Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Avoidance... And My Mosquito Bite Adventure


More common than we think. It's behind most sabotaging behaviours too. 

Yes there are positive intentions, things, feelings we search for unconsciously... there are also benefits and gains by avoiding what we want to move away from. 

It's all too common nowadays to bury our head in the sand. Technology makes this easier too. Facing an awkward silence in the lift with someone you don't know? 

Out comes the mobile. 

We often use mobile phones as an escapism... a jail free card... a way out. Rather than facing things head on, even if they're uncomfortable at first. Avoiding the present moment. I was reminded of avoidance as I was bitten for the 3rd time in a row one hot summer evening by a mosquito. 

Yes even mosquitoes can bring insights!

Angrily cursing... "what's the point of mosquitoes?" "its bad enough being bitten, why do we need to be left with an irritating bite mark too?"

"Presence" I heard within. 

My intuition was pointing how out of touch with the present moment I was at that time and the mosquito bites did have a silver lining... to reconnect with my body and the present moment. Even if it was an irritating reminder! This is not to say that every mosquito bite is a call to be present, each person and situation is different. It certainly seemed the case for me at the time. 

Looking within a little deeper (my curious mindset is often exlporing) all three bites were on the same side of my body even though both sides were visible to the mosquito. 


Some people say depending whether symptoms are displayed on the right or left hand side of the body it can give an insight to what contributing emotional conflicts are present. 

As far out as it may sound to some, emotions can contribute to physical symptoms that we experience... whatever the symptom. Making that symptom worse or better, as we create and influence our reality. 

For example... the left hand side of the body is generally considered to be connected to our feminine energy, female relationships, mother etc. Whereas the right hand side of the body is largely considered to indicate emotions about the masculine energetic side of ourselves, father figure, male relationships etc. There are many different theories and insights out there... though this theory in particular always stuck as it resonates with me. 

It made sense, I was annoyed about a particular situation and person at the time. And that matched exactly with which side of the body I had the mosquito bites on. I was experiencing an irritating physical reminder of how 'irritated' I was because I avoided the anger in the first place. I was being called present to the irritation I initially tried to avoid. 

This was another reminder, another wake up call to step even closer to authentic wholehearted living.

And let this be a lesson... emotions will always surface and manifest one way or another! If we suppress them now, they'll often bubble up in another form later on. 

Our experiences around us are a direct mirror into what is happening internally. 

We can observe and learn or we can avoid. It's our choice. We don't need to obsessively dissect every single thing we experience to find meaning... life is simply for living and having care-free fun too :-). It can help though at times to understand the meaning behind certain situations by tapping into that curious mindset. 

There are no right or wrong answers either, and many factors can come into play. Though by looking within, reflecting on possible meanings behind experiences can give us many insights and answers. 

Find the answer that resonates for you.

1) "I wonder, what is my current external experience highlighting about my internal world?"

2) "And how can I use this information with compassion to create the best outcome for myself and others?"

I realised after that experience how much I had avoided presence in many areas of my life. Presence with certain emotions, certain situations, and certain feelings sensations. By looking a little deeper into experiences we can gain insights into what beliefs, thoughts and emotions that may contribute. 

This is a common example I see with clients and in workshops too is the desire to avoid conflict at times. To avoid speaking our truth as often there is a hidden belief that it will create conflict if we do. Truth is, it's more about how we communicate rather that what we say. Only 7% of communication is based on actual words!

This calls for compassion. 

If you find that you have been avoiding certain situations and feelings first be kind to yourself. There's a reason behind every behaviour... find it, learn from it and then choose the direction you wish to go in. There are many insights to be had, and support around... we don't benefit from it though if we continue to avoid it. 

May each step on this journey be another deeper, compassionate stepping stone towards an even greater wholehearted life. Let's walk this path as one loving community.

If you'd like support in creating new habits and managing emotions and negative self-talk get in touch for online Wholehearted NLP sessions. Simply email...

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