Monday, 28 March 2016

One Important Key To Finding What You Want

It was a few summers ago when I experienced this, a great reminder many people overlook.

A fundamental point that has the ability to significantly change your life experience, and if ignored can lead to all sorts of lengthy detours and challenges.

That summer I was discovering the sites and wonders that Cataluña has to offer... enjoying the fresh, clean, forest air.

Ahhh... the perfect antidote to busy, entrepreneurial life.

Crystal clear streams to cool down from the Spanish sun, followed by tranquil picnic spots to unwind after a long day exploring.

During this trip, my road trip partner and I were excitedly preparing for a summer barbecue, we had the coals, the food, now we just needed a site.*

"We'd like to find a BBQ site please!" we eagerly stated out loud - as we often did. 

Hungry and raring to go we drove through a little town and asked some locals. They pointed, we followed, only to find the site was closed and no BBQ's were allowed.

Onto the next.

Adventure filled road trip for sure.

The next site we found had facilities however the locals clearly stated we had to ask permission, book the space before hand and the person in charge was unavailable at the moment. We had found a space but we couldn't use it. Hmmm thinking to myself, something started to click within.

"OK... we'd like to find a BBQ site that is available to use this evening".

The search continued, both being typical Taurus, we weren't giving up that easily!

Next stop: There was an available site, but also a huge derelict building right next to it. The space was filthy, broken glass, stray cats... it looked like something from a horror film in the diminishing evening light. Not inviting at all.

"OK! We'd like to find a BBQ site that is available to use this evening, comfortable, clean and welcoming!" 

At this point we were both laughing, realising what had been preventing our success up until now.

Sometimes we think we are putting the message 'out there' for what we want... when in reality we are giving mixed messages or simply just being too vague. We may know that critical thinking, fears and doubts can hinder the manifesting process, however, what many often forget is that not being SPECIFIC is a major factor too. 

In this case, it was the later and this adventure was a wonderful reminder. We had simply been looking for 'BBQ site'. We found spaces, just not what we really wanted.

Our RAS (Reticular Activating System), a part of the brain that helps to bring things to our awareness was looking for something vague as that was all we had stated. RAS, a filter between the unconscious and conscious... a fundamental part of the brain for goal setting. More on the RAS here.

If we desire something, and we are not clear on what we really want... it can lead us down all sorts of adventure filled experiences. Whilst that can be fun, sometimes it can take us much longer to achieve that desired outcome.

Look at it this way: 

If you want to enjoy great health, regulate your natural weight, boost self esteem, love your body etc answer the following...

1) What SPECIFICALLY are you looking for?

E.g.) 'I want to be healthy enough to do __X__' (not just 'I want to be healthy'... notice the difference?)

2) Where and when would you like that? (What specific day and time?) 

E.g.) I want to be healthy enough to do ___X___ by ____'

3) How will you know when you achieve that? (What will you see, hear, and feel?) 

E.g.) 'When I am healthy enough to do __X__ by ___ I will see____, hear____ and feel____'

The clearer the desire within your focus, the clearer the message that goes to you RAS, therefore the more likely that outcome will occur. Your RAS does not know that difference between reality and imagined experiences. It doesn't even know the difference between limiting beliefs and true helpful beliefs. It simply acts like a faithful dog running after the ball its master has thrown. So feed it clear, positive direction by doing the following...

  • Visualise: Imagine your desired outcome as a movie scene including all the desired details and sensory information (what you will see, hear and feel).
  • Positive Language: Talk about your desired outcome using positive, reinforcing language both with yourself and others. For example, 'I am losing weight' not 'I am trying to lose weight but it never seems to shift' the later reinforces 'I am not losing weight' to your RAS... which in turn keeps that experience in your reality. 
  • Consistent Action: Take small, consistent actionable steps towards your desired outcome to strengthen and reinforce the direction you wish to go in.
  • Reprogram The Unconscious Mind: Clear up any opposing, negative beliefs that may be stored unconsciously. More on removing limiting beliefs here.

And you'll be pleased to know, on that trip we managed to enjoy some delicious BBQ's, in gorgeous spots despite the initial detours!

Now I’d love to hear from you...

What SPECIFIC desired outcome would you like to experience and what first step can you can take towards achieving that? 

Using the comment section below, schedule it now and holding yourself accountable. It is scientifically proven that those who write goals down, and do the necessary steps above are over 95% more likely to achieve them. Yes really! So the real question is, how much do you really want it? ;-)

I look forward to reading your comments, until next time, wishing you a fabulous month ahead.

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*Because of forest fires and the Spanish heat there are specific locations for enjoying BBQ's.