One Important Key To Finding What You Want

It was a few summers ago when I experienced this, a great reminder many people overlook.

A fundamental point that has the ability to significantly change your life experience, and if ignored can lead to all sorts of lengthy detours and challenges.

That summer I was discovering the sites and wonders that Cataluña has to offer... enjoying the fresh, clean, forest air.

Ahhh... the perfect antidote to busy, entrepreneurial life.

Crystal clear streams to cool down from the Spanish sun, followed by tranquil picnic spots to unwind after a long day exploring.

During this trip, my road trip partner and I were excitedly preparing for a summer barbecue, we had the coals, the food, now we just needed a site.*

"We'd like to find a BBQ site please!" we eagerly stated out loud - as we often did. 

Hungry and raring to go we drove through a little town and asked some locals. They pointed, we followed, only to find the site was closed and no BBQ's were allowed.

Onto the next.

Adventure filled road trip for sure.

The next site we found had facilities however the locals clearly stated we had to ask permission, book the space before hand and the person in charge was unavailable at the moment. We had found a space but we couldn't use it. Hmmm thinking to myself, something started to click within.

"OK... we'd like to find a BBQ site that is available to use this evening".

The search continued, both being typical Taurus, we weren't giving up that easily!

Next stop: There was an available site, but also a huge derelict building right next to it. The space was filthy, broken glass, stray cats... it looked like something from a horror film in the diminishing evening light. Not inviting at all.

"OK! We'd like to find a BBQ site that is available to use this evening, comfortable, clean and welcoming!" 

At this point we were both laughing, realising what had been preventing our success up until now.

Sometimes we think we are putting the message 'out there' for what we want... when in reality we are giving mixed messages or simply just being too vague. We may know that critical thinking, fears and doubts can hinder the manifesting process, however, what many often forget is that not being SPECIFIC is a major factor too. 

In this case, it was the later and this adventure was a wonderful reminder. We had simply been looking for 'BBQ site'. We found spaces, just not what we really wanted.

Our RAS (Reticular Activating System), a part of the brain that helps to bring things to our awareness was looking for something vague as that was all we had stated. RAS, a filter between the unconscious and conscious... a fundamental part of the brain for goal setting. More on the RAS here.

If we desire something, and we are not clear on what we really want... it can lead us down all sorts of adventure filled experiences. Whilst that can be fun, sometimes it can take us much longer to achieve that desired outcome.

Look at it this way: 

If you want to enjoy great health, regulate your natural weight, boost self esteem, love your body etc answer the following...

1) What SPECIFICALLY are you looking for?

E.g.) 'I want to be healthy enough to do __X__' (not just 'I want to be healthy'... notice the difference?)

2) Where and when would you like that? (What specific day and time?) 

E.g.) I want to be healthy enough to do ___X___ by ____'

3) How will you know when you achieve that? (What will you see, hear, and feel?) 

E.g.) 'When I am healthy enough to do __X__ by ___ I will see____, hear____ and feel____'

The clearer the desire within your focus, the clearer the message that goes to you RAS, therefore the more likely that outcome will occur. Your RAS does not know that difference between reality and imagined experiences. It doesn't even know the difference between limiting beliefs and true helpful beliefs. It simply acts like a faithful dog running after the ball its master has thrown. So feed it clear, positive direction by doing the following...

• Visualise: Imagine your desired outcome as a movie scene including all the desired details and sensory information (what you will see, hear and feel).

• Positive Language: Talk about your desired outcome using positive, reinforcing language both with yourself and others. For example, 'I am losing weight' not 'I am trying to lose weight but it never seems to shift' the later reinforces 'I am not losing weight' to your RAS... which in turn keeps that experience in your reality. 

• Consistent Action: Take small, consistent actionable steps towards your desired outcome to strengthen and reinforce the direction you wish to go in.

• Reprogram The Unconscious Mind: Clear up any opposing, negative beliefs that may be stored unconsciously. More on removing limiting beliefs here.

And you'll be pleased to know, on that trip we managed to enjoy some delicious BBQ's, in gorgeous spots despite the initial detours!

Now I’d love to hear from you...

What SPECIFIC desired outcome would you like to experience and what first step can you can take towards achieving that? 

Using the comment section below, schedule it now and holding yourself accountable. It is scientifically proven that those who write goals down, and do the necessary steps above are over 95% more likely to achieve them. Yes really! So the real question is, how much do you really want it? ;-)

I look forward to reading your comments, until next time, wishing you a fabulous month ahead.


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*Because of forest fires and the Spanish heat there are specific locations for enjoying BBQ's.

The Power Of One Simple Word...

'Prepare for the worse case scenario'...'Don't get your hopes up'...

How many of these phrases have you heard throughout your life so far? 

Whilst being aware of the consequences (i.e. checking Ecology as we call in in NLP) is extremely helpful...sometimes if we place too much emphasis on what we don't want...what could 'go wrong'...or what we are missing...we simply affirm to ourselves and others to bring us in life more of what we don't want. 

After all the grass is greener where we water it. In other words where we place our attention, our focus, our energy...that area continues to grow. 

Sonia Choquette, an Intuitive Spiritual Teacher has always emphasised the power of the word 'Wonder'. 'I wonder...' opens up possibilities, connects with our creativity and imagination to start creating what we desire.

For example, imagine that there are two friends...friend A and friend B:

Friend A starts the day waking up thinking 'Oh crap, another miserable day I bet I'll get stuck in traffic again, and I bet that my boss will be in another of his bad mood as always...etc etc'

Friend B starts the day waking up and thinking 'I wonder what wonderful things will happen today...'

Essentially what friend B is doing is exercising their creativity, imagination, and having fun in the process. They are also telling their RAS (Recticular Activating System) what they want to focus on and what they wish to experience. Friend A is also communicating with their RAS, however to create different outcomes...by telling their RAS to find more of what they don't want.

In NLP we talk about the RAS, a part of our brain as it is fundamental in goal setting. It acts as a filter between the conscious and unconscious mind, acting as a faithful servant to our thought process. If we feed it with positive thoughts, it will set out to prove those true, just as if we were to feed it limiting thoughts such as 'Nothing is going right...I'm going to have a crap day´ it will also set out to prove those true. Our RAS cannot differentiate between positive and negative. It simply acts like a dog finding the ball its master has thrown out there...it fnds the evidence and brings it to our attention. 

This is not to say that you will completely cease to have any challenges, set backs or disappointments by starting the day this way...they can still come into our lives as they do with anyone. It simply means you will start noticing more of the 'wonderful moments' and yes in turn attract more into your day to day life as you begin to shift your focus. 

So notice what kind of day you could have if you fed your RAS with thoughts like "I wonder what wonderful things will happen today..." 

Your RAS will start bringing to your attention little surprises and wonderful pleasures of life and as you bring your focus to these areas and that your beliefs are aligned...you will start attracting even more into your life.

Notice what wonderful, little treasures come into your life when you start the day with wonder...its a lot more fun thinking that way too ;-) 

Happy November!

What Is Your Reticular Activating System (RAS) And How Does It Affect You

´You get what you focus on´ is often said on self development blogs and in manifestation books... what is the meaning behind that? 

In NLP we talk about a part of our brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS) and how it is fundamental in goal setting. Our RAS is like a filter between the conscious and unconscious mind, acting as a faithful servant to our thought process. If we feed it with positive beliefs, it will set out to prove those true, just as if we were to feed it limiting beliefs such as ´Im no good at anything´ it will also set out to prove those true. Our RAS cannot differentiate between positive and negative beliefs.

We create our reality whether we are aware of it or not. 

Two people going to the same party can describe it in very different ways, each person has their own belief system that they feed their RAS. Almost as if we each wear a different pair of glasses, looking through another pair you would see a very different world. By holding onto our limiting beliefs we then delete/distort or generalise the information so that it fits in with our belief system.

If we believe 100% that all people are always kind, we will (on an unconscious level) not notice if somebody is rude to us. This works vice verse as well. If we have the limiting belief that all shop assistants are rude, our RAS will point that out to us and we will encounter more rude shop assistants than those without that belief.

Notice what happens if you buy a red car. Before you may not have noticed many red cars, however after buying one they seem to be everywhere! What has happened? Its just your RAS continuing with ´red car´ on the brain and continuing to point them out to you. There is still the same amount on the roads (more or less), you just didn't pay attention to them before.

Your RAS is also the part of the brain that notices when somebody calls your name, you immediately take note.

This knowledge can prove very useful when working towards our goal. If we can feed our RAS positive beliefs through the use of visualisations, affirmations and anchors, it will start making us aware of situations, people and resources that can help us along the way.

So its not just luck after all!

Spring Clean Your Mind

Its that time of year that I just LOVE... 

flower blossom on the trees, warm sunshine creeping in and a sense of activity after the winter months.

Spring cleaning is often mentioned at this time of year, an opportunity to clear out those cluttered cupboards and unwanted clothes. Whilst the physical/material aspect of spring cleaning is great, we often forget that there are other types of spring cleaning that can be a huge help in achieving goals.

Many people set new years resolutions in January and by the second or third week give up due to lack of motivation and blaming themselves for not being good enough. If a friend was struggling with something, would you beat them up about it and tell them that they are useless? Treating ourselves with the love and respect that we deserve can make things 100 times easier to achieve goals.

However sometimes there can be a few little things that can get in our way...

Limiting Beliefs.

We all create our own map of the world, forming beliefs about ourselves, others and the world through experiences and influence from family, friends and other individuals. Sometimes there are helpful beliefs; eg) "I mustn't touch the hot stove as I can burn myself", and sometimes there are unhelpful ´limiting´ beliefs, eg) "If people don't say hello to me that means there is something wrong with me".

Notice how the later can limit us in our lives and add to feelings of insecurity, lack of self worth and lack of confidence. If we continue to believe limiting beliefs, even on an unconscious level, we will continue to limit our true potential in our lives, thus finding it more difficult to achieve what we want.

What we believe (both consciously and unconsciously), we receive. If we focus on not being good enough and believing that we are worthless, we will attract into our lives situations that prove that true thanks to a part of our brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). More information on the RAS coming soon.

So, its a great time for spring cleaning! If you have been working towards something and doubt starts creeping in, notice what thoughts are present.

What limiting beliefs have been holding you back?

Tips on uncovering and loosening limiting beliefs coming next!