Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Self Development: How Far Is Too far?

The self-development industry (or what I like to call...Self-Awareness) has exploded over the last 20 years... it seems more and more people are searching for something deeper. 

A connection and awareness that helps them to feel more fulfilled in life.

Last week a wonderful discussion at my weekly NLP meetups got me thinking further on this topic...

How far is too far when it comes to Self Development? 

And is Self Improvement just a form of not accepting yourself?

If we continue to strive towards goals, continuously making changes within, always looking to reach somewhere... how does that fit in with learning to accept and love ourselves in the moment?

Some say we need to just accept everything as it is, whilst others say we need to achieve SMART goals and continue moving forward making changes until we become who we want to be.

As with many things, I personally believe it is the art of personal balance. It's not that we either have one or the other, the two are very much connected and part of the same thing.

Mainly, helping us to enjoy life.

Finding the right harmony between continuing to let go of what no longer works (i.e. limiting beliefs, unhelpful habits, and achieving new goals that connect us closer to our true spirit) alongside a more mindful, grateful and present approach to life can lead to a deeper and more fulfilled connection with ourselves and our life experience. It's to do with the approach and attitude we take than anything.

You can use self-development techniques from a place of self hatred, 'I don't like myself, I need to become a new person'


You can use self-development techniques from a place of self love. 'I notice this habit is unhelpful for me so I choose learn from it and then remove it because I care about myself and my future'

The two A's...

Self Acceptance

Increases Self-Esteem levels, helps us to feel loved
Helps in letting go of unnecessary grudges, fears, beliefs etc
Boosts Confidence to try new things, step out of comfort zone so to achieve any desired goals
Is all about enjoying the journey along the way, taking a kinder and more mindful approach to your Self Awareness practice
Recognising imperfections and flaws with love and choosing to let go of what no longer serves us
And much more...

Self Awareness
Is using techniques such as NLP or other to discover more about yourself, so you continue to grow and evolve
Find out what really makes you tick, what are the root causes to your current challenges, how can you re-frame them and learn from these?
Helps you to keep moving forward, creating movement and direction in your life
And much more...

Consider this...

If you truly accepted yourself, would you continue unhelpful habits that were harming you? True self-acceptance also means letting go of what no longer works... accepting the need for change and removing the limiting beliefs, uncovering the real you inside.

Check in:
If you are facing a challenge at the moment ask yourself the following...

Is this habit, belief or situation harming me?
Is this habit, belief or situation holding me back?
Does this habit, belief or situation help me gain anything? If so what? How can I achieve that same gain in more helpful way?
If I no longer had this habit, belief or situation, how would my life be different?

By noticing your answers to these questions you can determine what action you can take to create loving self awareness. This may require you to use Self Awareness techniques whether be it NLP or other to remove unhelpful habits or limiting beliefs you may find that are no longer necessary.

Because what is it really about?

Simply to enjoy life, and some would say that is getting out there, trying new things, letting go of unhelpful beliefs and fears, whilst also enjoying the flowers along the way.

Comment below, what do you find useful from this post and how will that impact your daily life?

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