Thursday, 21 April 2016

3 Factors That Keep You Dis-Empowered & How To Break Free

Those of you who follow my page on Facebook might have noticed.

It wasn't the smoothest of rides.

Though as with most things there is always a silver lining.

Yes, this beach in the picture below looks idyllic. I literally drunk coconuts every day for nearly two weeks. Mmm my favourite!

It was also HOT. 

So hot that you had to walk at half the speed you normally do. Sweat dripping constantly only to find relief when your face was pressed against a cool, peppermint, flannel during a Thai foot massage.

Yes Thailand!

One of my favourite countries and with people so warm that their friendly smiles are recognised as a national treasure. The 'land of smiles' as they say. And don't even get me started on the food! ;-)

What this photo doesn't show though is the journey in getting there. 

It was a looong trip with nearly 8 hours worth of delayed flights. Apparently it only rains one or two days a year in Dubai, or so I heard. It just so happened that the day we transferred flights in Dubai there was torrential rain putting the majority of flights on hold.

You see the thing is, experiences happen and its our response and how we choose to view things that make a HUGE difference to our life enjoyment.

In reality they are simply just experiences. 

We are the ones attaching meanings to events. We are creating these stories within our mind. And if pessimistic outlooks and stories are left to linger these can affect our emotional well-being significantly.

This journey was in fact a blessing. After two nights of not much sleep at all, I arrived to Bangkok and much to my surprise I had no jet lag as I had dealt with it all on route. I was able to slip into the local timezone easily without side affects at all.

Therefore more time to really enjoy Thailand. Yes!

These experiences can also give us memories, stories (blog posts!) and opportunities to learn. This journey made me aware of 3 important factors we often overlook. 3 things that keep us stuck, dis-empowered and as a victim to so called 'bad luck'.*

Tweet: "How we choose to view events determines how we experience events." Emma Bradford

FIRST: When you see a picture, a selfie, an image in a magazine... know that it doesn't always tell you the full story. This is especially important if you regularly compare your life and body to others. As the famous quote goes...

"Don't compare your backstage with some else's show reel" Steve Furtick

I cannot count the amount of clients, especially women who came to sessions with negative feelings and beliefs their body - feeling shameful and regularly wishing they had what others have. Especially when browsing social media. Remind yourself... these pictures are not the full story. 

Choose to empower yourself instead.

SECOND: Ask yourself... what meaning am I attaching to this event? Start separating the simple facts apart from any emotional labels and limiting beliefs that you may have placed on top. The more we focus on the latter, the more that situation will be an emotional trauma for us. 

For example... two young women go to a bar. Woman A attracts more male attention than Woman B. Woman B might start believing that men hate her (notice the negative story/meaning attachment). What could be more true is she may have already been giving herself negative self talk previously. In front of the mirror, getting changed, comparing herself to her friend in the lead up to entering the bar. By the time she arrived to the bar, her emotional state and physiology was reflecting the negative self view, which also determined her behaviour too. As they say... 93% of what we communicate is non-verbal. 

Observe what meanings you attach... are you attaching meanings that are empowering or dis-empowering? 

THIRD: Challenge yourself to find the positive learning in all situations. This is not to mean that you need to suppress your emotions and 'always be happy' everything is always great. No. We are human, we have a rainbow of emotions and these valleys and peaks add colour to life. Allow yourself to feel, notice, observe... and then learn from the event by finding the blessing in disguise. If we don't, we remain stuck as a victim, dis-empowered and fearful.

What we experience, quite often is not as bad as we think. 

Whilst I was beyond tired, the great comedy and meditations on flight kept me happy and occupied during the journey. And after hearing news of terrorist attacks in Europe just hours after I landed back in Spain, my journey seemed totally insignificant in compassion. So grateful to be ALIVE.

I invite you today...

If you are experiencing something uncomfortable, how can you view that differently?

And if life happens FOR you, rather than to you what can you learn here?

I first heard this last question a few years ago and it really made me think. Its a wonderful way to quickly shift our perspective from being the 'victim' to an empowered student of life.

Now I'd love to hear from you!

After asking yourself the questions above, what have you learnt as a result? Using the comment section below I'd love to hear your shares. And you never know, it may help someone else too in a similar situation as they read the shares.

Until next time, wishing you a wonderful month ahead!

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*To read more on what I think of Luck click here.