Three Simple Words That Can Transform Your Relationship with Yourself and Loved Ones

“You just need to love yourself” then you’ll find the relationship / job / health / life (fill in the blank) of your dreams.

How many times have you heard this in the self-development space? 

On many levels yes, the relationship with yourself plays huge a role.

Though much in society is focused on the end goal, the end result, the final destination.

Whatever happened to the journey, the unfolding, the spaces between?

What if self-love has no a final destination and that at its deepest core it’s simply a dance of ongoing integration with gentle presence and awareness?

Self-love is not a something you get to, it’s something you practice.

Some days easier, other days difficult.

The hard days (with yourself, with loved ones) is where you truly get to practice and embody the true essence of love. 

Many people have a hard time with this and can barely tolerate themselves, let alone love themselves.

Thing is, you don’t need to go from zero to a hundred, hating yourself one minute (often ends up being directed at loved ones) and then demanding that you should love yourself, fully, perfectly, right now… forever. 

Exhausting.

Perhaps there’s an easier way.

To start feeling a little more compassion even if you’re still not fully loving everything about yourself right now.

Opening up to the idea of TENDERNESS. Gentle, loving presence.

To notice yourself in moments of criticism, judgement and bad habits, and say to yourself in that moment… “and that’s ok”.

To notice thoughts, feelings and emotions about being unworthy and unlovable arise and say to yourself “and that’s ok”.

You have the ability to transform an experience, in an instant, using only words. Words are mighty powerful. The words you use with others, with yourself, about yourself are the stories you place within the attention of your unconscious mind - the domain of the majority of your behaviour.

A few simple words.

It’s a soothing hug in a moment of fear, lack or judgement.

It’s a holding hand when you may feel unloved.

“And that’s ok”

Let’s be clear, this doesn’t mean that you remain in unhelpful patterns of thought or behaviour forever, using this as an excuse to never make constructive change in your life.

It’s simply a pause, a loving breather, to acknowledge in a moment ‘what is’ without the need to rush to change out of judgement.

The more this becomes a practice, the more “and that’s ok” becomes this self-acceptance mantra that you (and your loved ones) benefit from.

Softening.

With kindness, with gentleness, with presence.

Instead of being in a state of internal, shame, blame and conflict. You open up the door to relaxation, presence and more.

This isn’t ‘click’ your fingers once, and everything’s sorted forever.

Promises like that often don’t last as there’s no solid foundation of embodiment, practice and integration.

This is a journey of softening and opening with yourself, so you can relate to your loved ones from your core, rather than your mask.

What words help you? I'd love to hear.

Have a friend going through a difficult time? Offer a helping hand and share this post.

Want more? Full details on trainings, workshops, coaching, podcast and more on my website www.emmabradford.net

 

Struggles, The Self Awareness Industry & How I'm Finding Balance

10 years in the self-awareness industry professionally (and many more personally) and I’ve continuously reflected on the light and shadow within this field.



What works, what doesn't, what feels authentic, what doesn't.



Blame, gaslighting, abuse when in the wrong hands... and also support, information, insight, comfort, healing, community and more when used with integrity.

 

If you’ve studied with me or listened to Episode 1 (Podcast) you would have heard about these struggles which led me to almost quit my work 6 years ago... and also led me to create Wholehearted NLP (heart centred NLP trainings) for many years.


Whilst my work has shifted slightly (hello art, dance and creativity!) my continuous reflection on how to navigate this work ethically, responsibly and sustainably has always remained.

• How can I let people know about the support I offer in a way that is uplifting and inspiring rather than playing on pain points and struggles they may have?

• How can I use online marketing and social media in a way that supports and uplifts and also honours my boundaries and wellbeing rather than following trends and pushy sales?

I've done some things well, many things not so well and I've learnt a HUGE amount along the way.

10 years ago, I could post a title for an event on meetup and have 40 people attending with zero marketing.

Nowadays with the sheer amount of events, coaches, options, freebies, courses in the world means so many are overwhelmed, attention spans have reduced (thanks instagram reels, shorts and TikTok!), commitment levels and responses have shifted and many struggle to even keep up with basic daily communications and tasks.

This has meant many businesses over the years have looked for new ways to get noticed among the sea of options in order to continue their work - which led to many using aggressive pain point marketing tactics.



Point out the problem, and provide the solution.



I'm sharing all of this as I want to be as transparent as possible. Where I've been, what I'm focused on and how I'm navigating things as best I can so to continue offering support ethically and sustainably.

Whilst overall I feel I've kept the heart as a core focus of my work, there are things I have been reflecting on that I can improve. Not because anyone has said anything recently - they haven't - though because it's my priority to continue checking in, learning and improve how I work.

MY AIM IS TO

1) Be authentic, whilst also honouring my boundaries as I share online.

To share truths, vulnerabilities yet not need to use that as a way to grab attention and make money from it. Some professionals share every single aspect of daily life and I'm not one of them. I don't want to encourage people to continuously check for updates taking their attention away from real life.

• Why do I need to take Instagram photos of my breakfast to publicise my work?

• Why do I need to spill every personal detail online in order to get my posts seen by more?

When I'm not online I want to be in the moment LIVING and I encourage others to do the same. I'm aware this choice can affect my business. I’m aware of the value the online world can offer, connection it can bring, and that people want to connect to the real person (not the polished version) something I can improve on further. I’m also mindful of my boundaries for wellbeing too. I’ve tried many times having social media apps continuously on my phone and it doesn't work for me personally. 

At the time of writing this I have Instagram and Facebook content posted by my social media assistant. It's still my content and words though she posts it on my behalf and time to time I pop in to respond to messages and comments and post the odd story on Instagram. 

This format could change in the future, at the moment it's what works for me so I can focus my time and energy on sessions, trainings, podcast and creative projects. I love connecting to students online and in person (love receiving your messages and emails!) though posting instagram stories every single day doesn't feel authentic right now.



2) Celebrate myself as a woman, whilst honouring what feels good to post in regards to photos of my body.

Pictures of me get more engagement than any other post that I post. This frustrates me as I wish it was more about my words, my work than my body or face grabbing attention.

Many like a picture and ignore the description and scroll past. I'm mindful about what feels good, respectful towards myself. I don't want to sexualise myself in order to sell my work, yet I also see the power in women celebrating their bodies too - especially to help rewrite patriarchal views.

I’ve received many undesirable comments online from some men (not all - there are many respectful, conscious men out there too) over the years simply because I’m a woman posting publicly. Self-expression, allowing myself to be seen and also having strong boundaries is important.



3) Discern what aspects of social media communication feels good and not follow trends if it doesn't feel aligned - even if it means a drop in engagement.

Social media platforms change the algorithms all the time, engagement can drop by half just because you decide you don't want to be on the app every single day and join the daily reel club and encourage the shortening of attention spans with 3 second reels on a daily basis.

How social media is evolving is concerning for mental health and wellbeing of humanity if we don’t bring conscious awareness to how we use social media mindfully.

I now have questions that I ask myself as filters to discern if whatever I post is useful, uplifting, promoting reconnection to ourselves, our body, others, nature, and the divinity in life (the 5 points of Creating Change) whilst also honouring my creative expression.

Doesn't mean I'll never post reels again, though I won't follow trends blindly without questioning and listening within first.



3) Not to have main focus on aggressive pain point marketing.

How things are worded is important and the old marketing trick of pointing out all the problems and selling the solution is one that sells though can also be a slippery slope.

I’m continuously asking myself how can I inspire, uplift and support through my words. To communicate what I offer support in (so people know what I do) whilst reminding people that they are perfectly whole, beautiful and capable already.

This has been one of the most challenging aspects of this work and industry. I've learnt some lessons along the way and often steer towards not focusing on selling at all which is not sustainable for me if my work is to continue... some marketing and sales is necessary.



4) Prices are now visible on my website.

I hid some prices for certain services for years, and clients needed to get in contact for more information so I could talk to them first before I gave the information. I now see this wasn't being fully transparent. I take responsibility and have changed that and all prices are now visible.



5) I'm not the cheapest yet I don't charge thousands.

Pricing of private sessions in the online self-awareness (and especially coaching) world has become out of hand in some respects. Do I only want to serve the rich in the western world? No.

I believe in making things as affordable as possible whilst also making it sustainable for me to keep this work going. What many don't realise when they see a per session or per hour price tag is the sheer volume of work that goes on behind the scenes aside from sessions to keep the business running is HUGE. 1:1 sessions make up a very small part of this work. 

Making things affordable and also sustainable is important so I can continue providing support well into the future and also fund the free content that I offer (that's not free for me to produce) such as the podcast. Podcasts, even though they are free to listen to, they cost money to produce.

Therefore I have payment plans, products with smaller price points and plenty of free content for those who can't afford 1:1 sessions or courses right now.



7) Continue offering a money back guarantee so client’s needs are covered and they always have a choice. I've always had this for sessions and this will continue also for trainings.



8) Make it clearer when sharing testimonials.

That testimonials are from personal experiences from clients and students only and cannot guarantee the same outcome for others. It’s important as consumers to remember this whilst looking at testimonials and reviews online, it's one person's experience.



9) Listen to what feels good to my Soul above all.

To follow that inner knowing and to always honour that as I move forward with my work rather than following what others in the industry do.



10) Check in more often with clients and students.

Trainings will have check in / feedback forms at the middle of the training as well as the end so any issues or unmet needs can be dealt with during the training. Also, regular check ins with clients to make sure they are getting what they signed up for.



11) Be mindful of privilege.

I cannot understand fully what it means to live life in certain minority groups as I come from a very privileged background. Though I can bring sensitivity and awareness to it as much as I can.

We can influence our reality, we can transform how we choose to experience things in life, yet that doesn't mean that we will all live on super yachts with millions. We can manifest things, our mindset and beliefs can impact our life experience significantly AND cultural challenges, minority challenges are real too.

I’ve always had the perspective that anything is possible... yet sometimes the Soul or challenges faced in different cultures and minority groups can bring a different path compared to what the Ego desires. Doesn’t mean we can’t make the most of a situation or bring about change, though I'm bringing it to my attention to be more sensitive to this.



12) Remind people they are whole and complete already.

In this industry (especially with NLP) there is often the perspective about needing to clear away limiting beliefs seeing them as 'bad' and that we need 'fixing'. Thing is, it's more about reconnecting rather than fixing anything. Coming back to the authentic self, back to the Soul rather than creating a new version according to the Egoic mind. 

Yes, letting go of a limiting belief can be useful, though it's more about recognising what already lies within. This has always been my focus with Wholehearted NLP trainings. I taught students to gain the message from emotions first before running to techniques to shift it, to find the gifts in present day life too, rather than solely focus on future goals. 

When used with integrity NLP is always about returning to wholeness, recognising the wholeness that is already present. If NLP practitioners truly use the NLP presuppositions given on trainings as a guide this will be present. This perspective will continue and grow and evolve with Creating Change and my other work.



All of these points, and more... I'm still navigating.



I share this not to paint a perfect picture (I’m far from perfect). Though to share what’s been a continuous journey and how it’s been evolving. What I’ve struggled with and how I’m navigating it.

 

An important topic for both professionals AND consumers.

Professionals to be responsible, ethical and transparent as possible AND for consumers to also take responsibility and discern and not place teachers on pedal stools. To listen to their truth ultimately and make decisions based on that.

Every person is human - if you haven't seen yet the documentary called Kumaré, I highly recommend it. My students and meetup members loved it when we discussed it many years ago - it brings up some very important points!

In society often there's a lot of finger pointing. Blaming and seeing someone, a business, a government, or an organisation as the 'bad guy'. Yes there are a lot of questionable things going on in the world - not just in the self-awareness industry. 

That doesn't give permission to hand over power and continue playing the victim. 

You, me, and everyone else are ultimately responsible for our personal choices, actions, purchases and words. 

I'm still learning (plenty to improve!) and I invite you to reflect on these words too... whether you're a professional or consumer. 

Discern, take responsibility and remember the heart.

Anything you think I´ve forgotten?

I’d love to hear your thoughts (whether you’re a consumer or professional) every voice matters. Leave a comment below.

Thank you for reading and for being you!

With love, Emma.

Found this useful? Share, spread the love. Every share makes such a difference!

Want more? Join the monthly email here and listen to the podcast here.

Reconnecting With LIFE

For the last few years, each summer I do the same thing.

Social media break for the ENTIRE month. 

To be honest, every time I reconnect after the break, I feel reluctant to start again because it feels so good to switch off!

Not that useful for online business owners, though the good thing is, each time I return my boundaries are firmer, my priorities in life are clearer and moving forward I use social media more and more for work only.

With much of the world online nowadays it can be challenging for businesses, social life and more if we're not connected online. 

 

Especially this year. 

 

Social media has been an easy way to remain connected with loved ones during times of physical distance. It's great for keeping in contact, learning new things and spreading the word.

 

Social media is also designed to attract our attention and fulfil many needs. In fact, it touches upon all 6 of the 6 Basic Human Needs which is why it can be so addictive…

 

• Love and Connection – Connecting and sharing with loved ones 
• Significance – Receiving likes, comments and emojis 
• (Perceived) Certainty – Logging in each time knowing where certain things are, the same icons appear, familiar colours and logos
• Uncertainty (Variety) – Scrolling with new news updates, new emojis and backgrounds to use
• Growth – Learning new things about people and the world
• Contribution – Offering support to others, helping non-profits, providing a service

 

Notice how many social media apps fulfil each of these needs… albeit sometimes in a rather superficial, distant way compared to in person heartfelt connection.

Despite the companies best efforts to capture our attention we can create a healthy balance being mindful of how we use it and how they entice us.

 

It’s possible.

 

Ever wondered why they choose the colour RED for notifications and not another colour? Red is often considered the colour of urgency, enhancing that desire to click quick to find out who has commented or liked or messaged.

Though by being aware of the ‘shadow’ of social media we can place healthy boundaries and decide what usage works for our health and well-being.

Personally, total breaks work really well for me, especially during holiday season. This year reflecting on what I’ve learnt I thought to share some of these insights in case anyone else feels inspired to take a break or wants some tips on how to do it.

 

Benefits…

• I felt more present, observing the beauty around me.
• I had more time for other things… way more time.
• I opened up space to learn from within and from nature.
• I was creating conscious connection... mindfully choosing who and what to enter my energetic field.
• Any residual anxiety from this year’s events reduced significantly.
• Greater stillness, calmness and relief.
• Deeper connection to self, few trusted loved ones, nature and LIFE itself.
• Expanded awareness of past actions and choices.
• Moments of boredom, which were the birthplace for creativity to arise.
• Flexibility, finding other ways to connect with loved ones, find news and spend my time.
• Patience.
• Non attachment.
• My health improved significantly being away from phones and screens.
• Increased satisfaction with the little (BIG) things in life, the gifts that surround us in every moment.
• I felt lighter.
• My attention span increased for other activities or when I simply wanted to BE.

 

And much more…

 

It was interesting, initially I noticed the unconscious habit with my hands automatically searching for app without thinking. A clear sign how ingrained the habit of checking social media had become. This was made easier to break by deleting the relevant apps and reorganising the main screen on my phone.

 

Pattern interrupt.

 

This is what we talk about in NLP – finding ways to interrupt the strategies we have for unwanted habits. Always pressing on the snooze button each morning? I wonder what happens when the alarm is placed in a different location so the unconscious mind doesn’t have it so easy to repeat the same habit?

I also noticed that I can survive perfectly fine, have a social life and continue to learn and grow without my mobile and certain apps on a regular basis. Going mobile free for periods of time is highly beneficial.

 

Mobiles and apps are useful… and there is still REAL LIFE around us too.

 

Life is beyond the screens.

Want to take a break though not sure how to start to make it last?

• Decide which apps you want a break from. Are you prone to scrolling? Or constantly checking messages? A social media break doesn’t mean everything at once – find what works for you.
• Decide on a time frame. You may want a big break like I did or simply for a few days. If you use social media for work pick the best times for you to take a break without affecting your work significantly.
• Social accountability can work wonders for goal setting and support. Each break I take I announce it online for a few reasons…

1. My clients, meetup members and students follow me online so I want them to be aware that during a certain time frame I’ll be responding to emails only.
2. I want to encourage others to take the break if they feel the need.
3. By announcing it online I have created social accountability, therefore if ever I desire to quickly check messages (which rarely happens as it feels so good to switch off) I remind myself that people expect me to be offline during that time so that acts as motivation to stay offline.

• Delete the relevant apps off your phone, reorganise the main screen to interrupt any old habits.
• Find ways to remain connected with loved ones. Social media break doesn’t need to mean being disconnected completely. Arrange that skype call, call a friend, post a letter and keep connected with loved ones you trust and value.
• Start a new hobby, book, puzzle or practice.
• Be mindful of the 6 Basic Human Needs. If social media fulfils many of the 6 basic human needs, being aware of this can be useful in mindfully fulfilling these needs elsewhere in a constructive, healthy way.

 

Have you had a social media break?

What did you learn? I'd love to know.

I’ll be announcing some classes and training's very soon to transform our relationship with emotions and negative self-talk, make sure you’re signed up to my newsletter to receive the updates if you’re taking a social media break!

Could This Be The Answer?

Those following my work will have noticed I've been travelling a fair bit recently. Family gatherings, funeral, workshops... I think I'll be buying a fair few trees to be planted this autumn to make up for the many flights!

One thing I've noticed whenever I return to Barcelona, step back into the flat and start unpacking is how living with just a few things can make life so much simpler. I feel lighter, freer.

I also went to Menorca for August with just 1 item of hand luggage, most of which was taken up with my laptop. And looking at my wardrobe afterwards I realised how much stuff I do not use with a strong urge to give the majority away. This urge also seems to arise whenever I take self-awareness courses and Training's, it's as if when I move something within me, I need to move the stuff around me too.

And you know what?

It feels so good!

Whilst we may not want to live out of a suitcase for the rest of our lives, significantly reducing and spring cleaning our living space can have numerous benefits... 

1) Charities and those in need benefit from donated clothes and books etc.

2) Cleaning and clearing physical items around us helps shift the energy around us also... which in turn affects the energy within us too.

3) Getting rid of the old in our lives creates space for the new to come in. I remember a teacher once saying that before she manifested her life partner she literally cleared space in her house for this partner (that she had yet to meet) so could move in one day. As if she was saying to the Universe "I'm ready! I'm creating space in my life (and home) for a loved one to share it with me".

4) Life is simpler. 

Click To Tweet: "Simplify life, create space and welcome the new" Emma Bradford

Number 4 alone is golden. I mean how full can life get sometimes? Bills, work, emails, chargers, passwords, food shops, cooking, cleaning, washing, commitments etc. Cutting back, sticking to essentials only can create so much SPACE.

Space to notice the freedom, presence and valuable small (Big) things in life.

Feeling overwhelmed? Stressed? Cluttered? Or simply looking to create change and bring new energy into your life?

Strip back. 

Wardrobes, cupboards, drawers, asking yourself... 

1) Is this necessary and important? If yes, keep it. If no move on to next step...

2) Is this meaningful, beautiful and something that puts a smile on my face? If yes, keep it if you wish. If no, time to release it.


Life can be so simple and beautifully rewarding. 

Let's make it even more so and notice what shifts occur by doing so. 

What helps you feel lighter, freer and more relaxed in life? Let me know in the comment section below.

Have a friend seeking support? Offer a helping hand and share this post.

Want more? Full details on trainings, workshops, coaching, audios and more on my website.

How To Navigate Challenging Times... The Difference That Makes The Difference

A friend asked once... "how do we navigate difficult times?" 

How do we get through it? 

What helps, what doesn't? 

Whilst in the past I would of replied 'I'm fine', keeping things fairly surface level if something challenging arose, brushing everything under the carpet. Nowadays I find myself sharing more, opening more.

'CONNECT' is my answer.

Whether that's connecting with ourselves, with others, with nature, with universal energy... it all can provide immense support and healing. 

This is constructive comfort, as I call it. Rather than searching for the full tub of ice cream solely to numb how we feel on a regular basis. 

In practice... 

This summer a family member passed on, transitioned into the next realm, no longer in the physical yet the energy lives on... even if some say that's simply within our memories and hearts. 

Whilst this family member was old and lived a long life, I felt the empty gap and sadness as I started to adjust to new family life, and the need to connect as I navigated this precious time. 

I sent a message to a few local friends, explaining that during the next few months I'd like to connect more, especially during the times I would have usually seen that family member in the past. Not out of distraction or to avoid the sadness I felt, though as a form of support as I get used to new family life and experience the emotions that arise. 

"This is how we find the light in darker times" I said to them as I shared how I felt.

CONNECTION. 

It's using the difficult times as a reminder to connect at all the levels we feel necessary. 

Click To Tweet: "Want connection? Create Connection" Emma Bradford

If we're navigating a challenging time...

Sometimes we may want alone time. If this is the case we can find the light during these moments by creating space to connect with ourselves and nature. A moment to observe, reflect, and simply be. 

Just like the beauty that can be experienced when we observe the night sky. It's dark yet can still be incredibly beautiful when witnessed. 

And sometimes we may want additional support too. If this is the case we can find the light during challenging moments by reaching out, connecting with loved ones. 

By creating connection, at whatever level we choose, can help us navigate through these moments helping us to find the gifts in them. CONNECTION is the LIGHT that darker times offers us. It's an invitation. Helping us realise that the darkness at its core is actually made of light too. 

It just needs us to flick the switch on.

To create connection, in whatever way feels right for us... to be that navigating light during difficult times.

It's our choice. 

What helps you navigate challenging times? Let me know in the comment section below. 

Have a friend going through a difficult time? Offer a helping hand and share this post. 

Want more? Full details on trainings, workshops, coaching, audios and more on my website.

You Already Have What You Want

Chatting with a loved one not long ago, it suddenly clicked. I realised how blind I had been regarding a particular area in my life. 

Overlooked. 

And I wondered how many others do this too?

How often do we want something in our life, set goals, go out to achieve certain things... focusing on what we don't have right now and 'oh how great my life will be WHEN I have__X__'. That statement is limiting us from enjoying life before achieving __X__.

If we expand our perspective we may actually realise we have much of what we want already. Perhaps not in the way we expected it to show up, still, often it's there. 

We already have the love, money, health, success  (whatever it is that we're looking for) in other ways already. 

Just because something isn't showing up in the way that we want it or the way we expected it to show up... doesn't mean it's not there. It doesn't give us permission to dismiss all of the gifts within our human experience already. 

If we want LOVE in our life, and feel jealous, irritated, sad, lonely when we see people loved up in the streets are we really lacking love in our life? Just because we may not have it in the way that we want it, doesn't give us permission to completely ignore the love we receive in life already. 

It's there. 

How often do we ignore, push away or reject the love that comes to us? For example, when somebody gives us a compliment... do we fully receive it? Or do we push it away and reject it reaffirming the opposite? 

"That's a nice colour on you" 

"Oh this old thing? You haven't seen the stain on the back"

Pushing away love right there. 

If we want MONEY and financial abundance in our life, feeling restricted, resentful, angry at the 'lack' that we see... are we really lacking abundance in our life? Just because we don't have it in the way that we want it, doesn't give us permission to take for granted the abundance that is within our life already. 

It's there. 

How often do we take for granted the money that comes into our life already? For example, when we make payments or buy something... do we fully appreciate the fact that we can make that payment and the benefits we'll receive by doing so? 

'Uggh I have to pay for __X__' rather than 'I'm so grateful for this (service/product/experience) and all I'm going to receive by paying for___X___'

Even utility bills... what a wealth of abundance it is to have running water, light, WiFi connection etc and everything that having that can allow us to do and experience.

If we want HEALTH in our life, and continue to focus on the aches, pains, irritations are we really lacking health? Just because we may not have it in the way that we want it, doesn't give us permission to completely ignore the health we currently have. This has been probably my biggest lesson. 

It's there. 

How often do we take for granted the health we currently have? For example, do we fully appreciate what our body can still do regardless of any symptoms we may have? 

'My__X__ is playing up again, so annoying' vs 'I'm grateful I can breathe/talk/see/hear etc'

You get the picture. 

We already have much of what we want already, just perhaps not in the way we want it or think it should come to us. 

This doesn't mean to say we can never have goals and desires, it simply means that by bringing a little more GRATITUDE to the current situation we can gain more fulfilment, satisfaction and we may even realise the goal is not that important anyway. It also doesn't mean to say we ignore certain aspects and symptoms that need to be addressed, I'm not talking about spiritual bypassing here. I'm talking about appreciating what is present already and not allowing our desires and goals take away our satisfaction of what we already have. 

And this needn't mean to say we beat ourselves up for 'not being grateful' enough, we're all on this journey together, I've certainly had my fair share of reminders and it's a conscious choice to appreciate more on a regular basis. There may be easy moments and challenging moments in life. The challenging times are often a reminder of how strong and resilient we are. 

Taking it a step further, many of the goals and desires we have are simply so we can FEEL a certain way. Happy, satisfied, free, loved etc. Good news is, we can create how we feel already, right now. Having __X__ isn't the only way. We don't need to wait and limit ourselves by attaching ourselves to the sole actualization of the said goal and missing the gifts that surround us already. More info on emotions here. 

We already have so much of what we want. 

It's there - we just need to open our eyes and appreciate the gifts already within our experience. Perhaps it's presented in a different colour to what we expected. And just because it's different doesn't mean it's not there.

I wonder, what new gifts will you discover today? Let me know in the comment section below what you notice.

Have a friend who could benefit from this? Offer a helping hand and share this post. 

More information on events, audio teachings, online community and trainings on www.emmabradford.net

The Forgotten Side Of Spirituality In Life... And How to Experience Deeper Fulfillment

Two elements.

How do we find a balance between the following... and do we really need this balance?

When our focus is split between physical life and spiritual life (and I'm not specifically talking about organised religion here, I'm talking about our deeper, personal beliefs about LIFE whatever that may be for us) sometimes we're missing the beauty and magic from the two combined together.

Whatever our beliefs are, it seems human beings regardless of gender, age, race have often found reassurance in some sort of belief about our life experience. Whether we don't believe in a higher force or we do, whatever spectrum we may associate ourselves with and anywhere in between... our beliefs have often given us a sense of security and comfort.

Many connect with the understanding that within everything is energy, vibrating particles. This has been proved time and time again by scientists. We  have electromagnetic fields. Everything from the food we consume, objects that surround us all have vibrating particles in variations. Solids vibrate slower, so we can actually touch them. Liquids, vibrate more quickly making the liquid form that we see. And gases vibrate even quicker, so quick that we often cannot see them.

Regardless of speed and form... the energy remains.

This energy, some call consciousness. There is this universal loving energy that gives life. 

Something I've noticed in the self awareness industry is that sometimes we can move so far away from the physical realm focusing too much on the Spiritual side of things that we forget why we're here. At least why I feel we're here... some could argue this is simply my perception!

Let's look at what we call ourselves... 'Human beings'. 

Human + Being. 

We are not just a physical body, we are the energy, spirit and breath that fills it and animates it. When someone dies, their physical body still remains a short while, it's the breath, the life force that has moved on. Also we are not just an energetic being floating around, we have a physical body grounding us into this human experience. 

Whatever the reasons are why we're here, and who we really are... I guess we'll find out in detail one day. At the moment, what many of us have are different elements of this whole truth.

"Truth is a sphere" as my NLP Trainer, would often say.

Perhaps we're not here to solely focus on the physical side of life, there's something more. And... perhaps we're not here to ignore the physical experiences of life too.

It's the two together. Hand in hand. Human + Being.

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To remember our spiritual (energetic) nature whilst making the most of this human physical experience we call life - to really experience sensations, physical experiences and pleasures, especially with our physical body. Often there can be the misconception that to be focused on material aspects in life is 'shallow' or not 'spiritual'. Doesn't sound like a very spiritually, loving belief to me.

We're here in a physical body with material aspects around us for a reason. For the experience of it and to really enjoy it in all it's colours and shades on offer.

At the same time, being solely focused on the physical side, ignoring or dismissing any belief in something else (whether that's simply energy from a scientific point of view or a Soul, Spirit, consciousness, higher force etc) often can leave us searching for more whether we're conscious of it or not.

Unsatisfied with life. Unfulfilled. Something missing.

When we combine the two, in whatever way that resonates for us we can experience even more fulfilment in life.

Acknowledging our physical body and physical experience whilst remembering what lies deeper within ourselves and others - an energy, a Soul.

To ignore the pleasures our physical experience can bring some would say is to ignore a fundamental part of spirituality. Meditating all day long does not make us more spiritual than others. Tapping into the simple sensations and pleasures our senses and body allow us to experience can be a magical and spiritual part of life.

And to ignore the wisdom and understanding deeper within ourselves, others and life is to ignore a vital part that many of us search for too.

It's seeing the bigger picture, whilst enjoying the details too.

Both, hand in hand.

Try this...

What are you grateful for in your physical experience right now? What sensations do you notice? Feel into it.

Experiencing this, what does this teach you about life? What deeper messages lie within? And if you're not sure, if you were to know... what do you think you'd discover? 

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The Experience That Changed Everything... Where Wholehearted NLP Really Comes From

Things don't always make sense.

Many times amidst the confusion, lies an invitation for us to find the clarity deep within the experience... if we dare to step into the truth of it. Outer facades dropping to reveal what really lies within. 

Intuition sometimes works in this way, pulling us towards or away from something without the initial clarity as to WHY we feel that way.

Few years ago I felt a strong pull towards Menorca - especially to a particular part of the island. When I arrived, I met a local and we connected straight away. This time it was different, I felt a strong need to talk to this person, almost as if it was a knowing, a 100% certainty even though I was initially unsure why.

We kept in regular contact after that first meeting, the intuitive pull remained strong. I thought I had met a life partner, whereas the true intuitive message would soon appear as something completely different. 

This person, at an unconscious level, was about to teach me one of my greatest lessons in life. One that would completely transform my work, my outlook on life and so much more. I had no idea at the time of meeting - neither did they. I just knew, for some reason we were being placed together.

Ever since I can remember I’ve been an optimistic person naturally able to re-frame events. Supporting friend's in need, I literally felt their pain and desperately wanted them to feel better. Naturally this developed into my profession too.

I find it easy to focus on the light, all things positive. It allows me to see and remind clients of their true potential when they’ve lost all hope. 

I’d learnt like many to ignore my emotions growing up - a way of survival from a young age. Long term, that behaviour was actually doing me more harm than good. Looking back now I can see how out of balance I was.

By only acknowledging the lighter side of things... we can never fully experience wholehearted self-acceptance.

Back home on the beach I watched the waves eating their way across the shore, observing the wet stones glistening in the sand. One caught my attention; it was a beautiful oval, grey, sparkly stone, which reminded me of this person. I bent down to pick it up when a huge wave came. As the wave retreated the stone was gone. Disappointed, I looked around though it was nowhere to be found. Still thinking of that person, another stone caught my eye in the same spot. Little did I know then what this beautiful heart shaped stone would truly represent.

Listening to my gut instinct, I took another trip to Menorca a few months later. There was a moment on this trip where everything clicked into place, certain conversations and the realisation that this person was not for me in the sense I initially thought. The expectation bubble was brutally burst. Painful at first until I realised they were coming into my life as one of my greatest teachers, in the moment I needed it most. 

A perfect mirror to face my shadow parts (parts we hide, dislike, avoid, suppress) and see them with love.

There, I saw a parent holding their sobbing child... eyes closed, with a loving calm breath, embracing the hurt with 100% presence. Later to ask the child, ‘what did you learn here for next time?’ 

I realised deep within THIS is how we need to embrace painful emotions within ourselves. Not run from them as I had spent a lifetime doing.

Looking at my stone, its meaning became so clear and what this whole experience was about.

It represents the light and dark within everyone. The importance of embracing our whole selves,  especially the shadow parts.

We can ask ourselves...

“I notice ___(observe feelings)___, it's ok, everyone has felt that at some point in their life, wonder what I can learn here?"

It’s human nature to move away from suffering and often we seek comfort from alcohol, food, unhelpful habits etc. Remember these only give us short lived pleasure, when in reality long lasting happiness is desired. And embracing all parts of ourselves, both light and shadow with love is creating even deeper wholehearted, self-acceptance.

My intuition had led me into the greatest love story - and not the one I initially expected. The longer I held onto expectations the more painful it became. It was when I let go and realised the true message of the experience, things transformed into an even greater love story... with my whole self. 

Thanks to that experience, I now teach Wholehearted NLP, using NLP to find the gifts within the shadow.

Thanks to that experience I'm discovering the gifts ALL emotions can offer. 

Thanks to that experience I'm continuing to learn and acknowledge both the light and shadow, within myself, within others and society.

Thanks to that experience my outlook on my work, life and self has completely transformed, for the better.

Is it all rainbows and unicorns now? 

Absolutely not. It's a daily practice of choosing integration and sometimes it's easier than others. I was clueless of what that intuitive pull was really signifying at the beginning, and this time I found out because I decided to follow the trail of clues. Clues being that pull, towards something, a curiosity to learn more, know more, experience more.

Intuition means 'inspired tuition'. Note the word TUITION. It's only tuition if we don't act on it. When we act on it, that's when can transform into an insightful and useful experience.

It's also important to note that an intuitive gut feeling can differ from person to person how we experience it. I can only speak from personal experience and my experience may differ to another persons experience. 

Pay attention, notice... look back over past events when you 'knew' something was off, not quite right or you needed to do something. 

What were the signs? 
How did you know? 
What's the common thread when you look back over several different events? 
Any similarities in how you 'knew'?

Awareness of this can pin-point how our intuition communicates with us. 

We're all different. 

My intuition can be both an overwhelming happy YES feeling to a subtle, constant pull or push. I know it's my intuition when if I haven't acted upon it, it appears again, and again, and again... that prodding as if to say 'go on'. On the other hand, if I get a sudden overwhelming desire or fear popping up that ceases to reappear again - even if I haven't acted on it - then I know often it wasn't really my intuition. 

Putting it into practice...

What are you being drawn to at the moment? (And no, I don't mean a quick desire for comfort food or alcohol. I'm talking about a sensation within, a gut feeling, a pull towards or away from something).

What does this feeling wish to communicate? 

I wonder, what gifts you'll encounter when you act on that loving message?

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