Reconnecting With LIFE

For the last few years, each summer I do the same thing.

Social media break for the ENTIRE month. 

To be honest, every time I reconnect after the break, I feel reluctant to start again because it feels so good to switch off!

Not that useful for online business owners, though the good thing is, each time I return my boundaries are firmer, my priorities in life are clearer and moving forward I use social media more and more for work only.

With much of the world online nowadays it can be challenging for businesses, social life and more if we're not connected online. 

 

Especially this year. 

 

Social media has been an easy way to remain connected with loved ones during times of physical distance. It's great for keeping in contact, learning new things and spreading the word.

 

Social media is also designed to attract our attention and fulfil many needs. In fact, it touches upon all 6 of the 6 Basic Human Needs which is why it can be so addictive…

 

• Love and Connection – Connecting and sharing with loved ones 
• Significance – Receiving likes, comments and emojis 
• (Perceived) Certainty – Logging in each time knowing where certain things are, the same icons appear, familiar colours and logos
• Uncertainty (Variety) – Scrolling with new news updates, new emojis and backgrounds to use
• Growth – Learning new things about people and the world
• Contribution – Offering support to others, helping non-profits, providing a service

 

Notice how many social media apps fulfil each of these needs… albeit sometimes in a rather superficial, distant way compared to in person heartfelt connection.

Despite the companies best efforts to capture our attention we can create a healthy balance being mindful of how we use it and how they entice us.

 

It’s possible.

 

Ever wondered why they choose the colour RED for notifications and not another colour? Red is often considered the colour of urgency, enhancing that desire to click quick to find out who has commented or liked or messaged.

Though by being aware of the ‘shadow’ of social media we can place healthy boundaries and decide what usage works for our health and well-being.

Personally, total breaks work really well for me, especially during holiday season. This year reflecting on what I’ve learnt I thought to share some of these insights in case anyone else feels inspired to take a break or wants some tips on how to do it.

 

Benefits…

• I felt more present, observing the beauty around me.
• I had more time for other things… way more time.
• I opened up space to learn from within and from nature.
• I was creating conscious connection... mindfully choosing who and what to enter my energetic field.
• Any residual anxiety from this year’s events reduced significantly.
• Greater stillness, calmness and relief.
• Deeper connection to self, few trusted loved ones, nature and LIFE itself.
• Expanded awareness of past actions and choices.
• Moments of boredom, which were the birthplace for creativity to arise.
• Flexibility, finding other ways to connect with loved ones, find news and spend my time.
• Patience.
• Non attachment.
• My health improved significantly being away from phones and screens.
• Increased satisfaction with the little (BIG) things in life, the gifts that surround us in every moment.
• I felt lighter.
• My attention span increased for other activities or when I simply wanted to BE.

 

And much more…

 

It was interesting, initially I noticed the unconscious habit with my hands automatically searching for app without thinking. A clear sign how ingrained the habit of checking social media had become. This was made easier to break by deleting the relevant apps and reorganising the main screen on my phone.

 

Pattern interrupt.

 

This is what we talk about in NLP – finding ways to interrupt the strategies we have for unwanted habits. Always pressing on the snooze button each morning? I wonder what happens when the alarm is placed in a different location so the unconscious mind doesn’t have it so easy to repeat the same habit?

I also noticed that I can survive perfectly fine, have a social life and continue to learn and grow without my mobile and certain apps on a regular basis. Going mobile free for periods of time is highly beneficial.

 

Mobiles and apps are useful… and there is still REAL LIFE around us too.

 

Life is beyond the screens.

Want to take a break though not sure how to start to make it last?

• Decide which apps you want a break from. Are you prone to scrolling? Or constantly checking messages? A social media break doesn’t mean everything at once – find what works for you.
• Decide on a time frame. You may want a big break like I did or simply for a few days. If you use social media for work pick the best times for you to take a break without affecting your work significantly.
• Social accountability can work wonders for goal setting and support. Each break I take I announce it online for a few reasons…

1. My clients, meetup members and students follow me online so I want them to be aware that during a certain time frame I’ll be responding to emails only.
2. I want to encourage others to take the break if they feel the need.
3. By announcing it online I have created social accountability, therefore if ever I desire to quickly check messages (which rarely happens as it feels so good to switch off) I remind myself that people expect me to be offline during that time so that acts as motivation to stay offline.

• Delete the relevant apps off your phone, reorganise the main screen to interrupt any old habits.
• Find ways to remain connected with loved ones. Social media break doesn’t need to mean being disconnected completely. Arrange that skype call, call a friend, post a letter and keep connected with loved ones you trust and value.
• Start a new hobby, book, puzzle or practice.
• Be mindful of the 6 Basic Human Needs. If social media fulfils many of the 6 basic human needs, being aware of this can be useful in mindfully fulfilling these needs elsewhere in a constructive, healthy way.

 

Have you had a social media break?

What did you learn? I'd love to know.

I’ll be announcing some classes and training's very soon to transform our relationship with emotions and negative self-talk, make sure you’re signed up to my newsletter to receive the updates if you’re taking a social media break!

One Simple Trick To Deal With Overwhelm...

To do list's.

Decisions.

Worries & fears.

What can we do when thing's get too much? Is there a magic secret to reducing anxiety?

The topic of 'overwhelm' came up in conversation during a NLP meetup not long ago... a common challenge for many striving in society to be the perfect person with the perfect career, relationship, body, health etc. This image of perfection that has been portrayed in society as to what everyone 'needs' in order to be happy has it's consequences. 

Whilst it's great to move forward in life, gently challenging ourselves to step outside of our comfort zone and achieve our goals... by having too much emphasis on 'needing' more in order to be happy can put ourselves in a very unhappy place if we have yet to achieve it. 

And gives us a pretty overwhelming list of things to achieve too.

Letting go of our need for perfection can help let go of internal overwhelm.

Internal? 

Yes, there are two main types of overwhelm as I know it...

Internal...

People can feel overwhelmed on an internal basis - focusing on too many thoughts, worries, fears, regrets, not knowing what decisions to make.

It has become common human nature to regret and worry about past and future events, lack of trust and confidence in our ability and decision making. Creating a complex web of worries and fears. Jumping from idea to idea... dancing around every painful memory, possible outcomes and fears about what may happen.

Essentially everything BUT what is happening in the present moment. 

One way to reconnect is to mindfully observe what surrounds us in the present moment. Mentally noting... 'chair, table, glass' etc or whatever is in our surroundings can be a quick way to switch off the mental chatter and regain a moment of presence in our life. 

External...

People can feel overwhelmed on an external basis - sensory overload when they are in busy, stimulating situations such as in big crowds, shopping centres, city centres etc.

Modern day lifestyle has changed the way human beings live dramatically - loosing the tranquility and simplicity of being connected with nature and ourselves. Being in place of non stop hustle and bustle, noise and commotion. 

And for those of us who need our peace and quiet, busy situations can become unbearable. 

How I dealt with overwhelm...

Being a highly empathetic and sensitive person, I used to struggle a lot with external overwhelm. So much so that I experienced extreme anxiety and panic attacks in the past on a daily and weekly basis. Being in crowed places used to be unbearable. 

Whilst there were many things that helped, one simple trick that helped me the most was tuning out everything that was going on around me, shifting my focus to one point only... my thumb and index finger. 

By bringing my attention here and noticing the sensation of the tips of these two fingers gently rubbing against each other dramatically changed my focus. My breathing slowed and deepened, my muscles relaxed and I felt a lot calmer. If ever I catch myself absorbing too much external information or thinking about too many things, this simple action brings me back to the present moment quickly and effectively.

We become overwhelmed when we focus on too much at once, whether be it internally or externally.

So the trick is to simply reduce our focus to ONE thing only. 

One small physical touch or sensation can help significantly to bring more clarity and calm into our life. Some people use their breath, some use a song, an image or an object as a reminder... find what works for you. 

Something to pull us back to the present moment, one small area of focus so we can then see the situation from a more helpful perspective. 

I'd love to hear from you! What do you notice when you practice this technique in moments of overwhelm? Let me know in the comment section below.

Have a loved one who suffers from overwhelm? Offer a helping hand and forward this blog post. 

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