Reconnecting With LIFE

For the last few years, each summer I do the same thing.

Social media break for the ENTIRE month. 

To be honest, every time I reconnect after the break, I feel reluctant to start again because it feels so good to switch off!

Not that useful for online business owners, though the good thing is, each time I return my boundaries are firmer, my priorities in life are clearer and moving forward I use social media more and more for work only.

With much of the world online nowadays it can be challenging for businesses, social life and more if we're not connected online. 

 

Especially this year. 

 

Social media has been an easy way to remain connected with loved ones during times of physical distance. It's great for keeping in contact, learning new things and spreading the word.

 

Social media is also designed to attract our attention and fulfil many needs. In fact, it touches upon all 6 of the 6 Basic Human Needs which is why it can be so addictive…

 

• Love and Connection – Connecting and sharing with loved ones 
• Significance – Receiving likes, comments and emojis 
• (Perceived) Certainty – Logging in each time knowing where certain things are, the same icons appear, familiar colours and logos
• Uncertainty (Variety) – Scrolling with new news updates, new emojis and backgrounds to use
• Growth – Learning new things about people and the world
• Contribution – Offering support to others, helping non-profits, providing a service

 

Notice how many social media apps fulfil each of these needs… albeit sometimes in a rather superficial, distant way compared to in person heartfelt connection.

Despite the companies best efforts to capture our attention we can create a healthy balance being mindful of how we use it and how they entice us.

 

It’s possible.

 

Ever wondered why they choose the colour RED for notifications and not another colour? Red is often considered the colour of urgency, enhancing that desire to click quick to find out who has commented or liked or messaged.

Though by being aware of the ‘shadow’ of social media we can place healthy boundaries and decide what usage works for our health and well-being.

Personally, total breaks work really well for me, especially during holiday season. This year reflecting on what I’ve learnt I thought to share some of these insights in case anyone else feels inspired to take a break or wants some tips on how to do it.

 

Benefits…

• I felt more present, observing the beauty around me.
• I had more time for other things… way more time.
• I opened up space to learn from within and from nature.
• I was creating conscious connection... mindfully choosing who and what to enter my energetic field.
• Any residual anxiety from this year’s events reduced significantly.
• Greater stillness, calmness and relief.
• Deeper connection to self, few trusted loved ones, nature and LIFE itself.
• Expanded awareness of past actions and choices.
• Moments of boredom, which were the birthplace for creativity to arise.
• Flexibility, finding other ways to connect with loved ones, find news and spend my time.
• Patience.
• Non attachment.
• My health improved significantly being away from phones and screens.
• Increased satisfaction with the little (BIG) things in life, the gifts that surround us in every moment.
• I felt lighter.
• My attention span increased for other activities or when I simply wanted to BE.

 

And much more…

 

It was interesting, initially I noticed the unconscious habit with my hands automatically searching for app without thinking. A clear sign how ingrained the habit of checking social media had become. This was made easier to break by deleting the relevant apps and reorganising the main screen on my phone.

 

Pattern interrupt.

 

This is what we talk about in NLP – finding ways to interrupt the strategies we have for unwanted habits. Always pressing on the snooze button each morning? I wonder what happens when the alarm is placed in a different location so the unconscious mind doesn’t have it so easy to repeat the same habit?

I also noticed that I can survive perfectly fine, have a social life and continue to learn and grow without my mobile and certain apps on a regular basis. Going mobile free for periods of time is highly beneficial.

 

Mobiles and apps are useful… and there is still REAL LIFE around us too.

 

Life is beyond the screens.

Want to take a break though not sure how to start to make it last?

• Decide which apps you want a break from. Are you prone to scrolling? Or constantly checking messages? A social media break doesn’t mean everything at once – find what works for you.
• Decide on a time frame. You may want a big break like I did or simply for a few days. If you use social media for work pick the best times for you to take a break without affecting your work significantly.
• Social accountability can work wonders for goal setting and support. Each break I take I announce it online for a few reasons…

1. My clients, meetup members and students follow me online so I want them to be aware that during a certain time frame I’ll be responding to emails only.
2. I want to encourage others to take the break if they feel the need.
3. By announcing it online I have created social accountability, therefore if ever I desire to quickly check messages (which rarely happens as it feels so good to switch off) I remind myself that people expect me to be offline during that time so that acts as motivation to stay offline.

• Delete the relevant apps off your phone, reorganise the main screen to interrupt any old habits.
• Find ways to remain connected with loved ones. Social media break doesn’t need to mean being disconnected completely. Arrange that skype call, call a friend, post a letter and keep connected with loved ones you trust and value.
• Start a new hobby, book, puzzle or practice.
• Be mindful of the 6 Basic Human Needs. If social media fulfils many of the 6 basic human needs, being aware of this can be useful in mindfully fulfilling these needs elsewhere in a constructive, healthy way.

 

Have you had a social media break?

What did you learn? I'd love to know.

I’ll be announcing some classes and training's very soon to transform our relationship with emotions and negative self-talk, make sure you’re signed up to my newsletter to receive the updates if you’re taking a social media break!

Transforming Fear Into Strength... What Would You Do?

'Basically, it's hot enough to melt steel'

...they said, as I breathed in the cool, crisp evening air and heard the gushing of the river Thames nearby. 

I was just about to do something that terrified me.

I was forcing myself well out of my comfort zone, yet I knew with all my being that this experience was right for me at this time in my life, I had to do it. 

2015, for many has brought huge changes. I could see clients and meetup group members experiencing turmoil... "This autumn has been too much!" I heard as I started focusing meetup events and workshops more and more on soothing the emotions within and how to detach from the inner critical voice. 

It seemed so needed at this time, more than ever.

I too went through major personal shifts earlier this year, with situations forcing me to let go, re-adjust and continue strengthening the loving connection within despite of challenging experiences.

Painful, yes.

And as with most things, what I learnt through the process made it so worthwhile.

So whilst looking up at the stars that cool evening near London, hearing the energy of the crowd and feeling the adrenaline pumping within I knew that my life experience was about to move to another level. I was about to test my beliefs about life and Mind/Body connection to the MAX, allowing all levels of my being to experience a completely new reality. 

I took off my shoes and socks, feeling the cold wet grass beneath my feet. 

Mind 100% on my desired outcome. At this point I couldn't even hear what the crowd was cheering towards me, I had no idea... it felt as if I was in another world, totally focused ahead as I stepped forward and walked bare foot across 4 metres of hot charcoals that lay before me.

Firewalk's* are just one way to help us to use our fear and transform it into strength and power in a situation. Breaking away from the 'I can't do it... I will get burned...' beliefs to 'Wow no burns whatsoever and I didn't feel a thing... if I can do this I can do ANYTHING!'. By actually achieving something that we previously perceived as impossible, we can feel more motivated to continue our journey towards other desired outcomes.

Empowering is an understatement!

If anything it's simply just a way to step out of your comfort zone and realise what you are capable of as solutions, goals and desired outcomes don't tend to reside within our comfort zone... we need to venture out of that comfort circle as this image below demonstrates...

And no, stepping out of our comfort zone doesn't feel necessarily always feel comfortable!
Quite often, it's afterwards when it can feel bloody great, and you often wonder why you feared it so much in the first place.

So that evening near London as my mind was so focused on my desired outcome, it was only until I reached the last step that I suddenly thought to myself 'I don't feel anything' and by that point I was on the grass again ready to celebrate with the rest of the group.

Eager to examine my feet afterwards... I found no burns whatsoever. 

Wow! 

The support I received during that experience, raising my emotional state and choosing to focus 100% on my desired outcome helped to make that move a whole lot easier despite the fears. Quite amazing to feel first hand too how the mind can affect the physical and emotional bodies experience of life in such a powerful way. 

Often people believe that we need to feel ready to do something or that we need to do it when we don't feel fearful anymore... when in reality these types of beliefs actually keep us stuck. Successful, confident people still feel fearful at times... they simply notice the thoughts and emotions and act towards their desired outcome regardless.

"We all feel fear at some point in life, particularly when starting out at something new. Fear is a healthy human emotion, so long as it doesn't cripple other emotions to get in the way of opportunity." Richard Branson

Have you been keeping yourself within your comfort zone recently?

If so, how can you support yourself through that process moving out of your comfort zone and towards your goals and desired outcomes in your life? 

The Firewalk** experience was one of the highlights of 2015 and a wonderful opportunity to remind myself of my capabilities.

A year of transformation and helping to prepare the foundations for 2016.

This time of year I often pick up on subtle energies and I 'feel' the shift energetically for what the theme for the next year will be for me. We often do this consciously too in the form of setting desired outcomes and creating new helpful habits in the form of New Year's Resolutions. 

However you do it, this time of year is a wonderful moment for reflection and transition... letting go of the old, welcoming in the new whatever you want that to be, and realising how far you have come noting the experiences you are grateful for so far. And this doesn't have to involve Firewalk's ;-)

Use this final week to reflect upon your 2015 experiences, and take a moment to consider this...

1) What TRANSFORMED for you in 2015 that you are most grateful for? 

No matter how big or small. Simply by being more aware of a new side of you, or picking up a new skill can be a wonderful change. As you consider how things have evolved, notice the feelings that triggers knowing all the wonderful new experiences  that you can welcome NOW thanks to that shift.

Also...

2) What is continuing to TRANSFORM at the moment as you go into the New Year? 

If there something you currently feel in the middle of ask yourself if there is anything that can help you through the experience. For example; support from a loved one, finding out how others may have completed a similar journey, a loving, comforting practice such as the Inner Light Visualisation or more.

And finally...

3) What would you like to TRANSFORM in 2016 and how can you help that to become a reality? 

Want to improve an area in your life or learn a new skill? Set the date in 2016 when you will start doing that. Writing things down and holding yourself accountable is a powerful step to success.

Now, I'd love to hear from you! 

Using the comment section below, what is your answer to transformation question number 3?  What will 2016 be about for you?  

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this blog post on facebook, twitter or by email and offer a helping hand this season. 

Until next time, wishing you a fabulous end to 2015... let's make 2016 the best year yet!

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* To be carried out ONLY under supervision of trained Firewalk instructors! 
** Photos to follow when I receive them from the SUPER POWER SCHOOL event organisers.