How To Find Your Personal Motivation Point

Many years ago when living with my parents in the UK we had a tropical fish tank filled with a rainbow of beautiful little fish. Over the course of a few months these fish began to disappear, apart from one, which in turn grew bigger and bigger and bigger. You can guess what was happening! 

One day when we relocated this fish to a bigger tank at the local pet store, it jumped out and starting flapping its way across our kitchen floor. Needless to say we all started screaming and running around the house like we had just seen a Yeti or something - some were even hugging each other and crying too! Yes, it looked as comical as it sounds.

In that moment I naturally started to do what we call in NLP 'checking ecology'. I considered all the options available possible consequences and used that information to motivate me to pick up the flapping fish and place it into the water again. Despite feeling very squeamish, I did it anyway because I could not bear to see the fish suffer nor could I sleep in peace if I had not done everything in my power to help it. 

In every situation where there is something that feels right to do, yet we are afraid to take action there can be powerful motivators to help us take that step. By considering all options and consequences (a.k.a. checking ecology) we can propel ourselves forward into brighter, happier experiences in the long run. 

As Susan Jeffers says... "Feel the fear and do it anyway!"

Perhaps there is something that you want to do at the moment such as asking someone out for a date or applying for that job you desire, yet you are currently stuck in a state of fear. Everyone is unique with different variations of beliefs and fears... for what one person fears and believes another may feel differently about it. And by taking a moment to consider the following questions you can tap into your own point of motivation and use that information to take your desired action. 

1. If I were to achieve/do/have ____X____ what would I gain?
2. If I didn't achieve/do/have ____X_____what would I gain? 
3. If I were to achieve/do/have _____X_____what would I lose? 
4. If I didn't achieve/do/have _____X______what would I lose?

Feel free to take it even further and consider... if you were to do nothing, taking no action at all what would your life experience be like in 3 months time? And 6 months time? And 1 years time? 

Notice what changes as you consider these questions. And what gave you the biggest boost of motivation? By taking time to consider the consequences of possible actions we can really kick start ourselves into action.

So as always, I invite you the next 30 days to put this into practice and 'check ecology' whenever you make decisions or work towards a goal. Use your personal motivation point and notice what changes when you do. 

This can be especially powerful as a reminder every time you want to procrastinate or self sabotage by eating unhealthy foods or avoiding exercise. We have a choice. Do you want something to change? Start by considering the questions above and use that extra energy to propel you into a more compelling future.

I'd love to hear from you - which question generated the most motivation for you? Using the comment section below please share your thoughts. Also, do you have a friend who is currently lacking in motivation? Offer a helping hand and share this post with them helping you both to Kick start this summer with an extra burst of energy in the right direction.

Wishing you all a great summer!

Ps/The big fish was very happy & healthy in his new home :-)

How To Feel More Satisfied In Life: Discover Your Personal Key...

"One day there was a little boy, he had a large cupboard filled with different toys in his bedroom. In that cupboard were 4 teddy bears all varying slightly in shape, size and colour. 

A little brown teddy bear at the front of the cupboard was the toy that was the most loved and cared for. It still looked in good condition as it was treated so well by this little boy. He loved this bear so much so that he had completely forgotten about the other three teddy bears towards the back of the cupboard. 

The other three were squashed and dusty, full of cobwebs and spiders as they had not been seen or touched since they had been placed into that cupboard. In his eyes, he only had one. That little brown bear."

Sometimes we can forget that there are other things within us that call for care and attention. We place all of our focus and attention onto our physical body for example and forget to nourish our other 'bodies'. Yes energetically speaking we have many!

Take a moment to consider all of the different 'bodies' you have from your physical, mental, to your emotional and even spiritual if not more. And ask yourself...which of these do I nourish the most?

To nourish means 'to supply with what is necessary for life, health, and growth', to care for, to maintain, to look after so you can experience health within that area. If we want to feel better emotionally, or to experience better mental health whether be it improving memory or reducing negative thoughts - by nourishing these 'bodies' we can experience greater health. Just as if you want to gain more physical muscle we nourish our physical body with physical exercise whatever that may be.

If you like, you can take this even further and consider all the different parts of you... your playful part, your loving part, your creative part, your intellectual part etc.

Which 'part' are you currently nourishing and satisfying the most?

Which is the most neglected and could do with some care and attention? 

If you were to create more of a balance between these 'bodies' or 'parts', how would that affect all areas of your life?

What would that look, sound and feel like?

So how can we nourish and satisfy these 'bodies' or 'parts' of ourselves? Think about what can help promote greater health, for example we know for the physical body wholefoods and exercise can work wonders, just as meditation for the mental body can help reduce negative thoughts over time. The emotional which can often be the most neglected due to fear of showing our vulnerabilities (or even fear of what we may find!) can be nourished by hugs, hearing uplifting music and more. Each person is different. 

The great thing is that many things can help many 'bodies'. As we know from the mind/body connection that meditation not only helps our mental body it can also affect our emotional and more. What this brings to light is self awareness, giving us a moment to tune in and simply consider those different parts or bodies within us, and if anything is crying out for our attention. And by doing so we can experience a more balanced and harmonious life with a greater sense of satisfaction. 

So if you were that little boy what would you do differently now? 

This month I challenge you to chose one small action that you can do on a daily/weekly basis that will nourish the 'body' or 'part' of yourself that is currently neglected. 

What will you choose? And notice how great that could feel afterwards!

As always I like to join in the NLP fun too ;-) so this month I'm going to listen to more uplifting music for the 'dancer' part of me now that my laptop is fixed. Let the party begin!

Do you have a friend that could benefit from this post? Give a helping hand by sharing this and empowering each other during the week whilst you both nourish yourselves back to wholeness.

Feels good doesn't it?

One Simple Trick To Deal With Overwhelm...

To do list's.

Decisions.

Worries & fears.

What can we do when thing's get too much? Is there a magic secret to reducing anxiety?

The topic of 'overwhelm' came up in conversation during a NLP meetup not long ago... a common challenge for many striving in society to be the perfect person with the perfect career, relationship, body, health etc. This image of perfection that has been portrayed in society as to what everyone 'needs' in order to be happy has it's consequences. 

Whilst it's great to move forward in life, gently challenging ourselves to step outside of our comfort zone and achieve our goals... by having too much emphasis on 'needing' more in order to be happy can put ourselves in a very unhappy place if we have yet to achieve it. 

And gives us a pretty overwhelming list of things to achieve too.

Letting go of our need for perfection can help let go of internal overwhelm.

Internal? 

Yes, there are two main types of overwhelm as I know it...

Internal...

People can feel overwhelmed on an internal basis - focusing on too many thoughts, worries, fears, regrets, not knowing what decisions to make.

It has become common human nature to regret and worry about past and future events, lack of trust and confidence in our ability and decision making. Creating a complex web of worries and fears. Jumping from idea to idea... dancing around every painful memory, possible outcomes and fears about what may happen.

Essentially everything BUT what is happening in the present moment. 

One way to reconnect is to mindfully observe what surrounds us in the present moment. Mentally noting... 'chair, table, glass' etc or whatever is in our surroundings can be a quick way to switch off the mental chatter and regain a moment of presence in our life. 

External...

People can feel overwhelmed on an external basis - sensory overload when they are in busy, stimulating situations such as in big crowds, shopping centres, city centres etc.

Modern day lifestyle has changed the way human beings live dramatically - loosing the tranquility and simplicity of being connected with nature and ourselves. Being in place of non stop hustle and bustle, noise and commotion. 

And for those of us who need our peace and quiet, busy situations can become unbearable. 

How I dealt with overwhelm...

Being a highly empathetic and sensitive person, I used to struggle a lot with external overwhelm. So much so that I experienced extreme anxiety and panic attacks in the past on a daily and weekly basis. Being in crowed places used to be unbearable. 

Whilst there were many things that helped, one simple trick that helped me the most was tuning out everything that was going on around me, shifting my focus to one point only... my thumb and index finger. 

By bringing my attention here and noticing the sensation of the tips of these two fingers gently rubbing against each other dramatically changed my focus. My breathing slowed and deepened, my muscles relaxed and I felt a lot calmer. If ever I catch myself absorbing too much external information or thinking about too many things, this simple action brings me back to the present moment quickly and effectively.

We become overwhelmed when we focus on too much at once, whether be it internally or externally.

So the trick is to simply reduce our focus to ONE thing only. 

One small physical touch or sensation can help significantly to bring more clarity and calm into our life. Some people use their breath, some use a song, an image or an object as a reminder... find what works for you. 

Something to pull us back to the present moment, one small area of focus so we can then see the situation from a more helpful perspective. 

I'd love to hear from you! What do you notice when you practice this technique in moments of overwhelm? Let me know in the comment section below.

Have a loved one who suffers from overwhelm? Offer a helping hand and forward this blog post. 

Want more? Check out my latest FREE resources, events and trainings here. 

How To Let Go Of Excess Emotional Baggage

Emotions are funny things aren't they? 

Catching us off guard and making us say things we don't want to say or do what we don't want to do. Common belief is that things just happen to us...we have no control over life and how we feel - now that's a powerless position to put ourselves in! And a scary one too, never knowing what's around the corner or if we'd be able to handle it.

Can we really control our emotions? 

Good news. The answer is YES! How we experience life is much to do with what is going on in our 'control tower' - our brain! The thoughts and images that we choose to focus on in our mind all have a meaning that we attach to it. For each person the meanings are different - we each have our own 'map of the world' or 'pair of glasses' if you like and its by focusing on these meanings, thoughts and beliefs that we have the control of creating lighter or heavier emotional states. It's up to us. 

Not easy, I know.

I certainly have my moments too. The magic part though is being aware and accepting responsibility which can bring a HUGE sense of freedom. We have a choice, we can mope around all day and point the finger elsewhere (easy to do!) or we can accept that the quickest way things will change is by doing something about it and to start changing our focus (more effort at first but oh so more rewarding!).  

So when you next catch yourself starting to feel sad, angry or frustrated...trace back your thoughts and notice where your focus was. Quite often you'll notice negative thoughts such as 'its not working, I cant do anything right' or 'he hasn't replied, he's lost interest in me'...hmmm not so uplifting thoughts eh? 

No wonder we feel rubbish afterwards!

So how can we let go of the emotional baggage if we find ourselves swimming in heavy emotions? 


1) Openness & Loving Awareness: Being open to consider a different perspective, noticing how we feel and tracing back our thoughts to find the root cause. Notice the word 'loving' here. This is not about beating ourselves up again for having a negative thought in the first place...simply be curious and notice.

2) Re-framing: Challenge your thoughts and beliefs and re-frame the situation. Is it really that 'he's lost interest'? Or perhaps he's had a challenging day?

3) Creative Release: If you still feel some of that emotion you wish to let go of, find a creative outlet to release it whether be that through dance, exercise, writing or art etc. I often encourage clients to write what I call the 'I feel...' page if I notice there needs to be more of a release. 

Taking out an A4 piece of paper and repeating and finishing the sentence 'I feel...' until they have completely covered the page. Emotions are like energetic heavy weights if we hold onto them...by writing things down we can let go of some of those weights, allowing the emotions to express their true nature and simply be the 'energy in motion' that they are. Its our constant focus on unhelpful thoughts, judgement and lack of creative release that makes them heavier. Writing the 'I feel...' page followed by screwing up and throwing away the paper can create a huge relief. I also use this technique if ever there is a time I feel the need to let go of excess emotional baggage and it works wonders.

Being an empathetic person myself (yes, its my number one Gallup strength too!) can have its pros and cons. Whilst I often feel what clients are feeling and sense intuitively what needs to be worked on in each moment it can also mean I need to be very loyal to my personal well-being to then ensure I can continue giving the best service possible. Just like when you're travelling by plane and they say 'place your own mask on first before helping others' - because if you don't you simply cannot help others effectively. 


These above tools are fundamental for any empathetic person, or anyone dealing with unpleasant emotions. Try it, notice how much lighter you can feel and let me know what difference you notice in the comments below! Or perhaps you have a technique that works great for you, I'd love to hear your thoughts - feel free to share with everyone in the comments below.

Its through the practice where the real magic happens! 

And finally, do you have friends currently struggling with their emotions? Forward on this post and create pack for a week with your friend, both supporting each other through the 3 step process and discussing the changes that occur...as they say sharing is caring and a helping hand can work wonders. 

30 days that altered my life...

Last year, I created a 30 day interactive online event. 

Mainly out of curiosity to see what would happen...a little bit of an experiment if you like.

Also as a way to add some positive news to social media feeds and as something useful to help boost peoples emotional states (including my own). 

What happened blew me away. I was AMAZED by the level of interaction, response and effect this experiment had on both myself and others.

I first invited a few dear friends to join me in 30 days of thanks, starting with a post that I would add each day about something I was grateful for in life, followed by posts from whoever wished to add their own messages of thanks. By the end of the event, over 81 people from around the world had joined and were participating with their messages of thanks in 4 different languages...even friends of friends joined in, some of which I had never met!

It has been shown in many studies how thoughts and  actions of gratitude can have a huge impact on our mental, emotional and physical well being. Yet so many of us forget to acknowledge this in our day to day lives.

It is all too common to focus on what we don't want, what we are missing, how other people 'have it better than us', they are 'luckier'. However by doing so we are literally programming our brains and unconscious mind to create more of what we don't want in life. 

Our Reticular Activating System (part of the brain related to goal setting) doesn't know the difference between good and bad, real and imaginary. When we think other people are 'luckier' than us, it's as if someone has written onto our forehead saying 'I don't deserve anything nice...don't give me anything'...and you know what? We are the one creating this self fulfilling prophecy!

By shifting the balance and acknowledging what we have right now, we are essentially sticking a sign on top of our heads saying 'open to receiving more of the good stuff, bring it on!' which in turn affects how people relate to us and what we experience in life.

So how did this alter my life? Not only did I notice a huge positive shift in my emotional state, feeling more optimistic, happier and connected both during the event and after. I also started to include this in my daily life and have done since that event. I now continue making a note whenever I feel grateful for something. 

I also keep a reminder on my phone...pops up every now and again to bring me back to a state of love and compassion if ever I have drifted away with worries and fears. It's become more of a habit and I intend to keep it that way...a healthy, happy habit which makes life oh so more enjoyable. 

And don't take my word for it, try it yourself!

Here below is a little snippet of what thanks messages were posted during the experiment, as you can see privacy has been protected. I invite you to post in the comments below, what are you most grateful for right now and why? No matter how big or small.

And to boost your level of happiness even more, why not challenge yourself to a 30 days of thanks starting from today? 

I wonder how even more wonderful you could feel? ;-)

For more information, FREE podcast audios, FREE gifts, FREE online community and more check out my website at www.emmabradford.net

Self Development: How Far Is Too far?

The self-development industry (or what I like to call...Self-Awareness) has exploded over years... it seems more and more people are searching for something deeper.

A connection and awareness to feel more fulfilled in life.

A while ago, a wonderful discussion at my NLP meetup got me thinking further on this topic...

How far is too far when it comes to Self Development? 

And is Self Improvement just a form of not accepting yourself?

If we continue to strive towards goals, continuously making changes within, always looking to reach somewhere... how does that fit in with learning to accept and love ourselves in the moment?

Some say we need to just accept everything as it is, whilst others say we need to achieve SMART goals and continue moving forward making changes until we become who we want to be.

As with many things, I believe it is the art of personal balance. It's not that we either have one or the other, the two are very much connected and part of the same thing.

Helping us to enjoy life!

Finding the right harmony between continuing to let go of what no longer works (i.e. limiting beliefs, unhelpful habits, and achieving new goals that connect us closer to our true essence) alongside a more mindful, grateful and present approach to life can lead to a deeper, fulfilled connection with ourselves and our life experience.

It's to do with the approach and attitude we take than anything.

You can use self-development techniques from a place of self hatred, 'I don't like myself, I need to become a new person'

or

You can use self-development techniques from a place of self love. 'I notice this habit is unhelpful for me so I choose learn from it and then remove it because I care about myself and my future'

It's making choices out of love, rather than fear. 


The Two A's...

Self Acceptance
Increases Self-Esteem levels, helps us to feel loved
Helps in letting go of unnecessary grudges, fears, beliefs etc
Boosts Confidence to try new things, step out of comfort zone so to achieve any desired goals
Is all about enjoying the journey along the way, taking a kinder and more mindful approach to our Self Awareness practice
Seeing perceived imperfections and flaws with love and choosing to let go of only what no longer serves us for our highest good
And much more...

Self Awareness
Is using techniques such as NLP or other to discover more about ourselves, so we continue to grow and evolve
Helps us find out what really makes us tick, what are the root causes to our current challenges, how can we re-frame them and learn from these?
Helps us to keep moving forward, creating movement and direction in our life
Brings deep insight and understanding of the current situation and what may need shifting
And much more...

Consider this...

If we truly loved and accepted ourselves, would we continue unhelpful habits that were harming us well into our future? Self-acceptance can also mean letting go of what no longer works... accepting the need for change and removing the limiting beliefs, uncovering the real us inside.

It's the observing and the allowing things to move. It's the sitting 'with'... and the non-attachment for that very thing to transform too. 


Check in...
If you are facing a challenge at the moment ask yourself the following...

Is this habit, belief or situation harming me?
Is this habit, belief or situation holding me back?
Does this habit, belief or situation help me gain anything? If so what? How can I achieve that same gain in more helpful way?
If I no longer had this habit, belief or situation, how would my life be different?

By noticing your answers to these questions you can determine what action you can take to create loving self awareness. This may require you to use Self Awareness techniques whether be it NLP or other to remove unhelpful habits or limiting beliefs you may find that are no longer necessary.

Because what is it really about?

Simply to enjoy life, and some would say that is getting out there, trying new things, letting go of unhelpful beliefs and fears, whilst also enjoying the flowers along the way.



I'd love to hear from you! Comment below, what do you find useful from this post and how will that impact your daily life?

Have a friend in need? Offer them a helping hand and share this post.

Want more? FREE resources, events and trainings available here. 

Dancing To Success

Yes inspiration and wisdom can sometimes come from the most unexpected sources! I find often its more an attitude; if we are open, receptive and curious we can gain the most valuable insights from what we experience in life. This song below reminds me of my beautiful sister, who was the person that introduced me to my first official 5 Rhythms dance class many years ago. It was from 5 Rhythms that I discovered the power of movement and how it can positively affect our emotions. 

I often talk about the MIND/BODY connection in workshops and meetup practice groups...we know through NLP and many other documented studies over the years that the mind can affect the physical and emotional bodies. What we believe and focus our attention on grows and can alter how we feel both physically and emotionally. 

Don't take my word for it - experience it for yourself! Try focusing the next 15 seconds on a memory where you felt so much excitement, happiness and joy that you were literally jumping for joy and grinning ear to ear. As you breathe into this start to notice what changes with your posture, energy levels and breath etc...your physical and emotional bodies are responding to your thoughts. 

Also through the research of TED speaker Amy Cuddy and many other studies we know that our body can also affect our thoughts and emotions. What postures we hold ourselves in can in turn either create feelings of confidence and high level of self esteem or it can make us feel more introverted and lacking in confidence. Everything is connected. Whether we choose to use this wisdom or not is up to us. 

So if you're starting this year with new goals and you're noticing a few limiting beliefs or fears cropping up, I challenge you this month to use your body alongside other techniques to help propel you to success. 

For example...

You may have the goal to start meditating this year and as you try, you notice limiting beliefs coming up such as 'I cant do it', 'Its boring', 'Its too hard'. 

Challenge those beliefs by finding evidence in your life for the opposite positive belief and/or possible solutions...

'I can do it, I tried a new skill of salsa dancing last year and succeeded'

'There are many different meditation techniques out there, I'll find something fun or an app to get me started'

'If its so hard why are so many people doing it? What will make it easier for me?'

Alongside that use your body and literally 'shake off' any fears or doubts. 

By doing something physical, shaking off any unhelpful emotions, you can then help your mind to 'shake off' the fears and beliefs. Scientifically speaking, the exercise will help raise your levels of Serotonin, Endorphins and Dopamine (the feel good hormones) which in turn help you to feel better about yourself and starting a new goal. It will literally be that kick start to get you going. Not only that, it can also help you to bounce back easily with kindness for yourself if ever you get lost along the way. 

The MIND/BODY connection is a wonderful thing. Next time you you feel resistance, fear, doubts, or anger about a challenge/upsetting situation, use this connection to your advantage. Notice what shifts with your thoughts, emotions and physical body as you do this. 

You don't even need to go to a dance class. Its not about constraining ourselves by learning specific steps*...its about letting go...dancing from within as if no one is watching. And for that, all you need is your body...and maybe a few funky beats ;-)

Try it this month, shake off the fears, shake off the frustration and shake into the success you desire. 

See you on the dance floor! 

*Depending on the type of dance obviously!

How Things Can Change...

This time last year I was in a whirlwind of travel.

Discovering layers of myself I never new existed and having my brain stretched until it hurt with Quantum Linguistics. 

Where was I?...my old home town, London, completing a NLP Master Practitioner training with Jessica Robbins. 

And WOW what a Autumn that was! 

Never before did I think how much recognising and shifting your values could have an effect on your life.

One Of The Side Effects...80s Power Poses!

Since then, its been a remarkable journey and I look forward to the many wonderful adventures that may come their way.

Now entering the final month of 2014, this is a great opportunity to take a moment and reflect how far we have all come since this time last year. 

Sometimes looking back briefly can be just as important as focusing on the present and knowing where you are headed. With a quick glance back you can recognise all that you have achieved so far, remember the wonderful surprises and gifts that you found along the way and also remind yourself about what you have learnt so far that can assist you in making even better choices in the future. At times we may feel stuck, or that we're going backwards in life struggling to get to where we want. 

Where in reality, things have shifted... if we take a moment to notice.

If we are so busy looking ahead or worrying about current situations it can be easy to forget how some things may have shifted in the last 12 months. We don't even notice how far we have come. 

So by taking a moment to breathe, in and out, I invite you to think back on the last 12 months and take a moment to consider...

What has changed?

What have you learnt?

What would you like to bring into 2015?

What would you like to let go of for 2015? 

May this be the beginning of a wonderful month of festivities (what ever that may mean for you)...I certainly look forward to the country walks and glowing log fires...maybe even a few 'hilarious' cracker jokes thrown in too.

Above all I encourage you to make this month a celebration of where you have come from this past year. Through the highs and lows, the discomfort and triumphs, and smiles and tears...

...I invite you to find 3 things that you are proud of.

3 things no matter how big or small, that you know you did your best at that time, you tried something new or you made the most of an experience in this past year. 

Whatever they may be, by acknowledging a few things that you are proud of or grateful for can help to create even more joy in the present moment. These moments, these little (or BIG!) successes deserve to be acknowledged and celebrated. By doing so you can boost your self esteem, confidence and motivation levels even further to kick start the next 12 months. 

Go on I dare you to give yourself a pat on the back ;-)

So what is your top 3? 

I'll leave you with that, and not forgetting to wish you all a Happy Celebratory Month and a 'Happy Sprout Day'* on the 25th as my dear friend says!

See you next Month!

*Brussels Sprouts in case you were wondering. 

The Power Of One Simple Word...

'Prepare for the worse case scenario'...'Don't get your hopes up'...

How many of these phrases have you heard throughout your life so far? 

Whilst being aware of the consequences (i.e. checking Ecology as we call in in NLP) is extremely helpful...sometimes if we place too much emphasis on what we don't want...what could 'go wrong'...or what we are missing...we simply affirm to ourselves and others to bring us in life more of what we don't want. 

After all the grass is greener where we water it. In other words where we place our attention, our focus, our energy...that area continues to grow. 

Sonia Choquette, an Intuitive Spiritual Teacher has always emphasised the power of the word 'Wonder'. 'I wonder...' opens up possibilities, connects with our creativity and imagination to start creating what we desire.

For example, imagine that there are two friends...friend A and friend B:

Friend A starts the day waking up thinking 'Oh crap, another miserable day I bet I'll get stuck in traffic again, and I bet that my boss will be in another of his bad mood as always...etc etc'

Friend B starts the day waking up and thinking 'I wonder what wonderful things will happen today...'

Essentially what friend B is doing is exercising their creativity, imagination, and having fun in the process. They are also telling their RAS (Recticular Activating System) what they want to focus on and what they wish to experience. Friend A is also communicating with their RAS, however to create different outcomes...by telling their RAS to find more of what they don't want.

In NLP we talk about the RAS, a part of our brain as it is fundamental in goal setting. It acts as a filter between the conscious and unconscious mind, acting as a faithful servant to our thought process. If we feed it with positive thoughts, it will set out to prove those true, just as if we were to feed it limiting thoughts such as 'Nothing is going right...I'm going to have a crap day´ it will also set out to prove those true. Our RAS cannot differentiate between positive and negative. It simply acts like a dog finding the ball its master has thrown out there...it fnds the evidence and brings it to our attention. 

This is not to say that you will completely cease to have any challenges, set backs or disappointments by starting the day this way...they can still come into our lives as they do with anyone. It simply means you will start noticing more of the 'wonderful moments' and yes in turn attract more into your day to day life as you begin to shift your focus. 

So notice what kind of day you could have if you fed your RAS with thoughts like "I wonder what wonderful things will happen today..." 

Your RAS will start bringing to your attention little surprises and wonderful pleasures of life and as you bring your focus to these areas and that your beliefs are aligned...you will start attracting even more into your life.

Notice what wonderful, little treasures come into your life when you start the day with wonder...its a lot more fun thinking that way too ;-) 

Happy November!

One Of The Most Important Things In Life...

One of the most important things in life...

Can you guess what it is?

Of course there are many important things... we all need shelter, nourishment, air to breathe, connection with others etc. 

Tony Robbins often talks about the 6 Basic Human Needs which are...

• Significance
• Love 
• Certainty (perceived)
• Variety
• Growth
• Contribution
  

In order to live a happy and fulfilled life we all need some level of each of these. Too much (perceived) certainty and life becomes predictable and boring... too much UNcertainty and we can feel lost, on edge, anxious and fearful. Each person has a different percentage of each need that they feel satisfied with. 

So back to my question... what's one of the most important things in life?

Good Vibrations Barcelona World Dance Day 2018

FUN.

Simple right?

Fun can fit within the 6 basic human needs, we can have fun that also brings us a sense of variety. Fun can help us to grow, feel loved or even that we are contributing to the planet. It simply depends on what the activity is and how we perceive the experience. 

So often we rush around life, wanting to 'achieve' more, 'do' more, 'earn' more... which often come with a lot of added pressure to succeed. Sometimes we take things (and ourselves) waaaay too seriously. 

As George Bernard Shaw once said...

"We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing"

Not only does play help to keep us young, flexible and full of energy, it can also make life a whole lot more interesting if we are enjoying the ride rather than whipping ourselves for not being perfect. One of the many reasons I'm one of the Good Vibrations Barcelona organisers... the activities we do are fun!

So I invite you, as I have done with my clients (and also myself too many times) to add a little more fun into your weeks.

'I wonder... what can I do this week that is simply for no other reason...  is silly, fun, and entertaining?'

Below is a link to a video by friend Peter Sharp, helping those commuting to work to experience the journey a little differently. Something to add a little bit of Fun to peoples day.

Happiness Is Just A Skip Away

Enjoy!



Now I'd love to hear from you... what element of FUN will you bring into your week? Let me know in the comment section below.

Have a friend seeking support? Offer a helping hand and share this post. 

Want more? Check out my website for FREE resources, events and trainings www.emmabradford.net 

7 Ways To Find Comfort In Times Of Uncertainty

What do we do when something unexpected happens? 

Do we become stuck in a state of anger blaming everything and everyone around us? 

Or do we notice emotions arising, choosing to observe, learn and move on? 

I was reminded about this on a recent trip to the UK when I had each flight delayed 2 hours and a car break down all in one weekend. Yes really! It was through these experiences that  my travelling partners and I were reminded of the helpful aspects of previously perceived 'set backs' and times of uncertainty.

We have a choice...we can choose some of the below options or we can choose to remain stuck in a state of anger. It's ok to notice some frustration and anger...its what we do with the emotions that count. To hold on, resist and try to shift the responsibility to others may not necessarily bring the healthiest outcome.

• We can start observing the present moment...which for many people passes by without much thought or attention (myself included at times). With these moments we can take a moment to sit, observe and take in what is really going on around us. Would we really notice families hugging, or hearing a child's laugh if we didn't have that moment to stop? And by noticing this how does that affect your state? Also by observing how we feel internally we may notice we may need to give ourselves some more comfort before we angrily snap at others.

• We can find hidden benefits...that we may have missed previously. How have you benefited from this setback or moment of delay? What have you gained? What have you learnt?

• We can build a greater connection with ourselves and others. Without that moment to stop would you be having that conversation? Without that moment would you take the time to reflect and connect to yourself? 

• We are reminded not to take things for granted. We can assume that everything will go according to plan, which (with travel especially) anything could happen. What are you grateful for in this moment? 

• We can become more flexible...through experiences like these we then know how to deal with any future situations that could arise.

• We can have a moment to re-evaluate our life...is this situation reflecting anything for you and your travel partners? What can you learn from this?

• We can take a moment to rest...which sometimes many people often don't do. Having that moment to stop, breathe and observe can act like a meditation for the mind and body. 

• We may surprise ourselves...sometimes through unexpected situations we can realise things about ourselves that we may of not previously noticed. Old beliefs connected to situations may no longer seem to be an issue. What is different now?

If you notice that you are becoming frustrated or angry when in a situation ask yourself this...

Is it really worth holding onto this anger? And what emotion is lying underneath this? Often fear is hidden away beneath the initial frustration...fear of what may or may not happen, anxiety of the uncertainty, sadness of missing out on something or even fear of what people may think. Upon realising this we have the choice to either hold on to unhelpful states or embrace ourselves in a time of need.

Observing, connecting, finding the hidden benefits and taking a moment to breathe...

It's that comfort that can help us feel whole lot better.

What do you find helps? 

How to Increase Your Happiness Easily and Effectively

Whilst enjoying a lovely picnic the other day catching up with a dear friend, we started to discuss peoples passions in life and how my friend met a young woman recently who gave up everything so to enjoy her passion...dancing. She finally decided enough was enough after years of depression and stress, and made the change to to live life to the full doing what she loved. The result? She felt much happier.

If you are feeling stressed, run down, anxious or noticing random physical ailments and symptoms* I invite you to question what could be causing this. The majority of the time it can simply be because we are not incorporating what excites us, makes us smile or laugh into our life.

If you were to make a list of all the things you love doing (and I mean LOVE) as if something has once again ignited that flame inside, put a huge grin on your face and wrapped you in a warm comforting sunshine...what would this list contain? Sometimes the most simple, free things are the most wonderful.

A few that made it onto my list included blackberry picking in the countryside wearing wellies (yes really!) and photographing the incredible beauty of flowers. Notice what goes onto your list and ask yourself...


What does that say about who I am as a person?

How much am I incorporating into my life at the moment?

How can I bring more of these into my life?


And then notice what changes as you begin to do more of these on a weekly basis.

How are you living your life? Working in a job you hate, commuting long hours and finding comfort in the form of food or harmful habits? Or do you find time each week or day to take a few breaths outdoors in the park, call a dear friend for a chat or hear your favourite song and dance around your living room?

Often many of these things on our lists take under half an hour and if it places a smile on face, brings happiness and warmth to your day then surely its half an hour well spent. Bringing back that sparkle to your eyes.

When we use anchors or take part in activities that we enjoy, we build up our state feeling, happier, healthier and full of energy. When we feel like this, a small incidence or set back becomes like a raindrop on a waterproof coat...it simply rolls off and ceases to bother us. Useful isn't it?

So I invite you to incorporate at least 3 things you LOVE into your next week and notice what changes...and feel free to share your findings, I would love to hear your experiences.

May this be the beginning of many more fulfilling weeks to come - have a great week!

*For serious health concerns always consult a trained Health Care Practitioner/Doctor

Authenticity Or Fitting In To Please Others?

I first came across Lissa Rankin whilst looking at TED videos online over a year ago. I immediately shared the link with my sister, who is a Doctor with a keen interest in integrated medicine. She instantly became a fan, and often returns the shares with excerpts taken from books and newsletters written by Lissa. 

Below is a quote from one of Lissa's newsletters, written as if its from your inner core, your intuitive part, your soul (what Lissa refers to as your Inner Pilot Light) as if its talking to you directly. It is so beautiful I felt the need to share it here on this blog. 

We can often see our 'flaws' as imperfections rather than a great unique quality. We suppress ourselves so that we can feel accepted and have a sense of belonging. When in truth, by showing our vulnerable side, connecting from a place of authenticity and value for ourselves we can often feel an even greater sense of love and belonging than previously imagined. 

"You try so hard to fit in and all I want you to do is stop and cherish your uniqueness.

What good would it do a rainbow if all of the colours wanted to be like each other instead of shining individually? Would it be as lovely?

What good would it do an orchestra if all the instruments sounded the same? Would it create such breathtaking sounds?

The world is beautiful because of its uniqueness, and you are beautiful because of the same uniqueness, my sweet.

No more fitting in, dear one. Shine for who you are. The world needs you.

Standing with you,

Your Inner Pilot Light"

Lissa Rankin

 What will you choose today?

Removing Self Critcism

Beliefs about ourselves can affect the life we experience. Not only can these Limiting Beliefs lower our confidence and self esteem, they can also filter our reality so we only experience a life that matches beliefs we store at an unconscious level.

Maybe you notice at times a critical voice inside saying 'I can't do that because...' 'I can't have that because...' 'I can't be that because...'

Sometimes these beliefs can be hidden too, we go about our life working towards a goal and on a unconscious level self sabotage our efforts...all because deep down there is a limiting belief.

Hidden Limiting Beliefs can be found in many different ways, one simple way to start is by stating in the present tense that you have/are whatever you were working towards - as if you have achieved it already. Notice what thoughts come up after...quite often a limiting belief can pop up.


Wouldn't it be great to let go of this self criticism?


On the 19th of July I will be explaining how to...

1) UNCOVER hidden limiting beliefs; find out what is really holding you back.

2) LOOSEN limiting beliefs using specific NLP Language Patterns for both yourself and others.

3) REMOVE Limiting Beliefs using simple yet effective NLP exercises and start believing you CAN achieve your desired outcome.

More information can be found here


If you are not part of meetup.com and wish to attend simply email info@emmabradford.net and I can reserve you a place.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

Two of The Most Powerful Words...

Do you know what two of the most powerful words are?

And do you want to find out what made me become a NLP Practitioner?

Recently I was interviewed by Spiritual Life Coach Katja Rusanen, here is the LINK. 

Enjoy!

Less Correcting and More Connecting

I was at work tidying away the boxes of tea and noticed a phrase on the tea bag label of a well known herbal tea company. 

This phrase made me stop and think when I came across it. Not only because its something that I have worked on personally in the past, it is also something that I have found quite common among people I have encountered throughout my life so far.

Do less correcting and more connecting

When we correct ourselves from an area of judgement we disconnect from our true self, become stuck in a state of fear and limiting beliefs of 'I'm not good enough' = loosing the connection

When we correct others through judgements we build up a wall between them and us = loosing the connection.

What is important here is to acknowledge what we mean by correction. It may seem hypocritical for some for a NLP Coach to say not to correct to ourselves and improve areas of our life. It depends what you mean by correcting. Personally, NLP is about remembering who we are and our great capabilities. So whilst it may feel that we are correcting (improving) ourselves, what we are really doing is remembering our true selves before we piled on the limiting beliefs and self sabotaging behaviours.

So the real issue here is... are we correcting (improving) areas of our self from a place of love, releasing what no longer benefits us or are we correcting (judging) from a place of fear?

Correcting out of judgement can break connections. If we continue to judge others and ourselves we just drift further away from the connection we desire. Note that writing this doesn't mean I am perfect either, its through my many mistakes and challenges and a couple of successes that I feel I can talk about topics such as this.

When we accept all of our imperfections, continuing to improve what no longer works for us we connect to our core, our true self = more connection

When we accept others as they are whilst maintaining respect and value for ourselves, we build a stronger connection between us = more connection

This does not mean to say that you need to accept hurtful or harmful behaviour from others by not ´correcting´ them. You can still connect in a loving relationship or friendship whilst being a high value person. High value, meaning that you acknowledge your needs and desires whilst cooperating with the other, accepting their map of the world too and finding a solution that works for the highest good of everyone.

Good Vibrations Barcelona - I Trust you, Do You Trust Me Social Experiment www.facebook.com/goodvibrationsbarcelona

Correcting (improving) to then remember our true self and our capabilities can enhance connection

Correcting out of judgement and fear can move us further away from ourselves and harm connections with others

By noticing judgements that come up in day to day life we can question ourselves what may be behind that initial judgement and acknowledge that from a place of love.


Are we fearful about what others may think?

Are we so scared of rejection that we reject others first?


Are we continuing to find faults in ourselves so to confirm the ´Im not good enough´ limiting belief and remain in our comfort zone? For some to release this is more scary than the affect of the belief itself. For some succeeding can be frightening as it questions all the limitations we had previously believed and it brings unknown experiences.


When do you feel most connected to yourself and others?

How can you increase these connections on a daily/weekly basis?