just because something isn't showing up in the way that we want it or the way we expected it to show up... doesn't mean it's not there. It doesn't give us permission to dismiss all of the gifts within our human experience already. 

If we want LOVE in our life, and feel jealous, irritated, sad, lonely when we see people loved up in the streets are we really lacking love in our life? Just because we may not have it in the way that we want it, doesn't give us permission to completely ignore the love we receive in life already. 

It's there. 

How often do we ignore, push away or reject the love that comes to us? For example, when somebody gives us a compliment... do we fully receive it? Or do we push it away and reject it reaffirming the opposite? 

"That's a nice colour on you" 

"Oh this old thing? You haven't seen the stain on the back"

Pushing away love right there. 

If we want MONEY and financial abundance in our life, feeling restricted, resentful, angry at the 'lack' that we see... are we really lacking abundance in our life? Just because we don't have it in the way that we want it, doesn't give us permission to take for granted the abundance that is within our life already. 

It's there. 

How often do we take for granted the money that comes into our life already? For example, when we make payments or buy something... do we fully appreciate the fact that we can make that payment and the benefits we'll receive by doing so? 

'Uggh I have to pay for __X__' rather than 'I'm so grateful for this (service/product/experience) and all I'm going to receive by paying for___X___'

Even utility bills... what a wealth of abundance it is to have running water, light, WiFi connection etc and everything that having that can allow us to do and experience.

If we want HEALTH in our life, and continue to focus on the aches, pains, irritations are we really lacking health? Just because we may not have it in the way that we want it, doesn't give us permission to completely ignore the health we currently have. This has been probably my biggest lesson. 

It's there. 

How often do we take for granted the health we currently have? For example, do we fully appreciate what our body can still do regardless of any symptoms we may have? 

'My__X__ is playing up again, so annoying' vs 'I'm grateful I can breathe/talk/see/hear etc'

You get the picture. 

We already have much of what we want already, just perhaps not in the way we want it or think it should come to us. 

This doesn't mean to say we can never have goals and desires, it simply means that by bringing a little more GRATITUDE to the current situation we can gain more fulfilment, satisfaction and we may even realise the goal is not that important anyway. It also doesn't mean to say we ignore certain aspects and symptoms that need to be addressed, I'm not talking about spiritual bypassing here. I'm talking about appreciating what is present already and not allowing our desires and goals take away our satisfaction of what we already have. 

And this needn't mean to say we beat ourselves up for 'not being grateful' enough, we're all on this journey together, I've certainly had my fair share of reminders and it's a conscious choice to appreciate more on a regular basis. There may be easy moments and challenging moments in life. The challenging times are often a reminder of how strong and resilient we are. 

Taking it a step further, many of the goals and desires we have are simply so we can FEEL a certain way. Happy, satisfied, free, loved etc. Good news is, we can create how we feel already, right now. Having __X__ isn't the only way. We don't need to wait and limit ourselves by attaching ourselves to the sole actualization of the said goal and missing the gifts that surround us already. More info on emotions here. 

We already have so much of what we want. 

It's there - we just need to open our eyes and appreciate the gifts already within our experience. Perhaps it's presented in a different colour to what we expected. And just because it's different doesn't mean it's not there.

I wonder, what new gifts will you discover today? Let me know in the comment section below what you notice.

Have a friend who could benefit from this? Offer a helping hand and share this post. 

More information on events, audio teachings, online community and trainings on www.emmabradford.net

30 days that altered my life...

Last year, I created a 30 day interactive online event. 

Mainly out of curiosity to see what would happen...a little bit of an experiment if you like.

Also as a way to add some positive news to social media feeds and as something useful to help boost peoples emotional states (including my own). 

What happened blew me away. I was AMAZED by the level of interaction, response and effect this experiment had on both myself and others.

I first invited a few dear friends to join me in 30 days of thanks, starting with a post that I would add each day about something I was grateful for in life, followed by posts from whoever wished to add their own messages of thanks. By the end of the event, over 81 people from around the world had joined and were participating with their messages of thanks in 4 different languages...even friends of friends joined in, some of which I had never met!

It has been shown in many studies how thoughts and  actions of gratitude can have a huge impact on our mental, emotional and physical well being. Yet so many of us forget to acknowledge this in our day to day lives.

It is all too common to focus on what we don't want, what we are missing, how other people 'have it better than us', they are 'luckier'. However by doing so we are literally programming our brains and unconscious mind to create more of what we don't want in life. 

Our Reticular Activating System (part of the brain related to goal setting) doesn't know the difference between good and bad, real and imaginary. When we think other people are 'luckier' than us, it's as if someone has written onto our forehead saying 'I don't deserve anything nice...don't give me anything'...and you know what? We are the one creating this self fulfilling prophecy!

By shifting the balance and acknowledging what we have right now, we are essentially sticking a sign on top of our heads saying 'open to receiving more of the good stuff, bring it on!' which in turn affects how people relate to us and what we experience in life.

So how did this alter my life? Not only did I notice a huge positive shift in my emotional state, feeling more optimistic, happier and connected both during the event and after. I also started to include this in my daily life and have done since that event. I now continue making a note whenever I feel grateful for something. 

I also keep a reminder on my phone...pops up every now and again to bring me back to a state of love and compassion if ever I have drifted away with worries and fears. It's become more of a habit and I intend to keep it that way...a healthy, happy habit which makes life oh so more enjoyable. 

And don't take my word for it, try it yourself!

Here below is a little snippet of what thanks messages were posted during the experiment, as you can see privacy has been protected. I invite you to post in the comments below, what are you most grateful for right now and why? No matter how big or small.

And to boost your level of happiness even more, why not challenge yourself to a 30 days of thanks starting from today? 

I wonder how even more wonderful you could feel? ;-)

For more information, FREE podcast audios, FREE gifts, FREE online community and more check out my website at www.emmabradford.net

The Power Of One Simple Word...

'Prepare for the worse case scenario'...'Don't get your hopes up'...

How many of these phrases have you heard throughout your life so far? 

Whilst being aware of the consequences (i.e. checking Ecology as we call in in NLP) is extremely helpful...sometimes if we place too much emphasis on what we don't want...what could 'go wrong'...or what we are missing...we simply affirm to ourselves and others to bring us in life more of what we don't want. 

After all the grass is greener where we water it. In other words where we place our attention, our focus, our energy...that area continues to grow. 

Sonia Choquette, an Intuitive Spiritual Teacher has always emphasised the power of the word 'Wonder'. 'I wonder...' opens up possibilities, connects with our creativity and imagination to start creating what we desire.

For example, imagine that there are two friends...friend A and friend B:

Friend A starts the day waking up thinking 'Oh crap, another miserable day I bet I'll get stuck in traffic again, and I bet that my boss will be in another of his bad mood as always...etc etc'

Friend B starts the day waking up and thinking 'I wonder what wonderful things will happen today...'

Essentially what friend B is doing is exercising their creativity, imagination, and having fun in the process. They are also telling their RAS (Recticular Activating System) what they want to focus on and what they wish to experience. Friend A is also communicating with their RAS, however to create different outcomes...by telling their RAS to find more of what they don't want.

In NLP we talk about the RAS, a part of our brain as it is fundamental in goal setting. It acts as a filter between the conscious and unconscious mind, acting as a faithful servant to our thought process. If we feed it with positive thoughts, it will set out to prove those true, just as if we were to feed it limiting thoughts such as 'Nothing is going right...I'm going to have a crap day´ it will also set out to prove those true. Our RAS cannot differentiate between positive and negative. It simply acts like a dog finding the ball its master has thrown out there...it fnds the evidence and brings it to our attention. 

This is not to say that you will completely cease to have any challenges, set backs or disappointments by starting the day this way...they can still come into our lives as they do with anyone. It simply means you will start noticing more of the 'wonderful moments' and yes in turn attract more into your day to day life as you begin to shift your focus. 

So notice what kind of day you could have if you fed your RAS with thoughts like "I wonder what wonderful things will happen today..." 

Your RAS will start bringing to your attention little surprises and wonderful pleasures of life and as you bring your focus to these areas and that your beliefs are aligned...you will start attracting even more into your life.

Notice what wonderful, little treasures come into your life when you start the day with wonder...its a lot more fun thinking that way too ;-) 

Happy November!

A Year of Gratitude

I started this year with the flu after a crazy autumn of study, work and a lot of travel. 

Initially, I thought what a rubbish way to welcome the new year. 

However as with everything, I believe there is always something to learn whether the situation is easy or difficult.

It was then, when I was forced to slow down that I started to naturally focus on things that I was grateful for. Sometimes we are so consumed with do do do that we forget to be be be. We are Human Beings not Human Doings as the saying goes. When we get caught up in the million and one jobs that we ´must´do we tend to miss a lot of wonder and beauty along the way. These little gifts are what add happiness and love to our lives. As soon as we start to look around with a different point of view we can see so much more that we may have missed before.

On facebook I saw an image of a gratitude jar, the idea made me smile - what a great way to see 2014 or any year for that matter! Writing on a little piece of paper something that made you smile, something that made you feel loved or something that you are grateful for in 2014 and placing that in an old jam jar, and by the end of the year you can recall what a great year you had when you read all the notes.

Its never too late to start, even if you start next month that's many months worth of nice things to read on December 31st!

What will be the first thing you place in that jar?