Showing posts with label Habits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Habits. Show all posts

Wednesday, 2 September 2020

Reconnecting With LIFE

For the last few years, each summer I do the same thing.


Social media break for the ENTIRE month. 


To be honest, every time I reconnect after the break, I feel reluctant to start again because it feels so good to switch off!

Not that useful for online business owners, though the good thing is, each time I return my boundaries are firmer, my priorities in life are clearer and moving forward I use social media more and more for work only.

With much of the world online nowadays it can be challenging for businesses, social life and more if we're not connected online. 

 

Especially this year. 

 

Social media has been an easy way to remain connected with loved ones during times of physical distance. It's great for keeping in contact, learning new things and spreading the word.

 

Social media is also designed to attract our attention and fulfil many needs. In fact, it touches upon all 6 of the 6 Basic Human Needs which is why it can be so addictive…

 

  • Love and Connection – Connecting and sharing with loved ones 
  • Significance – Receiving likes, comments and emojis 
  • (Perceived) Certainty – Logging in each time knowing where certain things are, the same icons appear, familiar colours and logos
  • Uncertainty (Variety) – Scrolling with new news updates, new emojis and backgrounds to use
  • Growth – Learning new things about people and the world
  • Contribution – Offering support to others, helping non-profits, providing a service

 

Notice how many social media apps fulfil each of these needs… albeit sometimes in a rather superficial, distant way compared to in person heartfelt connection.

Despite the companies best efforts to capture our attention we can create a healthy balance being mindful of how we use it and how they entice us.

 

It’s possible.

 

Ever wondered why they choose the colour RED for notifications and not another colour? Red is often considered the colour of urgency, enhancing that desire to click quick to find out who has commented or liked or messaged.

Though by being aware of the ‘shadow’ of social media we can place healthy boundaries and decide what usage works for our health and well-being.

Personally, total breaks work really well for me, especially during holiday season. This year reflecting on what I’ve learnt I thought to share some of these insights in case anyone else feels inspired to take a break or wants some tips on how to do it.

 

Benefits…

  • I felt more present, observing the beauty around me.
  • I had more time for other things… way more time.
  • I opened up space to learn from within and from nature.
  • I was creating conscious connection... mindfully choosing who and what to enter my energetic field.
  • Any residual anxiety from this year’s events reduced significantly.
  • Greater stillness, calmness and relief.
  • Deeper connection to self, few trusted loved ones, nature and LIFE itself.
  • Expanded awareness of past actions and choices.
  • Moments of boredom, which were the birthplace for creativity to arise.
  • Flexibility, finding other ways to connect with loved ones, find news and spend my time.
  • Patience.
  • Non attachment.
  • My health improved significantly being away from phones and screens.
  • Increased satisfaction with the little (BIG) things in life, the gifts that surround us in every moment.
  • I felt lighter.
  • My attention span increased for other activities or when I simply wanted to BE.

 

And much more…

 

It was interesting, initially I noticed the unconscious habit with my hands automatically searching for app without thinking. A clear sign how ingrained the habit of checking social media had become. This was made easier to break by deleting the relevant apps and reorganising the main screen on my phone.

 

Pattern interrupt.

 

This is what we talk about in NLP – finding ways to interrupt the strategies we have for unwanted habits. Always pressing on the snooze button each morning? I wonder what happens when the alarm is placed in a different location so the unconscious mind doesn’t have it so easy to repeat the same habit?

I also noticed that I can survive perfectly fine, have a social life and continue to learn and grow without my mobile and certain apps on a regular basis. Going mobile free for periods of time is highly beneficial.

 

Mobiles and apps are useful… and there is still REAL LIFE around us too.

 

Life is beyond the screens.




Want to take a break though not sure how to start to make it last?

  • Decide which apps you want a break from. Are you prone to scrolling? Or constantly checking messages? A social media break doesn’t mean everything at once – find what works for you.
  • Decide on a time frame. You may want a big break like I did or simply for a few days. If you use social media for work pick the best times for you to take a break without affecting your work significantly.
  • Social accountability can work wonders for goal setting and support. Each break I take I announce it online for a few reasons…

  1. My clients, meetup members and students follow me online so I want them to be aware that during a certain time frame I’ll be responding to emails only.
  2. I want to encourage others to take the break if they feel the need.
  3. By announcing it online I have created social accountability, therefore if ever I desire to quickly check messages (which rarely happens as it feels so good to switch off) I remind myself that people expect me to be offline during that time so that acts as motivation to stay offline.

  • Delete the relevant apps off your phone, reorganise the main screen to interrupt any old habits.
  • Find ways to remain connected with loved ones. Social media break doesn’t need to mean being disconnected completely. Arrange that skype call, call a friend, post a letter and keep connected with loved ones you trust and value.
  • Start a new hobby, book, puzzle or practice.
  • Be mindful of the 6 Basic Human Needs. If social media fulfils many of the 6 basic human needs, being aware of this can be useful in mindfully fulfilling these needs elsewhere in a constructive, healthy way.

 

Have you had a social media break?

What did you learn? I'd love to know.


I’ll be announcing some classes and training's very soon to transform our relationship with emotions and negative self-talk, make sure you’re signed up to my newsletter to receive the updates if you’re taking a social media break!


Tuesday, 20 March 2018

7 Reasons Why We Don't Do What's Good For Us... And How To Change It

Daily...
  • Meditation,
  • Gratitude Lists,
  • Exercise,
  • Morning Routines,
  • Journaling,
  • Affirmations,
  • Healthy Organic Food
  • Etc...the list goes on.
Anyone else felt overwhelmed at times with the endless to do list of what we 'should' do to live a healthy and fulfilled life? 

I certainly have. 

Sometimes it can feel like a full time job doing everything that we need to to care for ourselves. The lists can be extensive, and even with small simple things there can be times where self-sabotage kicks in. We know what we need for a healthier, happier life, so why do we find it so hard to actually bring it into practice?

"I know I should meditate but I just can't seem to keep it going! What's wrong with me?!"
"I can't seem to stick to it... I was doing so well and now I'm back to square one"

Common phrases from clients. It's frustrating I know, I've been there many times too. 








As far as I know, there are 7 main reasons why we don't do what we know deep within we need to do for a happy and healthy life. 



1) Not addressing beliefs & emotions within the conscious/unconscious mind.

- Fears about change and/or negative beliefs about uncertainty and change

- Limiting beliefs about the new outcome, for example if loosing weight is the desired outcome there could be underlying beliefs and fears such as... "If I'm thin I'll attract unwanted attention (staying overweight to protect self)"


Creating Change...

What do I believe about change itself? What does change and uncertainty mean to me?
What do I believe about achieving __(desired outcome)__? 

Notice if any limiting beliefs arise and challenge them by re-framing the statement - what else could this mean?

For example: It's not whether I'm overweight or skinny that I attract unwanted attention... it's more to do with my beliefs about it that can attract uncomfortable experiences.


2) Being unaware of the secondary gain of current behaviour and situation where we're searching for something unconsciously. 



If we don't acknowledge our authentic desires this is where self-sabotaging/yo-yo behaviour can kick in. For example, if we want to relax, unwind yet have feelings of obligation, too many activities from work, commitments in our life along with a hidden drive of wanting to BE and relax rather than do... then can come the behaviour of sitting in front of the TV rather than exercising! As many say up to 95% or more of our behaviour is controlled by our unconscious mind. 


Creating Change...

What is the hidden positive intention here? What am I really looking for? 
How can I fulfil this AND do activities that fulfil my health and well-being too? 


3) Using negative, pressuring internal dialogue such as 'I have to/should do/must do...' rather than 'I will/can/want to...'. 



I don't know about you, I certainly don't feel motivated when I order myself to do something - I turn the other way!


Creating Change...

How am I talking and thinking about __x__? 
How can I change that so it becomes even more compelling and exciting so I want to do it? 




4) Being focused on instant pleasure rather than long term happiness. 



Bringing our focus on the task rather than the benefit is very common. When we do this, it can often demotivate us rather than motivate us.

Creating Change...

What is the big WHY in doing ___x___?
How will I benefit now and in the long term by doing ___x___?


5) Allowing our emotional state to remain dropped down and stuck... therefore less motivation. Our emotional state is KEY to how motivated we feel about things. 


Creating Change...

What music inspires, energises and uplifts me?
What puts a smile on my face? 
How can I use these to motivate me to do ___x___?


6) Creating to do lists from only one level - the mind.



Rather than acknowledging our body's capacity to physically carry out only a certain number of tasks out compared to how many the mind can actually think about. The mind is quick and has no limitations on time, whereas to physically do tasks throughout the day can take more time than to think about it. More about the Mind/Body list here.


Creating Change...

What 1 or 2 well-being tasks will I focus on solely that will bring me the greatest amount of joy, satisfaction and benefits? 


7) Feeling uncomfortable moving out of the comfort zone. 

To do something new, means shifting the energy in that moment and moving out of the comfort zone can feel... err at times... uncomfortable! What we're noticing is simply the shift in vibration from one situation to another. It's the initial step that is the biggest shift. 

There have been many articles talking about the Japanese technique to get things done by only doing 5 minutes of an activity. By doing so, once we've started, often we'll continue because we've already achieved that initial hurdle. 

Creating Change...

The previous points above plus social accountability can help take this first step. 

"If I notice awkward feelings about changing a pattern of behaviour even if it's something for my health and well-being, often I'm simply noticing the shift in energy in moving out of the comfort zone. The more I repeat the action of giving that activity a go, the more comfortable I can feel with the new behaviour"




So now over to you...

Looking back, is there something that you know you can benefit from yet you've been struggling to do it up until now? 

Which of the 7 above reasons resonated most and why? 

What will you do differently this week to create that change? Schedule in your diary now to make that even more of a reality. 

Have a friend that could benefit from this? Offer them a helping hand by sharing this post. 

And if you want more information on NLP Trainings, FREE Online Community, FREE resources and 1:1 sessions click here.