7 Life Lessons I've Learned from NLP...

The last 4 and a half years have been a HUGE journey. 

I have laughed, cried, and found meaning to seemingly hopeless situations. Walked barefoot over hot coals, and completely changed the direction of my life. 

It's not been easy.  

And there were many times I felt like giving up.

Though, through perseverance and by using NLP professionally to help others on a regular basis, my whole world has expanded.

Years ago, when I first stepped into that training room on day one, nervously anticipating what would come... little did I know how far this journey would take me. 

And I'm not necessarily talking about achievements either. 

I was completely unaware how far it would take me into a deeper understanding and awareness of myself and others. 

Among all the insights since becoming a NLP Coach, there are a few key things I discovered along the way. Mostly through trial and error... and a few unfortunate circumstances.

For your benefit, I've translated these insights into Life Lessons so it's applicable to everyone, as not everyone want's to be a Coach... it's a tough job at times!


7 Life Lessons...

1) THERE IS ALWAYS A CHOICE: 
People will change if they really want to change, and if they don't desire that change, don't force it. 

I learnt this the hard way and now know to respect loved ones personal choice. Whilst I market my work online (I feel it's my duty to do so, to keep it accessible if people are interested and in need of support), I just now place it in a common space where people can choose to connect if they want to know more. With friends and family I talk about what I'm passionate about though I steer clear if I sense they're are not interested. 

This is true too for coaching clients... there is no point doing sessions if a client doesn't want to put in some input and experience the change!

We also have a choice on how we live our life and respond to situations. We can choose to take action, accept personal responsibility for our life, or choose to continue living a dis-empowered life blaming others for our misfortunes. 

It's our choice.

Life Lesson: In every situation, even if  you initially feel otherwise, you have a choice on how you live your life and how you respond to events.

2) TAP INTO YOUR INNER STRENGTH: 
We are so resilient, more than we know, and NLP as much as anything has been a tool to remember this. To clear away the cobwebs and 'see' what is really within. A huge potential, spark and light within each and everyone of us. It's a series of tools and techniques to remember who we truly are.

In challenging moments, ask yourself... 

'Am I focusing on the problem? Or what I can do about it?' 

'Am I focused on failures, inner critic and imperfections? Or am I focused on my strengths and resources within?'

Life Lesson: You are more than a million times better, stronger, and lovable than you think. Focus on your strengths and solutions will appear. 

3) DISCOVER THE DEEPER UNDERSTANDING: 
Your external world is a reflection of your inner world. Clients can be excellent mirrors in that sense however it is VITAL in being the best Coach that you continue working on yourself so not to project 'your stuff' onto them. Personally, by looking deeper within over the years I finally understood the 'why' behind fears and beliefs I used to hold, almost like a light bulb being switched on in a dark room... now everything is clear about any pain and suffering I endured.

Life Lesson: Every single moment, no matter how painful is an opportunity to gain deeper understanding about ourselves and others... and through this understanding comes healing.

4) START BEFORE YOU'RE READY: 
Becoming a NLP Coach, has taught me to be courageous. To step out of my comfort zone and to start before I felt ready. I remember during the first few practice sessions with case studies years ago, I was terrified. Hearing an endless spew from my Inner Critic on why 'I wasn't good enough' which really was only trying to keep me within my comfort zone, safe and protected out of fear of rejection and danger.

Looking back I am so glad I made the conscious choice to continue regardless. Often when we experience the doing of something, that very process builds confidence in the said activity. 

Life Lesson: If you wait until you feel ready, even if its something you really want to do, not only do you miss out on a great learning experience, other people miss out too. 

Tweet this: "If you wait until you feel ready, not only are you missing out on great gifts, others miss out too" Emma Bradford #StartBeforeYou'reReady

5) ENGAGE IN ACTIVITY: 
I can't count how many times I have met individuals who have done NLP qualifications (or other for that matter), proudly stating who they studied with... yet still fail to grasp the number 1 key of NLP. 

It doesn't give you the desired shifts if you don't use it! 

If you want to experience shifts, start attending practice evenings like the one HERE in Barcelona, find a Coach or practice the techniques yourself... and keep going until you achieve the results you want. 

Knowledge is useful, though wisdom through experiencing it first hand is priceless.

Life Lesson: There's no failure... only feedback. Use what you learn and keep going, try different practical approaches until you get the results you want. You are closer than you think.

6) BE A MAGPIE: 
This phrase always makes me giggle. A late University teacher once told me this, as I was starting out my Textile Design training many years ago before I chose my current path. To be a great Artist or Designer, you need to be observant. 

Inspiration is everywhere. 

In other words... "Be a Magpie looking for those shiny objects" he said. 

NLP is an ongoing learning curve. Being a Master Practitioner doesn't mean that you have mastered everything and cease to learn... in my eyes it simply means that you have mastered the art of being connected to that curious mindset. 'I wonder what is really going on here', discovering the deeper meaning as I previously mentioned... and being open to learning more, expanding on techniques and related topics both for yourself and your clients.

Life Lesson: It's out there... if you look for it, you can find it.


7) NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE MIND: 
That grey matter inside your skull is one of the most powerful tools you have. I always knew the mind had a huge influence on our lives, though after my trainings and experiencing this first hand both through Firewalk's, healing small physical ailments and much more... I can now see I hugely underestimated the value of my mind before. Our beliefs and mindset play a huge role in our life experience. 

If you say to yourself repeatedly 'I'm bad, I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I'm not worthy...' how does your body respond? Often muscles start to tense and we adopt a body posture that closes in and withdraws. 

Whereas if we were to state the opposite 'I'm good, I'm intelligent, I'm beautiful, I'm worthy...' how does your body react differently? Do you notice an increased sense of lightness, ease in breath or feel more relaxed? Or perhaps you may notice your body posture starting to open up?

These changes can be subtle at first, though by trying this out you can literally feel the results of how your mind can affect your physical reality. 

Life Lesson: The mind has more influence on our life experience than many can imagine. The grass is greener where you water it! 

Now its your turn... using the comment section below, which of these 7 Life Lessons most resonated with you most and why? I'd love to hear your shares and perhaps your share can help inspire others too.

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5 Steps to Increased Confidence...

I quote these talks a lot in coaching sessions, workshops and meetups. 

Great message, amusing, and useful tips on how to increase our happiness and confidence levels.

The other week I carried out a 'The Power of The Mind' workshop in Barcelona looking at how our mind influences our body. What we think, creates emotions through our internal representations and meanings that we attach to experiences, which then in turn affect our physiology and behaviour.

I also touched on the reverse, how the body can affect the mind. Studies have shown that if we adopt a high power pose (body posture that we naturally take when we win something or are in a position of power) we actually create a chemical reaction within the body which then starts to affect our state of mind.

By adopting one of these power poses and also linking it with a memory when we felt confident in the past we can create a powerful kinaesthetic anchor to use whenever we need to. I started doing this when I completed my first NLP training in 2012, using the anchor every day. Now I find its so powerful I just have to use it for a few seconds whenever I feel I need an extra boost and to keep the anchor topped up full of energy. 

5 STEPS TO INCREASED CONFIDENCE

• STEP 1: Recall a memory when you felt totally confident, the strongest memory you can think of. As you think about this memory with your eyes closed, adopt an 'arms up in the air' position with your chin slightly lifted as if you have just won a race (see example in video).

• STEP 2: See what you see in that memory hear what you hear in that memory, and with every breath notice that your confidence levels become stronger and stronger. Notice what you say to yourself when you feel totally confident. 

• STEP 3: Increase the level of all senses making the images of your memory in your minds eye BIGGER and BRIGHTER, sounds CLEARER and LOUDER, feelings STRONGER and STRONGER with every breath and repeat your internal dialogue to yourself a couple of times...notice how totally confident you feel now!

• STEP 4: Open your eyes, put your arms down and do something to clear your mind such as listening to a song, counting to 20 out loud, watching a video clip of your favourite film. This acts as what we call a 'Break State' which helps to lock in place the anchor we created previously. Take a moment to notice how you feel now before testing the anchor, have a quick mental scan of your body.

• STEP 5: Test the anchor. Close your eyes, put your arms up in the air in the same position as you previously did and notice what changes. What is different now? How has your level of confidence changed now? Some may also start to notice changes to breathing, or thoughts of the previous memory coming back.

Use this every day for at least 30 seconds whenever you have a moment to yourself, when you first get up out of bed, when you are in the toilet behind closed doors etc and you can lock in place a powerful resource anchor to use whenever you need to in the future. Perfect to use before interviews and exams, increasing your levels of success!

Good stuff eh?!