What works, what doesn't, what feels authentic, what doesn't.
Blame, gaslighting, abuse when in the wrong hands... and also support, information, insight, comfort, healing, community and more when used with integrity.
If you’ve studied with me or listened to Episode 1 (Podcast) you would have heard about these struggles which led me to almost quit my work 6 years ago... and also led me to create Wholehearted NLP (heart centred NLP trainings) for many years.
Whilst my work has shifted slightly (hello art, dance and creativity!) my continuous reflection on how to navigate this work ethically, responsibly and sustainably has always remained.
- How can I let people know about the support I offer in a way that is uplifting and inspiring rather than playing on pain points and struggles they may have?
- How can I use online marketing and social media in a way that supports and uplifts and also honours my boundaries and wellbeing rather than following trends and pushy sales?
I've done some things well, many things not so well and I've learnt a HUGE amount along the way.
10 years ago, I could post a title for an event on meetup and have 40 people attending with zero marketing.
Nowadays with the sheer amount of events, coaches, options, freebies, courses in the world means so many are overwhelmed, attention spans have reduced (thanks instagram reels, shorts and TikTok!), commitment levels and responses have shifted and many struggle to even keep up with basic daily communications and tasks.
This has meant many businesses over the years have looked for new ways to get noticed among the sea of options in order to continue their work - which led to many using aggressive pain point marketing tactics.
Point out the problem, and provide the solution.
I'm sharing all of this as I want to be as transparent as possible. Where I've been, what I'm focused on and how I'm navigating things as best I can so to continue offering support ethically and sustainably.
Whilst overall I feel I've kept the heart as a core focus of my work, there are things I have been reflecting on that I can improve. Not because anyone has said anything recently - they haven't - though because it's my priority to continue checking in, learning and improve how I work.
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MY AIM IS TO
1) Be authentic, whilst also honouring my boundaries as I share online.
To share truths, vulnerabilities yet not need to use that as a way to grab attention and make money from it. Some professionals share every single aspect of daily life and I'm not one of them. I don't want to encourage people to continuously check for updates taking their attention away from real life.
- Why do I need to take Instagram photos of my breakfast to publicise my work?
- Why do I need to spill every personal detail online in order to get my posts seen by more?
When I'm not online I want to be in the moment LIVING and I encourage others to do the same. I'm aware this choice can affect my business. I’m aware of the value the online world can offer, connection it can bring, and that people want to connect to the real person (not the polished version) something I can improve on further. I’m also mindful of my boundaries for wellbeing too. I’ve tried many times having social media apps continuously on my phone and it doesn't work for me personally.
At the time of writing this I have Instagram and Facebook content posted by my social media assistant. It's still my content and words though she posts it on my behalf and time to time I pop in to respond to messages and comments and post the odd story on Instagram.
This format could change in the future, at the moment it's what works for me so I can focus my time and energy on sessions, trainings, podcast and creative projects. I love connecting to students online and in person (love receiving your messages and emails!) though posting instagram stories every single day doesn't feel authentic right now.
2) Celebrate myself as a woman, whilst honouring what feels good to post in regards to photos of my body.
Pictures of me get more engagement than any other post that I post. This frustrates me as I wish it was more about my words, my work than my body or face grabbing attention.
Many like a picture and ignore the description and scroll past. I'm mindful about what feels good, respectful towards myself. I don't want to sexualise myself in order to sell my work, yet I also see the power in women celebrating their bodies too - especially to help rewrite patriarchal views.
2) Celebrate myself as a woman, whilst honouring what feels good to post in regards to photos of my body.
Pictures of me get more engagement than any other post that I post. This frustrates me as I wish it was more about my words, my work than my body or face grabbing attention.
Many like a picture and ignore the description and scroll past. I'm mindful about what feels good, respectful towards myself. I don't want to sexualise myself in order to sell my work, yet I also see the power in women celebrating their bodies too - especially to help rewrite patriarchal views.
I’ve received many undesirable comments online from some men (not all - there are many respectful, conscious men out there too) over the years simply because I’m a woman posting publicly. Self-expression, allowing myself to be seen and also having strong boundaries is important.
3) Discern what aspects of social media communication feels good and not follow trends if it doesn't feel aligned - even if it means a drop in engagement.
Social media platforms change the algorithms all the time, engagement can drop by half just because you decide you don't want to be on the app every single day and join the daily reel club and encourage the shortening of attention spans with 3 second reels on a daily basis.
How social media is evolving is concerning for mental health and wellbeing of humanity if we don’t bring conscious awareness to how we use social media mindfully.
I now have questions that I ask myself as filters to discern if whatever I post is useful, uplifting, promoting reconnection to ourselves, our body, others, nature, and the divinity in life (the 5 points of Creating Change) whilst also honouring my creative expression.
Doesn't mean I'll never post reels again, though I won't follow trends blindly without questioning and listening within first.
3) Not to have main focus on aggressive pain point marketing.
How things are worded is important and the old marketing trick of pointing out all the problems and selling the solution is one that sells though can also be a slippery slope.
I’m continuously asking myself how can I inspire, uplift and support through my words. To communicate what I offer support in (so people know what I do) whilst reminding people that they are perfectly whole, beautiful and capable already.
This has been one of the most challenging aspects of this work and industry. I've learnt some lessons along the way and often steer towards not focusing on selling at all which is not sustainable for me if my work is to continue... some marketing and sales is necessary.
4) Prices are now visible on my website.
I hid some prices for certain services for years, and clients needed to get in contact for more information so I could talk to them first before I gave the information. I now see this wasn't being fully transparent. I take responsibility and have changed that and all prices are now visible.
5) I'm not the cheapest yet I don't charge thousands.
Pricing of private sessions in the online self-awareness (and especially coaching) world has become out of hand in some respects. Do I only want to serve the rich in the western world? No.
I believe in making things as affordable as possible whilst also making it sustainable for me to keep this work going. What many don't realise when they see a per session or per hour price tag is the sheer volume of work that goes on behind the scenes aside from sessions to keep the business running is HUGE. 1:1 sessions make up a very small part of this work.
Making things affordable and also sustainable is important so I can continue providing support well into the future and also fund the free content that I offer (that's not free for me to produce) such as the podcast. Podcasts, even though they are free to listen to, they cost money to produce.
Therefore I have payment plans, products with smaller price points and plenty of free content for those who can't afford 1:1 sessions or courses right now.
7) Continue offering a money back guarantee so client’s needs are covered and they always have a choice. I've always had this for sessions and this will continue also for trainings.
8) Make it clearer when sharing testimonials.
That testimonials are from personal experiences from clients and students only and cannot guarantee the same outcome for others. It’s important as consumers to remember this whilst looking at testimonials and reviews online, it's one person's experience.
9) Listen to what feels good to my Soul above all.
To follow that inner knowing and to always honour that as I move forward with my work rather than following what others in the industry do.
10) Check in more often with clients and students.
Trainings will have check in / feedback forms at the middle of the training as well as the end so any issues or unmet needs can be dealt with during the training. Also, regular check ins with clients to make sure they are getting what they signed up for.
11) Be mindful of privilege.
I cannot understand fully what it means to live life in certain minority groups as I come from a very privileged background. Though I can bring sensitivity and awareness to it as much as I can.
We can influence our reality, we can transform how we choose to experience things in life, yet that doesn't mean that we will all live on super yachts with millions. We can manifest things, our mindset and beliefs can impact our life experience significantly AND cultural challenges, minority challenges are real too.
I’ve always had the perspective that anything is possible... yet sometimes the Soul or challenges faced in different cultures and minority groups can bring a different path compared to what the Ego desires. Doesn’t mean we can’t make the most of a situation or bring about change, though I'm bringing it to my attention to be more sensitive to this.
12) Remind people they are whole and complete already.
In this industry (especially with NLP) there is often the perspective about needing to clear away limiting beliefs seeing them as 'bad' and that we need 'fixing'. Thing is, it's more about reconnecting rather than fixing anything. Coming back to the authentic self, back to the Soul rather than creating a new version according to the Egoic mind.
Therefore I have payment plans, products with smaller price points and plenty of free content for those who can't afford 1:1 sessions or courses right now.
7) Continue offering a money back guarantee so client’s needs are covered and they always have a choice. I've always had this for sessions and this will continue also for trainings.
8) Make it clearer when sharing testimonials.
That testimonials are from personal experiences from clients and students only and cannot guarantee the same outcome for others. It’s important as consumers to remember this whilst looking at testimonials and reviews online, it's one person's experience.
9) Listen to what feels good to my Soul above all.
To follow that inner knowing and to always honour that as I move forward with my work rather than following what others in the industry do.
10) Check in more often with clients and students.
Trainings will have check in / feedback forms at the middle of the training as well as the end so any issues or unmet needs can be dealt with during the training. Also, regular check ins with clients to make sure they are getting what they signed up for.
11) Be mindful of privilege.
I cannot understand fully what it means to live life in certain minority groups as I come from a very privileged background. Though I can bring sensitivity and awareness to it as much as I can.
We can influence our reality, we can transform how we choose to experience things in life, yet that doesn't mean that we will all live on super yachts with millions. We can manifest things, our mindset and beliefs can impact our life experience significantly AND cultural challenges, minority challenges are real too.
I’ve always had the perspective that anything is possible... yet sometimes the Soul or challenges faced in different cultures and minority groups can bring a different path compared to what the Ego desires. Doesn’t mean we can’t make the most of a situation or bring about change, though I'm bringing it to my attention to be more sensitive to this.
12) Remind people they are whole and complete already.
In this industry (especially with NLP) there is often the perspective about needing to clear away limiting beliefs seeing them as 'bad' and that we need 'fixing'. Thing is, it's more about reconnecting rather than fixing anything. Coming back to the authentic self, back to the Soul rather than creating a new version according to the Egoic mind.
Yes, letting go of a limiting belief can be useful, though it's more about recognising what already lies within. This has always been my focus with Wholehearted NLP trainings. I taught students to gain the message from emotions first before running to techniques to shift it, to find the gifts in present day life too, rather than solely focus on future goals.
When used with integrity NLP is always about returning to wholeness, recognising the wholeness that is already present. If NLP practitioners truly use the NLP presuppositions given on trainings as a guide this will be present. This perspective will continue and grow and evolve with Creating Change and my other work.
All of these points, and more... I'm still navigating.
I share this not to paint a perfect picture (I’m far from perfect). Though to share what’s been a continuous journey and how it’s been evolving. What I’ve struggled with and how I’m navigating it.
All of these points, and more... I'm still navigating.
I share this not to paint a perfect picture (I’m far from perfect). Though to share what’s been a continuous journey and how it’s been evolving. What I’ve struggled with and how I’m navigating it.
An important topic for both professionals AND consumers.
Professionals to be responsible, ethical and transparent as possible AND for consumers to also take responsibility and discern and not place teachers on pedal stools. To listen to their truth ultimately and make decisions based on that.
Every person is human - if you haven't seen yet the documentary called Kumaré, I highly recommend it. My students and meetup members loved it when we discussed it many years ago - it brings up some very important points!
In society often there's a lot of finger pointing. Blaming and seeing someone, a business, a government, or an organisation as the 'bad guy'. Yes there are a lot of questionable things going on in the world - not just in the self-awareness industry.
That doesn't give permission to hand over power and continue playing the victim.
You, me, and everyone else are ultimately responsible for our personal choices, actions, purchases and words.
I'm still learning (plenty to improve!) and I invite you to reflect on these words too... whether you're a professional or consumer.
Discern, take responsibility and remember the heart.
Anything you think I´ve forgotten?
I’d love to hear your thoughts (whether you’re a consumer or professional) every voice matters. Leave a comment below.
Thank you for reading and for being you!
With love, Emma.
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