One Common, Forgotten Key To Manifesting What You Want

'Think big'

'Skies the limit' 

'Don't hold back'

...how often do we actually do that? 

How often do we allow ourselves to ask for what we really want?

Maybe you do allow yourself to ask and take action towards goals yet still find yourself in times of struggle and hardship?

I have seen both with myself and clients, that so many of us place ourselves at times, in these containers of 'I don't deserve it', 'I'm not good enough', 'don't be greedy' etc. Believing that if we are happy, successful and receive wonderful things then that's often considered as a threat to others. Now that's an unhappy belief to hold onto! 

What if we were to change things and start allowing ourselves to receive those gifts? If we allow ourselves to experience happiness then we naturally radiate that others, helping the world to be a brighter place.

I was reminded of this on a recent holiday to Menorca. I emailed the reception staff before travelling to check if I could have two single beds, for myself and my friend who was joining me in the studio flat I reserved. I thought, "you know what I really would love? Is a studio flat with a sea view and a terrace too. Why not?" I considered it for a moment as I heard the dialogue starting in my mind "You can't ask for all of that, it's too much, you're just being greedy, you're already requesting a change of the beds blah blah blah." I observed the thoughts and then let them go proceeding to request what I wanted regardless, ceasing to listen to the limiting beliefs further. 

[Before I continue, I'd like to add that everyone has moments of doubt and negative self talk at some point in their lives (yes even NLP coaches!). I point this out to let you know that it's OK. It's what makes us human. Be kind to yourself, as it's what we do with these thoughts that really count. The less we focus on these doubts and detach from the negative stories we tell ourselves, the less they will have an impact on our lives.]

Later that day I received a response, saying that all the studio flats were on the ground floor with no sea views and no terrace so the extra requests were not possible. "Fair enough" I thought, "Even though it would be really nice (and I believe I deserve it!)... I'll let it go." 

When I arrived to check in, despite my initial booking all the studios were unavailable as they accidentally double booked themselves the last minute. 

This resulted in receiving a completely free upgrade to a 3 bedroom flat with sea views and a terrace. 

Result!!

Would I have still received that if I hadn't emailed that request? Who knows. 

However, I am sure that by...

• Allowing myself to request that and put the message out there regardless
• Being open to receiving what I wanted (i.e. believing that I deserved it) 
• AND most importantly letting go of the 'how' and fearful attachments to the results

...helped to bring that into reality (more on how we create our reality here). 

When manifesting/goal setting if we are constantly stuck in a place of doubt, fear, 'I don't deserve it' mentality... even whilst taking action towards our goals, that's often when the struggles and set backs come into play. It's not to say everything will be completely 100% plain sailing if we don't. Just that by asking, believing and letting go of the reins of attachment it can help to make the ride a whole lot smoother. 

Next time you catch yourself wanting something and hearing that Gremlin in the back of your head with all the excuses, limiting beliefs and fears...take a moment and STOP.

1. Briefly observe the doubts and let them go by changing your focus back what you want - not what you don't want or the fears surrounding it. (More info on how to remove persistent limiting beliefs here)
2. Feel how good it could be to have that as you visualise it (Make it sensory based noting what you'll see, hear and feel)
3. Put the message out there by taking action. Bite-size, actionable steps to move towards that desired outcome.
4. Then, change your focus back 100% to whatever you were doing previously in the present moment. This helps to let go of attachment to fears and doubts and surrender to the flow of true manifestation. 

I often find the last step is the most powerful as it helps to release attachment and stop entertaining the fears and doubts. If these are left to linger within our focus they can reverse the whole manifestation process. This is the hidden key that most people forget about. Bringing our attention back to the present moment.

Try it. 

Notice what changes as you use that hidden key whenever you wish for something. Using the comments below share what you would love to receive in the next month and observe what thoughts come up. If you notice any 'I don't deserve it' beliefs, challenge them and state positive phrases to break that down such as 'I am choosing to deserve it' or 'With every breath I take my self worth grows stronger and stronger'. Then following the steps above notice what happens. 

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this post and offer a helping hand.

Until next time, happy manifesting ;-)

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Is It Selfish?

Pressures we tend to place on ourselves through the influence of society, our beliefs and values came into conversation the other day when talking with a friend.

We can sometimes get caught up in the ´need to please everyone´ and ´mustnt let people down´ that we can push ourselves too far. I used to be a very high achiever in this area many years ago in London. Constantly burning the candle at both ends regardless of how I felt. There was always an excuse to why I had to do something. Whilst I may have to remind myself occasionally, I can see how things have improved greatly since many years ago.

The underlying reason is often more to do with self worth than anything. Are we really valuing our needs in that moment? Or are we prioritising somebody else´s before ours?


Where do you place health and well being on your priority list?

What is your body whispering to you right now? What does it need?

Sure, its important to continue evolving, moving forward, and experiencing life to the full. However sometimes that experience is simply enough to sit still for a moment and listen to the sound of the wind in the trees. Being aware of our surroundings and really experiencing every moment through our senses.

Its all about balance. Knowing what feels right for us in each moment and acting on that to make our decision whether we want to enjoy some quite ´me time´ to relax or whether we feel like going out for a fun evening with friends.


Are you feeling guilty for taking time out for you?

What beliefs and fears are behind this?


Finding a balance is knowing your boundaries, trusting your gut feeling and being ok with saying ´Sorry I have plans already, is there another time we can both do?´. Time out for you, is just as valid as plans with a friend. Its more about what we prioritise in our lives, our level of self worth and our beliefs about the world rather than being seen as ´selfish´ as some may say.

By caring for yourself as one of your highest priorities, you are also being more loving and caring to others. Allowing yourself to be fully present, energised and and the most help to them rather than turning up tired, drained and distracted.

So its not so selfish after all!

How Are You Kind To Yourself?

With the end of the year drawing close, its a perfect time to look back at 2013 and reflect on what type of year it has been.

What have been the best 3 moments from the past year?

What do you want for 2014?

Many fun moments with friends and family are definitely up there in my top three. As well as completing my Master Practitioner course in NLP. 

Woahoo what a course that was!! 

I look forward to bringing new exercises and skills to personal coaching sessions to help shift core limiting beliefs and more.

Personally one of the themes for the past year has been self value. Not only did we work with value hierarchies during the master practitioner course, but through a few experiences I was reminded the power of self worth.

It is one of those things that is often thought in society that we need to be perfect, never make mistakes or show our vulnerable side. Researcher Brene Brown spent many years discovering the keys to whole-hearted living. It turned out those who where happiest had accepted their vulnerable side, valuing all parts of themselves. 

Do you value yourself?

How do you show yourself kindness, love and respect?

How can you value yourself more in 2014?

Brene Brown - TED Talk (Listening to shame)

Brene Brown - TED Talk (The Power of Vulnerability)