7 Ways To Find Comfort In Times Of Uncertainty

What do we do when something unexpected happens? 

Do we become stuck in a state of anger blaming everything and everyone around us? 

Or do we notice emotions arising, choosing to observe, learn and move on? 

I was reminded about this on a recent trip to the UK when I had each flight delayed 2 hours and a car break down all in one weekend. Yes really! It was through these experiences that  my travelling partners and I were reminded of the helpful aspects of previously perceived 'set backs' and times of uncertainty.

We have a choice...we can choose some of the below options or we can choose to remain stuck in a state of anger. It's ok to notice some frustration and anger...its what we do with the emotions that count. To hold on, resist and try to shift the responsibility to others may not necessarily bring the healthiest outcome.

• We can start observing the present moment...which for many people passes by without much thought or attention (myself included at times). With these moments we can take a moment to sit, observe and take in what is really going on around us. Would we really notice families hugging, or hearing a child's laugh if we didn't have that moment to stop? And by noticing this how does that affect your state? Also by observing how we feel internally we may notice we may need to give ourselves some more comfort before we angrily snap at others.

• We can find hidden benefits...that we may have missed previously. How have you benefited from this setback or moment of delay? What have you gained? What have you learnt?

• We can build a greater connection with ourselves and others. Without that moment to stop would you be having that conversation? Without that moment would you take the time to reflect and connect to yourself? 

• We are reminded not to take things for granted. We can assume that everything will go according to plan, which (with travel especially) anything could happen. What are you grateful for in this moment? 

• We can become more flexible...through experiences like these we then know how to deal with any future situations that could arise.

• We can have a moment to re-evaluate our life...is this situation reflecting anything for you and your travel partners? What can you learn from this?

• We can take a moment to rest...which sometimes many people often don't do. Having that moment to stop, breathe and observe can act like a meditation for the mind and body. 

• We may surprise ourselves...sometimes through unexpected situations we can realise things about ourselves that we may of not previously noticed. Old beliefs connected to situations may no longer seem to be an issue. What is different now?

If you notice that you are becoming frustrated or angry when in a situation ask yourself this...

Is it really worth holding onto this anger? And what emotion is lying underneath this? Often fear is hidden away beneath the initial frustration...fear of what may or may not happen, anxiety of the uncertainty, sadness of missing out on something or even fear of what people may think. Upon realising this we have the choice to either hold on to unhelpful states or embrace ourselves in a time of need.

Observing, connecting, finding the hidden benefits and taking a moment to breathe...

It's that comfort that can help us feel whole lot better.

What do you find helps? 

What To Do When You Make A Mistake...

Mistakes, imperfections, and flaws... something that in society we often want to cover up and ignore. 

To show our 'perfect' side whilst hiding fears and vulnerabilities below out of fear of rejection. If we only show this 'perfect' mask we have created are we being truly loved for ourselves? If we share our fears with loved ones they are seeing all of us, therefore we can feel a stronger, more genuine connection. 

"True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world" Brene Brown 

Making a mistake can be hard. If something doesn't go to plan it can come as a shock, a disappointment, a fear of 'what next?' and 'have I really got the energy to try again?'. It can be embarrassing, a fear of being laughed at, being seen as wrong or at the very core of it 'will I be rejected?' If inventors stopped after the first set back we would be missing a lot of things in the world that we enjoy today. True courage comes when we get back up and try again, using our set backs as stepping stones towards our desired outcome.

Here are 4 pointers I created to help with self forgiveness after making a mistake, and making the best choices for when you give it another shot...

1) Be kind to yourself

Self love is true self love when you comfort yourself with caring words during tough times or when you may have made a 'mistake'. How would you comfort a dear friend in this situation?


2) What have you learnt?

I say 'mistake' previously with apostrophes because if you have learnt something positive from a situation is it really a negative outcome if you now know what not to do next time? How has this experience benefited you and your future?


3) Make choices for your highest good

What will you benefit from most in the long term? To miss part of a course waiting for a friend as you fear going into room by yourself, or to meet your friend at the event so not to miss any of the course? For each person the choice will be different, its about finding what is right for you and your future. After all this is your life. What do you choose to do differently next time?


4) Choice check: Love vs Fear

Double check, are you making these choices out of fear or love? Love for yourself and your future, or fear of an uncomfortable situation and wanting to avoid it? What will give you the best outcome in the long term?

We are all perfectly imperfect. We can either ignore, despise it, or embrace it learning a great deal in the process, continuing to live life to the full.