Thursday, 26 May 2016

Have You Said This Too?

We often underestimate the power of them.

They're so powerful in fact, that I even experienced physical symptoms from them.

Dizzy, light headed and sometimes even nausea.* Spending years not knowing what was going on when strange unexplained symptoms popped up.

I was so frustrated. And that frustration just made it worse.

After many years of consulting health care professionals and digging deep emotionally and mentally within... it turned out that the majority of the time after these unexplained symptoms arose, I had been using hurtful and pressuring words towards myself.

That's right... words.

Words have an immense power to affect us emotionally, physically and mentally. Not only do they help us to communicate, form specific languages, express different sounds that vibrate through the air so to be heard by ourselves and others.

They are also powerful creators.

And we don't even need to speak them out loud to be affected by them. We can simply think them and the effects can be felt. 

When I first learned NLP, things started to piece together. How we talk to ourselves and about ourselves, the words we choose and the those that form beliefs... create our life experience. Something I always knew intuitively, though until I actually felt the vibrational difference of words it was only a concept.

I entered an eye opening reality. Discovering how I could empower myself and others, or put others down, how I could feel calm and centered or how I could feel bouts of nausea. I had the complete control whether I chose to believe and accept it or not. And this is the same for everyone else.

I was reminded of this recently, flicking through Spanish TV channels one evening seeing if there was anything 'edible' (as my Mother says!) when I stumbled upon a talent contest. Not the greatest quality show though it's certainly entertaining once in a while.

One vibrant, full of energy contestant caught my attention. Not only was she beaming with life, it was how she introduced herself that really made me stop and think.

"Hi my name is_______, and I am _______ years young"

Wait a minute, what did she say?

"I am ____ years YOUNG".


In society, the way we talk, phrases and words are often used without a second thought. We talk about how old we are... and feel bad about our age. If words and beliefs create our reality then perhaps this vibrant contestant was beaming because of how she CHOSE to represent herself?

Observing others, we can learn a lot. We can also discover a great wealth of insights by noticing our self talk.

And often that's where we really let loose!

The Inner Critic spills out endless should's, must's, have to's without a second thought. And many don't realise that these words have a HUGE impact on our emotional and mental health... and as I found out, physical well-being too.

What I did when I felt an unexplained symptom, was to trace back my thoughts and notice what I had just said to myself a few seconds before... 99% of the time there was the word Should.

SHOULD brings a sense of pressure, a sense of have to, must do, need to. A sense receiving orders with a heavy feeling, placing ourselves into small constricting boxes. Especially with regards to a task we don't want to do.

Now if we change this into something more empowering... such as could, notice the difference...

COULD brings a sense of possibility, opportunity, and optimism. A lighter feeling of expansion as you give yourself an option. You could do that task, however its not a demand. Even if its about something that we do need to do, simply by talking and thinking about it using the word could helps to ease the pressure of the said task.

Awareness is the first step to making a change. 

Every time I noticed unexplained physical symptoms, I back-tracked my thoughts. If I had used the word should (which quite often I had!) I simply restated the sentence to myself again exchanging the word Should for Could. And just by doing this, symptoms alleviated significantly which taught me about the immense power words have on our mental, emotional and physical health. 


Like a weight being lifted off my shoulders, fog clearing and a great sense of relief.

How to exchange dis-empowering words for empowering ones...

"I intend to lose weight" or "I am loosing weight" rather than "I'm trying to lose weight"

"I'm being showered with gifts" other than "I'm being spoiled with gifts"
"I can give it a go" in exchange for "I can't do it because of_____"
"I could do_______" or "I choose to do_____" in replacement of "I should do______"

If our thoughts and words create our reality then surely using more empowering words can help us into greater positive experience right?

Now I encourage you to notice the words you choose this week and ask yourself this...

When are you most critical of yourself? (What are you doing/not doing, thinking/saying... what are your surroundings at the time?)

And when are you least critical of yourself? (What are you doing/not doing, thinking/saying... what are your surroundings at the time?)

What do these answers tell you? What are the differences between the two?

Finally, let me know in the comment section below what differences you notice when you purposely use the word should and when you use the word could... what changes?

Until next time, wishing you a wonderful month ahead!

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*This is help communicate how our language can affect us at all levels. Knowing this can help improve our well-being. Please remember that for serious health concerns always seek a trusted health care professional and get reoccurring symptoms checked out.