Reconnecting With LIFE

For the last few years, each summer I do the same thing.

Social media break for the ENTIRE month. 

To be honest, every time I reconnect after the break, I feel reluctant to start again because it feels so good to switch off!

Not that useful for online business owners, though the good thing is, each time I return my boundaries are firmer, my priorities in life are clearer and moving forward I use social media more and more for work only.

With much of the world online nowadays it can be challenging for businesses, social life and more if we're not connected online. 

 

Especially this year. 

 

Social media has been an easy way to remain connected with loved ones during times of physical distance. It's great for keeping in contact, learning new things and spreading the word.

 

Social media is also designed to attract our attention and fulfil many needs. In fact, it touches upon all 6 of the 6 Basic Human Needs which is why it can be so addictive…

 

• Love and Connection – Connecting and sharing with loved ones 
• Significance – Receiving likes, comments and emojis 
• (Perceived) Certainty – Logging in each time knowing where certain things are, the same icons appear, familiar colours and logos
• Uncertainty (Variety) – Scrolling with new news updates, new emojis and backgrounds to use
• Growth – Learning new things about people and the world
• Contribution – Offering support to others, helping non-profits, providing a service

 

Notice how many social media apps fulfil each of these needs… albeit sometimes in a rather superficial, distant way compared to in person heartfelt connection.

Despite the companies best efforts to capture our attention we can create a healthy balance being mindful of how we use it and how they entice us.

 

It’s possible.

 

Ever wondered why they choose the colour RED for notifications and not another colour? Red is often considered the colour of urgency, enhancing that desire to click quick to find out who has commented or liked or messaged.

Though by being aware of the ‘shadow’ of social media we can place healthy boundaries and decide what usage works for our health and well-being.

Personally, total breaks work really well for me, especially during holiday season. This year reflecting on what I’ve learnt I thought to share some of these insights in case anyone else feels inspired to take a break or wants some tips on how to do it.

 

Benefits…

• I felt more present, observing the beauty around me.
• I had more time for other things… way more time.
• I opened up space to learn from within and from nature.
• I was creating conscious connection... mindfully choosing who and what to enter my energetic field.
• Any residual anxiety from this year’s events reduced significantly.
• Greater stillness, calmness and relief.
• Deeper connection to self, few trusted loved ones, nature and LIFE itself.
• Expanded awareness of past actions and choices.
• Moments of boredom, which were the birthplace for creativity to arise.
• Flexibility, finding other ways to connect with loved ones, find news and spend my time.
• Patience.
• Non attachment.
• My health improved significantly being away from phones and screens.
• Increased satisfaction with the little (BIG) things in life, the gifts that surround us in every moment.
• I felt lighter.
• My attention span increased for other activities or when I simply wanted to BE.

 

And much more…

 

It was interesting, initially I noticed the unconscious habit with my hands automatically searching for app without thinking. A clear sign how ingrained the habit of checking social media had become. This was made easier to break by deleting the relevant apps and reorganising the main screen on my phone.

 

Pattern interrupt.

 

This is what we talk about in NLP – finding ways to interrupt the strategies we have for unwanted habits. Always pressing on the snooze button each morning? I wonder what happens when the alarm is placed in a different location so the unconscious mind doesn’t have it so easy to repeat the same habit?

I also noticed that I can survive perfectly fine, have a social life and continue to learn and grow without my mobile and certain apps on a regular basis. Going mobile free for periods of time is highly beneficial.

 

Mobiles and apps are useful… and there is still REAL LIFE around us too.

 

Life is beyond the screens.

Want to take a break though not sure how to start to make it last?

• Decide which apps you want a break from. Are you prone to scrolling? Or constantly checking messages? A social media break doesn’t mean everything at once – find what works for you.
• Decide on a time frame. You may want a big break like I did or simply for a few days. If you use social media for work pick the best times for you to take a break without affecting your work significantly.
• Social accountability can work wonders for goal setting and support. Each break I take I announce it online for a few reasons…

1. My clients, meetup members and students follow me online so I want them to be aware that during a certain time frame I’ll be responding to emails only.
2. I want to encourage others to take the break if they feel the need.
3. By announcing it online I have created social accountability, therefore if ever I desire to quickly check messages (which rarely happens as it feels so good to switch off) I remind myself that people expect me to be offline during that time so that acts as motivation to stay offline.

• Delete the relevant apps off your phone, reorganise the main screen to interrupt any old habits.
• Find ways to remain connected with loved ones. Social media break doesn’t need to mean being disconnected completely. Arrange that skype call, call a friend, post a letter and keep connected with loved ones you trust and value.
• Start a new hobby, book, puzzle or practice.
• Be mindful of the 6 Basic Human Needs. If social media fulfils many of the 6 basic human needs, being aware of this can be useful in mindfully fulfilling these needs elsewhere in a constructive, healthy way.

 

Have you had a social media break?

What did you learn? I'd love to know.

I’ll be announcing some classes and training's very soon to transform our relationship with emotions and negative self-talk, make sure you’re signed up to my newsletter to receive the updates if you’re taking a social media break!

A Forgotten Art... & Why THIS Is So Important

It's not out there.

Despite many of us still searching. 

Often learning from a young age that to seek validation, confirmation and answers outside of ourselves is the way to go. Sure we can benefit learning from others, especially when we're growing up - in some respects it's absolutely necessary. Though by doing so with blind ignorance of what gems lie within too is where some issues can arise.

It's then why, often as adults many still feel unsatisfied.

Something missing.

Feels empty.

Mainly because we're ignoring the wealth of knowledge within us. We're stood in the empty spot between our light and shadow. Back turned to our light (who we really are, our Soul, our energy) and eyes focused on our fears of our shadow (which are much smaller than they initially look... and some say even an illusion).

Being brought up by holistic parents, aware of the the spiritual and self-awareness world from day one, I've seen and heard a few things in this field especially in the realm of teachers, gurus and coaches. Some beautiful. Others not so. Same goes for many industries. 

I soon learnt that using discernment & intuition is fundamental in this human experience we call life, especially when seeking guidance and support from a teacher. This was one of the many things NLP taught me too.

To both question things AND find answers within.

Not to question from a basis of scepticism, looking to prove something or someone wrong. Or with an arrogance that 'I don't need to learn from anyone else' attitude. Rather, with a loving, curious child-like mindset. Seeking to understand the world we live in whilst also trusting there's deep wisdom inside ourselves too.

It can be a wonderful gift to receive support and guidance from a teacher. What we need to be mindful of is not to follow a teacher blindly without checking within too. To exercise our discernment  & intuition, recognising what resonates for us.

It can be common, especially in the spiritual/self-awareness world when we resonate with the teaching's of someone that we start to place that person on a pedal-stool. I certainly have at times, and I've been on the receiving end too. Seeing that person as perfect, without flaws, which can create some form of distance between 'me' and 'them'. The issue here is that by doing so we can minimise our self and our capabilities in the process.

Believing that we'll never be able to be like them or do what they do. Whereas it's that very belief that can prevent us.

This is one of the many reasons why I became a NLP Trainer. I want people to feel empowered to look within, to know how to create changes for themselves for the rest of their life whenever they need to and find the answers. Not to solely rely on outside support from a coach or therapist. 

No outside Teacher, Mentor, Coach, Guru, whoever... can ever completely replace the wisdom we have within too. Even if we're struggling to access that wisdom inside of us, doesn't mean it's not there. We just need to slooow our lives down to hear it, trust it.

I used to think all Spiritual Guru's where unnecessary. It wasn't until I discussed this topic with a dear friend that I realised I too was limited in my thinking at that time. Seeking support from a teacher can serve a purpose, it can be a lot easier for some people to start a journey of discovery by seeking guidance outside first, before looking within. What's vital though is that we keep our feet on the ground during the process and remember that they too are human, even if they display certain gifts.

An outside teacher can provide support, comfort and guide... yes, of which during challenging times can be so valuable.

Though when we place someone on a pedal-stool we're viewing our projection of them, not the real them. And we can become attached and fearful of what might happen if one day that thing or person may disappear from our life. This is common in the initial stages of romantic relationships too. The honeymoon period ends when we realise that person has flaws, unhelpful habits and is human too.

Tony Robbins often talks about 6 Basic Human Needs, and mentions that the more needs something or someone fulfils, the more desired it can become...

1. Love & Belonging (Connection)
2. Significance
3. Certainty (Perceived certainty... such as comfort, safety, security)
4. Variety (Uncertainty)
5. Growth
6. Contribution

One of the reasons why smart phones can be so addictive... they fulfil many needs! 

The good news is, is that we can choose how we fulfil these needs. Finding helpful ways to generate these feelings within without the sole dependency on outside sources to do it for us. For example, choosing to create a feeling of connection when we connect to our body during exercise or to our Soul when we do an activity we love. The more we do that the less we might search for the feeling of connection from others.

This is one way we can live an empowered life and become our own Guru. Each and every one of us is so worthy, and capable. More than we may initially realise.

Click to tweet: "The answer is within" Emma Bradford

Intuition...

Learning to trust our gut feeling is where we can access our Inner Guru*, the guidance that is always there for us to access. Sometimes we may believe we're not intuitive, we don't get the messages like others do. Looking back most of us can pinpoint at least one time when something felt right or not. 

We do receive the messages.

It's simply our analytical mind that then doubts the message and confuses us in the process. Fear of acting according to our intuition as sometimes initially it doesn't make sense.

When we act on the intuitive feelings though, everything unfolds and can make perfect sense.

Bringing it back to love...

To practice tuning into our intuition we can start to notice how we feel in situations, around certain people. Being aware of sensations and feelings we have in the present moment. 

What is our body telling us?

Are we making decisions based on what everyone else thinks or are we taking a moment to notice what feels right for us too? 

Now I'd love to hear from you! What's your Inner Guru within telling you today? And if you're unsure... if you were to know, what would it say? Let me know in the comment section below.

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*If you haven't seen the documentary called 'Kumaré' yet, do!