How Changing One Word Can Alter How You Feel

We often under estimate the power of language.

We speak to ourselves and others without much thought to what we are really saying. Self talk to ourselves is where we often really let loose and we can learn a lot about our beliefs and values by noticing what we say in our internal dialogues.


Are you loving towards yourself or critical?

When are you more loving to yourself?

When do you give yourself permission to be kind to yourself? 

A few years ago I started to become aware of the energetic differences between particular words, in other words the feeling that they created within when used. For example, the difference between the word Should and the word Could.

Sometimes in the past I felt this so strongly that I physically felt nausea or dizzy spells when I regularly used the word Should. Almost as if I was one of those cartoons that had just been hit on the head and their head was spinning. It took me years to understand what was going on, through trial and error and a few trips to the doctors and other healthcare practitioners to find out what was wrong with no success, I finally realised the majority of the issue was my self talk and choice of language that I used.

If I felt a symptom I would trace back my thoughts and notice what I had just said to myself a few seconds before...99% of the time there was the word Should.

SHOULD brings a sense of pressure, a sense of have to, must do, need to. A sense receiving orders with a heavy feeling, especially if you are talking about a task you do not wish to do.

COULD brings a sense of possibility, opportunity, and optimism. A lighter feeling without the pressure as you are giving yourself an option. You could do that task, however its not a demand.

Awareness is the first step to making a change, you cannot change consciously without being aware of what you want to change in the first place. I started back tracking my thoughts, if I realised I used the word should, I'd simply back track and restate the sentence to myself changing the word Should for Could.

This felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders, fog clearing and a great sense of relief. The most important thing is to do this with kindness. It defeats the purpose to beat yourself up about using the word Should as you are continuing the effect of the word itself.

Another technique that we use in NLP is a pattern interrupt. For example, if you notice you use the word Should, straight away do something completely different to what you were doing before such as humming a nursery rhyme, jumping on the spot, pulling your ear...the list is endless.


This distracts the mind and interrupts the pattern. If we can disrupt the flow enough times then we can naturally reduce the amount of times we use the word Should.

Try it and notice what changes!

Disclaimer: This blog contains thoughts and opinions expressed by myself, other individuals along with links to other websites. Please use your own discernment related to all material and always seek advice from a health care professional for serious health concerns.