Wednesday, 23 December 2015

Transforming Fear Into Strength... What Would You Do?

'Basically, it's hot enough to melt steel'

...they said, as I breathed in the cool, crisp evening air and heard the gushing of the river Thames nearby. 

I was just about to do something that terrified me.

I was forcing myself well out of my comfort zone, yet I knew with all my being that this experience was right for me at this time in my life, I had to do it. 

2015, for many has brought huge changes. I could see clients and meetup group members experiencing turmoil... "This autumn has been too much!" I heard as I started focusing meetup events and workshops more and more on soothing the emotions within and how to detach from the inner critical voice. 

It seemed so needed at this time, more than ever.

I too went through major personal shifts earlier this year, with situations forcing me to let go, re-adjust and continue strengthening the loving connection within despite of challenging experiences.

Painful, yes.

And as with most things, what I learnt through the process made it so worthwhile.

So whilst looking up at the stars that cool evening near London, hearing the energy of the crowd and feeling the adrenaline pumping within I knew that my life experience was about to move to another level. I was about to test my beliefs about life and Mind/Body connection to the MAX, allowing all levels of my being to experience a completely new reality. 

I took off my shoes and socks, feeling the cold wet grass beneath my feet. 

Mind 100% on my desired outcome. At this point I couldn't even hear what the crowd was cheering towards me, I had no idea... it felt as if I was in another world, totally focused ahead as I stepped forward and walked bare foot across 4 metres of hot charcoals that lay before me.

Firewalk's* are just one way to help us to use our fear and transform it into strength and power in a situation. Breaking away from the 'I can't do it... I will get burned...' beliefs to 'Wow no burns whatsoever and I didn't feel a thing... if I can do this I can do ANYTHING!'. By actually achieving something that we previously perceived as impossible, we can feel more motivated to continue our journey towards other desired outcomes.

Empowering is an understatement!

If anything it's simply just a way to step out of your comfort zone and realise what you are capable of as solutions, goals and desired outcomes don't tend to reside within our comfort zone... we need to venture out of that comfort circle as this image below demonstrates...

And no, stepping out of our comfort zone doesn't feel necessarily always feel comfortable!

Quite often, it's afterwards when it can feel bloody great, and you often wonder why you feared it so much in the first place.

So that evening near London as my mind was so focused on my desired outcome, it was only until I reached the last step that I suddenly thought to myself 'I don't feel anything' and by that point I was on the grass again ready to celebrate with the rest of the group.

Eager to examine my feet afterwards... I found no burns whatsoever. 


The support I received during that experience, raising my emotional state and choosing to focus 100% on my desired outcome helped to make that move a whole lot easier despite the fears. Quite amazing to feel first hand too how the mind can affect the physical and emotional bodies experience of life in such a powerful way. 

Often people believe that we need to feel ready to do something or that we need to do it when we don't feel fearful anymore... when in reality these types of beliefs actually keep us stuck. Successful, confident people still feel fearful at times... they simply notice the thoughts and emotions and act towards their desired outcome regardless.

"We all feel fear at some point in life, particularly when starting out at something new. Fear is a healthy human emotion, so long as it doesn't cripple other emotions to get in the way of opportunity." Richard Branson

Have you been keeping yourself within your comfort zone recently?

If so, how can you support yourself through that process moving out of your comfort zone and towards your goals and desired outcomes in your life? 

The Firewalk** experience was one of the highlights of 2015 and a wonderful opportunity to remind myself of my capabilities.

A year of transformation and helping to prepare the foundations for 2016.

This time of year I often pick up on subtle energies and I 'feel' the shift energetically for what the theme for the next year will be for me. We often do this consciously too in the form of setting desired outcomes and creating new helpful habits in the form of New Year's Resolutions. 

However you do it, this time of year is a wonderful moment for reflection and transition... letting go of the old, welcoming in the new whatever you want that to be, and realising how far you have come noting the experiences you are grateful for so far. And this doesn't have to involve Firewalk's ;-)

Use this final week to reflect upon your 2015 experiences, and take a moment to consider this...

1) What TRANSFORMED for you in 2015 that you are most grateful for? 

No matter how big or small. Simply by being more aware of a new side of you, or picking up a new skill can be a wonderful change. As you consider how things have evolved, notice the feelings that triggers knowing all the wonderful new experiences  that you can welcome NOW thanks to that shift.


2) What is continuing to TRANSFORM at the moment as you go into the New Year? 

If there something you currently feel in the middle of ask yourself if there is anything that can help you through the experience. For example; support from a loved one, finding out how others may have completed a similar journey, a loving, comforting practice such as the Inner Light Visualisation or more.

And finally...

3) What would you like to TRANSFORM in 2016 and how can you help that to become a reality? 

Want to improve an area in your life or learn a new skill? Set the date in 2016 when you will start doing that. Writing things down and holding yourself accountable is a powerful step to success.

Now, I'd love to hear from you! 

Using the comment section below, what is your answer to transformation question number 3?  What will 2016 be about for you?  

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this blog post on facebook, twitter or by email and offer a helping hand this season. 

Until next time, wishing you a fabulous end to 2015... let's make 2016 the best year yet!

EXTRA: Want to be the first to receive these posts plus extra bonus information that I only send by email? Sign up to my monthly newsletter here and receive a FREE Guided Visualisation mp3 to boost Self-Esteem. 

* To be carried out ONLY under supervision of trained Firewalk instructors! 
** Photos to follow when I receive them from the SUPER POWER SCHOOL event organisers.

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

How To Feel More Love, Connection & Belonging In Just 90 Seconds...

Can one, simple, shift in perspective completely change our experience of life?

And if so, what is it and how can we remain connected to that especially during times of hardship? 

Those of you that have attended my weekly classes may have heard me use a particular metaphor. It is something I regularly use in coaching sessions too, a perspective to help bring a sense of positivity, strength and magic to seemingly hopeless situations. 

Imagine a dark room, with a little light bulb plugged in and switched on. This is an everlasting light, glowing gently and continuously. Over time however, this light bulb has become covered in dust, cobwebs and comfort blankets. So much so that this light becomes harder to see, and sometimes you hardly notice it's there at all.  
Now if somebody was to enter that room and give it a good spring clean, wiping away all the dust and dirt and clearing away the junk and unnecessary items... how would that light and the room look different? Would it be easier to notice the light? Would the beams of light travel further across the room?

Over the years we can easily forget the potential within us if we neglect this connection... in the end all we see are the limiting beliefs, fears and the things we don't like about ourselves and the world. The potential and power is always there... we just need to clear away the cobwebs and shift our focus to see our life with brighter eyes. 

Personally this perspective has created huge shifts in my life too. I feel such a loving connection to myself and others whenever I use the 3 techniques I am about to share with you. 

As with every coaching session I often give a little bit of extra homework - 5-15 minutes to reinforce further what is covered during the sessions. I asked one of my clients to find some images that represented this light within them, something that they could create a visual reminder so that every day that they saw this, they could continue seeing life through this perspective.

During the next follow up session I was blown away, not only did this individual find the images that worked for them, they also wrote the most beautiful description of what this inner light meant to them.

This was one of my highlights as a coach.

Feeling so in awe of my client, seeing that spark of awakening within happening in front of my eyes as they chose to start embracing life with a brighter perspective.

With this person's permission, I felt this was something that was so beautiful it had to be shared with you too...

"Our inner light is beauty - of us showing our inner and outer beauty to the world. The power of our light is in our hands. Our light is beautiful and precious and to be handled with care. My light represents who I am. 

Our light is our spirit, our freedom, our ability to let go and enjoy, to break through barriers and limitations (limiting beliefs), we can be free and happy, have fun and enjoy life. It represents fun, vitality, spirit, freedom and being yourself. 

Our light is our balance, tranquillity, calm, being grounded, feeling at one with the world and at peace. Connected to my body, mind and soul. It is connection, peace and balance."

And yes, the power of our light is within our own hands. We can choose to ignore this spark of consciousness, ability and potential within or we can chose to embrace it. And by embracing it with love it and seeing yourself and others with this amazing potential and power inside notice how life can open up in wondrous ways.

As I usually do, I tuned in with my client after our initial series of sessions, curious to see how their new perspective has shifted things in their day to day life. "I am calmer, more self-accepting with a better understanding of my emotions and what drives me" they said, "My happiness is spreading to others, creating a sense of well-being to me and those around me". 

By seeing things from this perspective we can increase the sense of loving connection both to ourselves and others. A sense of belonging, with that a greater feeling of perceived certainty. 

And if ever you feel things are a struggle, are feeling down in the dumps or that things are just not going how you'd like them to... know this, you still have that potential within. 

It never goes. 

It is simply just a case of choosing to clear a few cobwebs and shift your focus. Notice how much freer and lighter you could feel afterwards too. Here are 3 ways to reinforce that loving connection...

3 Ways To Reinforce The Loving Connection With Yourself & Others:

  • Create anchors or reminders. In other words, find an image that represents this connection for you and place it somewhere you can see it everyday, or find a song that fills you with that sense of love, light and empowerment within whenever you listen to it (more on Anchors here).
  • Place Your hand over your heart (or wherever you consider your inner light to be) - Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and visualise a light within you growing brighter and brighter and brighter. Then ask yourself the following... 
    • How would my inner light see this situation differently? 
    • And if it was to give some guidance what would it say? Observe what thoughts come up, without judgement. If you need an extra helping hand you may wish to listen to this super quick audio which you can download here
  • Change your emotional state by doing something you LOVE. Something that fills you with joy so much so that you just can't help but smile. Whatever that is whether a creative project, hearing great music, enjoying time with loved ones etc... the more you connect with the things you love, the more joy you will feel and the easier it will be to see life from this lighter perspective. 

Now it's your turn! 

Try the hand over heart exercise now (takes less than 90 seconds!) and ask your light for guidance on a particular area in your life. Using the comment section below, write down what action you will take now after connecting to this new perspective on your chosen situation. 

Have a friend that could benefit from this? Offer a helping hand and share this post. Feel free to discuss what does this light represent for both of you individually? 

If you would like to be the first to receive these posts plus extra bonus information that I only send by email, sign up to my monthly newsletter here...

Until next time, happy connecting :-)

Wednesday, 21 October 2015

How To Resolve Internal Conflicts With These 3 Questions...

It can be tiring, exhausting and confusing. 

It can be downright frustrating. 

As if we are being pulled into two different directions - part of me wants this... and another part wants this...

On one hand I want to go to the gym, on another hand I want to stay at home and watch films. 

And so often what is the behind the emotional turmoil of these conflicts and dilemmas is the belief that we can't have it all or that the two simply don't go together. Sometimes that's not always the case, and even if it is initially, when we take a deeper look at things often the two previously perceived opposing parts actually are looking for the same thing. They just happen to go about it in a different way. 

One of my favourite NLP exercises is Parts Integration, and I have be known to use this for myself whilst on the metro many times! It gently pulls away the hidden masks and layers of internal conflicts, so we can create a new, combined part searching for that common need. 

Below is an example of an old internal conflict from a client who's permission I have to share this. 

Part of them desired a marriage/a committed relationship and the other desired a great career/start up. At the time they could not see how they could have both and they felt they were looking for two completely different things. 

As you can see in the image below, when we broke things down it became apparent that actually both parts were searching for either financial or emotional freedom which in turn would help them to feel Happiness & Passion which is what my client desired at that moment in their life. Both by working within a team of people and also by being with a special someone. It was really about creating connections with others.

P1 (Part 1) & P2 (Part 2) signify the two old opposing parts, B signifies the behaviour or action of these parts and PI represents the positive intentions behind these parts and what they were really looking for underneath their old behaviours. 

My questions after we broke this down were...

"What can you do differently now that you know this?"


"Because what is it really about?"

They answered with "teaming up/partnerships to get in touch with my passion and happiness". "And how can you achieve that" I asked? "By networking" they replied. Not only could they improve business contacts and career options by networking... they could also widen their social community at the same time and possibly meet that special someone. One practical solution that had the potential to satisfy both parts. 

Since that exercise and insight, they have proceeded to make many changes within their life. Mutually ending an long distant relationship that was not working at the time as it neither satisfied their need of connection, happiness or passion. Joining regular networking events, fitness events, social events and successfully creating their own networking community events. These changes even led to physical benefits such as losing 13 kilos in 3 months due to the more active, healthier lifestyle. 

Is that the end and a happily ever after story? As with anything, life is a journey, we are constantly growing, learning, evolving and whilst this person is currently enjoying the single life as I write this, with the new perspective focused on Happiness, Connection & Passion and the active 'make positive changes' attitude will continue to open many more doors in the years to come. And I'm certain the right committed relationship for them too. 

Because after all, anything less than a loving, committed relationship isn't fully feeling, happy, passionate and wealthy though isn't it? 

And anything less than enjoying career success inst fully feeling happy, passionate with a sense of peace though isn't it? 

The two can work hand in hand in perfect harmony if we stay committed and connected to what we truly desire (our positive intentions) rather than the emotional struggle of choosing only one action. 

If anything, this exercise helps us to discover the real why behind our goals and initial desires. A powerful piece of information that can...

  • Boost motivation
  • Keep you focused in the right direction - towards your true desires
  • Help to let go of a lot of internal stress & emotional turmoil
  • Find decision making a lot easier 
  • And more

Now its your turn! Are you aware of any internal conflicts and if so what are you really searching for? What are the highest positive intentions behind each part? The first key question is... 'What does that do for me?'

For example... 

Part 1 wants to go to the gym and we ask... 'What does that do for me?' We may respond with... 'To feel... healthy, fit, loose weight, happiness, at peace with self...'. What we are looking for are the highest possible intentions relating to that behaviour. So in this example that could be peace and happiness. 

Repeat for Part 2, in this case... staying at home. Possible answers may be 'To relax, feel happiness & enjoy peace and quiet'. Notice the similarities between both sets of answers. Quite often, you'll notice that both parts are searching for very similar things. Therefore not really a conflict as once thought.

2) What can I do differently now that I know this? Eg... take a conscious action to satisfy my desire for peace and happiness daily

3) Because, what is it really about? Eg... allowing myself to enjoy a happy and peaceful life rather than beat myself up about what I 'should' or 'shouldn't' do.

Using the comment section below I'd love to hear from you and what positive changes you will make in your day to day life to fulfil your positive intentions. By writing things down we can take the first step towards positive change.

Have a friend struggling with internal conflicts and would find this useful? Offer a helping hand and share this post. 

If you would like to be the first to receive these posts plus extra bonus information that I only send by email sign up to my monthly newsletter here...

Until next time, happy integrating :-)

Friday, 25 September 2015

2 Common Hidden Desires Behind Emotional Food Cravings

Our emotional state is a powerful thing.

It can make or break situations. 

It can propel us forward and try new things or make us want to hide away and avoid the world. 

It can help us manifest what we want or don't want.

It can also affect our relationship with food.

How often have you eaten more when you are stressed? How often have you felt low, down in the dumps or simply bored and can't seem to stop craving and/or eating certain foods?

Whilst yes, the physical body may guide you at times if its lacking certain vitamins or minerals and will do so by craving certain foods. What often happens though, is when we crave foods the actual food is not what we are really looking for. 

You can tell the difference between a physical need and emotional need by the nature of the situation. Trace your thoughts and emotions back and notice how they developed as that food craving arose. 

What was I thinking and feeling before that craving occurred?

How am I feeling now as I crave that food? 

You may notice that just before a food craving arose that you were feeling bored or in a low emotional state for example. And you may notice that you were thinking unhelpful thoughts that were putting yourself down and helping you to feel like a victim. Yes our thoughts can create our emotions! (More on emotions here). 

A question you can ask yourself is...

"Hmm I wonder, what am I really craving?"

In many ways, NLP is above all a valuable mindset and life perspective. It puts us in the driving seat, helping us to become aware of so many choices and possibilities. It infuses curiosity about ourselves, others and life. 

The perfect example is when I was on the beach this summer. There were some unisex toilets, and a queue of people waiting assuming that the 'shut door = its occupied'. Out of nowhere this little boy walked all the way to the front of the queue and opened the door to the toilet and stepped inside. It was empty after all much to the surprise of those in the queue! That's what I mean by the curiosity. Its a questioning, a wondering, and a childlike inquisitive mind discovering what is really going on in the situation (not what we assume is happening), what options are available and using that information to take action. 

Are you looking to feel a comforting emotion to help lift you out of the boredom and low mood? This is a common reason why many people crave certain foods that remind them of comforting times during childhood. They are simply trying to connect to that feeling.

Of course we can enjoy comfort food from time to time, and of course it's wonderful to reconnect with old recipes and dishes we used to love. What is unhelpful though is continuing a regular pattern of using food to feed us the emotions that we wish to feel. Especially if they are junk food items or foods that are unhelpful to our physical health. We will only feel crap about eating it afterwards if we do so on a regular basis and beat ourselves up about it. Not the most helpful action. Thus creating a continuous cycle of emotional food cravings. 

So if you want to curb the cravings, use your inquisitive skills and ask yourself... "Hmm I wonder, what am I really craving?" Because more often than not, there is a hidden goal, a hidden positive intention. And quite often if we're feeling unhappy and unfulfilled, searching for comfort food, there are 1 or more of the 6 Basic Human Needs (especially the two in pink!) that we are searching for unconsciously...

  1. Feeling a sense of Love, Belonging & Connection to others
  2. Feeling Significant and that we are recognised for things
  3. Having a sense of perceived Certainty, feeling safe and secure
  4. Experiencing a sense of Variety
  5. Feeling a sense of Growth as an individual
  6. Feeling that we are Contributing to the lives of others

Once you know what you are really looking for, you can then brainstorm other ways to bring that feeling into your life, therefore helping to reduce the cravings for unhelpful foods. 

For example... if you find you are really looking to feel a sense of perceived certainty, then you can find other ways to help you feel supported, safe and comfortable without using food. For example; creating the most comfortable environment you can at home or by calling a dear friend and asking for help during a time of uncertainty.

Another way to change your emotional state is simply to bring your attention 100% to the present moment, breathe deeply, raise your arms up above your head, tilt your head up and close your eyes as you continue to breathe and focus on your breath. Almost as if you have just won a race and someone captured a photo of you passing through the finish line as you truly felt that moment. This is a called a Power Pose and you'll understand why it's called that as you bring it into your life on a regular basis. (For the science behind the pose click here).

What have you got to lose? ;-) 

Now its your turn. What are you really craving and how you'll fulfill that need without using food? Use the space in the comment section below to state your new actions and kick start you into a healthier relationship with yourself and food.

Have a friend who is struggling with emotional food cravings or simply needs an extra boost of energy? Offer a helping hand and share this post. 

Want to be the first to receive these posts plus extra personal tips and messages that I only send by email? Sign up to my monthly newsletter here.

Thursday, 20 August 2015

One Common, Forgotten Key To Manifesting What You Want

'Think big'

'Skies the limit' 

'Don't hold back' often do we actually do that? 

How often do we allow ourselves to ask for what we really want?

Maybe you do allow yourself to ask and take action towards goals yet still find yourself in times of struggle and hardship?

I have seen both with myself and clients, that so many of us place ourselves at times, in these containers of 'I don't deserve it', 'I'm not good enough', 'don't be greedy' etc. Believing that if we are happy, successful and receive wonderful things then that's often considered as a threat to others. Now that's an unhappy belief to hold onto! 

What if we were to change things and start allowing ourselves to receive those gifts? If we allow ourselves to experience happiness then we naturally radiate that others, helping the world to be a brighter place.

I was reminded of this on a recent holiday to Menorca. I emailed the reception staff before travelling to check if I could have two single beds, for myself and my friend who was joining me in the studio flat I reserved. I thought, "you know what I really would love? Is a studio flat with a sea view and a terrace too. Why not?" I considered it for a moment as I heard the dialogue starting in my mind "You can't ask for all of that, it's too much, you're just being greedy, you're already requesting a change of the beds blah blah blah." I observed the thoughts and then let them go proceeding to request what I wanted regardless, ceasing to listen to the limiting beliefs further. 

[Before I continue, I'd like to add that everyone has moments of doubt and negative self talk at some point in their lives (yes even NLP coaches!). I point this out to let you know that it's OK. It's what makes us human. Be kind to yourself, as it's what we do with these thoughts that really count. The less we focus on these doubts and detach from the negative stories we tell ourselves, the less they will have an impact on our lives.]

Later that day I received a response, saying that all the studio flats were on the ground floor with no sea views and no terrace so the extra requests were not possible. "Fair enough" I thought, "Even though it would be really nice (and I believe I deserve it!)... I'll let it go." 

When I arrived to check in, despite my initial booking all the studios were unavailable as they accidentally double booked themselves the last minute. 

This resulted in receiving a completely free upgrade to a 3 bedroom flat with sea views and a terrace. 


Would I have still received that if I hadn't emailed that request? Who knows. 

However, I am sure that by...

  • Allowing myself to request that and put the message out there regardless
  • Being open to receiving what I wanted (i.e. believing that I deserved it) 
  • AND most importantly letting go of the 'how' and fearful attachments to the results

...helped to bring that into reality (more on how we create our reality here). 

When manifesting/goal setting if we are constantly stuck in a place of doubt, fear, 'I don't deserve it' mentality... even whilst taking action towards our goals, that's often when the struggles and set backs come into play. It's not to say everything will be completely 100% plain sailing if we don't. Just that by asking, believing and letting go of the reins of attachment it can help to make the ride a whole lot smoother. 

Next time you catch yourself wanting something and hearing that Gremlin in the back of your head with all the excuses, limiting beliefs and fears...take a moment and STOP.

  1. Briefly observe the doubts and let them go by changing your focus back what you want - not what you don't want or the fears surrounding it. (More info on how to remove persistent limiting beliefs here)
  2. Feel how good it could be to have that as you visualise it (Make it sensory based noting what you'll see, hear and feel)
  3. Put the message out there by taking action. Bite-size, actionable steps to move towards that desired outcome.
  4. Then, change your focus back 100% to whatever you were doing previously in the present moment. This helps to let go of attachment to fears and doubts and surrender to the flow of true manifestation. 

I often find the last step is the most powerful as it helps to release attachment and stop entertaining the fears and doubts. If these are left to linger within our focus they can reverse the whole manifestation process. This is the hidden key that most people forget about. Bringing our attention back to the present moment.

Try it. 

Notice what changes as you use that hidden key whenever you wish for something. Using the comments below share what you would love to receive in the next month and observe what thoughts come up. If you notice any 'I don't deserve it' beliefs, challenge them and state positive phrases to break that down such as 'I am choosing to deserve it' or 'With every breath I take my self worth grows stronger and stronger'. Then following the steps above notice what happens. 

Have a friend that would find this useful? Share this post and offer a helping hand.

Until next time, happy manifesting ;-)

EXTRA: Want to be the first to receive these posts plus extra bonus information that I only send by email? Sign up to my monthly newsletter here and receive a FREE Guided Visualisation mp3 to boost Self-Esteem.

Monday, 20 July 2015

How To Find Your Personal Motivation Point

Many years ago when living with my parents in the UK we had a tropical fish tank filled with a rainbow of beautiful little fish. Over the course of a few months these fish began to disappear, apart from one, which in turn grew bigger and bigger and bigger. You can guess what was happening! 

One day when we relocated this fish to a bigger tank at the local pet store, it jumped out and starting flapping its way across our kitchen floor. Needless to say we all started screaming and running around the house like we had just seen a Yeti or something - some were even hugging each other and crying too! Yes, it looked as comical as it sounds.

In that moment I naturally started to do what we call in NLP 'checking ecology'. I considered all the options available possible consequences and used that information to motivate me to pick up the flapping fish and place it into the water again. Despite feeling very squeamish, I did it anyway because I could not bear to see the fish suffer nor could I sleep in peace if I had not done everything in my power to help it. 

In every situation where there is something that feels right to do, yet we are afraid to take action there can be powerful motivators to help us take that step. By considering all options and consequences (a.k.a. checking ecology) we can propel ourselves forward into brighter, happier experiences in the long run. 

As Susan Jeffers says... "Feel the fear and do it anyway!"

Perhaps there is something that you want to do at the moment such as asking someone out for a date or applying for that job you desire, yet you are currently stuck in a state of fear. Everyone is unique with different variations of beliefs and fears... for what one person fears and believes another may feel differently about it. And by taking a moment to consider the following questions you can tap into your own point of motivation and use that information to take your desired action. 

  1. If I were to achieve/do/have ____X____ what would I gain?
  2. If I didn't achieve/do/have ____X_____what would I gain? 
  3. If I were to achieve/do/have _____X_____what would I lose? 
  4. If I didn't achieve/do/have _____X______what would I lose?

Feel free to take it even further and consider... if you were to do nothing, taking no action at all what would your life experience be like in 3 months time? And 6 months time? And 1 years time? 

Notice what changes as you consider these questions. And what gave you the biggest boost of motivation? By taking time to consider the consequences of possible actions we can really kick start ourselves into action.

So as always, I invite you the next 30 days to put this into practice and 'check ecology' whenever you make decisions or work towards a goal. Use your personal motivation point and notice what changes when you do. 

This can be especially powerful as a reminder every time you want to procrastinate or self sabotage by eating unhealthy foods or avoiding exercise. We have a choice. Do you want something to change? Start by considering the questions above and use that extra energy to propel you into a more compelling future.

I'd love to hear from you - which question generated the most motivation for you? Using the comment section below please share your thoughts. Also, do you have a friend who is currently lacking in motivation? Offer a helping hand and share this post with them helping you both to Kick start this summer with an extra burst of energy in the right direction.

Wishing you all a great summer!

Ps/The big fish was very happy & healthy in his new home :-)

Monday, 29 June 2015

How To Feel More Satisfied In Life: Discover Your Personal Key...

"One day there was a little boy, he had a large cupboard filled with different toys in his bedroom. In that cupboard were 4 teddy bears all varying slightly in shape, size and colour. 
A little brown teddy bear at the front of the cupboard was the toy that was the most loved and cared for. It still looked in good condition as it was treated so well by this little boy. He loved this bear so much so that he had completely forgotten about the other three teddy bears towards the back of the cupboard. 
The other three were squashed and dusty, full of cobwebs and spiders as they had not been seen or touched since they had been placed into that cupboard. In his eyes, he only had one. That little brown bear."

Sometimes we can forget that there are other things within us that call for care and attention. We place all of our focus and attention onto our physical body for example and forget to nourish our other 'bodies'. Yes energetically speaking we have many!

Take a moment to consider all of the different 'bodies' you have from your physical, mental, to your emotional and even spiritual if not more. And ask yourself...which of these do I nourish the most?

To nourish means 'to supply with what is necessary for life, health, and growth', to care for, to maintain, to look after so you can experience health within that area. If we want to feel better emotionally, or to experience better mental health whether be it improving memory or reducing negative thoughts - by nourishing these 'bodies' we can experience greater health. Just as if you want to gain more physical muscle we nourish our physical body with physical exercise whatever that may be.

If you like, you can take this even further and consider all the different parts of you... your playful part, your loving part, your creative part, your intellectual part etc.

Which 'part' are you currently nourishing and satisfying the most?

Which is the most neglected and could do with some care and attention? 

If you were to create more of a balance between these 'bodies' or 'parts', how would that affect all areas of your life?

What would that look, sound and feel like?

So how can we nourish and satisfy these 'bodies' or 'parts' of ourselves? Think about what can help promote greater health, for example we know for the physical body wholefoods and exercise can work wonders, just as meditation for the mental body can help reduce negative thoughts over time. The emotional which can often be the most neglected due to fear of showing our vulnerabilities (or even fear of what we may find!) can be nourished by hugs, hearing uplifting music and more. Each person is different. 

The great thing is that many things can help many 'bodies'. As we know from the mind/body connection that meditation not only helps our mental body it can also affect our emotional and more. What this brings to light is self awareness, giving us a moment to tune in and simply consider those different parts or bodies within us, and if anything is crying out for our attention. And by doing so we can experience a more balanced and harmonious life with a greater sense of satisfaction. 

So if you were that little boy what would you do differently now? 

This month I challenge you to chose one small action that you can do on a daily/weekly basis that will nourish the 'body' or 'part' of yourself that is currently neglected. 

What will you choose? And notice how great that could feel afterwards!

As always I like to join in the NLP fun too ;-) so this month I'm going to listen to more uplifting music for the 'dancer' part of me now that my laptop is fixed. Let the party begin!

Do you have a friend that could benefit from this post? Give a helping hand by sharing this and empowering each other during the week whilst you both nourish yourselves back to wholeness.

Feels good doesn't it?

Monday, 25 May 2015

One Simple Trick To Deal With Overwhelm...

To do list's...


Worries & fears...

What can we do when thing's get too much? 

Is there a magic secret to reducing anxiety?

The topic of 'overwhelm' came up in conversation during a NLP meetup not long ago... a common challenge for many as they strive in society to be the perfect person with the perfect career, relationship, body, health etc. This image of perfection that has been portrayed often in society as to what everyone 'needs' in order to be happy has it's consequences. 

Whilst it's great to move forward in life, gently challenging yourself to step outside of your comfort zone and achieve your goals... by having too much emphasis on 'needing' more in order to be happy can put ourselves in a very unhappy place if we have yet to achieve it. 

And gives us a pretty overwhelming list of thing's to achieve too.

Letting go of our need for perfection can help let go of internal overwhelm.


Yes, there are two main types of overwhelm as I know it...

People can feel overwhelmed on an internal basis - too many thoughts, worries, fears, regrets, not knowing what decisions to make.

It has become common human nature to regret and worry about past and future events, lack of trust and confidence in our ability and decision making. Creating a complex web of worries and fears. Jumping from idea to idea... dancing around every painful memory, possible outcomes and fears about what may happen... essentially everything BUT, what is happening in the present moment. 

One way to do this is to mindfully observe what surrounds you in the present moment. Mentally noting... 'chair, table, glass' etc or whatever is in your surroundings can be a quick way to switch off the mental chatter and regain a moment of presence in your life. 

People can feel overwhelmed on an external basis - sensory overload when they are in busy, stimulating situations such as in big crowds, shopping centres, city centres etc.

Modern day lifestyle has changed the way human beings live dramatically - loosing the tranquility and simplicity of being connected with nature and ourselves. Being in place of non stop hustle and bustle, noise and commotion. 

And for those of you who need your peace and quiet, busy situations can become unbearable. 

How I dealt with overwhelm...
Being a highly empathetic and sensitive person, I used to struggle a lot with external overwhelm. So much so that I often experienced huge amount of anxiety and panic attacks in the past. Being in crowed places used to be unbearable. Whilst there were many things that helped, one simple trick that helped me the most was tuning out everything that was going on around me by changing my focus to one point only... 

My thumb and index finger. 

By bringing my attention here and noticing the sensation of the tips of these two fingers gently rubbing against each other dramatically changed my focus. My breathing slowed and deepened, my muscles relaxed and I felt a lot calmer. If ever I catch myself absorbing too much external information or thinking about too many things, this simple action brings me back quickly and effectively.

We become overwhelmed when we focus on too much at once, whether be it internally or externally.

So the trick is to simply reduce your focus to ONE thing only. 

One small physical touch or sensation can help significantly to bring more clarity and calm into your life. Some people use their breath, some use a song, an image or an object as a reminder... find what works for you. 

Something to pull you back to the present moment, one small area of focus so you can then see the situation from a more helpful perspective. 

I'd love to hear from you - what do you notice when you practice this technique in moments of overwhelm? Notice what changes emotionally, mentally and physically and share your findings in the comments below. 

What can you do differently now to achieve your goals and enjoy lively situations (if that's what you want to do) whilst maintaining your calmer perspective?

Do you know a friend or loved one who suffers from overwhelm? Offer a helping hand and forward this blog post. 

Life does not need to be as complicated as we make it!

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

How To Let Go Of Excess Emotional Baggage

Emotions are funny things aren't they? 

Catching us off guard and making us say things we don't want to say or do what we don't want to do. Common belief is that things just happen to us...we have no control over life and how we feel - now that's a powerless position to put ourselves in! And a scary one too, never knowing what's around the corner or if we'd be able to handle it.

Can we really control our emotions? 

Good news. The answer is YES! How we experience life is much to do with what is going on in our 'control tower' - our brain! The thoughts and images that we choose to focus on in our mind all have a meaning that we attach to it. For each person the meanings are different - we each have our own 'map of the world' or 'pair of glasses' if you like and its by focusing on these meanings, thoughts and beliefs that we have the control of creating lighter or heavier emotional states. It's up to us. 

Not easy, I know.

I certainly have my moments too. The magic part though is being aware and accepting responsibility which can bring a HUGE sense of freedom. We have a choice, we can mope around all day and point the finger elsewhere (easy to do!) or we can accept that the quickest way things will change is by doing something about it and to start changing our focus (more effort at first but oh so more rewarding!).  

So when you next catch yourself starting to feel sad, angry or frustrated...trace back your thoughts and notice where your focus was. Quite often you'll notice negative thoughts such as 'its not working, I cant do anything right' or 'he hasn't replied, he's lost interest in me'...hmmm not so uplifting thoughts eh? 

No wonder we feel rubbish afterwards!

So how can we let go of the emotional baggage if we find ourselves swimming in heavy emotions? 

1) Openness & Loving Awareness: Being open to consider a different perspective, noticing how we feel and tracing back our thoughts to find the root cause. Notice the word 'loving' here. This is not about beating ourselves up again for having a negative thought in the first place...simply be curious and notice.

2) Re-framing: Challenge your thoughts and beliefs and re-frame the situation. Is it really that 'he's lost interest'? Or perhaps he's had a challenging day?

3) Creative Release: If you still feel some of that emotion you wish to let go of, find a creative outlet to release it whether be that through dance, exercise, writing or art etc. I often encourage clients to write what I call the 'I feel...' page if I notice there needs to be more of a release. 

Taking out an A4 piece of paper and repeating and finishing the sentence 'I feel...' until they have completely covered the page. Emotions are like energetic heavy weights if we hold onto writing things down we can let go of some of those weights, allowing the emotions to express their true nature and simply be the 'energy in motion' that they are. Its our constant focus on unhelpful thoughts, judgement and lack of creative release that makes them heavier. Writing the 'I feel...' page followed by screwing up and throwing away the paper can create a huge relief. I also use this technique if ever there is a time I feel the need to let go of excess emotional baggage and it works wonders.

Being an empathetic person myself (yes, its my number one Gallup strength too!) can have its pros and cons. Whilst I often feel what clients are feeling and sense intuitively what needs to be worked on in each moment it can also mean I need to be very loyal to my personal well-being to then ensure I can continue giving the best service possible. Just like when you're travelling by plane and they say 'place your own mask on first before helping others' - because if you don't you simply cannot help others effectively. 

These above tools are fundamental for any empathetic person, or anyone dealing with unpleasant emotions. Try it, notice how much lighter you can feel and let me know what difference you notice in the comments below! Or perhaps you have a technique that works great for you, I'd love to hear your thoughts - feel free to share with everyone in the comments below.

Its through the practice where the real magic happens! 

And finally, do you have friends currently struggling with their emotions? Forward on this post and create pack for a week with your friend, both supporting each other through the 3 step process and discussing the changes that they say sharing is caring and a helping hand can work wonders.